Chapter 16
Noah
The look in Morgan’s eyes when I told her Lily was staying at my mom’s, hence the extra groceries, was painful.
I wouldn’t have just volunteered that information, but she asked me point-blank if someone was staying with her.
What was I supposed to do? Lie? It’ll probably make its way around the locals sooner rather than later anyway.
I pull out of Pete’s on the hunt for Lily, who said we’d meet in twenty minutes, yet it’s been forty and I haven’t seen her.
Her touch. It was so natural for her to brush her thumb over my mouth, and hell, did I want to snatch her wrist and kiss each fingertip. The only thing I could do was freeze to keep from pulling her into me. Pretty sure she’d do more than flee from my truck—she’d probably leave the damn country.
There are moments. Moments I glimpse what would’ve been the high-on-life woman. Perhaps she’d even be bubbly, less weighed down by whatever keeps her from settling in one spot. I wonder if I’ll ever see that side of her.
Slowly, I drive down Main Street, scanning the sidewalks for her.
Considering she jumped out of my truck with little direction and clear motivation to create some distance between us, she could be anywhere.
I pass the diner once more and allow the truck to crawl along the pavement until I catch movement several shops down to my left.
I recognize Lily right away, her hands animated as she throws them up into the air, almost in a challenge. What surprises me, though, is who she’s talking to.
Paul’s in uniform, facing Lily in front of the Handmade Porch. He towers over her, his posture slightly intimidating, and something flips in my stomach.
Passing them, I whip the truck around and skid to a stop in front of the shop. Lily and Paul barely spare me a glance as I get out of the car. Max whines in the back seat, his focus shifting toward Paul. He growls.
Lily crosses her arms tight over her chest, glaring up at the sheriff. Her shoes scuff the concrete as she shifts nervously, yet her chin juts out, the challenge radiating off her. When I round the bed of the truck, stepping up on the sidewalk, she jabs a finger toward his chest.
Paul stiffens, his demeanor screaming irritation.
What the hell is going on?
“Everything okay?” I ask, moving to stand by Lily.
Paul studies me, his green eyes flicking between the two of us. “She was sleeping in the store the owner said.”
Lily scoffs. “It’s a store. I was looking because it was open. I drifted off for a minute, it’s not that big of a deal.”
I bristle and look toward Paul, who’s staring at her neck. “You’re the girl who’s been sleeping in the gym parking lot, are you not?”
“Oh, what the—” Lily lets out a sarcastic laugh.
“You’re telling me you just happened to get into the store to shop for furniture you can’t afford, and just happened to fall asleep while the owners had gone to lunch?” Paul continues.
I don’t like his tone.
“What are you trying to imply?” I ask, inserting myself.
Paul ignores me, which causes me to straighten and angle myself between him and her even more.
“You’re homeless. Trying to catch some shut eye in the store.”
“No,” Lily argues. “You’re all the damn same. Shitty law enforcement that thinks they can treat anyone like anything.”
I hate being lumped into that logic. I’d argue I’m not like that.
Yes, I’m a uniformed federal law enforcement officer with authority to enforce federal and state laws within National Park Service sites, but I wanted to do more than just wear a badge.
I wanted dirt under my boots and a job that meant something.
It’s the real wild, and if I can keep the land safe from illegal activity and careless destruction, then it’s worth it.
There’s something about her fierceness as she says it—it’s a conviction. Perhaps personal experience—figuring by her squared shoulders, chin slightly raised, and the unyielding iron will radiating from her.
It takes a squint, but I examine the hours for the store plastered in the display window. They’re open ten to six today, so why would Paul get called about someone testing out their chairs?
“Do we need to head down to the station, Ms. Parker?” He makes an exaggerated glance toward her thick boots, his lip curling just enough to give away his disgust.
“The shop was open,” Lily reiterates, then she takes a few steps toward me.
“Come on, Paul. What the hell is this all about?”
“It’s about her!” he snaps. “The owners called and said the homeless girl from the gym was sleeping in their store. They wanted me to come check it out. Found her asleep. You’re not on anything, are you?”
Lily’s mouth drops open. “Go to hell.”
“All right. That’s it,” Paul says. “I’m taking you into the station.”
