Chapter 10 #2
Sudden relief flooded his lungs, all from a simple touch, and he could breathe again. John reached for his beer and took a long gulp from the glass. Jesus, this was bad. He shouldn’t be reacting this strongly to Lawson. Maybe he should end it now before it becomes any more complicated.
He’d already proven to Lawson he was broken.
That he had trauma from his job that had built up in his body like an overflowing lake, until finally the dam had burst and driven him into a full-on collapse after shower sex.
It was something that he still felt immensely ashamed about, and the young cowboy seemed careful not to bring it up again.
Lawson was better off far, far away from him. He should be doing things like this—out with friends, line dancing, having flings, having fun.
He felt another touch, a knee brushing against his beneath the table, and he resisted the urge to close his eyes and savor the reassuring feel of Lawson.
This was so fucking wrong.
John, unable to stand the self-loathing and pity anymore, abruptly got to his feet and headed over to the bar to close out. He knew he was running away, but he also knew he couldn’t stay.
His phone dinged in his back pocket, and he withdrew it with his wallet.
It was Lawson, aka Sally. He fought the temptation to glance over his shoulder at him and opened the message instead:
You’re upset.
Jamie took his card, and he typed back a quick reply.
I’m fine.
I do love it when you say that.
He sighed, and Jamie handed him the bill. He signed it, paying for tonight’s fun, knowing Samuels and Steph were always good at footing the bill next time. His phone vibrated again. He checked it.
Are you leaving?
Yeah. Long day.
Wait 10 mins out back behind the bar.
He didn’t reply, tucking his phone away and returning to the table, noting the steely glint in Lawson’s gaze as he sipped his beer looking—angry?
“All right, kids,” John began in a long sigh. “It’s time for me to head out for the evening. It was fun,” he said to the younger doctors, and patting Samuels on the shoulder. “You can get the bill next time.”
Samuels’s grin was lopsided and his eyelids at half-mast, clearly drunk. “Aw, you shouldn’t have, buddy.”
“Yeah, I did,” he replied, ruffling his curly hair. “Hope all of you have rides.”
Reyes and Emily waved their goodbyes happily. Ava had promptly taken John’s vacated seat beside Lawson and was leaning provocatively into him, playfully fingering the brim of his hat in a flirtatious way that set John’s teeth on edge.
Fuck, I need air.
“I’ll walk you out,” Steph said, getting to her feet and slinging her purse over her shoulder. John opened the door for her, the crisp scent of fresh fallen leaves and damp pavement filling his nostrils. He let out a long breath.
“I love this time of year,” Steph said, pulling out her car keys.
“You okay to drive?” he asked.
She waved a dismissive hand and paused, “Well, now that you say that… Probably not. Wait with me till my Uber gets here?”
“Of course,” he said as she ordered her car via app. He leaned against the red brick building, listening to the commotion within and trying not to think about the way Ava was looking at Lawson.
“God, to be a kid again, with all that damned energy. I don’t remember how we did it,” Steph drawled, joining him against the wall, wrapping her arms around her waist to keep warm.
John slipped his arm over her shoulders and drew her into his side.
They had been friends since day one. Years of going through hell together had bonded them.
Steph was his rock, his navigator, and in many ways, his best friend.
“I don’t remember either, if that makes you feel better,” John said with a gentle smile.
She snorted. “We had fun times, though.”
“We still do.”
“You say that, but all we do is come here. And then go back to work. Rinse and repeat.”
“True, but I like it here.”
Steph returned the smile, burrowing into him. “Me too.”
“We could always go line dancing,” he teased.
Steph barked out a rich laugh, and they watched the light mist of rain and the twinkle of city lights. Finally, Steph said, “I’m glad you’re doing better.”
He stiffened.
Steph glanced at him with that knowing expression. “I’m not stupid, you know.”
“Never said you were.”
“I know you weren’t doing well there for a minute, Johnny. You know you can always come to me, right?” she murmured. “You’re my best friend—hell, possibly my only friend, outside of Samuels and my husband.”
Overwhelmed with the tenderness of her statement, John kissed the side of her temple, squeezing her shoulders. “I appreciate that.”
“And if he gives you any trouble, just send him my way.”
He hesitated, breath hitching in his chest. “Who?”
Steph elbowed him hard in the side. “You know who. You guys remind me of high schoolers, can’t keep your hands off each other.”
