Chapter 15
We are all herded out of the area. Although it seems like forever, the fire is put out in just a few minutes, and the fuss dies down.
A quick glance back to the main deck reveals Matteo busy ordering people around, yelling instructions and masterfully trying to contain the crowds of revellers keen to get back to partying.
He seems annoyed at the rumpus we have caused.
My face is aflame with embarrassment.
‘What about my shoe?’ Tash asks.
‘Exactly. Where there’s blame there’s a claim!’ agrees Cherry. ‘I think I’m a little traumatised by this. PTSD, it’s called. I’ll sue whoever is in charge. I’m not a paralegal for nothing.’
Just as I’m hoping Matteo can’t hear her, his head spins around to give us all a withering look.
‘Let’s give him some space,’ I suggest, shepherding the girls further outside onto the deck.
There’s much moaning about stilettos being caught in the decking as we are joined by a throng of partygoers also being herded outside.
‘And what about the free bubbles?’ Tash wails. ‘Do you think they’ll bring the drinks out to us?’
Hundreds of people pour out of the entrance, bumping against us in their hurry to evacuate, pinning us to the railings. I hear a shriek come from the middle of our group, followed by a huge splash.
‘What was that?’ I ask.
There’s a faint gurgling sound as we peer over the side of the gangplank into the water six feet below. A bread bun pops to the surface followed by a handbag.
Jesus Christ.
‘Head count!’ booms Big Sue, towering above us to take charge. ‘Head count right now!’
The girls start to bicker about who it might be and whose fault it was.
‘Wait. Where’s Cherry?’ Big Mand yells.
‘Quick! What’s the Spanish for lifeguard?’ Big Sue bellows.
They all turn to stare at me.
Shite!
‘Lifeguard! Spanish! Think , Connie, think!’ yells Big Sue.
‘It’s, erm… well, erm…’
It’s no use. My mind is a complete blank.
‘Use your A level Spanish, hun! Your A level Spanish!’
Oh my fucking word.
‘You’ve done nothing but go on and on about it since we got here!’
I have no idea. My mind is blank. I cast my eyes about to see if there are any lifeguards around, but all I see is the crowd chatting and vaping without a clue that one of the Dollz has fallen overboard. Without thinking, I kick off my shoes, hop up onto the railing and jump in.
I free-fall for what seems like an eternity before I crash into the sea, plunging down just like the cliff diving yesterday but with none of the fun. I sputter to the surface to get my bearings.
‘Here, Connie!’ screams Tash, frantically grabbing at a nearby arch of golden balloons. She rips a bunch of them away and thrusts them down to me. ‘Catch!’
We watch them bob around on the breeze, before they fly efficiently away, up, up, up into the night sky.
Undeterred, she spins around. The Dollz, following her lead, immediately leap into action, scooping up anything close at hand that might help – some flippers, a champagne flute, a tray of canapés and someone’s beach towel.
Tash throws them all down to me while a crowd of expectant faces leans over the handrail to watch them float away before disappearing beneath the water.
Pointless. Utterly pointless.
Thanks to my cliff diving, I’ve become something of a Navy SEAL, and I dive under. The water is much darker and colder away from the lights of the yacht. I resurface to gasp some air and dive back under. I can’t see a thing. On my next go, I glance about.
‘Connie! Behind you! Two o’clock!’ bellows Big Sue.
Another bread bun floats to the surface a few feet from me with some air bubbles. Within seconds, I’ve located Cherry and hauled her up to the surface, coughing and spluttering. The security team have galvanised at the sound of the girls shrieking and have thrown us an assortment of inflated rings.
I grab on to the nearest ring for support and pull Cherry towards it. When she has tight hold of it, I reach out for another ring and guide Cherry to the dock wall, which is only a few feet away.
‘Don’t forget her bag,’ yells Big Sue.
I spot it glistening on the surface, just about to sink. ‘Okay,’ I yelp, swimming towards it.
‘And the chicken fillets if you can, babes. She borrowed them from me!’ Liberty shouts down.
I see them floating nearby.
‘And that hairpiece. That’s mine,’ yells Big Mand. ‘Over there, Connie. Quick, grab it before it disappears.’
FFS.
There’s a metal ladder bolted to the wall, which we attempt to climb while trying to manage the bag, the buns, the hairpiece, and the enormous safety rings at the same time.
It’s easier said than done and makes a real climb of shame out of it as Cherry, a few rungs above me and still wearing very high-heeled slingbacks, slips a few times, almost sending us hurtling back into the sea.
