Chapter 23
Sonny
“My phone doesn’t work, even though I charged it,” I said, shaking it as though that would solve the problem, as though I could shake it awake or something.
Erik reached over and plucked the phone out of my hand and popped the back open.
“It’s wet,” he said.
“Oh, I assumed it hadn’t gone into the lake with me. I suppose it must have, though, if it was in my pocket.”
“It went in with you,” he said, and there was something about the way he said it that made me want to ask more questions. I didn’t get the chance, because Declan spoke.
“You can use my phone while I shower, Sonny.”
“Thanks. I want to start following some peeps.”
“Who?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’ll have to search them out, which is why I wanted my phone.”
Erik turned to Declan, as though asking for clarification.
Declan cleared his throat, a sure sign he was uncomfortable. “He wants to look up polyamory.”
“Of course I do,” I cried. “Because that’s what we are now, right? I don’t want to leave this to chance, I want it to work!”
Declan was standing by the bathroom door, crutch in one hand and a pile of clothes in the other and gloriously naked apart from that.
Our come was smeared across him, more than I’d anticipated because apparently Erik’s tentacles had slithered through it and wiped it across his chest. I really, really wanted to see Erik’s tentacles wound around Declan again as he made Declan come. That would be so hot.
“I guess I’ll leave you to your research and clean up.”
Declan turned to enter the bathroom and I jumped up from the couch and rushed over to him across the tiny space.
Wrapping my arms around him from behind, I squeezed tightly, feeling the same relief and gratitude that he was here, so warm and alive in my arms, that I always felt when I held him.
“What’s this for?” he asked.
“Because I love you, and I’m so glad I get to tell you that now.”
He gave a chuckle and his fingers stroked my arm, the only bit of me he could reach. “I’m glad, too. I like hearing it.”
“I’ll tell you a lot,” I promised.
Releasing him, I watched him walk into the bathroom and close the door. There was no click of the lock because apparently Erik had a ‘no locking the door’ rule for Declan, too.
I smiled at how sweet Erik was to take care of us both like that. I wanted to do something for him, too.
“Do you want a cup of tea?” I asked.
It wasn’t exactly a declaration of undying love or the greatest show of caretaking or anything, but it was a start. I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure what we were – I really needed to look that up, right? – but I wanted to show Erik that I’d take care of him.
“Sure,” he said. “How about I put the fire on to warm this place up?”
“Great! I love sitting by the fire.”
“I know. And maybe you want to wash that semen off your arms while you’re in the kitchen.”
I looked down at my arms, and realised that, when I’d wrapped them around Declan, I’d squelched our come all over my forearms.
Erik’s eyes twinkled as he looked at me, so I smiled and said, “Sure,” and went into the kitchen. While the kettle boiled, I washed my arms in the sink, using a tea towel and throwing it straight into the washing machine. That could get washed with the next load.
By the time I carried three teas into the other room, the fire was crackling merrily, a small, bright flame.
“Your tree looks nice in the firelight. It’s making everything sparkle.”
“Thank you,” said Erik. “I nearly didn’t bother with a tree this year, but since you and Declan were stuck here with me, I thought it was worth it.”
I sat on the couch and patted the seat beside me. Erik squeezed into the space and I gave a dramatic shiver.
“That fire hasn’t warmed me up yet.”
“Oh, here, let me get the blanket.”
He was out in the bedroom and returning with the colourful blanket before I could tell him not to bother. Draping it over me, he made sure I was covered.
“Better?”
“Actually, I wanted you to wrap me up and keep me warm.”
He glanced at the bathroom door. “Are you sure?”
The little happy fire that had been burning in my gut since I’d convinced myself that this whole poly thing could work suddenly dimmed, almost going out. Maybe I’d been wrong about it, after all.
Making my voice as cheerful as I could, I said, “You don’t have to. It’s okay if you only want to be with Declan. He’s amazing. I get it. And we can still make it work. We can have like an open relationship or something. Is that what it’s called? Where’s Declan’s phone, I need to look it up.”
Before I could stand up and search for Declan’s phone, Erik sat beside me and grabbed me in his arms, pulling me back against him so I was half-laying on him. His arms wound tightly around my chest and he arranged the blanket so it covered my feet to keep them toasty.
His breath was warm on my ear as he spoke, a strange, slightly pleasurable physical sensation that emphasised his words.
