Chapter 38 #2
“One night, my hearing aid started acting up.” He starts hurriedly as if trying to get through the story quickly.
“I was in the middle of a crowded event, and everything suddenly went quiet, like a wall of sound dropped. I went to find her, told her I needed help getting somewhere quieter, that I couldn’t hear a thing.
It wasn’t bad, but… I fucking panicked. And she…
she left me there like I was some inconvenience.
Made up some excuse I couldn’t hear and disappeared into the crowd. ”
“Fucking bitch,” I mutter, making him laugh.
“That was the moment I realized what she was in it for. She didn’t care about me, not really.
It was all about the perks, the lifestyle.
And when I ended things, she threatened to go to the media with everything she knew.
I ended up paying her off to keep her quiet.
” The bitterness in his tone is unmistakable.
“It’s… hard to know who to trust after that, you know?
Something like that teaches you not to let people in. ”
I hum in sympathy and understanding. “I’ve learned the same.”
“Yet here we are.” He presses the softest of kisses to the place where my neck meets my shoulder. “Friends, after all.”
Friends.
With Koen’s arms wrapped around me and the pieces of ourselves we’ve shared settling between us, something shifts inside me.
Something similar to safety that I’ve never allowed myself to feel.
It’s dark and quiet, but here, in the shelter of his arms, I feel my confession rising, aching to be let out, to be released.
With all my courage gathered and a shaky breath, I say, “I… I lost my twin sister.”
He stiffens in surprise. “You’re a twin too?”
“And my boyfriend,” I continue. “They… they both died in a car crash. And it was all my fault, Koen.”
His arms tighten around me, but he says nothing this time, instead silently encouraging me to go on, to let it out.
So I do. “I stole a car that night,” I admit, each word heavy with the weight of years of guilt, shame, and grief.
“A fucking Mustang.” I huff. “And then I… I urged him to go faster, to…” My voice starts to shake, and a tear slips down my cheek as I whisper, “To speed away from the police.” I swallow against the ragged knot in my throat before confessing, even more quietly, more brokenly, “All the while, my twin was in the back seat, begging us to stop.”
I’m hardly aware of Koen as he remains quiet behind me, barely registering his attempts to soothe me with a gentle stroke down my arm.
“We… we crashed. And they were both…” My voice breaks completely, and the dam inside me shatters. “They were both dead on impact. I… I survived. I didn’t deserve to.” Wracking sobs take over my body, and I crumble, my misery spilling out in a torrent of grief I can’t hold back.
Koen pulls me hard against him, almost making it difficult to breathe as if he’s trying to absorb my pain. His breath is warm against my ear as he whispers, almost a lullaby, “It wasn’t your fault, precious.”
“Eight years…” I gasp raggedly, “… eight years, and it still feels as though it just happened. I miss them every single day. It’s like… I’m barely holding on.”
He shifts me sideways onto his lap with ease, one hand coming up to cradle my cheek. “You’re not just holding on,” he says firmly, his eyes locking onto mine. “You’re so damn brave.”
A bitter laugh escapes me. “You consider relying on alcohol and meaningless sex, brave? Because that’s what I’m doing, Koen. That’s how I get through each day. And you’ve taken one of those things away from me.”
He frowns, but his hand remains gentle, his thumb brushing lightly over my chin.
“You’re here,” he says it with praise, his tone unwavering.
“That’s not nothing. You’re surviving. Every single day, you’re fighting, even when it feels like it’s just barely.
That’s courage. I know how it feels when everyone you love dies around you.
My mom, my sister, Uncle Oscar. I lived it.
Living like this is hard when we’re the ones who are still here. ”
That breaks something inside me, and another sob escapes, raw and unrestrained.
He wraps me close, letting me sink into him as he guides me to lie half on top of him.
The cocoon of his arms is steady as his hand moves in slow, comforting circles on my back as I cry.
Gradually, the knot of grief and tension loosens enough for my sobs to soften, my breaths eventually falling in sync with his until all I’m left with is exhaustion.
As my tremors settle, he starts to shift away, pulling his arm back carefully, but I instinctively reach for him. “Can you stay? Please? I… I can’t be alone after… after thinking about them, talking about them.”
