24. Thea
twenty-four
“Okay, so I had Levi put together this three-person bunk bed for the boys in my art studio. It’s treehouse-themed. Do you think they’ll like that?” I pushed open the door to my art studio to show Jo what I’d been working on all week. All of my easels, tables, and art supplies had either been packed for the trip or put into storage, and now, the best room in my house had been transformed into a kid’s wonderland.
Lenny paid for the furnishings because she’s a damn saint, and she said she’d always wanted to buy toy trains and race cars. She and I picked out the bunk bed, a tree-shaped bookcase, a drawing desk, and a LEGO building table. Then Levi and I painted the room to look like a jungle.
Jo gazed around the room and covered her mouth with a single hand. “Whoa, Thea. You did all of this?”
I shrugged. “Me, Lenny, and Levi.”
Jo blinked back her tears. “I think you might be one of the best people I’ve ever met. Thank you.” She hugged me, and I let her. I might have even hugged her back. Who knows? “My kids are going to lose their minds over this room.”
“Good. Crazy people are my favorite.” I stepped away from Jo’s embrace. Feelings were getting a bit easier for me, but they still weren’t in my comfort zone. “I’ll be out tomorrow morning, and then you and your boys can move in.”
I’d asked Jo to house-sit for the year I’d be gone, which worked perfectly for her since her lease was about to end. She’d tried to offer me rent, but I didn’t want her money. I wanted her to have a year with no rent or house payment so that she could save and get ahead or even take the kids to Disneyland.
I did it because I cared about Jo and her little shits. I did it because Levi made me feel like a good person. I did it for my mom. Maybe a massive part of me had shifted, and instead of thinking of ways to leave this world, I’d spend my days showing my mom all of the reasons to stay. I thought she’d like that.
“Thank you again. Thank you a million times. We’ll take such good care of the place while you’re gone.” Jo’s blue eyes were full of sincerity that I hadn’t seen since childhood.
“I know you will.” She would. I could see the change in Jo. Maybe Jo had only needed one person to believe in her all this time.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down at the message from Levi.
She’s here!
I grinned and typed a reply.
I’ll grab Lenny!
“Is that Levi?” Jo asked with a smile.
“Yeah.” I nodded and slid my phone into my back pocket.
“He’s cute,” her smile grew. “He is not the kind of guy I thought you’d end up with, but you guys are perfect together.” Then Jo laughed. “Sorry that I kissed him that one time.”
I smiled. “I forgot about that. I needed a gut punch to wake up and realize what I felt for him. It was good for me.” I gave my art studio one last look and said, “Well, I have to run to the bar, but here are the keys for tomorrow.” I pressed the house and mailbox keys into Jo’s palm.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, Thea. You’re giving me more than you could ever know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.”
“Meh. Don’t repay me. Pay it forward.”
Jo gave me a short, determined nod, and we walked out the front door together. I had one more important thing to do.
When I pulled up to Lenny’s house, she rushed out the front door. “Hi, honey!” she called. “I’m so sorry, but I have to cancel our lunch plans today. A pipe burst at the bar, and the staff needs me!”
They didn’t need her. The bar was fine. I’d told Desi to call my aunt and fake an emergency exactly two minutes ago. I had to up the stakes on this colossal surprise and really play with Lenny’s emotions. Maybe I was a decent person these days, but I still needed to maintain at least some of my exasperating ways.
“Oh no! Let me drive you there.” I donned my poker face.
“Thanks!” Lenny rushed down the driveway and climbed into my passenger seat. While I drove, she clucked over me like an auntie hen. “Did you pack your heating pad? And your wedge pillow? Will there be room for it?”
“Yeah. Both are already in the trailer. Levi left me plenty of room for my stuff.” I smiled at my aunt’s concern.
“Okay, and you have enough pairs of compression leggings? We can go shopping this evening after I finish at the bar.” Lenny frowned at the red light before us and fidgeted with her beaded bracelet.
