Chapter 3
As soon as the plane lands on the tarmac and comes to a stop, the Dollz pile through the curtain full of excitement.
‘What’s going on?’ I am flabbergasted. Surely first class is not so amazing an experience that it has the power to reverse their collective mountain of bitterness, regret and resentment in a single journey? But apparently so.
‘Oh, my God,’ announces Tash, reaching up to retrieve her bag from the overhead bins. ‘That was so good.’
‘Unbelievable,’ agrees Liberty. ‘Best experience ever.’
‘I feel 100 per cent recharged,’ adds Cherry.
Even Big Mand and Big Sue appear relaxed and refreshed. They are smiling. They keep looking at one another and giggling.
‘Who would have thought it possible?’ says Big Mand with an incredulous air.
Big Sue beams at her. ‘I think that was the best thing I’ve ever seen.’
‘What’s going on?’ Liam asks me. ‘They look so… so…’
‘Rejuvenated. Glowing. Peaceful,’ Ged finishes for him.
I search their faces. Every single Doll has a dreamy glint in her eyes. Tash gives me a wide smile and sighs happily. ‘Better than anything.’
‘What? What is better than anything?’ Liam demands. He and Ged are sick with envy at them all disappearing into first class, and this is not helping.
The Dollz stop dragging bags from the overhead lockers to gaze at one another.
Still dressed in the mismatched Barbie and Ken outfits, with wild hair and running make-up, they are an incredible sight.
They lift their arms and make a love heart sign with their hands to each other before yelling, ‘Swifties forever!’
‘We’ve just watched the whole of The Eras Tour,’ gushes Liberty. ‘It was fucking incredible.’
‘Insane,’ adds Big Mand. ‘Mind-blowing.’
‘So incredibly life-affirming and real. She makes you want to be more,’ says Big Sue. ‘To be brave, adventurous, risk-taking. Just more, you know?’
‘And whatever else happens, you are strong enough to deal with it,’ says Cherry, sounding much more like herself. ‘I am so cutting a leg out of all of our bodysuits. It’s such a strong look. And sequins. We need loads more of them. I am definitely in my sequin era right now.’
‘Oh,’ I say, taken aback. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed it so much.
’ I inspect their eyes for signs of intoxication, but they all seem genuinely high on life.
High on Taylor Swift magic. I make a mental note to watch The Eras Tour on the way back instead of getting stuck down an Instagram rabbit hole of watching people fold clothes.
(It’s simply hypnotising. Unbelievable to think I’ve been folding my own clothes wrongly all these years.)
Ged and Liam seem delighted that this high-octane, vibrant mood has nothing to do with being in first class and immediately start to feed off the positive energy.
Sister Kevin is the first to jump up to help Tash with her bags. ‘Sorry, babe. Whatever I said or did, I’m sorry.’ He has no clue what he has done but it doesn’t appear to matter. Tash plonks a kiss on his lips, radiating charm.
‘Me too. I can get a little sensitive around booze and how little others drink of it. But don’t worry, I’m in my forgiveness era.’
At least for now, it seems as though we can disembark as a relatively happy group. While I’m packing away my phone and travel pillow, I make eye contact with Liberty. She regards me for a moment before coming over.
‘He’s on board,’ she says simply. ‘I tried to warn him off, but he wouldn’t listen.
He says he had no idea you were coming to Las Vegas and that he’s here for work and it’s just a coincidence.
I mean, who would believe that? I think he’s going to be trouble.
’ She must see my face drop. ‘But don’t worry.
We’ve got your back, hun. Isn’t that right, lasses?
’ While the Dollz shout a variety of agreements, she nods to the curtain.
‘And sorry I’ve been such a pain but I’m totally over it now.
Besides, I’m after a billionaire cowboy with a moustache and a very large Stetson.
And by Stetson, I mean…’ She winks at me. ‘Yeehaw, baby!’
I stare back at her. She is a veritable force of nature. Strong and powerful and beautiful, and she does not care a hoot what anyone thinks of her. ‘Thank you,’ I say, a little awestruck. ‘That means a lot.’
Liberty embraces me and turns to the boys. ‘We are going to have the best freakin’ time of our lives!’
Ged and Liam instantly dish out the hugs. Even Cherry allows them close. When they approach Big Mand and Big Sue, there’s an awkward moment. A lump forms in my throat as I see an expression of deep remorse cross the faces of my best friends. They didn’t mean to out them. They really didn’t.
