Chapter 14 #2
I also recognized that all my schoolwork wasn’t insurmountable.
I was complaining about a very small course load compared to what the other seniors had to contend with.
They were studying for finals while still participating in the majority of missions.
Hell, Tamara was less than a month postpartum, breastfeeding, and caring for a newborn just released from the NICU, yet she was still involved in missions.
Granted, it was at her request, but she was still rocking it like a rock star.
Soon, I was crying again. I sounded like a crybaby, like I couldn’t handle life, and I had been through far more than this.
Hell, there were days I walked miles scavenging through bar dumpsters to retrieve bottles and cans to feed Ella and me.
There were days I had to ration packs of ramen soup and canned meat because school was out of session and Heidi didn’t have food for us.
In the grand scheme of things, my current predicaments were easily surmountable.
“Why am I such a crybaby?” I began to wail. “These babies weren’t planned, but they are loved. There are women out there begging God for a child, and I have two and wasn’t even trying. I’m complaining about a little bit of schoolwork and making a mountain out of a molehill, for nothing.
“I’m tired, but it pales in comparison to when I had to care for Ella, and she would get sick.
Heidi couldn’t care less if her daughter was sick or if I needed to go to school.
There were a few times when all my home remedies wouldn’t work, and I would beg her to go get medications.
I would have to wait until she or her mom passed out so I could sneak into their purses and steal some money.
I knew I would get a beating, but I didn’t care. It was worth it.
“This is child’s play compared to the trials I’ve endured. I’m living an amazing, fulfilling life and really have nothing to complain about.”
It took me a few moments to realize that Lincoln’s face had turned to granite.
“It’s a good thing that woman is in prison.
” He smoothed my hair off my face and kissed my forehead.
“Treasure, there’s nothing to be ashamed of with your feelings.
It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed, and I don’t think I would be taking it half as well if I had to grow two babies.
Your hormones are wreaking havoc on your body, and that’s okay too.
It’s better to let it all out than to bottle it all in. ”
I sighed, thankful for his short but sweet words.
I set my forehead on his chest and wrapped my arms around him, reveling in his embrace.
After several seconds of basking in his hold, I began to caress his skin.
Just like that, my libido was awakened. I was soon peppering kisses along his stubbled jawline, enjoying the rough texture of his hair against my sensitive lips.
He made a sound deep in the back of his throat when my lips grazed a particularly erogenous spot behind his ear. I flicked my tongue over his ear before lightly taking it between my teeth. His hands clenched and unclenched around my waist.
“Mon trésor,” he huskily warned. “I’m trying to be sensitive to your emotions right now.”
Other times, I might have been slightly insulted by his proclamation, but all the blood had left my brain and flooded to my nether regions.
I pushed Lincoln’s shoulders, using a bit of my strength.
I briefly caught the warring look of heat and shock in his eyes before I was scrambling down his body.
I use the word scrambling loosely, considering the giant basketball I was smuggling under my olive-green t-shirt dress.
I made quick work of the buttons on his pants before lowering the zipper.
Lincoln understood my intentions and lifted his hips so I could pull his boxers and pants down.
I was glad we had adopted the no-shoes policy in the apartment, so I didn’t have to remove his boots. Combat boots were a pain to take off.
I hungrily eyed his cock, smirking as I realized how aroused he was.
I licked my lips, eager to take him into my mouth.
I situated myself between his thighs, finding a comfortable position before slowly taking him in.
I smiled around him when I heard the strangled, satisfied noise he emitted from his throat. His legs jerked beneath my touch.
I got lost in the feeling of him sliding in and out of my mouth.
I lowered myself repeatedly, intentionally choking to let the saliva build up.
Soon, I felt his long, slim fingers slide through my hair and along the back of my head.
He didn’t guide me or push me further down; he simply followed my movement, gently thrusting up into my mouth.
