Chapter 22
Not that I’m thinking with my loins, but we’ll not get to consummate our marriage, and that annulment is looking easier and easier to obtain.
Nor is that the most critical issue of the day.
Obviously, Matteo pursuing his lifelong dream to produce a global smash hit for one of the world’s most successful pop stars is very important.
While the threat of Luke being murdered by accident and us all going to jail for it is still an issue very much hovering on the periphery of my mind.
But still, I can’t help feeling gutted that my gorgeous wedding dress and beautifully crafted underwear have gone completely to waste.
‘You’re going?’ I say. I can’t believe it. ‘You’re just going to do what she tells you, the moment she snaps her fingers?’
This outburst coming from a chronic wimp.
I see his face harden. ‘I hardly have a choice.’ He reaches down to pat his horse, the atmosphere between us suddenly tense. ‘I have people depending on me.’ He applies pressure to the horse with his legs and canters away from me.
I throw my head back and groan with frustration.
I remain at the back of the horse trail.
I should be admiring the gorgeous view but instead my eyes are glued to the back of Matteo.
What does this mean for us as a couple if Matteo always jumps to it when Birdie snaps her fingers?
If this deal is a success, will other artists expect him and Birdie to be the dream team they hire, always as a pair? If so, will we never be free of Birdie?
‘Admiring the gorgeous view, are you, pet?’ Tash cackles. She is riding her horse with knee-high socks on. Her high heels are hanging from the saddle.
‘Something like that,’ I say.
‘I feel like this has been such a spiritual journey,’ says Tash, not picking up on my flat, depressed tone.
‘It’s made me totally rethink my decision to have baby Vegas outside of wedlock.
Seeing how happy you and Matteo are together.
It’s made me hanker after a huge fairy-tale wedding instead.
A proper one. Not like your quickie accidental one.
No offence, like.’ She stares off into space.
‘I want a big fuck-off Jennifer Lopez meets Bridgerton meets the Kardashians wedding with sweeping staircases and golden thrones aplenty.’ She flutters her eyes at Sister Kevin.
He’s so big, they’ve given him a very short but wide load-bearing mule. His feet are only inches above the ground. He’s yelling ‘Yeehaw!’ and waving his pink Stetson like a cowboy.
‘When you know you know,’ she says, cantering off to catch up with him.
It’s lovely to see Big Sue and Big Mand behaving like love-struck teens when they think no one is looking.
They’ve barely spoken to any of us. A softness has consumed them.
Even the way they walk and hold themselves seems different.
They only have eyes for each other, their foreheads always touching.
You’d think they’d only just met. I observe them riding side by side, gazing at one another, silly grins on their faces, laughing at private jokes and taking every opportunity to touch the other’s arm or face or leg.
I see Matteo up ahead, avoiding me. We have only a few days left of our minibreak and, so far, it has been nothing short of a romantic shambles.
Ged rides alongside him. I wish I could hear what they are talking about.
Matteo is smiling at Ged and thanking him for something.
Then Ged’s face is looking horrified. Then Matteo looks awkward.
Then Ged does a fifty-point turn on his horse and almost gallops towards me.
‘He’s leaving you?’ he yells at me as he overshoots by a few yards and, as I twist in my seat, I can see him pulling on the reins to get the horse to stop and turn around.
He pulls up alongside me all flustered. ‘I welcome him to the family. Which was very big of me considering the trick marriage throwing shade on my own nuptials. But anyway, I welcome him to our little family, I invite him for drinks, just you, him and us to celebrate your nuptials, and he tells me he has to leave. For work! On your honeymoon! It’s not on, babe. It’s not on. I’m seething.’
Ged sets off a chain reaction. Seconds later, everyone is fuming.
‘Hey, Libs, Matteo is abandoning Connie on her honeymoon!’ bellows Tash down the line.
‘What? That’s outrageous!’ Liberty shouts back. Her voice echoes around the canyon perimeter.
‘Totally out of fucking order, pet. Isn’t it, Sue?’ barks Big Mand.
‘Abso-fucking-lutely. Who jilts their bride the day after they get married?’ Big Sue is livid.
‘He’s deserting her in her hour of need, Mandeep,’ Ged says. ‘Did those Elvis lyrics mean nothing?’ His voice is a high-pitched squeal that releases birds from the trees around us.
‘It isn’t our honeymoon,’ I try to argue. Gawd, this is excruciating. ‘He has to work. Just like we do.’
