Chapter 26
I race back to my room, turning the last corner to find Matteo is at the door. His face lights up as I walk casually towards him down the long, never-ending corridor.
It’s funny how the simple act of walking has become the most awkward action possible now that I’m married to a gorgeous hunk who loves me. I’m overwhelmed with excitement. I instantly speed up, thinking better of it once my elbows start pointing outwards like a Nordic speed walker.
Now it’s as though I’ve forgotten what a normal speed is.
I’ve gone too far the other way; it feels awfully like I’m walking in slow motion.
And my hands? I wipe some non-existent hair from my brow.
Now where do I put them? I suddenly get the idea to wave at him with one of them just for something to do, while I’m laughing at what a coincidence it is that we’ve arrived at the same time.
Obviously, I’m too far away to explain what I’m laughing at.
So, for some reason, I just keep waving and laughing.
Much longer than is acceptable. I am also walking too close to the wall because I’m trying to focus on his handsome face, and not the picture I’ve just knocked off the wall with a loud thump.
He stands watching me with an amused expression while I display signs of acute dyspraxia, trying to discreetly put the picture back up and rehang it. Let me tell you, hanging pictures is not easy. And the weight of these things can be very deceiving. I am fucking exhausted by the time I reach him.
He is literally biting his lips together.
‘Hello,’ I say in a breathy, low voice. I’m too tired and stressed to even begin explaining what that spectacle just was.
He opens the door for me. His eyes are glassy, and his cheeks are pink. I may need to give him a moment to compose himself. He really is trying very hard to be gentlemanly and not to laugh. He clears his throat. ‘You okay?’ he asks.
‘Oh, God. I forgot to tell you. Hank Junior showed up while I was looking for the others in the casino. He’s really mad at us for wanting to cancel. He basically said it was all too late and that the deal had been done. Please tell me you’re sure Luke got safely on to the plane.’
He puts his arm around me. ‘He did. The driver sent a confirmation email of the airport drop-off. Try not to worry. Las Vegas is a crazy town. It may all be bravado on Hank’s part.
But I’m here for you. I won’t let him do anything to harm you or the others.
’ He dips down to kiss me. His lips are soft and warm.
His touch is like a rejuvenating elixir as a wave of calm envelops me. When we draw apart, he is smiling.
‘How did things go? Did you manage to sort things with Birdie?’ I ask, instantly soothed.
‘Kind of. But that’s not why I came back.
I have something I hope you’ll like.’ He sounds very excited.
He leads me over to the floor-to-ceiling window.
The sight of the city bathed in sunlight and sprawled out before us is stunning, simply breathtaking.
‘Stay here. Don’t move. Keep looking out of the window. ’
Matteo is doing something in the room. There’s a zipping, some clicking sounds; he’s plugging something in. It’s all very, very mysterious.
‘Okay, turn around.’
‘What’s this?’ I ask, pointing to a picture of me on the large TV screen in the room.
‘It’s you at the piano in the Cocktail Hour bar,’ he says, and presses play.
I gulp loudly. It’s the video he asked me to WhatsApp him.
How cringe. But as soon as I hear it, I realise he’s tinkered with it.
He’s added amazing acoustics, some bass, subtle layers of sound.
It’s extremely clever. It’s absolutely amazing.
He’s taken my song and made it a million times better. I am wide-eyed and speechless.
He gives me a shy smile.
We are silent as we watch the close-up of me on screen, eyes closed, lost in my own world, belting out the track. Singing about how excited I feel, how lucky to have found my special someone just at the right time and how, if only he knew, that inside I’m a blazing furnace, burning for his touch.
It’s only when it ends that I realise I’ve been holding my breath.
‘What do you think?’ he asks quietly.
‘It’s incredible,’ I whisper. ‘I can’t believe that’s me. Thank you so much.’
‘That’s only part of my surprise,’ he says. ‘What time are you performing today?’
‘At 4 p.m. Up at the poolside. Everyone is coming here to rehearse beforehand. Sorry. I should have asked you first. I thought you’d be with…
’ My voice cracks. I can barely get the words out.
I really don’t want him to spend any more time with Birdie.
