Chapter 13
Gio
Icouldn’t stop thinking about the kiss in the kitchen.
It had been days since that moment and it was as vivid in my mind as when it happened.
Fuck, I could practically still feel his tongue on mine and his hardness pressing into my thigh.
He’d given me permission to kiss him anytime, but I was trying not to give in.
The next time I kissed him I might not be able to stop, I barely had the last time.
This wasn’t me. Sex and intimacy weren’t priorities in my life, and I was completely fine with that.
Had been for twenty years. But now that I’d had a taste of desire with Jasper and the ease in which he showed affection, I wanted more.
Except… I didn’t. I didn’t want to feel out of control.
So I’d been spending more time with the bees, more time meditating and trying to rein in whatever it was that was building between me and Jasper.
Sitting among the bees only helped so much when I would come back to the house to find Jasper with his hair tied up, or with his curls hanging around his face, or wearing overalls and a crop top, or wearing crocheted shorts, or…
fuck. Anything Jasper did or wore didn’t help the situation.
Especially not when I would catch him in quiet moments with the kids, like helping Nicky with her homework, or gossiping with Yahir about celebrity relationship drama.
Jasper really seemed to be intentional about giving his time to them.
Of course, I knew part of it was trying to keep himself occupied while waiting for his work bench to be ready, but it wasn’t just that.
He was showing an interest in each individually, and it really touched my heart to see.
Jasper was finding his place here, and the kids had all taken a liking to him.
Most surprising was the way Noah seemed to be growing more comfortable with him.
We didn’t talk as much as I would like, but I was trying to give him space to process and grieve the changes in his and Nicky’s lives.
It wasn’t that we didn’t connect at all, there were rare moments when Noah would show his appreciation.
He was slow to trust, though, and I knew he was bracing himself for the possibility of having his life uprooted again.
When the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally revealed that there were, in fact, conditions, it was hard to allow that kind of bond again.
I wasn’t trying to replace their parents, but I was trying to allow them to know and feel that they were safe and that they weren’t going anywhere unless they chose to.
It took time. Jasper had the benefit of being younger and not looking or feeling like a parental figure, but like a cool, fun uncle who was easier to connect to.
Nicky and Noah were watching a show after dinner.
Noah tended to watch from behind a book, but it was his time to unwind with his sister.
I was doing dishes in the kitchen but had enough of a line of sight into the living room to see Jasper ask to join them.
He sat beside Noah, and, at first, was simply watching the show with them.
I could hear their voices rise and glanced over to find Jasper and Noah facing each other, talking animatedly.
As much as I wanted to give them space, my curiosity was piqued to see what they were going on about.
It was rare Noah showed any kind of excitement.
I turned off the faucet in an effort to eavesdrop, totally uncool, but I couldn’t help it.
“Yes! That’s exactly what I thought when I first read it,” Noah exclaimed.
“Right? Like it’s so obvious the author has written himself into the story, you just know he was pining for the lover he could never have,” Jasper replied.
They continued their conversation and I tried to return my focus to the dirty dishes.
A smile stretched wide as I scrubbed melted cheese off the plates from the omelets Frankie and Jasper made for dinner.
Books. I should have known. I figured they were a security blanket of sorts, and tried to simply leave Noah be when he was reading, but Jasper managed to find something he wanted to talk about. The man was remarkable.
The rest of the evening, I was completely distracted, as I tried not to look like I was watching him, but Jasper kept drawing my attention, even without meaning to.
Everything he did enraptured me. Every laugh, every touch, every moment with my kids, every glance my way, and every shared smile.
He made me happy. And he made me want. Not just physically, though, yes, that was getting harder to ignore, but emotionally, too. He made me want this to be real.
When we retired to our room that night, Jasper was extra fidgety.
I had already changed into my sweat shorts and A-shirt, while Jasper stood, wearing his pants, as if he was debating taking them off.
He would usually be stripped down to his briefs by now.
Jasper said he slept better without clothes, and since I’d already seen him in his underwear the first time he stayed the night, I didn’t think anything of it.