Matteo is trying his best to twist round on his horse to defend himself, but it is nigh-on impossible to control these beasts. ‘I’m not abandoning her! I’m securing a hugely important business deal. For our future together and—’
‘That doesn’t matter,’ Tash cuts him off. ‘Connie. Today is the first day of your honeymoon, and Matteo is leaving you. End of. Who does that?’
Matteo has fallen foul of the entire group. They haven’t given him a chance to explain.
‘He’s worse than Luke!’ bellows Liberty. She is incensed. ‘Men. You’re all fucking useless!’
Luke has the good grace to avert his gaze.
The trip back through the ancient forest, overlooking thousands of years’ worth of volcanic erosion and natural wonder, is atmospheric and spiritual and emotive for all the wrong reasons.
Matteo seems desperate to press on ahead, but Bran, the guide, who has the obvious hump, says we must all stick together and stop bickering so loudly because we are ruining the glorious experience for other groups of hikers and travellers.
The day has ended in another disaster. Typical.
When we reach the helipad to go back to Vegas via the Hoover Dam, the girls forcefully insist we are put in one helicopter and all the men in the other, so that we don’t get contaminated with masculine toxicity.
It’s like a bad dream as I gaze forlornly out of the window at miles upon miles upon miles of mind-blowing mountainous rock.
* * *
When we finally arrive back at the hotel, Liberty is restless. Because she missed her dinner date, she has no idea how to contact Hank Junior to sort out the mess.
‘Fuck it. I’m going on a gambling rampage,’ she says, looking like an angry Barbie doll. ‘I’ll ring Cherry and find out where she is.’
‘Well, me and Kev will join you. I’m in the mood to let off some steam,’ says Tash, her arm around his neck.
‘We’ll come,’ says Big Mand. ‘I could do with a loosener. Sue?’
‘Christ, yes. Feels like all we’ve done since we got here is work and take care of people.’
She’s not entirely wrong.
‘We’ll probably chill for a few at the private cabana,’ adds Liam, taking Ged’s hand lovingly.
‘It’s been such a tiring day. And we don’t like to leave Franz on his own for too long.
He’s written us a poem and he’s looking forward to giving us a couples massage.
We’ll try to meet you in the casino before dinner. ’
‘Okay, then,’ says Luke awkwardly. ‘I guess this is goodbye. I’d best go before someone… you know… tries to kill me.’
I try to hide my surprise. It is clear that everyone thought he’d left already.
‘Good luck,’ says Liberty, at least trying to sound genuine. ‘I’m sure everything will be fine. Now I think about it, I’m 100 per cent sure Hank Junior was joking.’
We all take a beat.
‘Probably,’ she says. ‘I was just trying to make you feel better.’
Luke seems about to cry.
‘Good luck,’ I say, feeling a tiny bit sorry for him.
‘Luke,’ says Matteo, approaching the group. ‘I’ve arranged for the concierge to have all of your belongings packed and waiting in the car for you. It’ll take ten minutes. Just wait at reception with this.’
Matteo hands him a receipt. Luke tries to shake his hand, but Matteo isn’t interested.
‘I’m sorry for all of the upset,’ Luke says to him. ‘I truly am.’
We watch him scurry to the check-out desk, waving his piece of paper. He can’t wait to get away.
‘That was nice,’ I say to Matteo.
‘Don’t speak to him!’ bellows Tash. ‘You need to make him suffer before you forgive him.’
Matteo’s lips form a tight line. He seems at the end of his tether. Poor man.
Thankfully, Sister Kevin pulls Tash away. ‘Catch you later, man.’ The two men exchange raised brows.
Liberty, Big Sue and Big Mand follow them over to the lifts.
‘And that’s our cue to leave too,’ says Ged. ‘Coming, Connie?’
I blink a few times because my eyes are glassy. Is this goodbye?
Matteo holds my gaze. ‘Can we at least talk before I go?’
‘I think you’ve said enough,’ says Liam, coming over to put his arm around my shoulders. ‘How dare you hurt our best friend? Our best woman. Our beautiful lost soul. How dare you crush her like this?’
That’s a bit much, but Liam is very dramatic under stress.
‘It’s fine,’ I say to him. ‘It’s fine. We need to sort things out. I’ll see you guys later. I’ll come up to the pool. I need to sort out the logistics for the birthday gig tomorrow. It’s somewhere up on that floor.’
