Chapter 14
Kissing Kallias was an excellent distraction from the frustration and fear of the last half-hour.
She’d been certain she was about to find herself thrown into some dungeon somewhere, never to see the light of day again.
She’d already been calculating how long it would take Lucullus to figure out she was missing and what his chances of success would be in retrieving her.
But it hadn’t come to that, thanks to Kallias.
She slid her hand into his hair, glossy and soft against her fingers, and pulled him closer.
His breathing hitched as her leg crooked around his, angling their bodies together.
He was usually so calm, so composed—even in the face of Praetorians manhandling her, she would have thought him completely unaffected if she hadn’t known better.
So it gave her a thrill of satisfaction to hear the change in his breathing, feel the increased urgency beneath his touch as they kissed.
His hands found her waist, and she allowed him to guide her backward until her body found the wall of the alley behind her.
His fingertips skimmed up her throat, taking soft hold of her chin to tilt her face up to him.
His touch was so gentle, as if she were made of the most delicate glass, but his gentleness made her crave something rougher, darker.
She wanted to feel his restraint break, his refined manner snap.
She wanted him to succumb to his hunger and forget to be gentle.
Kallias’s mouth found a spot on her neck that made her gasp and arch against him.
Desire swelled, throbbing and insistent, between her legs, and she could already feel the stiff jut of his arousal against her belly.
Her body urged her to take him by the hand, lead him back to the ludus, and sink into bed with him.
But despite the temptation of that prospect, something made her hesitate. She was supposed to be keeping him at a distance. She had decided it was best that way.
And this—their bodies pressed together, heat burning between them—was the opposite of distance.
He must have sensed the direction of her thoughts, for when he next pulled back to catch his breath, he gazed down at her instead of going in for another kiss. He tucked a loosened curl of hair behind her ear, and even that innocuous touch made her shiver.
“Would you like me to walk you back to the ludus?” His tone was casual, but she sensed he was asking the very question she’d just been debating in her mind. Or maybe he was just being polite, offering his company so she wouldn’t be alone.
Lea wanted him, yes, but she was also overwhelmed, both by the events at the palace and the tangle of her feelings for him.
She needed solitude, time for her body and mind to relax.
It was like that after a fight, too; she sought isolation, often at the baths, until the residual tension finally left her.
“I can find my own way back,” she said.
His hand brushed the bandage on her arm. “I should pay you a visit in a few days to see if the stitches can be removed.”
She’d entirely forgotten she was injured.
Now, her wound gave an angry twinge, as if displeased at being ignored.
“Perhaps Tuesday?” That was the day before her next scheduled fight—the fight she’d told Kallias wasn’t going to happen.
It would be best for the stitches to come out before the match, so she wouldn’t have to worry about ripping them.
Now would have been a good time to confess to Kallias that she planned to ignore his decree about not fighting, but that would only cause an argument, and after what had just happened, she didn’t have the energy.
He nodded. “Tuesday.” Then he stepped away from her and left the alley, disappearing back toward the palace.
Lea meandered in the direction of the ludus.
Part of her just wanted to head straight to her room and curl up in bed, to finally allow her mind to relax, but a much louder part of her was hungry.
Apparently nearly getting oneself imprisoned or executed could stimulate the appetite like nothing else.
Once she reached the ludus, she headed toward the vaulted hall that housed the dining area, knowing she’d have to relay the whole ordeal to her friends as soon as they noticed she was back.
The room was crowded at this hour. Lea could have used that to her advantage, finding a surreptitious spot away from her two friends.
But that seemed rather craven, so once she acquired a bowl full of steaming, fragrant lentil stew, along with a stack of fresh flatbreads, she set her food down in the empty spot next to Ferox, opposite Jason.
“Surprised to see you back from the palace,” Jason said, delicately shelling a hard-boiled egg. “My bet was the handsome physician would sweep you away to be his concubine, and we’d never see you again.”
Lea raised her eyebrows as she dipped a piece of bread into the stew. “Physicians don’t have concubines.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that on your face?”
Lea lifted a hasty hand to her cheek. She’d forgotten all about the strike that must have left a splotch of blood behind. “I may have gotten punched in the face by a Praetorian Guard,” she admitted.
“You what?” Jason hissed, half-rising to his feet and bumping his bowl of stew. It nearly overturned, and Lea’s arm shot out to steady it. Next to her, Ferox slammed his cup down so hard she expected it to shatter. Thankfully, it was made of sturdy terracotta rather than glass.
Lea let out a resigned sigh and told the story of how she’d been stupid enough to overpower the emperor.
“And what did your physician have to say about all this?” Jason demanded. “He just stood there and watched while a squadron of guards roughed you up?”
“No—”
“Do you think either of us would have let those thugs lay a hand on someone we cared about?” Jason made an expansive hand gesture toward himself and Ferox.
“Luckily for me, Kallias is much smarter than either of you,” Lea retorted. “You idiots would have gotten yourselves killed, and then what use would you be?” Kallias’s way of defending her was cleverer, subtler, and definitely more effective than the brute force Jason or Ferox would have employed.
Though at the time, the manner of his defense had infuriated her.
I won fair and square, she’d wanted to shout.
The emperor did not let me win. But finally, a tenuous thread of self-preservation had intruded, and she’d kept her mouth shut as Kallias worked his magic.
He’d been magnificent—a few careful, well-crafted words had completely dissipated the emperor’s senseless fury.
“I don’t know,” Jason muttered, sounding unconvinced. “You’ll do as you wish, of course, but this physician seems like a step down from Hector.”
Lea went still. She’d never spoken of her involvement with Hector to either of them, only recently revealing it to Ferox. “How do you know about that?” She swiveled to glare at Ferox. “Did you tell him?”
“Of course not,” Ferox replied, daring to sound offended.
Jason’s gaze slid to Ferox. “Wait, he knows? I didn’t know for sure—I only suspected. Wasn’t that hard to figure out.”
“I figured it out, too,” Ferox said with a smugness that made her want to punch him. “Lea confirmed it before my last fight.”
Lea pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to be in her room, alone, not having this conversation.
Or better yet, at the baths, sinking into a steaming pool with no one around to pester her.
“So you both knew I was sleeping with Hector and you never said anything about it?”
She removed her palms from her eyes in time to see Jason shrug. “When one of your friends decides to start bedding another, discretion seems like the right choice.”
“Agreed,” Ferox said.
She didn’t want to talk about any of that now.
True, Hector and Kallias were about as different as men could be, both in appearance and personality—Hector burly, gregarious, and endearingly oafish, and Kallias lithe, cultivated, and cool-headed.
Her desire for them felt different too; with Hector, it was simple, like taking a bite of a food she knew she’d enjoy.
With Kallias, wanting him felt more complicated. Their lives were so different, and neither of them were free to do as they pleased.
No matter the complications, she wasn’t interested in hearing Jason’s opinion on Kallias. Not when she could still feel the press of his lips on hers, the warmth of his body, the gentle confidence in his hands. Not when she’d just watched him stand up for her to the emperor himself.
Abruptly, she rose from the table, clutching her bowl in one hand. “See you later,” she muttered, and left the dining hall.