“Lenore, I promise I have everything I need. Stop fussing.” I glanced over at her, feeling pleased with her agitated state. It would melt away the second she walked into The Station.
“Alright, alright. I’m going to miss you, and I want to make sure you’ll have everything you need.” Lenny slid her bracelet onto the opposite wrist and smoothed her green sundress.
“I’m going to miss you, too. But I’ll call every week, and it’s only a year.” I wasn’t getting choked up. That would be stupid. I swallowed the lump in my throat and made a left turn. We were almost at the bar.
Lenny sighed. “If it were any other asshole trying to take you away in a damn trailer, I’d put my foot down. This Levi is the only man I’ve ever met that I trust to take care of you.”
In the past week, my two favorite people had finally spent some quality time together. Levi delighted Lenny with his sarcasm and patience. Lenny awed Levi with her warmth and wisdom. I hoped that my aunt would become a sort of surrogate mother for my boyfriend, too. He needed her. He needed what I’d been lucky to have my entire life.
We pulled up to a nearly empty parking lot at The Station. “Oh shit,” Lenny sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt. “It must be a bad leak if Desi and Jason had to close for lunch.”
“Ugh. Yeah.” I accidentally smiled, and Lenny shot me a suspicious glare.
We walked up to the front doors, Lenny several steps ahead of me. She burst through and was not met by Desi, Jason, or a burst pipe. Instead, the bar was empty except for two people sitting in a corner booth. The painfully attractive one facing us was Levi. He smiled at the woman across from him, clearly charming her with his good nature. His warm, brown eyes met mine across the bar.
Home.Butterflies and summer breeze settled in my chest.
My aunt stood a few feet ahead of me, frozen, staring at the woman with wild, black and gray curls cascading over the back of the booth. Lenny turned to look at me, placing a trembling hand over her heart.
I whispered, “She still loves you. Surprise.”
It took me a grand total of five minutes to find Marie Orville, call her, and convince her to come and sweep Lenny off her feet. Her flight arrived this morning, and Levi went to pick her up at the airport and bring her to The Station.
When my aunt made no move toward Marie, I stepped forward and gave her shoulder a light shove.
Levi smiled and said something quietly to Marie before sliding out of the booth. Marie quickly turned and spotted my aunt. Her gorgeous face lit up, and she stood. Marie and Lenny remained still, slowly taking in the sight of each other.
I didn’t understand their slowness. To me, love felt urgent and even feverish. I thought of each night I’d spent with Levi since his arrival in Durango and our hot, gasping, desperate need for each other. Even now, it bothered me that he was across the bar and not in my arms. But maybe mature love could be soft and patient, more deep and intricate. I looked forward to experiencing that sort of love with Levi, too.
Finally, Lenny took the first step, and Marie followed suit. They embraced, and the years between them melted away in an instant. Lenny stepped back and took Marie’s face in her hands. “Exactly as beautiful as the last time I saw you.”
Marie laughed— a happy sound from my childhood, and gently stroked Lenny’s hand. “So are you, Len. God, it’s so good to see you. I don’t think a day has passed that I haven’t thought of you.”
As if my aunt just remembered that Levi and I were still in the room, she whipped around to give me a look that landed somewhere between accusation and gratitude. “You did this, Thea?”
“I guess we’re not dealing with a burst pipe then, huh? Phew.” I pretended to wipe the sweat from my brow. “Well, I guess I’ll head out. Levi and I still have some grocery shopping to do before we leave in the morning. But you two,” I pointed back and forth between Lenny and Marie, “You two should catch up! You know, since Marie’s here. By the way, isn’t it wild that she’s been thinking about moving back to Durango? Crazy town.” I motioned to my boyfriend. “Levi, shall we?”
My aunt returned to me and pulled me into her arms for a bone-crushing hug. “You sure are something, sweetie. What am I going to do without you for a whole year?”