Hearing me sound normal and back to my efficient self helps me convince them that I’ll be okay, when inside I have melted into a pool of mush.
My pulse is racing, and not in a good way.
I’m hot, sticky and desperate to get this conversation with Matteo over with.
He has chosen work over me. It should be relatively short.
We make our way to the lifts along with crowds of new tourists with their suitcases and pull-along bags.
A heaviness settles over us, laced with disappointment.
This magical minibreak has taken a very wrong turn, and I have no idea how to fix it.
I stand in a numb trance staring forward until we reach our floor.
There’s only Matteo and me getting out. We walk the corridors in silence, navigating each bend as though we know them well, until we reach our room.
Matteo whips out his key and holds open the door for me.
‘Wait,’ he says, reaching out his hand to gently thumb away a tear from my cheek. My eyes have pooled with tears. Matteo can barely hold my gaze. I know this is tearing him up too.
‘I’m fine. I’m fine.’ I sniff, stopping in the doorway to face him. ‘I think I’ll go to the doctor’s when I get back. There’s something very overactive about my tear ducts.’
Matteo half smiles. He reaches up to smooth away strands of stray wig hair. ‘I wish things could’ve been different.’
‘Me too.’
We go inside and stand at the picture window.
Floor-to-ceiling glass affords a stunning view over Las Vegas.
The twinkling lights, the water fountains, the taxis and limos gridlocked on the Strip.
The towering hotels, windows glistening in the bright sunshine.
Everything about this place screams ‘have a fabulous and unforgettable time’.
‘I understand,’ I tell him. ‘I completely understand why you have to go. And why’ – I drop my gaze to the floor – ‘and why we have to annul this marriage.’ I swallow a lump in my throat and will away the rest of the tears threatening to fall.
I’m a grown-ass woman. I can deal with this head-on.
‘We can’t possibly stay married. That would be insane.
I’ll get on to it as soon as I’ve finalised the birthday bash for Eddie at Talent Star. ’
‘Wait. You’re doing something for Eddie?’
‘Yes,’ I say. ‘You’ve heard of him?’
‘Who hasn’t heard of him?’ Matteo drums his fingers against his thigh while he stares back out of the window. ‘That’s a huge deal. Well done. He only books the best.’
My heart lifts at his words.
‘Connie. About the wedding,’ Matteo says, stepping closer. ‘I meant what I said.’
I close my eyes and send a silent prayer out into the universe.
‘Please don’t play me like a fool,’ I say. ‘You can be honest with me. I don’t need you to spare my feelings. Just because we promised to cherish one another, no matter what comes our way, with a love that’s tender and true. A promise to stay honest and faithful when times get hard and confusing.’
Matteo is admiring of my excellent memory.
‘I had to learn a lot of lines very quickly for the Sinfonia. It’s greatly improved my memory for lyrics,’ I explain.
‘What else did we promise each other?’
‘Well,’ I say, biting my bottom lip. ‘You promised to never leave me in Heartbreak Hotel. Or to have a suspicious mind. You also promised to love me tender, and love me sweet, and to never let me go.’
The words hang in the air. It’s almost as though Elvis knew what was coming our way.
Matteo takes my hand. ‘I’m not abandoning you. And I meant everything I said. Yesterday was one of the happiest moments of my life. Second only to being handcuffed on stage with you at that music festival and listening to that song you wrote.’
I clear my throat. ‘The song that definitely wasn’t about you?’
‘Yes. The song you wrote that was called “Matteo, I Love Everything About You”. The one that definitely wasn’t about me.’
‘Uh-huh.’ That was excruciatingly embarrassing. It was a masterclass in oversharing.
Matteo lifts my chin, forcing me to lose myself in his dark swirls. He blinks slowly, his lashes sweeping his eyes clear. Seeing me upset is killing him. His emotions are written all over his face.
‘I’m in love with you, Connie.’ His words explode in my brain like fireworks, lighting up my entire body from within. ‘I’m just a hunk, a hunk of burning love for you.’
A giggle escapes my lips. I arch towards him, my head tipping back, lips parted and plumped for action. Just as I’m about to tell him that I love him too, there’s a thumping on the door.
‘Ignore it,’ he says.
‘What if it’s the killer?’
‘Definitely ignore it then.’
The thumping grows more insistent. ‘Matteo? C’est moi, Birdie. J’ai besoin de te voir. C’est urgent.’