Chapter 26 #2
‘There’s no way Matteo is cheating on me with Birdie. It’ll be clickbait,’ I snap, grabbing my phone back. ‘Come on. We have a job to do.’
* * *
Jorge starts the engine and turns the music up loud.
Smooth ballads waft from the speakers to complement the low mood.
Tash sits, staring out of the window on one side, while Cherry sits at the opposite end doing the same.
Both probably thinking of the small lives they are potentially creating within their hungover, booze-addled bodies.
Liberty is uncharacteristically chewing on her talons and checking her phone constantly.
Big Sue and Big Mand keep whispering to each other and occasionally nodding towards each of the girls.
The ambience is nothing short of glum as we hurtle through the army of cyclists enjoying their new cycle path in the centre of the main road in Benidorm.
There’s a lot of beeping and screeching of brakes going on.
By the time we arrive, there’s a clear need for some leadership and a pep talk.
As the headline act, I feel the responsibility lies with me.
But Liberty beats me to it as we stand at the entrance.
‘Come on, girls. I know we’re all in a difficult place right now, but let’s bring our A game.
This is Benidorm Palace. The crème de la crème of forced entertainment.
The crowd are literally trapped in there for four hours, and it’s our job to make at least seventy minutes of it bearable.
Let’s go in there and knock it out of the park. ’
We take a moment to consider this. It seems Liberty has never before tried to chivvy the Dollz on, by the confused looks they are giving her. Liberty is fussing around, making sure everyone knows what they are doing and insisting on a quick soundcheck, which is very out of character.
‘We don’t need a soundcheck,’ moans Big Mand. ‘I’m going to stay outside for a vape.’
‘But I’ve already told them that we are doing it,’ says Liberty, putting a hand on her hip.
I suppose it’s sweet that she is trying to earn their forgiveness. She has been a pain in the neck since we arrived.
‘Okay,’ booms Big Sue. ‘Liberty, pet, want to tell us what is really going on?’
Liberty peers down at her high, strappy sandals and pretends to smooth down her pleather minidress. She looks spectacular. I take in her showstopping, limelight-stealing, outrageously skimpy outfit. I’m not the only one admiring what she has done with her hair and make-up.
‘Are those my hold-up Lycra stockings?’ asks Tash.
Liberty reaches down and slowly adjusts one of the stocking tops. They somehow make her shiny legs seem even longer. ‘No.’
Tash screws her eyes. ‘And that’s my lip gloss. The mega-plumper in Violent Rouge. I’ve been looking everywhere for it.’
‘So what?’ Liberty says, pouting back.
‘Don’t start,’ booms Big Sue. ‘Let’s just get the fuck on with it. But as soon as we’ve finished, Liberty, you have some explaining to do.’
We troop into Benidorm Palace, barely speaking, like a group of disappointed schoolkids on a day trip to Butterfly World.
While the organisers are falling over themselves to accommodate a group rehearsal, I take a moment to pluck up the courage to leave a WhatsApp voice note for Matteo to tell him I’ve seen the news headlines.
I’m going to tell him that I am fully understanding, and that he is not to worry one little bit, because I’m not the sort to believe salacious gossip.
After all, it would be a bit rich coming from the woman who, only last week, was splashed over the UK tabloids as the Norwegian Count’s bit of rough.
I find a quiet space away from the Dollz doing their soundcheck on stage, but just as I take out my phone, Matteo FaceTimes me. I accept the call and hold the phone up to a flattering angle.
‘Oh wow,’ he says, his eyes mushrooming.
I blush instantly.
‘Good luck for tonight,’ he says, realising where I am. ‘I’m just calling to explain… in case you saw, erm, some news about…’
‘It’s okay. I understand.’ We smile goofily at one another. ‘I had the same issues last week in the tabloids. It’s all rubbish. Comes with the territory, I suppose.’
Pah! Like we’re minor celebrities!
He sighs with relief and gives me another incredulous look. ‘I thought you’d be angry or upset, but anyway, it’s good to see you again.’ His eyes sparkle, and his whole face is lit up. He totally has the hots for me.
‘How long have you got?’ I ask.
‘A few minutes.’
I come over all Dollz-like and daring. I’m going to execute what the Dollz frequently call their Hot Garbage routine.
Apparently, it never fails. After a quick peek around to make sure no one is watching, I smile in a flirty way.
‘How do you like my outfit?’ I tilt the phone and trail it slowly down to my cleavage, which is squashed into the world’s tightest spandex dress.
Down over my flat, bare stomach to my legs.
I perch the phone on a nearby table while I place my high-heeled sandal provocatively on the chair and run my hand the length of my stocking, just like in my Birdie nightmares.
The phone is pointing straight up my skirt to give Matteo a tantalising glimpse of the goods.
I slip my finger into the suspender strap at the top of my stocking before snapping it back into place French floozy-style.