Big Sue takes in a sharp breath. ‘I knew this day might come. It’s happened sooner than I’d have liked but…
’ Big Mand takes her hand. ‘Taylor has helped us see that if we aren’t being our authentic selves…
if we present a version of ourselves to the world that isn’t us…
then we’re not really living in the moment. ’
‘We’re not allowing ourselves to enjoy life as it could be, because it’s all premeditated and fake.’ Big Mand is gazing up at Big Sue with a loving expression.
‘We are still so, so sorry though,’ says Liam, his voice catching. ‘It was unintentional, and we had no idea that you weren’t a couple. You just seem so into each other. Can you ever forgive us?’
We take a beat.
‘We are officially in our couple era,’ says Big Mand. She goes bright red as we all cheer loudly and start another round of hugging as disembarking passengers try to squeeze past us. Liam has burst into tears again and Ged is comforting him.
The flight attendant from earlier races over to see what the hullabaloo is.
‘For the love of God, please get off this plane. I’ve never known a group of friends cause so much drama.
’ He is smiling from ear to ear. ‘Tell you what, lovies. I’ll try to upgrade you all for the return journey if you’ll just go now, so we can turn the plane around for the next lot of passengers. How does that sound?’
More whooping and thankful cheering occurs.
In that split second, I swear I see a flash of Luke’s hair and immediately bristle.
Why has he come? Why does he think these grand gestures will work?
I search the crowd being herded towards the exit and we make immediate eye contact.
Luke tries to battle against the flow of passengers, to head in my direction, but the cabin crew block his path.
With a worried frown, he disappears through the door along with the last of the passengers.
‘Let’s go, everyone,’ barks Big Sue. ‘We have a pre-moon to celebrate.’
Ged and Liam are bursting with joy.
‘And a BIG birthday to celebrate,’ booms Sister Kevin. ‘Whose birthday is it, again?’
Tash yanks him out through the door of the aircraft before we can interrogate him further.
I take a deep breath in. Matteo, here I come. This is one problem that Taylor Swift can’t solve for me.
* * *
It seems like it takes forever to get off the plane, down the tunnel and through to the terminal before our phones will work.
The mood has suddenly shifted to ‘Let’s celebrate big time’.
Liberty, Big Sue, Big Mand and Cherry are doing a conga up and down the corridor towards passport control, even though the armed border control guards are not loving the display.
They put a stop to proceedings when Liberty starts kicking her height and flashing too much flesh.
As we approach the massive queue for passport control, I take the opportunity to check myself over in the nearby toilets.
My hands start to shake slightly as I apply lip gloss and attempt to poke my wig back into some sort of ponytail shape.
I wish I’d thought to bring some make-up to swish on my face to give me courage.
I close my eyes for a brief second to wonder how cross Matteo might be with me.
He might decide I am simply not worth all this hassle.
I look down at my ill-fitting Barbie dress and wonder for the billionth time why we didn’t swap outfits before we set off from Benidorm.
I spot the group in the queue and approach with caution. They are in incredibly high spirits. Tash is making sure none of us get anywhere near Sister Kevin to interrogate him by keeping his lips busy. We watch as she ugly snogs him, sliding her mouth back and forwards and round and round on his.
Finally, we are standing in line at passport control.
They beckon our group through a separate cubicle where there are more staff than at any other cubicle.
They look us up and down. With a tip of the head and a neat hand gesture, they suggest the removal of our pink Stetson hats and deeley boppers.
They indicate that we must remove our wigs. They huddle in a group whispering.
‘What brings you to Nevada?’ an armed officer asks brusquely.
He is startled by an almighty gasp from Tash, followed by a quick explanation from Sister Kevin to reassure her that we didn’t fly to the wrong country.
‘Who is in charge of this group?’
I find myself being shoved forward. It’s like history repeating itself.
‘Bachelorette, I presume?’ he asks in a disappointed tone.
‘No,’ I say quickly.
‘OnlyFans?’ He frowns, eyeing our costumes and wigs. ‘Or some kind of clown cabaret?’
‘Yes,’ I answer quickly. ‘No. I mean we’re on a pre-moon spree.’
‘What exactly is that, ma’am?’
‘It’s, well, it’s like a stag do…’ I hear Ged and Liam sharply inhale. ‘But much better. More sophisticated. More elegant in terms of premarital celebrations.’
The guards look us over once more with a sceptical eye, shaking their heads unconvincingly. ‘Then why are these two men yellow?’
Ged swallows and points to Liam. ‘It’s his fault.’
‘No. It was TikTok’s fault,’ says Liam sourly.
The guard shakes his head again.
‘And we’re here for work,’ adds Liberty, pointing to the Dollz. ‘We’re professional singers.’