9
O n Saturday morning, it was Conrad’s turn to go grocery shopping. Which meant it fell to him to drop MC off at the library for story hour. Not that she’d explained anything to him about her involvement in the event.
“Didn’t know you were such a library head,” he said, pulling out onto the street. Gabby had picked up the Destroyer of Worlds from the tire place the night before.
“Is that a term?” she said. “Library head?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s easy to concentrate in the study wing.”
He shuddered. “Mom made me do practice SATs there. Forced me to drink coffee, which I’d never had before. She even brought a stopwatch.”
MC laughed. “Why did she do that, anyway?”
“Because it’s a timed test?”
“No, why did she get so intense about making sure you practiced?”
“I have no idea. Every now and then she felt the need to exert her control over me, I guess.”
“I think she just had high expectations of you.”
Their mom hadn’t so much as checked MC’s grades, let alone invested herself in MC’s SAT scores. Neither had their dad. Then again, by MC’s senior year, Dr. Linda Case-Calloway was out in LA, leaving the whole family in a state of turmoil.
MC never wanted to live through drama like that again. She was pretty sure Conrad didn’t either.
“Can I ask you something?” she said.
“Sure.”
“I’m not trying to butt in or anything. But are things okay with you and Gabby?”
His shoulders bunched. “What makes you ask?”
“Just offhand comments. Nothing serious.”
“Must be serious enough for you to bring it up.”
“No. I just think of you guys as smooth sailing most of the time.”
“Well, that’s because you’re constantly projecting a fantasy onto me.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not perfect, MC.”
“I know that,” she said defensively. “Like, very well.”
“Sorry to be a dick right now, but I’m still trying to figure out why you’ve gone from mostly avoiding us to crashing with us without any warning.” He shot her a look. “And I know what Joe said about your writing or whatever, but as far as I can tell, you don’t seem too in the zone with that.”
She felt heat rushing to her cheeks. “Well, I haven’t been as focused as I’d hoped.”
“And why is that? Why are you really here?”
She could’ve pulled out the same excuse she’d used with Nora, allude to her breakup without going into detail.
Joe had even set her up for it with his little aside about the tough time she was having.
But she wasn’t ready to trust Conrad with anything resembling the truth—even if it was a convenient one.
“I’m working on a project, Conrad. Why is that so hard to believe?
Do you think you’re the only person with goals? ”
“I just pointed out how random this visit feels, and I’d rather you be honest with me than sneaking around, watching rom-coms with Gabby, and running Explorations meetings with my boss.”
“Your ‘boss’ came to the last thirty seconds of one meeting. And I’m not trying to do any of this stuff. I was asked to do it, pretty intensely.”
“Gabby asked you pretty intensely to watch How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days ?”
“Because she wanted you to watch How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days , but you were too busy being weird in the basement to realize. God.”
“Is she complaining to you about me?”
“She’s not complaining. She’s just lonely. She probably thinks I understand you and can better illuminate your brilliance for her.”
“I’m a vice principal, not a rocket scientist.”
“Are you fishing for compliments?”
“I’m trying to tell you that you seem to go out of your way to treat everyone like a human being except for me.”
“That’s not even true. Also, you’re my brother, it’s different. We can speak more freely.”
“Can we?” He pulled up at the library. “Good luck with the contemporary American Anna Karenina or whatever.”
“Thanks. And don’t worry about groceries or dinner for me. I’ll take a train back in a few hours, spare you my projections.”
“Whatever you wanna do.”
“I have a pretty important in-person meeting on Monday that I should prep for anyway.”
She was supposed to keep gathering info until tomorrow afternoon, but this conversation was a crucial reminder that she didn’t want to be here, that she’d kept Conrad at a distance because they’d always been terrible at talking to each other.
They could do stupid jokes or surface-level back-and-forth. Or bickering, clearly. That was it.
“Right,” her brother said. “See you whenever you feel like dropping in again, I guess.”