I drag the phone sexily back up to my face.
Matteo’s jaw is hanging open. But not in a good way.
I peer at the screen. Something feels odd. There’s an arm over his shoulder and some salmon-pink hair hanging down.
Oh my God. I instantly bristle. He’s not alone.
I hide my surprise as Birdie’s beautiful, large, turquoise-blue eyes, slender nose, and full lips come into view. ‘You must be Connie,’ she says in an utterly charming French accent.
‘I, erm, well…’ I stammer. Why didn’t Matteo tell me we weren’t alone? Wouldn’t you start with that?
‘Good to meet you at last,’ says Birdie with a laugh, coming back into view, cool pink hair piled messily up on her head. ‘Great legs.’
I feel my face flame.
‘I guess you need to get some air to yourself,’ she says. ‘Rubber skirts? Am I right?’
I close my eyes and pray for an early death. But when I open them a second later, she’s still there smiling at me. She has perfect teeth and a smile twice as wide as any normal human woman.
I hear Matteo clear his throat as he muscles back into the shot. I notice Birdie leaves her arm draped over him. ‘Sorry. She snuck up on me while you were… doing the tour of the outfit,’ he says. I must look shell-shocked. ‘So, we have to go. But it was great to see you.’
He sounds all brisk and formal. I am mortified. There’s no mention of my sexy leg stroking. Why? Why did I do it?
‘Matty told me you were very talented, but he didn’t tell me how gorgeous you are,’ she says, licking her lips playfully. ‘He’d better watch out. I’m an insufferable sapiosexual.’
I have no idea what she means but she appears to be flirting with me. Matteo shoves her out of the way, rolls his eyes and gives me an embarrassed look before I am cut off and the screen goes blank.
I have never felt so disheartened. Just in time for rehearsals.
* * *
An hour later, we are standing backstage. Big Sue and Big Mand have become leading authorities on different types of sexuality.
‘She’s attracted to brains and talent,’ Big Sue is explaining. ‘She doesn’t care for gender. She’s after you for your looks and your mind.’
‘Oh. And I suppose, therefore, she could be after Matteo for his enormous brain too?’ I say, feeling disheartened.
Big Mand laughs. ‘I’m not sure it’s his enormous brain she’s after.’
This causes a ripple of laughter from the Dollz.
‘Don’t worry, Connie, pet. French women might have all the sex appeal, but they have no sense of humour, and they all have flat chests,’ Tash says knowingly to the nodding heads around her.
‘And we will show you how to weaponise your sexuality in time for Vegas,’ offers Big Mand.
‘Enough of that, let’s get out there and show Benidorm Palace how lucky they are to have us,’ says Liberty, hurrying everyone along.
I put all thoughts of what’s not going on between Matteo and Birdie right out of my mind and peek through the stage curtain to see Ged and Liam right at the front of the audience at a table set for two.
They look a worrying shade of burnt orange.
I bite my lips to refrain from laughing.
I’d best get it over with now, otherwise they’ll have a hissy fit if any of us pretend not to notice.
‘What? Who have you seen?’ Liberty says, grabbing the curtain and peering out across the crowd. ‘Fuck me.’ She fixes us with wide eyes. ‘Ged and Liam have gone the colour of turmeric.’ She bursts out laughing. ‘They’ll be the only yellow Kens in Vegas.’
The Dollz take turns to peer at them.
‘Shit the fucking bed,’ whispers Tash. ‘That’s so bad.’
‘They look severely jaundiced. I’m surprised no one has called the emergency doctor. They need some vitamin K.’ Big Mand puts a fist to her mouth. ‘K for Kenergy. Get it? Kenergy.’
We all stifle our giggles in case they can hear us. It’s the first time we have shared a laugh since we got here. It feels nice. And I’m sure I’ll be able to find something to rub the rest of that tan off with.
‘Group hug,’ Big Sue commands as we all gather together. ‘Let’s give them a show they’ll never forget.’
Finally, we all seem to be in the right headspace. It’s showtime.
It isn’t until halfway through their set that the first hiccup occurs.
I’m busy watching the Dollz from the side of the stage.
They are nailing the complex choreography.
They look and sound amazing. The crowd is joining in with every song and watching their every move.
Then Liberty, who has been on fire since we arrived, belts out the midpoint banger as though she is Mariah Carey circa 1994 and makes the mistake of pointing into the crowd.
I see the rest of the Dollz follow her gaze, and one by one their faces drop.
I crane my neck around to see who has caught her attention.
If I know Liberty, it will be a man. A very attractive man. I skim the crowd and spot the back of someone tall sitting down. Staff are fussing over him, and they have given him a whole table to himself. He looks up and smiles back at Liberty. I’d know that profile anywhere.
It’s Luke.
Shitting, shitting hell.