Chapter 35
LOUIS
“Louis, so good to see you!” Jesse took my coat, handing it off to his husband to hang up in the closet, then turned his attention back to me.
He took one look at me and placed his palm on his chest. “Oh my god, what’s wrong?
” Had I not been a miserable wreck, I might have laughed at the speed with which his tone switched from friendly greeting to dramatic concern.
I was a miserable wreck, though. So much so, that his expression of concern had my lip wobbling and my eyes filling with tears.
Goddammit. Not again. Jesse’s shrewd eyes didn’t miss a thing.
“Babes, come with me.” He wrapped a black-cashmere-covered arm around my shoulder and began pulling me further into the house.
“Salvy, get Louis a drink, will you? We’ll be in my office. ”
“What about our other guests?”
“They’ll be fine. It’s not like we invited strangers who’ve never been here. Louis is obviously having a crisis.”
“I’m not having a crisis. I’m fine.” I was definitely having a crisis and wasn’t anywhere close to being fine. “Go see to your guests.”
I tried to shrug out of his grip, but he was stronger than he looked for a millennial twink.
“Nonsense.” He steered me to the back of the house, pointing me toward the leather couch inside his home office.
Jesse was a marketing exec for a very successful dating app and worked from home three days a week.
We’d actually met using the app but had become friends after realizing there wasn’t any chemistry between us.
He’d met Salvador not long after that, and they’d been together ever since.
“Spill it. What’s got you looking like someone just abducted your brand-new puppy?”
Despite myself, I chuckled. “You’ve got such a way with words.”
Salvy came in carrying a vodka martini, extra dirty. “Okay, Benny’s going to answer the door if anyone shows up. Oh, shit.” Salvy pulled up short when he caught sight of me. “Jesse wasn’t kidding. What happened?”
I accepted the martini from Jesse and took a healthy gulp. The alcohol burned, causing my eyes to water, but I took another sip anyway. Heading into the new year completely blitzed sounded like a fantastic plan. “Thanks. You really know how to make a guy feel attractive.”
“Stop deflecting.” Jesse’s tone was bossy as fuck, but he took my hand in his and gave me his full attention. Comparatively speaking, Jesse made my flair for drama look sedate, but beneath the theatrics he was rock solid. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.
I took a shaky breath, then exhaled.
“I met a guy.”
The couple exchanged looks. “Well, yeah,” Salvy said. “We kind of assumed . . .”
“He’s nothing like any of the guys I’ve ever dated.
He’s . . .” I tried to think of the best way to describe him without setting off the tears all over again.
I’d cried myself to sleep last night and had two more crying jags today.
I was so very tired of the tears. “He’s built like a lumberjack.
Dresses like one too. He’s gruff and grumbly, but he has a heart of gold. ”
“Yummy,” Jesse said. “So what happened?”
“I fell for him. Like, really hard.”
Salvy nodded sympathetically. “And he didn’t feel the same way?”
“Ugh, my sister said the same thing.” I took another hefty gulp of my martini. It was more than half gone already. “I didn’t exactly tell him how I felt.”
“Oh, Louis. That’s—”
“And how do you feel?” Matthew’s voice, strong and smooth, like steel wrapped in velvet, slid across my skin like a caress.
My pulse picked up, my skin flushed, and my cock began to fill, even as my heart jumped into my throat.
With shaky hands, I set the drink on the table in front of me, then smoothed my sweaty palms over my slacks and stood.
Taking a breath to steady myself, I turned to face him.
“Matty?’ I asked, as if I hadn’t known him by the sound of his voice.
As if I wasn’t looking at him with my own two eyes.
He was wearing a pair of crisp charcoal slacks paired with the same creamy sweater he’d worn to Christmas dinner, and he’d trimmed his beard.
He looked sexy as hell. “How did you . . . ? What are you doing here?”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
I thought about what my sister had said about one of us needing to make a move. Well, showing up here was a pretty bold fucking move. I supposed it was my turn.
“I feel . . . shit, Matty. The last twenty-four hours have been hell. But before that—the last week with you—was one of the best of my life.”
He stepped into the room, approaching me cautiously, as if he was afraid I would bolt. “Then why did you leave early?”
“I was scared,” I whispered, my voice shaky.
His cobalt blue eyes bore into mine with ferocious intensity, as if he was searching the depths of my soul.
And then he took another step forward and reached out to take my hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over my skin.
The feel of his palm against mine sent warmth spreading through my nervous system and settled my pulse. It felt like coming home.
“I’m scared too.”
“Maybe we should leave these two alone,” Salvy said in a stage whisper.
“No way. It’s just getting good,” Jesse replied, not even bothering to whisper at all.
“Come on.” Salvy stood, pulling Jesse up with him and dragging him toward the door. “You know Louis will fill us in later. Let’s get back to the party.”
The couple stepped out into the hall, but Salvador poked his head back into the room, giving me a pointed look.
“I do expect a full report on whatever this is.” He gestured between the two of us.
“Make sure to come give us a proper introduction once you work out your shit.” He turned his piercing brown eyes to Matthew.
“And you. I’m assuming you came all this way for a good reason.
Louis is one of my favorite people. He deserves to be happy. Don’t fuck it up.”
And with that proclamation, Salvy tossed me a wink and disappeared down the hall. Between the two of them, Jesse tended to be the most dramatic, but damn, Salvy could give him a run for his money when he wanted to.
I turned my attention back to Matty. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He lifted his hand and tentatively brushed his knuckles across the back of my cheek. I couldn’t help but lean into the touch.
“You look nice,” I said, smoothing a hand down the front of his sweater.
“Stevie helped me put it together. If we’re going to do this thing, I’m going to need to go shopping. Everything else is flannel.”
If we’re going to do this thing . . . Hope bloomed and my pulse rate picked right back up once again.
“I like your flannel.”
His eyes widened. “You do?”
“It’s sexy as fuck.” I took a chance and stepped in closer. “Though I like you naked the best.”
His lips turned up in the smallest of smirks and then returned to a more serious expression.
“I’m not ready to give you up, Lou. I may not ever be ready.
And damned if that doesn’t scare the shit out of me.
I mean, this is all happening so fast. But the thought of living the rest of my life without you in it . . . well, that scares me more.”
I couldn’t breathe. Those words, the sincerity behind them, healed something inside me. Some piece of me that had been told I was too much and figured I was destined to be alone. He wanted me enough to chase after me, and that was pretty damn amazing.
“I’m sorry I left so fast and didn’t tell you how I felt.
You turned me inside out, Matty. No one has ever seen me the way you do.
Made me feel accepted . . .” I shook my head.
“No, not just accepted, but wanted exactly as I am. I just couldn’t imagine you felt the same way.
We’re so different and we don’t even live in the same place. How can that work?”
He stepped forward, fully invading my space now, and placed both hands on either side of my face. “I think that if you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way. And I want you, Lou. I want to make this work with you.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he swooped in and captured my lips before I could the get the words out. Kissing him felt like . . . It was as if the atoms in my body reshaped themselves into something new, something whole and complete and . . . his.