Chapter 21 #13
Ceann groaned again and pulled his hands over his face.
“Ah, God.” Could this get any worse? Seamus was their very best scout; he could either talk or sneak his way into anywhere.
He did not doubt that he had found the document.
If his uncle knew about his one true mate, and kept it from him, it could only mean he was bent on betrayal.
He had taken Ella. She had been telling him the truth, and he hadn’t believed her.
She surely must hate him by now. How could she not?
“Ross seeks my ruin after all”, he said quietly. “He wants Tulloch for himself.”
Ethan nodded in agreement. “Aye, he has the parchment, or at least a copy of it. He knows that if you find your true mate, there will be an heir, and Hugh will not inherit the lairdship. Although, I suspect there is much more to all this than we know.” His expression turned grim.
“Ross and Hugh have fled. I sent out search parties while you were… away, but there has been no sign of them.”
“God, Ethan, he could have killed her. He could have taken everything I didn’t even know I had.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say you have it all yet… the lass is rather angry at you.”
Ceann sighed. “I know it. Please, Ethan, tell me where she is. I have to fix things before I go mad.”
He sounded so defeated that Ethan gave in.
“That night, I saw her leave the stables, not long after you did. She was crying, and she ran off into the woods. I didn’t want to see her hurt, so I followed.
She told me what had happened. I couldn’t believe you really meant it, Ceann, so I saw her safe for you.
I brought her to Iona’s cottage. She’s been well cared for there. ”
“She has been there all this time?”
“Aye.”
“There was never any other man waiting for her,” Ceann said softly, “And I sent her away from me, when she was mine all along.” He looked up suddenly.
The curse is broken. “I’m going to be a father, Ethan!
” he said as if truly realizing it for the first time.
“I never dared to believe such a thing was possible.” He felt his chest swell with the joy of it.
He would think about all that Ethan had just told him later.
Right now he had more important things to do.
Ethan scrunched up his face, looking doubtful. “Well, aye, you managed to get the lass with child alright, but winning back her favor is another matter all together.” He slapped him on the back. “You’ll be very lucky to keep your ballocks. I don’t envy you the coming battle, but I wish you luck.”
They rode fast and hard for the cottage.
All the way there Ceann wavered between elation and terror.
What if she refused him, despite his apologies?
What could he even say to her, to make things better?
What if she simply walked away with his heart and his child?
He could not blame her if she did, but he was quite sure it would kill him to lose her now.
***
Iona stood suddenly from where she was sewing by the window and smiled, clapping her hands together excitedly, anticipation lighting her face. “He’s finally coming for you! It took him long enough.”
Ella looked up. “Ceann? He’s coming here? Now?” Ethan, that scourge, he told him where I am! Her heart beat faster even as all of the anger and hurt of the last time she saw him came crashing back down on her. “I don’t want to see him. I’m not ready.”
Iona sat beside her, and placed two fingers on her fluttering pulse. “Your heart betrays your words, love.”
“Does he know about the child?”
“Aye, he knows”.
She heaved a breath. “Then that is why he comes here”, she said miserably. “He doesn’t want me, he wants his heir.”
Iona smoothed her hair. “I think you know that isn’t true. Do you not remember what was between you before there was a child?”
Yes, he lusted for her, and she for him. But he never wanted her for his own. He didn’t want any woman, any wife... had he changed his mind now, just because she carried his child?
She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Iona; I’m not usually so bad-tempered.”
Iona smiled, “Tis only the babe that makes you so, it means he’s strong and healthy.”
There was a thunderous pounding on the door then, and Ella jumped up from her seat, startled. Even though she knew exactly who it was.
Ceann had leaped from his horse and reached the cottage before Ethan could even dismount, and was hammering at the door with his fists, shouting for Ella.
Ethan sighed and shook his head. “Ceann! Do you really think they’re going to open the door to a madman?”
Ceann turned from the door. “Then what do you suggest?”
Ethan gave him a quelling look and went calmly up to the door. “Iona! Ceann is here and he wishes to speak with Ella.”
The door opened a crack, and Iona peered out. “Aye? Is he here to fix the mess he’s made then?”
Ceann groaned and ran his hands through his hair. ‘Mess’ was an understatement, if he’d ever heard one.