We’ve only been married a day, and he’s spent more time with her than me.
Luckily for him, all of this whining is very much internal.
‘That’s okay. I need to get back to the recording studio.
I’ll see you at 4 p.m.’ His eyes rake over my face.
‘Hey. I’m almost done. Birdie is behaving herself.
The client is happy. Just two more hours and it’s a wrap.
I promise. By the time you’ve finished your gig, you and I will be officially on our… ’
A wave of jubilation flows through my veins. ‘Honeymoon,’ I blurt, just as I hear him say, ‘First date’.
He pulls a yikes face when he sees the look on mine. ‘Honeymoon it is.’
‘No, it’s fine. I meant first date too,’ I say, fake laughing to disguise my embarrassment.
‘Honeymoon.’ He places a hand on his heart, smiling. ‘I insist.’
I swallow hard. He must think I’m insane. He has married a lunatic.
‘Besides, I think we have sort of missed the boat with the whole first date and let’s get to know each other properly phase.
’ He takes my fingertips in his. ‘All I know is that since the moment we met, it has been like stepping on to an out-of-control rollercoaster. And even though I have no idea what’s coming… I have no desire to get off.’
A warmth radiates throughout my entire body as I realise what he’s saying. He pulls me towards him just as there’s a loud thumping at the door.
I jump a mile.
Matteo marches to the door. My heart is in my mouth as he checks the peephole and swings the door open.
‘Come in, ladies. My wife has been expecting you. Make yourselves at home,’ he says as they all troop in.
‘Minibar is that way. There’s champagne in the ice bucket.
Toilet for throwing up is that way. I’ll see you all later. ’
They all stop dead in their tracks.
‘You’re staying married?’ Cherry asks.
‘As in legally hitched?’ Big Mand says.
‘You’re twanging the marital garter?’ says Tash. Makes no sense. ‘Flashing the wedding knickers?’ Makes less sense. ‘Fondling the wedding giblets?’ Borderline unnecessary. But Sister Kevin is finding her hilarious.
‘Are you sure, both of you?’ Liberty asks.
Matteo pauses in the doorway to make eye contact with me. My face flames. I give him a shy nod. Raw emotion flickers across his face, detectable only by me. ‘Yes, we are,’ he says and closes the door.
Cherry swirls round. ‘Fuck me, Connie. Imagine ringing those wedding bells every night for the rest of your life. Lucky cow.’
* * *
Somehow, we all manage to stay focused as we run through the rehearsal for the birthday party.
Practising the Hot Garbage finale has cost me a bedside lamp, Sister Kevin’s glass of beer (kicked clean out of his hand) and a curtain rail.
Liberty had mistakenly assumed it would hold her full weight as she grabbed hold of the curtain while coming out of a complex upside-down splits routine.
Finally, after two solid hours, we stop for a quick break while we all scroll through our phones.
I have no messages from Matteo, but I do have one from Ged and Liam posted to our private group chat.
They are asking if I am absolutely certain that staying married to Matteo is what I want.
I send them a video note back because I’m too excited to think straight, never mind text.
‘I know it sounds crazy,’ I say, quivering with the effort of trying to control a face-splitting grin, ‘but I just feel like my best self whenever I’m with him.
For the first time in my life, I feel brave and reckless and…
like I just want to skip everywhere because I’m so bursting with joy.
And it’s so scary but at the same time…’ A brief glance behind me indicates I have a rapt audience as the Dollz eavesdrop, keen to understand why I’ve suddenly become so talkative and expressive.
‘…but at the same time, deep down, it’s hard to describe but I just know it’s meant to be.
Because I feel a sort of calm. Like my mother sent him to me.
To help me. He’s like a dazzling light guiding me out of the dark place I’ve been in for so long. ’
I press send and turn round to see why there is such a silence.
The Dollz are standing staring at me. Big Mand, famously unemotional and detached because of her job of yanking babies from the often-torn vaginas of overanxious mothers, has tears streaming down her face.
Cherry is also sniffing and wiping her wet cheeks.
Liberty is sniffing hers up, dabbing her eyes as she tries not to smudge her mascara.
Even Sister Kev has a slack jaw as he gives Tash a pensive look.