She got out in a huff, hoping he would roll down the window or push the door open and tell her to get back in so they didn’t have to leave things on such a sour note.
But in true Calloway fashion, he sped off.
She remembered her dad dumping her at school one morning just the same way.
She’d asked to borrow the car for a weekend camping trip with Joe and Gabby.
After he’d said no, the discussion had devolved into her grumpily pointing out that he barely left the couch, so why did he need the car?
He hadn’t even yelled at her. Just asked her to get out, then drove away.
A crow squawked somewhere in the trees on the far side of the parking lot. She tried to shake off her brother’s words. But it was hard. Tears welled in her eyes.
She looked at her phone.
She was late.
“There she is,” Lois announced when MC walked in. “Showtime.”
“Let’s get this over with,” Nora said, standing up from her desk and coming around to the lobby. She was wearing tall leather boots and a long black button-down. MC’s heart, which was already thudding from her argument with Conrad, began to beat even harder.
Nora frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Totally. Ready for Pooh Power Hour.” MC blinked rapidly, all too aware of how obvious it was that she was on the verge of crying.
She remembered seeing Nora in a similar state once, her eyes puffy when they’d met to pick up a proof from the print shop on a sunny Friday before school.
MC had stopped at Green Hills’ lone coffee shop on the way, grabbing hot chocolates for them both and a pastry for herself.
Try this apple turnover, MC had said, lifting a greasy paper bag.
Nora had looked away, her arms crossed. I hate apples.
It’s more about the cinnamon sugar.
What?
They skimp on the fruit. It’s pretty much just for texture.
Nora kept her arms crossed as she leaned over and took a bite.
Wow. MC had laughed. It’s like feeding a tiger at the zoo. Awe, fear, majesty.
For once, Nora had smiled back. This, she said, tastes like a heart attack.
The figurative kind, where all the world seizes you with its beauty?
The real kind. As in heart failure caused by lard.
Whatever, more for me. MC had cleared her throat and added, Everything okay?
Yeah. Nora paused, like she knew she shouldn’t go on but also couldn’t stop herself. Just got a rejection letter from my top-choice school.
What? That’s so dumb of them.
I think I’m the dumb one in this scenario.
I guarantee you’re not.
How could you possibly guarantee that?
You’re a genius.
Nora gave her a rueful look. A genius would’ve made sure to do more than one extracurricular activity. Or, like, get better grades.
I regret to inform you that geniuses don’t do a bunch of extracurriculars.
If only you were in admissions.
I mean, I’d definitely give you a full ride.
Nora had stared at her for a second, then burst out laughing.
“Where’s Maureen?” MC asked now, looking away from Nora and rubbing the back of her neck.
“Home sick,” Nora said, “with whatever Darryl has.” She leaned in and whispered, “Meaning she’s a motherfucking liar.”
MC smiled.
Nora whisked them toward a door in the back just as the first families were starting to arrive. Among the desks was a cardboard box overflowing with discolored rags.
Nora stared at it and said, “Your big dream is about to come true.”
MC forgot her tears in an instant. “My dream smells like pee.”
“And corn chips.” Nora gave her an up-and-down. “Did you bring a change of clothes?”
MC ran a hand over the front of her perfectly white T-shirt. “No.”
“Oh well.” Nora walked over to the box and reached in.
A garment sewn with concentric wire hoops went over MC’s head, its straps resting on her shoulders.
It hung like a lampshade. Next came the main portion of the suit—the bulk of the yellow-brown pile in the box.
MC tried to bend over to put it on, but the hoops were prohibitive.
She got her legs through, only to get stuck at the torso.
Nora stepped closer. “Stick your arms out in front of you.”
MC obeyed, and Nora slid the sleeves on. Then she shimmied the rest of the suit up onto MC’s shoulders. MC tried to help by wiggling.
“Stay still,” Nora grumbled.
