Chapter 10 #2
After coffee and a pastry, Matteo makes an excuse to leave.
He is going off to organise our nuptials.
He is going to tell the hotel wedding organisers that we are simply ‘rehearsing’, ready for the real thing.
We need everything except the official marriage certificate.
I’m still in awe of how easy it all sounds.
A shiver of excitement runs up my spine at the thought of fake-marrying Matteo.
Of wearing a wedding dress. Of him taking my hand and saying lovely things.
Of me gazing into his dark chocolate-coloured eyes and declaring undying love and devotion because, secretly, that is how I feel about him.
It sounds ridiculous to fall so hard so quick, but it’s the truth.
‘So, guys,’ I say, snapping back to reality.
‘I’ve posted a new itinerary to the group chat.
Basically, today is all about zip-lining for everyone, followed by poolside cabanas for Ged and Liam and Sister Kevin, while we’re doing a soundcheck and getting ready.
We do the show from 6 p.m. until 7.30 p.m. Dinner at 8 p.m. Maybe a nightclub at 10 p.m. for dancing and cock—’
‘Speaking of cock,’ interrupts Tash. ‘What are you going to do about Luke at midnight?’
Good question.
‘I’m not sure. I can’t turn up because he’ll think I’m interested. I don’t want to hurt him because we have to maintain some sort of working relationship afterwards, but what else can I do?’
It’s a real conundrum to which everyone seems to have an opinion.
‘You’re right. Don’t go. Send a clear message that you’re not interested. He’s the one putting you under pressure. Don’t feel guilty,’ Big Sue says forcefully.
Tash agrees then immediately contradicts herself. ‘Or you could go and make sure he gets the message that you aren’t interested.’
‘I don’t trust him,’ Ged says, wiping his lips with a napkin. ‘Never have.’
‘It’s awful when you love someone and you can’t tell them,’ Big Mand says, out of nowhere. ‘So I’m not surprised he’s going to such extreme lengths to get your attention.’
We all take a beat of silence.
Liam coughs. ‘Precisely. If you love someone, tell them. Otherwise, you might live to regret it.’ For the first time since the big fallout, Big Mand gives Liam a genuine smile.
‘If your heart belongs to Matteo,’ says Big Sue, ‘then Luke shouldn’t even be on your radar. You wouldn’t put your career before the person you love, would you?’
‘That’s a great way of putting it,’ I say, keen to get off the subject of Luke. ‘Now, if you’ll all check your agendas, we are meeting Matteo at reception because he has booked the pink limo to take us to SlotZilla.’
Again, no one is surprised to see Hank Junior joining us. He and Liberty stroll along, hand in hand, as though no one else exists.
Cherry walks beside me. ‘I’ve never seen her so happy. And she is so super snatched. It’s making me really emosh… emosh…’ Cherry stops walking to wipe her eyes. ‘Fucking hormones.’ She takes in a huge breath and scowls it out. ‘Okay. That’s me done. I’m fine again, now.’
She is like a powder keg ready to blow. I hope hurling herself through the air on a zip line, high above thousands of shoppers and weaving in and out of giant inflatable flamingos for five blocks, will take her mind off things.
I panic-booked this eleven-storey slot-machine-inspired experience, the world’s largest, on the way here.
And no, there wasn’t time to check if anyone is scared of heights or giant dice.
Matteo is waiting at reception with an imperceptible smile on his face, which must mean he has been successful.
By the time we arrive at SlotZilla, excitement levels have reached fever pitch.
We glance up at the giant slot machine with showgirls and feathers at the sides, huge coins spilling from its mouth.
Excited squeals come from the zip lines with people in a seated harness but then twice as high up there are four zoomlines where screaming adults are lying flat on their bellies attached to four thick steel ropes.
Unfortunately, when we get there, there’s a big sign saying no pregnant ladies can ride.
Cherry is only momentarily gutted. ‘No worries. Connie, give me the card. I’ll just go for a little wander.’