There’s a loud knock at the door, making us all jump.
‘It’s Hank!’ shrieks Tash. ‘He’s come to get rid of all the witnesses.’
Cherry, snapping to attention, is cool as a cucumber now she’s back to her sane self. ‘We haven’t witnessed anything, pet.’
‘Kev!’ Tash yells. ‘You go.’
Sister Kevin looks pleased to be of some use and strides to the door.
He yanks it open, chest first, ready for some confrontation.
‘Connie. It’s the dry-clean service. I guess it’s your wedding dress.
’ He carries a big plastic suit bag over his arm and lays it out on the bed.
We take a moment to ooh and ahh over the dress, visible through the clear plastic.
‘It’s so pretty,’ says Cherry. ‘But I’d have gone for a more off-white if I were you.’
‘Hmmm,’ says Liberty, running her hand lightly over it. ‘And maybe something a bit more fun? In silk? With a cowgirl theme?’
‘No,’ says Tash. ‘It definitely should have been more princessy. More showstopper. More underskirts. The more the better. Don’t you think so, Kev, hun?’
Sister Kev visibly swallows, like a giant mouse caught in a trap. ‘I like it. It’s elegant and understated.’
‘Connie, babe,’ she says, swiftly ignoring what he just said. ‘If you’d bothered to include us in your top secret plans, we could have helped style you up.’
‘And she’d never have been able to reach a decision in time,’ says Big Sue diplomatically. ‘So, it’s just as well they sloped off in secret. I totally get it.’
Big Mand’s cheeks flush. ‘I mean, it’s not like we have to tell each other every single blinking thing, do we?’
Before we can debate this startling revelation, there’s another thump on the door.
‘Christ, we’ll never get ready in time at this rate,’ moans Liberty. ‘Part of me wishes it was Hank so that we can just get this over with.’
Our nerves are in shreds.
Sister Kevin charges back over to the door. ‘It’s a message,’ he says, thanking the concierge and slipping him some dollars. ‘In a posh envelope.’ He carries it over to us. He hands it to me.
‘Why me?’ I’m quick to say. ‘Give it to Big Sue.’
‘It has your name on it.’
I take it gingerly and turn it around in my fingers. It’s a small red envelope.
‘That is so sinister,’ says Cherry. ‘You better open it. It might be a death threat.’
Not helping.
I slide my finger under the seal and take out a thick piece of beautifully crafted white card with embossed writing. ‘It’s an invitation.’
‘To where?’ says Cherry, looking over my shoulder. ‘“Your attendance is requested at The Little White Wedding Chapel at midnight.”’
‘It says, “Come for the free booze, stay for the wedding”,’ I say. ‘Whose wedding?’
‘Maybe it’s a mistake? Or someone Matteo knows?’
‘Would anyone mind if I just went downstairs for a little gamble?’ Sister Kevin looks shattered. This week has been very full-on. I imagine Tash has been very high-maintenance and the cracks are beginning to show.
‘If you must,’ she says sharply. ‘See you at the gig?’
‘Of course. Sure.’ He doesn’t sound sure. ‘I’ll be there.’
We wait for Tash to run into his arms for a lengthy snog, but she stands rigid, unmoving. They exchange a frosty goodbye before he leaves.
‘Whoa,’ says Big Sue. ‘What’s going on there?’
‘Nothing,’ Tash says. ‘We’re just… tired.’
‘Yup,’ agrees Cherry. ‘You can say that again. I’m frigging exhausted. Feels like we’ve been here forever.’
‘Well, after today’s gig for Eddie from Talent Star, we have only one day left before we fly home,’ I say, staring down at my wedding ring, wondering what my dad will make of it all.
‘So much has happened,’ says Big Mand. ‘It’s ridiculous to think you’re going back a married woman, Connie, babes. Five minutes ago, he was your Mr Window Seat on the plane to Benidorm and now, you’re building a whole new life together.’
We let those words sink in.
I. AM. A. MARRIED. WOMAN.
Omigodomigodomigod.
‘It’s funny to think of how your life can change so dramatically all because of a chance meeting,’ says Liberty with a faraway look in her eye.
I wonder if she’s thinking of Hank.