Chapter 14
Jasper
Iwas bouncing on my feet, anxiously awaiting the install.
The concrete had set and I might have danced around a little to celebrate the new floor.
Gio watched me with a look of adoration that made me feel all gooey.
I was really glad that he was here for this big moment.
When we were in my storage, I perused through the smaller glass rods, picking out a few colors to start off with.
I’d do a big haul when I had all of my shelving in place here, but until then I would keep most of them in storage, where I knew they wouldn’t get banged around.
George’s team had mounted the torch and connected the propane and oxygen tanks to it, and were now installing the desktop kiln.
I had a much bigger one that would have its own space in the barn, but this one would do for smaller projects.
It was a crucial piece. Without a kiln to lower the temperature of the glass gradually, it would shatter.
“Hey, Papa, how’s it going?” Yahir popped his head through the door.
“Great. I think they’re just about done,” Gio responded. He was leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the barn, trying to keep out of the way, while still curiously watching the setup.
“Are you busy? Do you want to stay while I try it out?” I asked, wanting to include the young man.
“You don’t mind?” His brows rose with a hopeful expression.
“Not at all.”
“I think that’s it. You’re all hooked up and ready. The switch on the wall there will turn on the vent hood for just this area. Why don’t you take a look?” George stepped back and admired his work.
Beautiful. It looked beautiful. Well, okay, it looked industrial. The slate black backer board covered the wall and the desk. They were thin, cement boards that would be able to withstand the heat of the torch and any stray molten glass.
Seeing the work space come together, I was hit with a wave of emotion. Gio crossed the room to stand behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. I leaned back against him as I took in the sight.
“It looks great,” he said, low enough for only me to hear it.
“It does.” I gave a nod and sniffed back the tears that wanted to escape. Stepping away from Gio, I shook George’s hand. “Thank you. Thank you so much. This is incredible.”
George smiled, looking pleased. “If you’re happy with that, I can’t wait until we get to finish and show you the rest.”
“Soon. I should be able to get the rest soon, I promise.” This would be it until I got to my trust fund. But at that moment, I didn’t care. What was before me felt like a huge accomplishment already.
“I think we’ll leave you to it. Let me know as soon as you’re ready to proceed. It’s been great working with you, Mr. Maldonado.” George and his team packed up and were gone. For the first time I was in a space that felt like it was mine, even if it was only half-done.
Yahir approached carefully, assessing the intimidating equipment. “Are you going to turn it on?”
“Fuck, yes, I am!” I replied with enthusiasm.
“Cool,” Yahir said with a look of wonder.
Finding the box that had all of my protective gear, I set it on the counter top.
As I began pulling things out, I started explaining everything.
One, as a way to remind myself after not having done it in a while, and two, any moment could be a teachable moment, especially when it came to safety for working around the fire.
“After doing this for a while, you’ll learn what is comfortable for you to work in and what allows for the dexterity you want, but until you’re confident and your movements are automatic, it’s better to take extra precaution.”
I gathered as much hair as I could and tied it back.
Pulling out the Nomex hood, which looked a lot like a balaclava, covering my hair, face, and neck to protect from any sparks or shards.
When I had been doing glasswork more consistently, I’d managed without the head covering, hating the way it smooshed my hair, but I was going to start carefully, especially with eyes watching me.
Next, I put a leather apron on, covering my shirt and jeans, and adding an extra layer to protect all the valuable bits.
When I pulled out the Kevlar sleeves and gloves, I stared at my hand.
The ring on my finger would heat up with the proximity to the torch’s flame which could be dangerous and also risks warping the ring.
I’d never had any hesitation before when it came to removing jewelry, but this wasn’t just any ring I had in my collection.
This one meant something. It may have come about as part of a ruse, but I’d worn it around the clock for the ten days since Gio first placed it there.
I was finding it harder to take off. Safety first, I reminded myself.
Sliding the ring off my finger, I turned to Gio and held it out to him. “Will you keep this safe for me?”