“Aye.”
The door opened, and Iona stepped aside.
Ethan gave him a little shove forward, with a whispered good luck.
As Ceann went in, Iona stepped outside with Ethan, closing the door firmly behind her.
Ethan grinned at her. “Do you think that’s wise, to leave them alone in there together?
I fear Ceann might be seriously injured, or worse. ”
Iona laughed. “And if he is, he will take his punishment, and gladly, I’m sure. Don’t worry; all will be well in the end.”
Ceann leaned against the closed door, staring at Ella, who looked back at him from where she stood across the room. She was even more beautiful than he had remembered, and he wanted more than anything to rush forward and hold her in his arms; but he dared not.
He took a step forward, then paused. Now that he had found her, he didn’t know what to say to her. Words just didn’t seem like enough. “Ella, I… I’m so sorry.”
She nodded. “I know.”
Ceann felt the spark of hope begin to grow. Maybe she didn’t hate him as much as he’d feared.
He took another tentative step toward her, but she held up her hand, stopping him. “I have to know, Ceann, why you’re here.”
“Why I’m here?” he asked, incredulous. “God Ella, how can you ask that! I never should have sent you away! I was blinded by my own insecurity and pain, and I couldn’t see what was right before me.
I saw deception where there was none. I’m sorry, Ella, mo cridhe.
I would do anything to make it up to you. ”
Ella shook her head slightly. “What I mean, is, who did you come for, me, or your babe? Would you have come after me at all if there were no child?”
“Aye… I want our child, of course I do, but it nearly killed me to let you go. I lost my mind for awhile; I left, wandered for days. If I’d have thought to bring any whiskey with me, I would have drowned myself in drink, because I couldn’t bear to think of the rest of my life without you in it, Ella, even though at the time I thought I was doing the honorable thing.
I have truly never felt such pain, nor do I ever wish to again.
When I finally came back, and Maggie told me, I…
damn… I’m not doing a very good job of this. ”
Ella turned back to face the window. She knew he was a proud man, a chief, a warrior, and it could not be easy for him to come to her like this.
He looked, in fact, more distraught than she could have imagined.
And he hadn’t been sleeping well, either, if the dark smudges under his blue-green eyes were any indication.
She knew, in truth had known all along, that she could not keep herself from him.
She was bound to him by something that defied explanation, something that was greater than each of them alone, and even now she could feel the irresistible pull of him from across the room, trying to draw her closer.
But she had a lot of pride too, and the wound he had inflicted on her heart was one from which she hadn’t expected to recover.
He turned to the side and began to pace, shoving his hands through his thick sable hair.
It fell back in wild disarray around his shoulders.
She watched him for a moment, marveling that such a man could belong to her.
For he did belong to her. She took in his handsome face with its wide, sensuous mouth and strong, masculine jaw.
Then her eyes lowered to the hard, muscular lines of his body, his broad chest and strong, lean legs.
And beneath his kilt… her breath hitched.
When he turned around again, she took a step closer, her arms crossed and her chin tilted up proudly.
He dared not even breathe, but his eyes beseeched her.
“Ella, you are my heart, and I will not lose you. Not ever or for any reason.” He took the last few steps to where she stood.
Taking a deep breath he put his hand gently on her stomach.
“Is it really true? The child is… mine?” He still could not quite believe it, not after so long thinking it impossible.
“Aye, you will have a son, or so Ethan says.” The joy she saw on his face made tears sting the back of her eyes. That she could be the one to give him such a gift…
Ceann saw her unshed tears, and reached to wipe one away as it escaped and rolled down her cheek.
As overjoyed as he was, he knew he could not expect her to feel the same about the bairn.
“I’m so sorry Ella.” He whispered. “I know this wasn’t…
expected. I truly didn’t think… I mean I never would have… had I known…”
“I know. I wanted… I wanted, too.”
He pulled her into his arms then, holding her close, breathing in her scent. His love, his mate. “We’ll be wed right away. I should have wed you months ago, it was what I truly wanted, but I thought…”
She would wed him, there was never any question. But she would not give in so easily. “You thought I was a spy. I understand why Ceann, I do. But I don’t know; I need more time to think. If I decide to wed you…”