John swallowed, unable to speak.
“Though I think he’s hung up on someone back home. Doesn’t talk about it, but I think it’s love. Only love can make someone that crazy,” Steph said, her phone dinging in her hand. “Driver’s around the corner.”
John frowned, wondering if she was talking about Lawson—or Samuels. Both men had homes outside of California and had good relationships with Steph, though Samuels was closer with her…
“Samuels?” he finally asked, tilting his head down to look at her.
Her pretty brown eyes snapped to him, confused, “Yeah.”
He couldn’t help but laugh, “Not in a million years.”
“What? Really? How come?! He’s so fucking—difficult.”
They both laughed now, holding each other as they did. Tears sprang to the corner of his eyes, and he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed this hard.
“Shit,” Steph sighed. Phone dinging once more as headlights turned from the road into the parking lot. “I need to get my Cupid arrow tuned, or something, ‘cause I swear I thought you and…” the bar door swung open, and Lawson stepped out, alone.
John’s heart hammered, and he made sure to keep his face neutral as Steph released him and kissed the side of his cheek. “Watch out for that one,” she murmured firmly.
He eyed her questioningly.
“The cowboy’s got a crush the size of Mount Rushmore on you,” Steph hiccupped, and quickly covered her mouth. “Shit, I didn’t say that. Nor did you hear it. I told him last month he needed to rein it in. He’s a good kid, John. Let him down nicely, okay?”
He nodded, pulse ticking so loudly at her words that he barely noticed as she slipped into her Uber and waved from the back passenger window, the car returning to the road and disappearing out of sight.
Was that true? Did Lawson have a crush on him, or was it just their subtle change in relationship in the last few weeks she saw? No, Steph said she talked to Lawson last month about him. He sucked in a breath, realizing then that Lawson had been the one who pursued him, not the other way around.
Lawson’s pale blue eyes were on him now, searching, waiting.
John swallowed and nodded, tilting his head to the side alley behind the bar and heading there first.
He barely made it a few feet into the alley when he felt Lawson’s hands on his body, pushing him against the brick building of the bar and kissing him hungrily. Devouringly.
Jesus fuck.
John’s body reacted instantly, grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him closer, their bodies pressed together as he kissed back.
Lawson let out a harsh breath against his lips, pulling back to kiss a hot, urgent trail down his jawline and to his neck.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this all evening,” Lawson murmured, his mouth opening over John’s raging pulse and feeling him roughly suck on his neck.
John’s gasp turned into a moan as Lawson’s teeth grazed the spot he was sucking beneath his ear before soothing the pain with his tongue.
His cock undulated impatiently against John, grinding him into the wall.
Lawson was marking him—branding him—claiming him.
Yes!
John’s cock leaked with such raging need that he reached between them and grabbed the hard denim of Lawson’s jeans, panting.
“I want you here,” Lawson whispered.
John trembled, and before he could react, Lawson dropped to his knees in the dirty, rain-soaked alleyway and opened his jeans, unfastening his belt with quick, sure hands.
Before he could stop him, Lawson reached inside, pulled out his cock and straight into the hot sheath of his mouth.
“Fuck, Lawson…” he gasped.
He pumped forward into his wet mouth, feeling the stretch of his lips around his grith and the touch of his tip at the back of his throat. “You’re such a good…”
Lover? Boyfriend? Fling? None of those worked.
The base of his balls began to tingle and he closed his eyes, all thoughts vanishing into sensation and this moment. This stolen moment.
Lawson reached between his own legs, pulling out his cock and unexpectedly releasing John from his mouth.
He stood, wrapping his hand around the back of John’s neck, his other free hand pushing their cocks together, letting them slide and pulsate as one.
Lawson’s dick was longer, while John’s was a bit thicker.
And yet, they seemed to fit perfectly together beneath Lawson’s hand as he fisted over them and began to pump, rocking his hips back and forth.
But it wasn’t enough friction. He needed more.
John moved, capturing their cocks, and together Lawson and he pumped and thrusted against each other.
Thoughts of where Lawson had been and of other people ogling him pierced his mind like a splinter.
He gritted his teeth, pivoted on his heel, and with years of maneuvering people onto gurneys, flipped positions with him, pushing his back against the wall and crowding him.
Lawson let out a whoosh of breath from his lips, eyes dancing with pleasure at being manhandled.