Chapter 4 #4
The young cowboy finally eased out of him, and John collapsed into the bed, uncaring of the sticky sheet beneath him. Lawson’s hands were on his body again, stroking and palming his cheeks, up his lower back.
John smiled into the pillow, humming and feeling so fucking blissed out he couldn’t move.
Finally, after several long minutes of massaging and kissing, Lawson stopped and climbed off of him, walking back to the bathroom to clean up.
John managed to sit up, sinking against the bedframe, thoroughly and utterly relaxed, and downright amazed. He hadn’t expected that from Lawson. He never would’ve thought the quiet, mild-mannered resident could fuck like that. Or that John would like it that much. Because he did.
Lawson strode out, looking devastatingly handsome. His dark sandy blond hair was sex-tousled, his skin radiated a post-orgasmic glow, his sharp pale eyes were heated, and his lips danced upward with an arrogant smirk as he gazed over John’s wrecked body.
“How’s the shoulder?” Lawson asked.
“Better. A lot better,” he admitted. “Thank you.”
Lawson nodded, picking up his jeans and looking ridiculously pleased with himself. “Good.”
John shifted, grabbing the edge of the sheet and pulling it over his lap.
A sudden fatigue washed over him as the drain from the long week finally caught up to him, as well as the annihilating orgasm he had just experienced.
He yawned and contentedly slid down into the bed, his shoulder feeling fantastic and his ass a bit sore from being ridden so roughly toward the end.
“I should go,” Lawson said, still holding his jeans and watching him.
John hesitated. Having him stay meant Lawson getting back in bed, which also meant the possibility of more sex, and they both knew that would be treading too close to the line they just crossed.
They couldn’t let this happen again, and they both understood that.
A relationship with an attendee and his resident was heavily frowned upon, if not a fireable offense, depending on the hospital.
And it wouldn’t affect just him. Lawson could be transferred out, or worse, possibly repeat his last year of residency.
“Yeah, it’s probably for the best,” John replied.
Lawson slid into his boxers and jeans, then his socks and worn-down black leather cowboy boots.
John arched his eyebrows in surprise, smiling. Lawson caught his smile, hand hesitating on his black T-shirt. “What?”
“Cowboy boots?” he asked.
Lawson shot him a roguish grin, “If you like these, you should see my hat.”
He chuckled, ignoring how easy it was to picture Lawson wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, cock hard and ready for him. “You really are a cowboy, aren’t ya kid?”
Lawson tugged on his UCLA sweater. “I was on a horse before I could crawl,” he said, his hair ruffled, which he smoothed down with another careless brush of his hand.
He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy.
Oh, how the youth was wasted on the young, he thought.
He was just like Lawson not too long ago, but it all felt so damned far away.
He was lucky if he wasn’t waking up to the sight of more gray appearing in his hair, let alone his beard.
He was almost tempted to shave the damn thing off because of it.
John wasn’t afraid of aging, but considering he just spent the last twenty-something years in the closet, he wanted to enjoy the sex he could have with the men who may still want him.
Men like Lawson. Because he liked this. And he wanted more.
But it couldn’t be with Lawson.
Lawson, once fully clothed, shifted nervously, returning to the familiar version of himself that John was used to, maybe even better equipped to handle. Because whatever version of Lawson he experienced in bed made him want more. A hell of a lot more.
Lawson must have seen something in his face and smirked again. “Thanks. This was…”
John sucked in a breath, then exhaled slowly, suddenly feeling apprehensive.
Please don’t say fun.
Sure, it was fun, but John didn’t want to hear that his first time was just ‘fun’.
It meant more to John than that, and he intended to keep this information to himself.
Lawson had simply been the means to an end.
John now knew, for a fact, that he was unequivocally gay, having never orgasmed that intensely in his entire life.
Sex with women was enjoyable, and he found release almost every time. But this—this was different.
“I won’t say anything,” Lawson reassured, then shifted again. “I really liked this, just so you know.”
John swallowed hard, refusing to say anything, not wanting to give Lawson or himself hope of this happening again.
“See you Monday, Dr. Donnelly.” His blue eyes sparkled with a confidence that John couldn’t look away from.
Who the hell was this man, and what happened to the fumbling Lawson he knew?
Christ, please leave this room before I ask you to stay and fuck me again.
He scrubbed a hand over his jaw in mild shock and watched Lawson leave.
Once the door was firmly shut behind him, John climbed out of bed, turned on the bathroom’s shower, and stepped beneath the hot spray.
His body, like a tightly wound knot, was unraveling the longer he stood there.
An incredulous smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, thinking of Lawson…
thinking how quickly the night had possibly become the best one he’d had in months.
Maybe even years.
After showering, John returned to bed, darkness descending on him as he waited for the thoughts that always came in the silent stillness of night. But instead, his mind was blissfully empty.
The cliff, where he usually stood so precariously close, had vanished.
Relief dropped into his belly and he sighed, drifting off to sleep, hearing the deep timber of Lawson’s calm, soothing voice and the feel of soft kisses fluttering over his frozen shoulder.