My chest tightens, and a heat spreads through me—it’s worse than anger, it’s something more. Protectiveness.
I recognize it.
It’s the same instinct that screamed at me when my mother and I sat across from the oncologist when he told her the lung cancer would kill her—I wanted to tear into the cancer and demolish it.
It’s the same instinct that pulses through me when Max is working, doing his job, and he gets too far ahead of me.
When I can’t see him, but I hear him. The drive to get to him, to shield him, hounds me until I’ve put eyes on him.
It’s the same instinct I had with Tommy and his father—the need to be around because I knew his father wouldn’t hit him if I was.
While Lily attempts to convey defiance, I pick up on the way her fingers twitch, the way her eyes widen and dart down the sidewalk like she’s ready to bolt.
I fully step in front of her, intent on stopping the flicker of fear I sense is bubbling up inside her.
I don’t care who or what it is—I don’t want her upset.
Anyone wanting to try is going to have to go through me.
My fists clench at my sides, the dull bite of my nails against my palms grounding me. Paul won’t assume this, but I’d stand here all day, as long as it’s between him and her.
Quickly, I recognize I should defuse the situation instead of shoving the sheriff of Pinebrook across the sidewalk, so I relax my shoulders and do my best to keep the grit out of my mouth.
“Come on, Paul. I’m sure you’ve dozed off a time or two.
The store was open. She’s not attempting to sleep there or anything, and you know it.
She’s staying with my mom, so she isn’t sleeping in the gym parking lot anymore. Not homeless.”
Paul’s eyes widen when I mention Lily staying with my mom, but I continue. “It’s all a misunderstanding. Let me take her home. We were getting ready to go that way anyway.”
Paul regards me and sighs. “Okay, okay. Take her home and see that she doesn’t get into any more trouble.”
“Trouble?” Lily shrieks, her glare locked straight ahead. She shifts her weight forward, and the toe of her boot edges past my shadow.
I grab her elbow, halting her next inch into the sheriff.
Faint barks from the back seat of the truck fill the silence stretching between the three of us, and they shuffle between sharp alerting barks and growls. He’s thoroughly distressed.
Paul fixates on Lily’s neck again. It’s only when I follow to where he’s focused do I notice Lily’s gold raven necklace offering small winks and glimmers from the sunrays hitting it.
“Interesting necklace,” he says, and my brow furrows.
Lily’s hand comes up to zip the charm across the chain, then she tucks it behind the collar of her shirt, studying him.
“You two have a good day. Noah, I’ll give you a text.” Paul nods at me, but instead of returning the gesture, I turn toward Lily and shuffle her to my truck.
I open the door and Max whines, tail thumping against the back seat. Once she’s inside, I jog around the back of the truck, taking one last look at Paul, who’s since pulled out his phone and is having a heated conversation while briskly walking to his cruiser.
Having slid into my seat, I start the truck.
The silence in the car is heavy, the kind that makes my chest ache.
She’s shut down. I grip the steering wheel, pulling the truck away from the sidewalk and the shop.
I still have no idea what she was doing in there.
My knuckles grow whiter, tighter, as I fight the urge to sling my vehicle back into park and ask her what all that was about.
From the back seat, Max whimpers, and when I glance in the rearview, his big eyes are fixed on Lily, head tilted in concern.
He shifts forward, paws resting on the edge of the seat.
I look at Lily, who doesn’t turn to acknowledge him, and Max lets out another quiet whine.
Then, with a deliberate push, his nose presses against her neck, huffing through her slight waves.
It’s enough. Enough to loosen the storm in Lily’s expression.
“Max,” Lily whispers, her voice cracking as she reaches to stroke the top of his head.
My jaw clenches so hard it hurts, the frustration that she’s upset, that someone I know and respect accused her of loitering based on how she was dressed. For innocently falling asleep in the store. The irritation rolls through me in waves, compounding.
Max licks her fingers and then nuzzles her palm, eliciting a tear from the corner of her eye. She’s so quiet, tilting her head far enough away from me, but not so much that she loses contact with Max’s soft fur.
Crying. She’s crying.
Her shoulders shake as she scrunches her face, trying to cut off her wet tears. Something akin to panic roils in my stomach. What do I do? How can I make it better?