His expression was so warm and full of affection that it made me melt under it. “Of course, beautiful.”
I sighed softly at hearing the word he called me and how easily he said it, and offered him a smile, before handing him my ring.
Gio took it and shoved it deep into his pocket, patting it to ensure it was tucked safely away.
My hand looked naked now. Funny, how quickly I’d gotten used to seeing it there.
Returning my attention to the table, I pre-set the kiln and started the torch, before putting the Kevlar gloves on. They made it difficult to do really fine details, and I didn’t usually wear them, but I was familiarizing myself with a new setup and not willing to take any chances.
“Glasses are important.” I held up the specialized pair to show Yahir. “These will filter the intense yellow flares, allowing you to see your work more clearly, and they’ll block the infrared light which can cause long-term damage.”
Yahir nodded with fascination. Now that I was covered, I asked him to bring me the rods and tools I brought.
Sitting on a stool in front of the torch, the flame burned bright, and I slid the glasses into place.
It was shooting up at an angle toward the wall.
My heart raced at the sight of it. It was such a thrill.
The danger level was high. All it took was one slip, one wrong move, and it could cause a severe burn.
If that wasn’t risky enough, I was about to stick thin glass rods directly into the flame and work them with paddles, tongs, and picks, getting the shapes I wanted.
I could feel Gio’s presence behind me, though he remained quiet, allowing me to concentrate.
Yahir was close, too, and I realized I was going to need to buy more eyewear.
“It’s going to be hard to watch because of how bright the flame is, so try not to look directly at it.
I’ll show you what I’m doing as I pull it out of the fire.
One of the most important things is learning that your hands have different jobs and need different tools.
Keep your right-hand stuff on the right and your left-hand stuff on the left.
You never want to cross in front or reach over the flame.
Here we go.”God, it felt so damn good to do this again.
It took me a minute to get a feel for it and I had a few pieces of glass that didn’t bond where I wanted them, but soon, the muscle memory came back and I was working the yellow and black together; pulling, poking, shaping.
After a little while, I added the clear glass, and it took shape exactly how I wanted it.
When it was done, I turned the torch off and held the creation carefully with the tongs, while pushing the hood back.
“No fucking way! That’s so badass!” Yahir exclaimed.
Gio stared at it, and I could see a look of awe mixed with pride, and something else. “You made a bee.”
“In honor of Queen Beeatrix the First.”
Gio snorted but he met my gaze and whispered, “Incredible.”
“I’m going to put her in the kiln and maybe make a few more things, because I’ve been itching for so long to do this and it feels fucking amazing.”
Gio kissed the top of my head. “Have fun and be safe. I think I’ll head inside for a bit.”
“Can I stay?” Yahir asked.
“Sure, but maybe grab some sunglasses, at least, to help protect your eyes.”
“Okay!” He excitedly hopped up and ran toward the house.
Gio chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that eager before.”
“Who knows? Maybe he’ll decide to take up glasswork, too. One of my goals was always to have a place where I could share my love for glass and pass it on to others.”
“You’re amazing, Jasper. Truly.” He gave my shoulder a squeeze and left me alone.
While waiting for Yahir, I began collecting different color rods, planning out other items I could make with what I brought.
Lampwork was fine detail work, but you could knock out a few pieces in a short amount of time, whereas glassblowing took a lot more time and dedication for each piece.
After Yahir came back, I took the time to introduce him to all of the tools and explained what they did.
He sat and listened, completely enraptured.
It was probably the longest he'd been silent, not interrupting to crack a joke.
I'd felt the same way the first time I saw this done.
Watching someone manipulate glass was a life-altering moment for me.
I could see that same look in Yahir's eyes and I was thrilled to be able to share this with him.
With the torch back on, I worked as slowly as the glass allowed, talking through each step and movement.
Yahir would ask a question every so often, but mostly he just observed until I had finished several pieces and turned the torch off again.
With those items in the kiln, I began to clean up, asking Yahir for tools by name to see what he remembered.