There’s a huge gasp each time from the girls, which does nothing to help but seems to amuse the gathering crowd.
‘Mind you don’t break your nails, love,’ yells Liberty. ‘Or your heels. Or your neck.’
When we reach the top, Matteo is standing there, ready to lift us up, with a look of disbelief on his face. Once Cherry is safely standing on two legs, he reaches for my hand. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m not doing this on purpose,’ I say as he puts an arm around me once I’m up. ‘I’m really not.’
‘It’s like there’s a huge drama everywhere you go,’ he says with an incredulous tone, taking the ring, the soaking wet bag, the straggly hairpiece and the fillets from me. I cringe. He’s not wrong.
Cherry sputters beside us. ‘Thanks, you two.’
I take in the thick black streaks of make-up running down Cherry’s face, her hair strewn all over, her skimpy clothes riding high up her waist, and I assume that I must be pretty much in the same bedraggled state.
Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. I yank my dress back down and remove a glob of seaweed from my shoulder as Matteo returns the bag and chicken fillets to Cherry. She gives me a grateful smile.
‘Eeh, I must learn to swim at some point.’
By now, we have attracted a huge audience, and they have all seen fit to capture it on film. I am mortified .
‘Well, I better go back in,’ Matteo says formally. ‘The security guards will want to assess the damage before the event can continue.’
I pick up my shoes, feeling overwhelmingly deflated. That’s two nights on the trot the Dollz and I have ruined his gigs. Not to mention the first night when he had to stay and keep me company and make sure I didn’t die from concussion.
He must surely have had enough of us getting in the way of his work. That passionate and unforgettable kiss we shared is probably a distant memory already.
‘Bye then,’ I say, watching him leave. ‘And sorry again.’
He doesn’t even acknowledge me as people rush at him from all directions, bellowing hysterically in Spanish and carrying on as though there’s been a major threat to national security.
A blare of sirens announces the arrival of a squad of cars screeching to a halt on the dock.
Dozens of Guardia, the national police and two trucks of firemen spill out, ready to charge onto the boat and determine the exact cause of the fire, probably for blaming and insurance claim purposes.
I groan loudly.
What did I say about being jailed for something the Dollz have done?
Despite my best efforts to remain calm, the weight of what just happened falls heavily on my shoulders as a wave of disappointment envelops me.
It’s a new low of professionalism. I swiftly weave in and out of the crowd, away from the yacht. Away from the Dollz.
‘Connie, wait up!’ yells Big Sue.
The Dollz are clambering down the plank after me.
I hesitate, taking in their serious expressions.
The girls are probably distraught at the chaos they have caused.
They’ll be petrified of going to jail. Probably wanting me to represent them in a court of law with my A level Spanish.
I studied long and hard for that prestigious qualification.
Therefore, I should be able to explain to the judge, should he ask, what our hobbies are, what our favourite lessons at school were and how many pets we have between us.
But outside of that, very little. They will be disappointed.
I wait for them to catch me up. They may be looking to me for comfort and reassurance. I will do my best.
They crowd round me, linking my arms.
‘All that smoke has put us in the mood for some barbequed chicken,’ says Big Mand. ‘Fancy something to eat?’
I take a beat to eye each of them in turn. They were unbelievably late for their headline performance. They almost set fire to a yacht worth millions. Cherry almost drowned in front of our eyes. How can they contemplate leaving the scene of the crime like this?
I glance back, but I can’t see Matteo anywhere. I run my hands down my wet dress and pick off the kelp stuck to my filthy, streaked legs.
‘Sure, why not?’
Once we get to the beach on the north side of the Old Town, it takes us only twenty minutes to walk its full length with our dresses hitched up and our shoes clenched in each hand.
The twinkling lights of the beach bars light our way back up on to the promenade and we cross the road in bare feet.
As I walk along, I think about Matteo. I only met him a few days ago, and already I feel like we have shared a whole relationship on the one hand, but that he is still a complete stranger to me on the other.
My heart sinks. I can’t believe this is how my holiday romance ends. As quickly as it began. With me spoiling it and embarrassing him. He’ll want nothing to do with me after this.
‘Hopefully it’ll blow over, and Nancy won’t get to hear of it,’ says Big Sue. ‘We’ll all be for the chop if she does.’
‘Ooh, look,’ says Liberty. ‘We’re trending on Twitter.’