Of course, it had been torturous, too, with so much bare skin on display, and waking up each morning with his chest on mine.
Jasper usually was gracious enough to ignore the stiffy I often woke with.
Something was different tonight, though. He didn’t get in bed right away. He was standing with his hands on his hips with an expression that looked miles away. The uncertainty I saw made my protectiveness flare up.
“Hey, what’s going on?”
Jasper bit his lip and looked at me, as if trying to decide what to say.
“Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it,” I reassured.
He sucked on his teeth and gave a slight nod. “Okay. So the thing is… I’m…”
I sat up with concern when he hesitated. “Yes?”
“I’m so fucking horny.”
Oh. Not what I was expecting him to say. My cheeks immediately felt hot. “Uh, okay?”
He came over and sat on the bed beside me.
Drawing in a deep breath, he began talking fast. “Sorry. I haven’t, well, you know, since the night before the wedding, because I’ve felt weird about jerking off in your house.
I know the siblings are in bed, but I didn’t want to sit in the living room and go at it in case someone woke up, and I don’t want to use the guest room in case one of the others needs to stop by.
I thought about going to my apartment, but that made it feel dirty, like it’s something to hide.
But it’s not. It’s a natural thing. I could use the shower, but that felt weird, too.
So, I have a proposal.”I swallowed hard at his candidness.
The vision of him in the shower, dripping wet, while stroking himself, had my own dick reacting.
I had no idea where he was going with this, but the last proposal had turned out pretty well, so I was willing to do almost anything he asked. “Okay?”
“We’re friends, we care about each other. Right?”
That answer was easy. “Yes. Absolutely.”
“I need the release. I need it so fucking badly, and I have a feeling you do, too. We’re sharing a space, but that doesn’t mean we both need to suffer, so why not allow ourselves that? I say we put on some porn so it’s no pressure, and we can take care of our needs, and move on.”
Watch porn with him? The idea was as titillating as it was intimidating.
Two decades had passed since I was last naked with someone, but he was right.
With how out of control I’d been feeling, and how many times I’d had to ignore an erection since he moved in, I needed it, too.
Admittedly, having something to focus on and not have to think about Jasper beside me seemed like a good idea.
It was like having a conversation in the car that allowed you to go deeper without the pressure of having to look at the other person.
“Yes,” I said in a hushed tone.
“We don’t have to. I could just go in the bathroom…”
“No!” I interrupted, a little more forcefully than I intended. The idea of knowing what he was doing in the bathroom might just kill me. Now that the offer was out there, my cock ached and pleaded for attention. “We can do that.”
“Really? You’re sure?” Jasper’s hopeful expression made my dick throb.
I never wanted anything more than I did in that moment. “I’m sure.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Jasper popped up and went to the bathroom.
I sat there with a pronounced dick print in my sweat shorts and didn’t have a clue what to do with myself or how to sit.
I propped my pillow up and leaned against the headboard, trying to look as casual as I could while waiting to watch porn with my husband. When did this become my life?
Jasper returned with a purple tube in his hand, and he grabbed his laptop on the way.
He dropped the lube between us and my heart rate skyrocketed.
Holy shit! Was this actually happening? Yes.
Yes it was. Jasper slid his pants off, taking his underwear with it and sat on the bed completely naked.
There was a naked man in my bed. Not just any man, but this sweet, beautiful person with a wild spirit.
This was Jasper. My Jasper. It took every ounce of strength I had not to stare.
Setting the laptop between our legs so we could both see it easily, Jasper opened a porn site. “Do you have any preferences? What do you like to watch?”
The casual tone in his voice did nothing to calm the panic in my mind.
Was this some sort of a test? If it was, I was going to fail, because I had no answer.
None. With the graphics on the screen, I was seconds away from calling it off, except…
fuck, I was hornier than ever. I turned off the lamp by my bed, needing some cover in this situation.
Of course, that only made the laptop gleam brighter between us.
Jasper slid a glance to me. “Do you want me to pick?”