“So, what do you think?” I asked as I put away all the accessories I'd been wearing. I ran a hand through my sweat-soaked hair, trying to peel it away from my scalp.
“I think I want to learn more. Would that, maybe, be okay?” The hesitant way he asked tugged at my heart, like he thought I would reject him. I knew that feeling all too well. How could a parent not look at their kid and want to give them the world?
“Absolutely. Just promise me you won't try to do it on your own. You're not there yet and it's quite dangerous.”
“I won't, I swear.”
I had a sense that Yahir craved something to belong to, hell, I'd had a lot of that myself growing up, and I was finally in a position to offer him something. I'd never really had anything to offer before… besides money. I held out my hand to him and said, “Welcome to Kiss My Glass.”
His eyes lit up and I could see the excitement in his face, but he caught himself and responded with a simple, “Cool.”
As we were getting ready to leave the barn, Yahir stopped me and cast his gaze toward the ground. “Hey, Jasper. I'm sorry for all the, uh, comments I've made.”
I clapped a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention up.
Nervously, he ran a hand over his patchy beard, looking so much younger than he tried to portray himself.
“It's okay. I know everything with me and Gio has happened really fast. You all just barely met me and now we're married and I moved in.”
“It's not that we don't like you.”
“I know,” I replied quickly, hoping to reassure him. Since the first dinner I crashed, I never felt like they didn't want me around. “It's a big change, though, and that can be hard.”
Yahir met my gaze. “Yeah. I mean, we've never seen him with someone before. Never. But… Papa seems really happy with you and it's nice to see.”
The corners of my mouth tugged up. “I'm really happy with him, too.”
Yahir smiled. “That's good.”
“Listen, I'm totally open if you want to ask any questions about me or about what brought me here, but how about Gio and I worry about our own equipment and what we do with it?” I winked, trying to keep it light.
Color rose on his face as he gave a nod. “Yeah. Okay.” Yahir played with his beard, looking as if there was more he wanted to say.
“What is it?” I prompted.
He quirked his lips to the side before he answered. “So the thing is… I know I tease a lot, but I, uh, don't actually have as much experience as I like people to believe I do.”
Ah. There it was. The inner part of me wanted to cheer and shout that he was opening up to me, but I tried to channel Gio and keep a calm exterior. “That's okay, Yahir. Really. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for.”
“I want to, though. Fuck, I want it so bad, but it's hard to let people in, you know?”
“I do, actually. I grew up in a world where everyone had ulterior motives, so relationships were hard for me. What I have with Gio is the realest thing I've ever experienced. He makes me feel safe, like I don't have to wait for the other shoe to drop, or worry that I'll be betrayed.”
Yahir stared at me with an awed expression.
It was strange how true that was. My fake—not fake—marriage was the strongest relationship I'd ever had.
Wherever it might lead us, whether to something deeper, or maintaining the friendship that was growing, I had never been with someone who I felt so completely myself with.
“Find someone that makes you feel safe,” I told Yahir.
It wasn't the quality I would have put on a dating profile, but it was what I needed more than anything.
“As far as sex goes, I'm happy to answer any questions about the mechanics of it in as little or as much detail as you want, as long as it's not about the specifics when it comes to me and your papa. Deal?”
Yahir smiled wide. “Deal. Thank you.”
He tucked himself against me, and squeezed me in a tight hug. It was funny considering he was bigger than I was both in body type and height, but he was still just a kid. My kid.
When he pulled away, he gave me a sheepish look. He thumped his fist against the door frame of the barn and kicked his foot. “Right. Well, okay. I'll catch you later.”
“Later,” I said as I tried to hide my smile at his awkward exit, not wanting him to feel embarrassed, or any more than he probably did at his confession.
Yahir's confiding in me meant a lot, and I was feeling damn proud of myself and of him, as I replayed the conversation.
Another parenting win as far as I was concerned.
Then there was Gio. Gio, who made me feel safe.
Gio, who made me feel seen, and allowed me room to be myself.