Chapter 21 #6
No, it had never been like this with any other woman, not even close.
He pulled her to him and rested his chin against the top of her head, listening as her ragged breath began to slow.
He loved the feel of her in his arms, and when he held her like this, the softness of her body against the hardness of his.
He felt the now familiar tightening in his chest, and for the first time admitted to himself that he wanted to keep her.
Even not knowing who she was, even knowing he could never give her a child, he wanted her.
With him. Always. Hell, he had wanted her from the first moment he saw her, had probably never stood a chance.
But now he wanted to possess her, make her his forever so that she would never be able to leave him, and he would never have to go back to the empty life he had lived before.
The feelings rose up in him so strongly that he felt almost overwhelmed.
He lowered his mouth to kiss the top of her head, and she sighed and snuggled closer against his chest. He stroked her hair slowly, still lost in his own thoughts.
He still didn’t know where she had come from, or why she had given him her innocence.
Perhaps he was being played for a fool, there was a good chance of it, but for this moment he didn’t care.
If there was even a small chance that she would stay with him, could come to care for him, he would take it, because unlike any woman that had come before, she seemed to…
complete him. He had no desire to be half a man again.
She shifted in his arms and looked up at him, her hand sliding along the side of his body in a slow, erotic caress.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked drowsily. “You look a thousand miles away.”
He smiled at her, one corner of his mouth tilting up suggestively. “I was thinking that once is not nearly enough to fulfill my needs, so I can’t let you go just yet.”
Ella narrowed her eyes at him. “That is not what you were thinking. And you will let me go, it’s only a matter of time before you discover who I am and send me back, you said so yourself.” She was rewarded by the unconscious tightening of his arms around her body. He didn’t want to send her away.
“Aye, lass, and it would be much easier if you would finally tell me.” In truth he had already stopped trying to find out where she had come from. He didn’t want to know anymore if it meant losing her.
She kissed him gently on the chin. “I would tell you everything if I could. But the decision is not mine to make.” She let her hands roam over his warm skin, feeling each muscle flex in reaction to her touch.
To have so much raw power under her fingertips was a heady feeling.
“I will tell you this, Ceann, I want no more than to be here with you, and I hope that, in time, you will understand the things I can’t tell you yet.
I wish I could tell you everything, right here and now! ”
Truthfully, she still didn’t know if she was meant to stay here with him, or if she would eventually be called away.
Her heart clenched at the thought. She wasn’t at all sure she could leave him.
Not now. She didn’t want to leave him. Surely he had enough strength to keep her by his side no matter who or what threatened to tear them apart.
This not knowing was beginning to tear her up inside.
At least she had this moment, he was here with her now, and she would take full advantage of every day she was allowed, just in case.
She wished she could speak to Malcolm; she had so many questions.
Why hadn’t they contacted her by now? What were they waiting for?
Did they not realize they had left her here with her hands tied?
Aye, of course they did. She would just have to be patient.
With her emotions boiling hot just below the surface, she lifted her face to his and kissed him.
Hard. She twined her fingers through his hair and pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss.
She would not live without him. I will find a way.
He growled at her sudden assault and kissed her back just as fervently, rolling to cover her body with his.
Her hips arched against his and she moved her mouth to sink her teeth into his neck.
He sucked in a breath and then groaned, suddenly thrusting into her with so much power that she cried out and wrapped her legs around his hips to contain it.
She bit him again on the other shoulder, and he pounded into her, hard and fast, taking, claiming.
At last he threw back his head, his whole body shuddering. “Oh God! Ella, mo cridhe.”
Ella slowly opened her eyes to see him looking down at her in utter amazement, just before he collapsed on top of her, carefully rolling them to one side so he wouldn’t crush her. He kissed her lips, her chin, her cheek. He pulled her closer and ran his fingers down her back, over her body.
He breathed softly in her ear, “I think perhaps I must keep you after all.”
“Yes. Please do.” She rolled toward him and cupped his cheek in her hand, running her thumb over the strong bones of his face.
“I like it here. You have a wonderful home. And your people are all so hard working and loyal and kind… tell me, how was it to grow up in such a place, what were you like as a boy?”
He blew out a derisive breath. “You make it sound like bloody Valhalla. And I was a boy like any other. Always up to mischief, always in trouble for it.”
“I imagine you kept your mother quite busy,”
“Aye, Ethan and I were forever underfoot, and we destroyed more than our share of her best furniture. She had the patience of a saint, truly.”
Ella smiled down at him. “I’m so glad you brought me here, Ceann. I would have it no other way.”
A cloud came over his eyes for a moment as he was reminded of his suspicions; of the chance he was taking in letting her in, just a little.
Part of him was still bracing for everything to blow up in his face.
Nothing this good could ever really last, could it?
Ella leaned in to place a soft kiss on his mouth, and he decided that hoping was worth it after all.
Chapter 15
In the next weeks, a tender trust began to grow between them, and Ceann felt a spark of happiness for the first time in as long as he could remember.
He held it carefully in his heart, too wary to let it grow.
There was still too much between them that was unsaid, unknown.
Ella was all he could have dreamed of, and more.
She was beautiful, yes, but that wasn’t the best thing about her.
She was also clever and kind and spirited, and courageous.
His ideal mate. In truth, he felt whole when she was with him.
But he still could not coax the truth from her, and the uncertainty gnawed at his gut.
He was afraid; afraid of losing her and afraid that he would do anything to keep her by his side.
And afraid that he would find out the worst, that having Ella for his own was a hopeless dream.
He steeled himself against the day he would discover her duplicity, sure it would all come crashing down on him.
It would have to. Nothing so perfect could last, at least not in his world.
And then came word of renewed MacDonald raids on his western lands. He would have to fight. A month ago, he would have welcomed the battle, but now… now he was strangely reluctant to go. He had found something that meant more to him than fighting.
Ella watched as the men readied for battle.
A fearsome lot they were, with their massive claymores slung over their backs.
Ceann had warned her to stay with her guard at all times; with luck he would return that night, or perhaps the next day, depending how far the MacDonalds had already gotten.
He took her breath away, mounted on his nervously prancing stallion, shouting orders to his men.
His arms could wield a heavy claymore as if it weighed nothing, and still hold her gently as he kissed her.
He did not say goodbye, did not look back at her before he rode out with his warriors.
In this way he made her status painfully clear: a lover, a mistress, nothing more.
She was not sure she could ever be happy with less than all of him.
God, she wanted to be everything to him, because he had become so to her.
She tried to replace the disappointment with determination, going off to pull weeds in the garden behind the kitchens.
The old, rather neglected garden had become her own project in the weeks she had been at Tulloch, and she was proud of how well it was growing under her care.
Carefully, she weeded and thinned the tiny seedlings and tried not to think about Ceann.
Would he have reached the marauding MacDonalds by now?
The clan was ambitious and power-hungry, bent on expanding their territory to the west, and conquering all that stood in their way.
Already they had toppled several less powerful chieftains.
They were bold and fearless to raid at the borders of Tulloch; everyone knew its strength.
Suddenly a strange feeling came over her; a slight buzzing in her ears, a soft graying at the edge of her sight.
She sat back on her heels and clutched at the ground, preparing for the vision that would come, unable to do anything else.
Ceann. She saw Ceann, on his black stallion.
A battle, shouts and the clash of metal.
Then it came, a blow from behind, while he fought off two MacDonald warriors at his side.
He fell, slowly, blood… Ethan’s face frozen in horror from a few lengths away… “No!”