She means a little gamble. The place is slot machine central.
And she is mistakenly thinking my credit card is the ‘group’ credit card just because most of our group expenses have been dumped on it for the purposes of this trip.
I must look terrified because Liberty jumps in to rescue me.
‘Take this card. It’s the emergency $100 one. ’
This act of kindness seems to ignite something in Hank Junior because he is giving Liberty big cow eyes as though she’s just given Cherry one of her kidneys and all of her bone marrow wrapped up nicely in her vintage quilted lambskin Chanel handbag.
Liberty waves off the attention, colour rising in her cheeks.
She. Is. Smitten.
As we make our way to the ride entrance, I ask Matteo how it’s all gone regarding the wedding.
‘It all seems very straightforward. We can do what they call the “vows renewal package”. We go through the motions but without the legalities. They can fit us in the day after tomorrow. The difficult part is making sure that Luke and Birdie turn up on time to witness it.’
‘Sounds simple enough,’ I say, although I’d hate for him to think I’ve not got a conscience. ‘It feels sneaky, hoodwinking them like this, but they are kind of driving us to it, aren’t they?’
Matteo gives me a sympathetic smile. ‘We don’t have to do it,’ he says, squeezing my hand. ‘We could come up with a better idea.’
Gah!
‘No,’ I blurt. ‘I want to marry you.’
Gah!
‘I mean… I want to go along with the fake wedding. You’re right. It’ll send a clear message and guarantee they’ll leave us alone.’
Matteo is not convinced. ‘Sure?’
I nod. ‘I just didn’t want to seem too keen. In case you think I’m deranged.’
Matteo throws his head back and roars with laughter. ‘Bit late for that.’
Cheeky.
On the way up, Big Sue is suddenly unsure.
I see Big Mand subtly take her hand and whisper something in her ear.
When she is finished, Big Sue has a smile in her eyes.
They pair up and the instructors help them into their harnesses.
Next up are Tash and Sister Kevin. She whispers in my ear, ‘I don’t think I’m pregnant any more.
I think it was just the kebab I had, repeating on me. ’
She must be referring to the kebab that ‘repeated’ all over the bathroom, up the walls and across the blinds of my flat in Benidorm. I will never unsee that.
I watch them being hurled off the ledge, all squeals of excitement. Hopefully, she’s having a rethink about her ridiculous plan to conceive without Sister Kevin’s consent.
Liberty and Hank Junior hold hands all the way through the harnessing process and can’t stop giggling at each other.
They lean towards each other for a quick snog before they are separated.
The instructor pushes them off with a roll of his eyes as though he can’t bear to see anyone so happy.
Although, to be fair to him, there is a huge queue, and they do seem in a rush to get people on the ride as quickly as possible. Next, it’s me and Matteo.
‘Nervous?’ he asks.
‘A bit. You?’
‘A bit,’ he says back. ‘It’s a big leap.’
‘It is,’ I say, gulping. Our relationship has been well and truly tested, a bit like this ride. ‘Marriage is a big leap. I mean, the wedding. The fake wedding. At least, that’s what I think. But I’m fine with it. Totally. I mean, if it’s too much too soon for you, then I totally under—’
A smile spreads across his face. ‘The ride, Cenicienta. The ride is a big leap. Not me and you.’
‘Of course, the ride. But even if you didn’t mean the ride, if it’s too big a step for— Aarrgghh!’
The fucking instructor has pushed me off the fucking ledge!
As I hurtle through the sky, hundreds of people far down below, a massive archway looming ahead, the inside of a shopping mall, the outside of a shopping mall, lots of giant inflatables and what seems like an eternity later, the zoomline slows to a halt and I finish screaming.
The first thing Matteo does when his harness is unbuckled is grab me up into a huge hug.
‘You okay? Want to go again?’ he says, beaming. His hair is wild, and his cheeks are flushed. He’s never looked so carefree and vibrant. His adventurous streak is infectious. In this moment, for him, I think I’d try anything.