Chapter 21
LOUIS
He was so fucking sweet and earnest with his questions. And the way he toggled between alpha male one moment and unsure the next was fascinating. That mix of dominance and vulnerability was like catnip. I couldn’t get enough of it.
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I assure you, there isn’t anything I’ve suggested that I don’t like to do or wouldn’t want done to me.
I don’t have a lot of boundaries or hard limits when it comes to sex, but I promise, I won’t compromise them for anyone, so if I’m telling you I like something or I’m willing to do something, you can be sure that I mean it. ”
The wrinkle that had formed between his brows smoothed out as he relaxed. “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“No need to thank me. This is the most I’ve enjoyed myself with another man in years.” The truth of it hit me as I said it, taking me by surprise.
“Really?” The wrinkle between his brows returned, and I couldn’t resist pressing my finger to the crease and rubbing it away.
“I think I’ve been in a rut,” I said, thinking back on the last several years of my dating life.
“It doesn’t really matter how I meet a man—in a bar, through a friend, an app—the end result is always the same.
We get each other off, maybe fuck a few times, then go our separate ways.
There’s rarely any emotional connection.
Barely even an attempt at polite conversation before getting down to business.
” I was revealing too much. Suggesting a lack of these things with others was admitting that I felt these things with him and that put me on dangerous ground.
“I mean, I’m not suggesting one has to be married or in a relationship in order to have sex.
I just think it would be nice to have a friendship at least.”
“Is that what we are? Friends?” His voice was gruff, his eyes serious.
“I mean, we don’t really know each other, do we?” I scrambled back from the edge of the cliff I was dangerously close to plummeting over. “And I’m going back to the city in a few days, so I don’t really know what that makes us.”
I stood, facing away from him as I pulled up my pants with jerky movements.
“Anyway, we should probably get some lunch or something. I’m kind of getting hungry.
What sounds good to you?” I smoothed a hand down my sweater, settling it back into place.
“I don’t really know what our options are here in town if you want to go out?
Or I could make us something. We could eat the leftovers from Christmas. I’m sure I could—”
“Louis.” His voice was soft but firm, putting a halt to my babbling. His hand rested on my elbow, and I slowly turned to face him. “I’d be honored to call you my friend.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely.”
While Matty showered, I sent a quick text to my sister.
I’m so fucked
To my surprise, she responded immediately. I’d figured she’d be busy with the baby and would respond whenever she had a chance.
Nat
Bear problems? *winky-faced emoji*
You’re such a shit
You’re the one who said you were fucked
Despite the fact we were texting and she couldn’t possibly see me, I rolled my eyes.
You know what? Never mind
Wait!
I’ll be good
Promise
My phone alerted me to an incoming FaceTime call, Nat’s name flashing on the screen, but with a flick of the eye to the bathroom, I declined it.
This convo needs to stay on text
He’s in the shower and could come out at any moment
. . .
I don’t know what to say here that’s not going to get me in trouble
Despite myself, I smiled at her sass. God, I missed her.
We might have fooled around a little bit
So . . . not so straight as you thought?
Not so straight as HE thought
This is a bi-awakening sitch
Ooh! That’s one of my favorite tropes
This isn’t a romance novel, Nat
Don’t ruin this for me
Oh, I forgot this conversation is all about you
Ok fine. So what’s the issue?
I’m catching feelings
Not just catching
Coming down with a full on case of “I’ve got a crush on my formerly straight, widowed, lumberjack of a neighbor and I don’t know what to do about it”
Uh-oh.
What are you going to do?
I don’t know. That’s why I’m texting you
What makes you think I have the answers?
Come on, Nat
You’re always bossing me around and I’m always telling you not to
This is your chance
TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Have you told him how you feel?
Ew. No
Mature
He’s not really a feelings sort of guy
Though that wasn’t exactly true. On Christmas Day, he’d told me that he wasn’t the sort to talk about his feelings, and he’d shown he wasn’t generally inclined to be the one to bring those feelings up, but he also hadn’t shied away from talking about them when I’d asked questions.
But this . . . this felt serious. Talking about how I felt about him would not only put me in a vulnerable position, but it might also end up scaring him away.
Setting that weak excuse aside, what exactly do you want out of this, Lou?
You live in the city. He lives in the middle of nowhere.
Is this a Hallmark movie?
Have you had an epiphany in which you’ve realized you’ve been chasing your tail in your corporate career and the only possible solution is a flannel-wearing man living in a small town?
Goddammit. I was a fucking cliché.
Kind of
Removing my glasses, I scrubbed my hand down my face while I waited for her response. When my phone vibrated, I returned my glasses to my nose, both curious to see what she’d say and terrified at the same time.
Would you seriously consider moving there for him?
God, would I? The thought was overwhelming.
You’re not going to tell me this is all too fast? I just met the guy five days ago
I knew there was something different about Charlie on our first date. By the third, I knew we’d get married. Only you can know your own heart
My eyes flicked toward the bathroom at the sound of the water turning off, signaling my time for this conversation was nearing an end.
This does feel different
I’m scared Nat
Aww. I can’t wait to meet him!
What makes you think it will get to that point?
How many times have you texted me about a guy?
I let out a disgruntled snort.
Too many to count
Right. And not once have you ever admitted to being scared
I think you’re right. I think this one IS different
The bathroom door opened, and Matthew walked out dressed only in a towel that barely wrapped around his waist. His hair was glistening with moisture from his shower while droplets of water trailed down his chest. I wanted to lick each individual droplet off his body one by one.
“Give me a minute to get dressed and we can head out.”
Unable to form words, I simply nodded and watched as he headed into his bedroom.
I’ve gotta go. He just got out of the shower. We’re going to grab lunch
Good luck!
Keep me posted!
Love you, sis!
Give my namesake a kiss!
Will do! And love you too!