MC straightened as Nora walked behind her and started on the zipper. Which got caught halfway. Nora tugged on it—hard—to no avail.
“The zipper’s stuck.”
“Maybe it’s a sign.”
“Too late for those.”
“I don’t want to get, like, an infection—”
The zipper finally regained its track, enclosing her.
“Okay,” Nora said, “shoe covers.”
MC heard the growing chatter of children in the lobby.
“Left foot first,” Nora said, bending down in front of her. As Nora slipped on the fuzzy covering, MC tried to keep herself steady.
“Right foot,” Nora said, and put the other covering on over MC’s sneaker.
“Now the shirt.” Nora had gotten a little breathless. “Wow, this thing reeks.” She unfolded a giant red T-shirt, which had been jaggedly cut off several inches above the waist, and held it up for MC to duck her head into. After that was on, there was only one piece left.
They both looked at the scuffed monstrosity on the windowsill. Half of a black plastic eye was cracked off.
There was no nose.
“There’s no nose,” MC said.
“I can use a Sharpie to fill it in.”
MC swallowed, then put the head on.
She was already sweating. But with the costume complete, her body’s attempts to cool itself went into overdrive, drenching her. The pads of the helmetlike contraption on her head made her scalp itch. She was pretty sure she was going to get lice. Or die. Get lice, then die.
“How bad is it in there?” Nora asked. Her voice sounded muffled.
MC tried to move her head, but it wobbled violently, making her dizzy.
“I can’t really see.” The open maw of the creature was covered by a thin black fabric through which MC could make out only the vaguest outlines.
A copy machine. Nora’s silhouette. “I think there’s a chin strap.
” She reached into the head with her gloved hands, but it was hard to get a decent grip.
“Let me do it,” Nora said. Her touch was cool and gentle. Her fingers slid up either side of MC’s jaw, searching for the straps. MC cleared her throat, disturbed to find she was getting turned on.
Nora said, “I’m not going to pinch your neck, am I?”
“All clear.” But MC clenched her teeth as the clasp clicked into place. “Okay.” Nora held MC’s hand. “Don’t let go of me.”
They walked out into the crowd.
“Look who’s here!” Lois announced.
And then the sobbing began.
“It’s okay!” someone cooed. “It’s just a costume!”
“Pick me up!” a child wailed.
“Mommy, what is it?”
MC did a wobbly side-to-side sway, waving to what she hoped were children but could easily have been the middle distance.
“Why does he look so dirty?”
“Where’s his nose?”
Lois shouted that it was time to go sit on the carpet.
“Uh-oh!” Nora said, louder than MC had ever heard her speak. “You know what, guys?” The mock sadness in her voice was so ridiculous, MC couldn’t imagine it would be effective, but it earned a moment of quiet. “I think Pooh is a little sleepy! Pooh, should I bring you back to your house for a nap?”
MC gasped. “Only if I can have honey in bed...”
The crying resumed.
“Come on, Pooh,” Nora said, “you really need some help.”
She tugged on MC’s hand, leading her back to where the whole mess had started.
As the sounds of distress faded behind them, MC peeled off her gloves and scrambled to undo her chin strap. She took the head off and threw it on the ground, then doubled over. She was unable to clutch her stomach on account of the hoops.
“Do not vomit,” Nora said. “If you vomit, I will vomit.”
“Not gonna vomit,” MC panted. But her head was spinning.
Nora ripped MC’s belly shirt over her head, tugged down her sleeves, and unstrapped the wire contraption. “Put your hands on my shoulders,” she commanded.
MC was going to pass out.
But before she did, she braced herself on Nora, and Nora yanked the rest of the suit down, bringing a rush of cool air over MC’s sweat-soaked body.
“Thank god,” MC breathed.
“Now let go of me.”
MC didn’t want to.
“I have to go read the damn book,” Nora said, sliding her hands up MC’s hips and squeezing—just for a moment—before laughing and turning away.