“Hey,” I say softly. Doing my best, I keep my eyes on the road while every other few paces turning to her.
Lily doesn’t look up at me, and part of me wishes I knew her better, so that pulling her into my arms to tell her it was going to be okay wasn’t weird. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. Frankly, knowing Lily, I figured she’d get in the truck angry.
She continues to massage Max’s ears as more tears spill down her cheeks. The hair tumbled messily over her face is damp, clinging to her flushed cheeks.
I’ve never seen her so raw, so broken. Not in the hospital. Not at the gas station the other night. Swallowing hard, I force the lump rising in my throat back down. I wish I knew what to say, but I’m grateful Max is able to comfort her when I can’t.
“Do you want to talk about it?” The way it comes out is pathetic. My fingers twitch, wrapped around the wheel, itching to reach out and smooth those tracks from her face.
She smacks the next tears off her face. “Why? So you can tell me how it’s important to be respectful to law enforcement? I did nothing wrong.”
“What? Lily, no. Paul was wrong, but he was responding to a call from someone.”
“So what? The man didn’t even give me time to explain. I woke up to him standing over me all brute asshole going on about how this wasn’t the place to sleep. He practically dragged me out of the store, questioning why I was there in the first place.”
I wince. I’ve never known Paul to be rude, at least not to me, but that’s probably her point.
“He’s not a good man,” she grits out.
I bristle at that. Why? Because she has a hatred for law enforcement. I get it, but it’s not easy work, and it’s like she has zero respect for what we do.
“Why would you say that? I’ve known Paul since high school, he’s always had this town’s interest at heart. You don’t even know him.”
“No, Noah. You don’t really know him.” She sniffles, but her voice rises, a mix of frustration and hurt.
“You’ve what? Been in this town for all of five minutes. What is it with you and law enforcement? Get caught doing something illegal and actually had to be held accountable? Damn it, Lily!”
“You don’t even know!” Lily yells at me, her tears spilling faster, fiercer.
Max growls in the back, and I run a hand through my hair.
I turn to her, taking my eyes off the road. “Then tell me. I’ve been trying to know you! Tell me what the hell you have against men like me!”
The tension in the truck is thick, the kind that makes breathing feel labored, and my chest heaves. Lily narrows her gaze, her fists balled up so tight I worry if she’s hurting herself.
She scoffs, whipping her head out her window to avoid looking at me. “Tell you? Please … why would I tell you.”
The back of my teeth grind. “I’m not out to hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”
“Is that the law enforcement training talking?”
“No. Damn it!” I slam an open palm on the steering wheel, and she flinches, her eyes glistening with even more tears. I hate I did that.
Her sob jolts me, but she raises her chin. “I was raped! There, are you happy now? He was the son of the local sheriff in Ruin who did nothing but cover it up. I learned the hard way six years ago that badges don’t just protect the innocent, they protect their own by burying secrets.”
The words hit me like a slap, and I feel sick, the grilled cheese churning over in my stomach.
For a moment, the only sound is her breathing, heavy and uneven. The rawness of what she just told me is palpable. She looks at me, eyes pooling with unleashed tears, and she bites her lip, the anger slowly melting into a trembling chin.
Something closer to understanding flits through me, as I see her, perhaps all of her, for the first time.
“Lily, I’m—”
“I don’t want your pity, Noah.”
My lips part, but no words come. The silence hangs there, so fragile I’m afraid to speak.
Those words, her words, ring in my ears. “I was raped!”
Who. Who ever thought they could touch her like that, use her, put their hands on her without her permission? And the sheriff coving up his own son’s actions …
My grip on the wheel tightens. The sting from her words, the hollow look in her eyes—it’s too much. I stare blankly at the road ahead as town fades into the background.
My mind spins, replaying her words over and over. “There, are you happy now?”
No. I can’t take a full breath—the dull roar of my anger for her is mixed with an undercurrent of regret. I made her blurt out her traumatic past because I was selfish. I wanted to know why she couldn’t ever look at law enforcement with gratitude, look at me as anything more, and now I know why.
The deafening blare of a horn shatters my thoughts, and my heart slams into my ribs. Lily shrieks my name as my foot stomps on the brake.
I don’t see the semitruck until it’s too late.