I turned my gaze to him, watching him watch me. I could barely see his aquamarine eyes through his long, thick, sooty eyelashes. His eyes were mere slits, but the primal hunger in his heavily hooded gaze was unmistakable.
“Jump me,” he commanded huskily.
I was so lost in watching the play of emotions on his sharp, angular features that it took the repetition of the demand for it to finally sink in.
A second later, I realized what he wanted.
He wanted me to jump him so I could see myself going down on him.
I let out an unintentional mew of pleasure before attempting to follow his instructions.
I briefly closed my eyes, centered myself, and fell into his body.
When I was learning how to jump, I found it very difficult.
With most of my gifts, I had to imagine them and grasp them.
Jumping, however, was more like letting go.
It was reminiscent of falling into the person you wanted to occupy, rather than pulling their consciousness into your own.
The feeling of jumping into place was indescribable; it was like an inaudible click, and you knew you were “locked” into place.
Once I felt the change, I slowly opened my eyes, which instantly widened.
A part of my consciousness was still engaged in going down on Lincoln, yet I had an awareness of him as I occupied his body.
It took me a few more moments to understand why Lincoln had asked me to jump him, and I had to admit I understood his intentions.
It was kind of sexy seeing myself going down on him.
That small part of consciousness that still controlled my body wickedly grinned up at me.
It was disconcerting, occupying one body while being able to control another.
My other consciousness reached down, pulled her dress over her head, and shimmied out of the boy-cut panties before delving between her thighs.
I felt Lincoln jolt beside me, the vibration of his groan emanating from deep in his chest.
When I had jumped him, I had intentionally “allowed” him to stay.
The only way I could describe it was to imagine the part of the brain that registers awareness as a closet of sorts.
I could reach out and touch the sides of the closet, but there were still recesses far above my head that I was unable to reach.
It was very deep and seemed never-ending at times.
Every now and then, a glimmer of light illuminated an area that was in use, but in that moment, I realized how much of it remained a mystery to us.
In this case, I could feel Lincoln’s presence.
I was able to sense him, but unable to “touch” him.
In most instances, when we jumped, we essentially opened the closet door and shoved the other occupant out.
Outside of that container was a mystery in itself.
It was hard to say whether the space was a warehouse or a shoebox apartment.
It was moments like that that made me understand scientists’ fascination with the “unused” areas of our brains.
I could feel how turned on Lincoln was as he watched me play with myself.
When I first began exploring my sexuality with the guys, the idea of touching myself in front of them made me incredibly shy.
At first, it was awkward, and I felt little enjoyment because I was so afraid of looking stupid or like a porn star.
It took me a while to shake off my inhibitions and realize how much pleasure it gave a few of them.
Their enjoyment made me braver. Once I embraced the feeling, I could let go. I found pleasure in theirs. In most things, their satisfaction made me satisfied. There were very few things I hesitated to explore with them, since everything we did together was fulfilling.
I was brought out of my intense introspection when Lincoln groaned and grasped his cock. “Enough, Blake.”
I closed my eyes again and sank back into my body. The more I did it, the easier it became. It was like breathing, second nature. Something I didn’t even have to think about doing.
I catalogued the room, reintegrating myself into my body. My eyes swung back to the man lying prone beneath me. I noticed the rapid rise and fall of his chest and could see how on edge he was. His eyes were nearly crazed as he leaned toward me, attempting to drag me up his body.
“I need to feel your tight pussy,” he gutturally growled. He grasped his wet shaft and pointed it up. “Sit on it.”
I smiled and gently lowered myself onto him.
I let out a long, low hiss as I felt him stretch me.
I closed my eyes and threw my head back.
I braced my hands on his legs, leaned back further, and rotated my hips in an attempt to get him fully in me.
I made a sound of satisfaction once I was completely seated on him. He shuddered, and my eyes popped open.
“Your wet pussy feels good wrapped around my cock,” he smirked. “And your hair tickles against my thighs.”