I returned her hug and then stepped back. Glancing over Lenny’s shoulder at the ever-stunning Marie Orville, I said, “I can think of a few things you’ll do while I’m gone.”
Lenny’s mouth dropped open in shock, and she gently smacked my shoulder.
“What?” I laughed. “You can dish it, but you can’t take it?”
Lenny rolled her eyes at me, and Marie’s laugh dispelled any of my aunt’s remaining discomfort. “Oh, Thea. You’re still a mischievous little delight, aren’t you? I’m sorry you’re leaving so soon. I would have loved spending more time with you, too.” Marie stepped up beside my aunt and slid her arm around her waist like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“We’ll be back before you know it.” I smiled at Marie and took Levi’s hand when he arrived at my side. I tossed my car keys to Lenny. She’d already agreed to let me store my car in her garage for the year. “Desi is bringing your lunch and a bottle of wine from the Italian place next door. She’ll reopen the bar as soon as you two finish. Take my car back home, and for the love of god, enjoy each other.”
I gave my aunt and the love of her life one more smile and wave and then walked out of The Station with Levi.
“Do you have the grocery list?” I asked as we walked to his truck.
“Of course. Right here.” He held up his phone and smiled. Thank fuck he was an organized person. I would have scribbled the list on the back of a receipt and lost it hours ago.
“What would I do without you?” I smiled and nudged him with my elbow.
Levi shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know, Thea. You’re so lucky I wandered into this bar almost a year ago.”
His words were sarcastic, but he was right.
We finished our grocery shopping and spent one more night in my house, which was more sex than sleep. Now, it was time to hit the road. The air still carried a slight chill that the rising sun hadn’t yet chased away, and the butterflies in my stomach swirled with active excitement.
Levi checked the drawers and cupboards in the trailer to make sure everything was secure, and I locked my front door with the spare key, then stowed it in the hidden compartment on the scrap metal angel. This farmer’s market find was an ironic purchase since I didn’t believe in angels, but somehow, it reminded me of my mom. I smiled at my anti-angel and quietly whispered goodbye to my little house. Then, I hurried down the driveway to the adventure that awaited me.
When I opened the passenger door of Levi’s truck, I saw a rumpled napkin on the seat. I picked it up and called over my shoulder, “Clean up your trash, you slob. If this is how this whole trip will be—” I started to tease Levi, but I stopped short when I saw which napkin I held.
Levi’s list stared up at me, the one he wrote when we first met. He’d scribbled out a few things like Have a one-night stand and Get blackout drunk, and he’d written NA beside them. Nearly everything else was crossed off, though, including Fall in love. I rolled my eyes and smiled when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
He kissed my neck and pointed to Attend a punk rock concert. “There’s a punk festival in Vegas in October. I got us tickets and a nice hotel room so we could have a break from camping and nature.”
“Good.” I laughed. “Nature is so pretentious, you know? I’m going to need a break from all of its in-your-face beauty and perfection.”
Levi laughed and hugged me tighter. “Stupid nature.”
I turned to face him and gave him one of his favorite long kisses. When our lips parted, I asked, “So what’s next when we finish this list?”
Levi grinned. “I don’t know. But isn’t that exciting? Not knowing what’s next?”
“I guess, weirdo.” But I felt those words in the soul I now believed I had. Not knowing what tomorrow would look like made me feel alive. “You ready for this?”
“So ready.” Levi kissed me again and then walked around to the driver’s side. Once we were situated in his truck, he handed me his phone. “Please pick some music. I know I can trust you here.”
I turned on Welcome to the Black Parade and watched a smile spread across Levi’s face at the first note. Damn, I loved that smile. I even loved the smile forcing its way onto my own face.
Falling for Levi taught me an interesting lesson. They say you can’t truly love another unless you love yourself first. But I believe entirely loving another can teach you how to love yourself.
This crazy man and I taught each other how to love ourselves.