Chapter 19 #2
“I know,” Koen agrees. “I just… I’ve been thinking about that time a lot lately. I don’t know. I miss it. Miss him.”
I have no idea if he’s playing a part right now or if he’s genuine. Nobody could say, but his eyes tell me that at least the last part of the sentence was the full truth.
Hell, I miss Oscar, too, and I hadn’t spoken to him in years before he died.
I’m mid-sip when Veronica rises from her seat. My mind stutters as she takes a couple of steps to Koen.
She’s not…
Surely, she’s not…
But she does. She wraps him in a hug.
Koen’s eyebrows shoot up, his wide eyes meeting mine over her shoulder, and I nearly choke on my coffee. What the hell is happening?
Has she ever hugged anyone that way?
“I’m so sorry, darling,” Veronica says softly, patting his back. “I know this is more than hard for you. But I want you to know I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need. I meant it when I said we’d be family again. I’m here.”
Koen clears his throat, clearly as stunned as I am. “Thank you, Veronica.”
She steps back, smoothing her skirt as if the moment hadn’t just blown both of our minds.
Just as she opens her mouth to speak again, her phone rings.
She glances at the screen, her jaw tightening.
“Excuse me.” She picks it up while taking a few steps away from us.
Her tone shifts instantly into sharp commands.
There’s apparently a problem at one of the casinos.
She holds up a hand to us mid-conversation, muting the call with a press of a button as she steps back to us.
“I’m sorry, boys. I have to go take care of something.
Honey,” she says firmly, her eyes pinning me in place.
“Will you talk more ideas out with Koen, please? Maybe you two could go out and grab something to eat? I bet Koen doesn’t want to be alone right now.
” I open my mouth, but the sharpness of her gaze stops me cold.
“Nicholas,” she reprimands, a warning in her tone.
Damn, I didn’t even want to protest.
I nod stiffly, turning to Koen. “How about the Chinese place we always used to go to?”
Veronica’s expression softens, and she squeezes my forearm, a surprising gesture of approval. Then she turns to Koen with an air kiss and heads toward the elevator. “Take care, darling,” she calls to Koen as the doors close behind her.
The silence that follows feels heavy, but Koen breaks it with a low chuckle. “What just happened?”
“I have no idea.” I shake my head, still reeling.
“It’s not like I know what she’s even doing, only that she’s not fucking playing around.
” I unbutton my shirt and carefully detach the wire from the underside of my collar.
Koen lets out a low whistle, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter.
“Someone’s taking this seriously.”
“What are you even doing here?” I glance at him sharply. “And why the hell didn’t you tell me about it?”
Koen smirks, holding his hands up in mock surrender.
“You know about it now, don’t you?” He chuckles at my glare and continues, “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I need her to think I’m buying into this whole family bullshit.
I want her to trust us, make her believe we’re a couple of desperate kids who long so much for a family we’ll fall for her manipulations. ”
I scoff, folding the wire neatly and stuffing it into my pocket. “Well, you’re on the right track. She already thinks you’re a stupid kid.”
Koen grins, unbothered. “Does she?”
“Yeah,” I say dryly. “And she’s not wrong, Copy.”
He huffs, rolling his eyes. “Come on, now I really do want that Chinese food. We can grab some for everyone. I’m sure Novalee and the guys will be home soon, and we can debrief together.” He looks around the penthouse, his gaze lingering on the corners as if looking for cameras.
But there are none. At least of that, I’m sure.
“Want to check out her stuff?” I nod toward the kitchen island, where Veronica’s laptop still sits, the screen dark but humming faintly.
“Do you know her password?”
I sigh. “Nope.”
“It would be a waste of time then. We’d need Sylus for that, and like I said, this wasn’t exactly planned.”
I let out a breath, frustrated but knowing he’s right. “Should’ve thought about that sooner.”
“We’ve got time.” Koen shrugs. “Honestly, now that you’re in this with us, I’m not worried. We’ll get what we need.” But then he hesitates, his expression softening before he speaks again. “I need to apologize again. For everything. For letting you down.”
The words are a sucker punch, but I don’t flinch. Instead, I force a shrug. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” he presses. “I thought about it, and you’re right. I was an asshole. I should’ve—”
“Should’ve what?” I interrupt, my gaze locking on the elevator doors ahead. “Should’ve talked to me? Should’ve been there? It’s been thirteen years, Koen. Don’t act like this is new.”
I feel his eyes on me, his silence heavy. A part of me wants him to fight back, to justify himself, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lets out a sigh, and for some reason, that makes it worse. My grip on the tension inside me falters.
He shakes his head. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”
My lips twitch, and against my better judgment, I glance his way. “Let’s get some food, dickhead.”
“Deal,” he replies, grinning as he claps me on the shoulder. “I’m starving.”
We step into the elevator, the quiet hum of its descent filling the space between us. I keep my focus on the floor numbers ticking down, refusing to let my mind wander. But it does, anyway.
Because the truth is, I’m still hurt. It’s been over a decade of hurt. That doesn’t vanish overnight. The walls I built to keep him out aren’t going to crumble because he’s suddenly here, suddenly trying to patch things up.
If he’s even doing that. How can I be sure he’s not using me the same way he intends to use Veronica?
Hell, he already did, sending Novalee after me.
But God help me, it’s like no time has passed when I’m with him. The jokes, the ribbing, the way he looks at me as though I’m the same kid he used to protect—it feels familiar. Too familiar.
Like I have my best friend back.
Even if I’m cautious.
Even if I know better than to trust it.
When the elevator dings and the doors slide open, Koen steps out first. I follow, keeping my distance, my thoughts tangled in everything unsaid between us.
It’s strange, this mix of hurt and something I don’t want to call hope.
Because I know better. Thirteen years of silence doesn’t up and disappear because someone decides to apologize.
But then again, maybe it’s not about the apology. Maybe it’s about what happens next.
Koen glances back at me, his expression unreadable, but there’s a question he doesn’t ask out loud.
I don’t answer it.
Not yet.
But as we walk toward the exit, I realize the weight between us feels a little lighter. Maybe it’s temporary. Maybe it’s not.
Either way, it’s more than I’ve had in a long time.