“Of course. I’ll stay as long as you need.”
Suddenly desperate to be comfortable, I slip off my leggings and hoodie, leaving myself in my T-shirt and panties, before I crawl under the covers. He hovers by the bed for a moment, looking almost lost, and I let out a sleepy yawn. “Get comfortable, Koen.”
He strips down to his T-shirt and boxers, then reaches up and removes his hearing aids, placing them carefully on the nightstand beside my bed.
He gives me an almost vulnerable smile, and it hits me how much he’s continuing to let his guard down too.
It wasn’t only in his words. He’s showing me something real through his actions.
He slips under the covers, settling beside me as he wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me close again.
Some adrenaline must have lingered from my emotional collapse because after several long moments of fidgeting, Koen commands, “Sleep.”
It’s barely a whisper, but it wraps around me like a weighted blanket. And even though there’s no hypnosis this time, no suggestion buried in his words, the safety he offers allows me to sink into it.
My eyes drift shut as I tune into the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beside me.
And before I even realize it, I’m drifting off, nestled securely in the quiet comfort of Koen Lane.
The night air is warm, and there’s a wild energy buzzing between the three of us as we stroll down the empty street.
The stars hang above us, dots of silver sprinkled across the velvet sky, and I feel as if I could conquer the whole damn world with Ace by my side and Rosalee trailing behind, muttering under her breath.
“Will your sister ever stop hating me?” Ace asks, glancing back at her with a smirk.
Ace’s arm is draped over my shoulder, his thumb tracing light circles against my skin. His eyes are alight with that spark—the one that says trouble is always just around the corner.
Rosalee huffs, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “I don’t hate you, Ace,” she retorts, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I think you’re an insufferable idiot.”
“Ouch.” Ace grins as he looks at me. “You hear that? I’m an idiot.”
“Well, she’s not wrong.” I laugh, nudging him. “You are kind of an idiot.”
Ace gasps dramatically, clutching his chest like I’ve wounded him. “Betrayed by my own girl! You’re breaking my heart, Trouble.”
I glance back, and Rosalee rolls her eyes, but there’s also a tiny smile tugging at her lips.
We’re about to pass a gas station when Ace suddenly stops, his eyes zeroing in on something ahead. I follow his gaze and spot it immediately—a black Mustang parked off to the side, its paint glistening under the station lights.
“Well, isn’t that your dream car,” Ace whispers, almost reverently. He turns to me, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “What do you think, Trouble? Feel like having a little fun?”
“What kind of fun?” I ask, even though I already know what he’s going to say.
Ace grins, his teeth flashing in the dim light. “I dare you to break in and steal it.”
“Are you serious?” Rosalee snaps, sharp with disbelief. “Nova, don’t even think about it. That is insane!”
Ace ignores her, his gaze locked on me. “C’mon, Trouble, what’s the point of living if you’re not gonna have some fun?”
A thrill races through me, and I grin, my heart already pounding with fear and excitement. “Let’s do it.” Without a backward glance, I pull away from him and head toward the Mustang.
Rosalee groans behind me, but she doesn’t protest further.
When I reach the car, I quickly glance around to make sure no one is watching as I pull out the little set of tools Ace gave me for my birthday.
My hands move almost automatically, muscle memory taking over as I work to get the door open.
Within moments, I hear the satisfying click, and the door swings open.
Ace whoops, rushing over to me. “That’s my girl!” He pulls me into a quick kiss. His lips are warm, and the rush of adrenaline makes everything feel sharper, more alive.
“Get in!” I laugh, pushing him toward the front of the car before sliding into the driver’s seat.
Ace rounds the car and opens the passenger door, then pulls the seat forward.
Rosalee reluctantly climbs into the back, muttering something about how this is the worst idea we’ve had yet, while Ace pushes the seat back and slides in.
“You know I don’t have a license, right?” I muse as I start the car, the engine roaring to life beneath me.
Ace grins, his eyes glinting with excitement. “We’re stealing a car, and you’re worried about having no license?”
I shrug. “Fair.” Then I hit the gas, the Mustang lurching forward as we speed out of the gas station. The car moves like a dream, the engine purring beneath me, and it feels as if we’re flying, free and unstoppable.
“Faster, Trouble!”