“From what I already know about the two of you, I’ve already worked out that we are really going to have to work on clear and open communication.
So let me put my cards on the table. I like Declan. ”
“You more than like him,” I corrected, and then worried I’d gone too far.
Erik huffed out a breath that might have been a chuff of laughter but I couldn’t see him to check. “You’re right. I just said we needed to be clear and then I hedged. So let me be clear: I love Declan.”
His hands stroked over my arms and down my stomach.
“Relax,” he said.
I hadn’t realised I’d become tense. “Sorry.”
“I like you. I feel like I know you better than I should after meeting you, what, five days ago? Declan’s told me all about you. I like you a lot already, more than I thought possible.”
Relaxing again under Erik’s gentle hands, leaning back on his hard chest which, by the way, don’t think I hadn’t noticed, I let my mouth get away from me.
“I know what you mean. Declan’s been talking about you for months and I could hear how much he cared about you, how much you meant to him, and it made me sick with envy. Then I met you and I couldn’t even hate you properly.”
I twisted my head round to look at Erik’s face.
“Oops. I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”
He smiled and his hand brushed against my arm. “I think it’s best to tell the truth. It’ll help us all in the long run, even if it’s awkward right now.”
“Are you, um, thinking of keeping me around for the long-haul then?”
Was that too obvious? Why did I not have the ability to subtle like other people?
His arms tightened around me.
It was a good answer.
I relaxed, turning back to face away from him, watching the fire crackle merrily and grow.
“Hold me properly,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“Properly. With your tentacles too.”
Erik hesitated, and I was about to twist round again, afraid I’d crossed a line again, but then he breathed, “Do you really not mind them?”
“I like them. They’re soft and strong, and they make me feel safe. I remember them from the water.”
It didn’t feel like he was doing anything at first, and then a swell of movement behind me rocked against my back, a soft bulge and then a long, beautiful purple tentacle slipped out from under Erik’s shirt and wound round me loosely, resting on my thighs.
I stroked a hand along it, not wanting to make a big thing about it, but I also was far, far too nosey to not actually take a look at what I’d been seeing – or wondering if I’d been seeing – for days.
I lifted the tentacle and studied it, running my fingers over the skin and along the underside, around the suckers that winked like stars and made me wonder what they would feel like latching onto my skin like a love bite.
The bathroom door opened behind us and I grabbed the blanket to make sure it covered my crotch because I’d accidentally got hard while Eric wrapped me up in his many arms.
I peered round at Declan and saw he’d put his jeans on, but he hadn’t bothered with his prosthetic.
He saw me look and gave an awkward chuckle. “I’m going to have to put it on again soon or I’m going to undo all Erik’s hard work of getting me to stand on it properly.”
“You can put it on later. Come and sit with us first.”
He came over to the couch and looked at where I’d spread out, practically laying against Eric.
Eric’s voice was tight as he asked, “How do you feel about this?”
Instead of answering straight away, Declan went to the fireplace and held on with one hand while he used the crutch to nudge a little wooden stool into position before lowering himself down onto it.
Only when he was seated and his crutch was neatly stowed beside him did he answer. I was guessing he’d been buying time to think.
“I don’t know how I feel about it yet. You look beautiful together and I’m not going to lie, it’s kind of hot.
I like that you’re spending time together and you’re comfortable with each other.
” He took a deep breath. “I guess I’m a bit afraid that you’ll want each other more than me and I’ll be surplus to requirements. ”
I made a noise of protest and sat up, reaching for him. He waved me aside.
“I know you don’t think it now, Sonny, but I’m afraid you’ll think it later. When you and Eric are together and-and whole and—”
He stopped talking and I waited, but that was all he was going to say.
Eric stretched out a long limb and brushed it against Declan’s hand. “Thank you for telling us. It helps, you know. To understand. I didn’t realise you’d feel that way. I thought I was the odd one out.”
I gasped and twisted round to face Erik. “You’re not the odd one out! Declan’s been falling for you for months, and he took you on a date.”
Erik’s limbs slid over me, soothing me. “He took you on a date, too, only I crashed it and then, well, it ended badly.”
Declan said, “Thank God you were there.”
“Yeah,” said Erik. His tentacles tightened around me, as though they reflexively wanted to hold me tighter.