Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
The Mercedes rumbles beneath us, the growl of the engine filling the silence. My head rests against the window, arms crossed, while Oscar’s hands grip the wheel. He hasn’t said a word since we left the courthouse, but a storm is brewing beside him.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “What the hell were you thinking, Koen?” His voice is calm, too calm, and that’s worse than yelling.
I shrug, not looking at him. “I wasn’t.”
“No kidding,” he snaps, his grip tightening.
“Do you know how lucky you are that they only took your license? You keep driving like that, and next time, it won’t just be a ticket.
It’ll be you or someone else wrapped around a tree.
Driving like that, with Nicholas in the passenger seat?
You’re not only playing with your own life.
Levi told me you drive like that when he’s with you too. ”
Traitor twin.
I don’t respond, staring out the window as the desert blurs past.
“Why, Koen?” Oscar exhales sharply. “Why are you doing this? You know better.”
“Do I?” The words are laced with more anger than I mean.
He glances at me, his jaw tight. “Don’t start with that. You do know better. You should know what cars can do, Koen. What they can take away.”
My stomach knots. I know exactly what he means. Mom. Rosie. Gone in an instant because of one stupid crash.
“I wasn’t racing,” I mutter, but even I don’t believe it.
“Doesn’t matter. You think that would’ve made a difference to them? You think the car cared why it was going too fast?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, biting back the flood of emotions. “I wasn’t trying to—”
“What, Koen?” he interrupts. “What were you trying to do? Because all I see is you risking your life for nothing.”
“It’s not for nothing.” I turn to glare at him. “It’s how I… cope, okay? It’s the only thing that makes me feel anything.”
Oscar’s eyes flick toward me, softening for only a second. “There are better ways, kid. You don’t get to put your life, or someone else’s, on the line because you don’t want to deal with your shit.”
I huff, looking away again. “Whatever.”
We fall into silence for a while, the road stretching endlessly ahead.
“Levi’s training hard,” Oscar says suddenly. “You should see him with those pigeons. He’s going to be so good.”
“Yeah, well, good for him,” I mutter.
“You should join him.”
I snort. “I’m not doing silly tricks, Oscar.”
It’s fine if Levi wants to play magician, but I’m not into that shit.
He chuckles, reaching into his pocket with one hand while steering with the other.
“Silly tricks, huh?” He pulls out a coin, holding it up between us.
“Two sides to a coin, Koen.” He flips it between his fingers like it’s weightless.
“You and Levi, you’re like that. Heads and tails. Opposites, but part of the same thing.”
I watch as he tosses the coin into the air. It spins, catching the light, and then—nothing. It’s gone.
“Sometimes it spins.” His voice takes on that theatrical tone he uses on stage. “Sometimes it falls.”
I glance around, half expecting to find it on the dashboard or in the cup holder, but there’s no trace of it.
“Cute.”
“Who said magic has to be cute? You’re not Levi. You don’t need the pigeons and illusions. You’ve got a mind for strategy… for reading people. You could be a mentalist, Koen. Get into their heads. No silly tricks, just skill. Real skill.”
“Sounds like a lot of work.”
“Maybe,” he agrees, leaning back into his seat. “But it’s better than getting yourself behind bars for racing. Think about it. You, Levi, the Magic Twins. That will get you rich as hell. You keep your license this time, and you can buy every car you’ve ever dreamed of.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Big dreams, Uncle Oscar.”
“Dream big, Koen.” He glances at me. “But be safe. And keep Levi safe. You’re not just two sides of a coin. You’re stronger together. Don’t throw that away over some need for speed.”
I look at him, the words settling in my chest. Oscar’s not talking about cars and magic—he’s talking about the weight of everything we’ve lost and everything we still have.
“Yeah,” I murmur, turning back to the road. “I’ll think about it.”
He smiles, shifting gears as the Mercedes roars forward. “Good. Now stop sulking and help me figure out how to break it to Levi that twenty pigeons in his room are nineteen too many without him staging a full-blown meltdown.”
I laugh despite myself. “Good luck with that. You know he’s going to call it artistic expression or some crap.”
Oscar grins. “Yeah, well, he can express himself all he wants in the garage. I’m not negotiating with pigeons.”
The memory fades, but the weight of it lingers, pressing down on my chest.
Sitting in the Bronco, I stare out at the parked Mercedes in front of us.
The same car Oscar and I drove home that day, his words about coins, Levi, and me still ringing in my ears.
I glance at Novalee in the passenger seat beside me. She’s quiet, her hand resting lightly on her bracelet, her gaze fixed on the park we’ve parked next to, and I let myself look at her.
Mine.
Then I follow her gaze.
Nicholas is in the distance, guiding a group of kids through a parkour course like he’s been doing this his entire life. Which, in a way, he has.
I remember doing that with him, going to this park and training backflips and shit every week. It was always more his kind of thing than mine. Mine were cars. But since he did my hobby with me, I figured we could do something he enjoyed every week too.
It was fun.
Just as much fun as these kids seem to have. They laugh and cheer as he encourages them, his smile easy and genuine.
And Novalee is watching him.
It’s not only the way her eyes linger, tracing his every move, but it’s the micro expressions she can’t hide.
The faint lift at the corners of her mouth—a flicker of joy.
The slight furrow of her brow—a pang of longing.
And then, the barest tremble in her lower lip—a hint of heartbreak.
Fuck.
She’s hurting.
And it’s my fault.
I thought I’d be fine if Nicholas got hurt in the process of all this. Thought it was okay for the greater good. But I never considered Novalee would get caught in the crossfire.
Worse, I never thought I’d care.
But here I am, reading her like an open book, seeing her hurt, her want, her conflict, and every instinct in me is screaming to fix it to take it away and make it better.
We’re all in this mess because of me—I pushed her into it. Instead of… hell, I don’t know, talking to Nicholas? No. That would’ve been insane. Easier to drag her into this, to manipulate the situation like it’s a game of chess.
Except now it feels like we’re all losing.
I take her hand, and she twitches in surprise but doesn’t pull away. I entwine our fingers, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.
Her gaze shifts from Nicholas to me, and she smiles.
That smile.
I’m such a goner for this girl.
It’s not just the way her lips curve or eyes soften when she looks at me. It’s the way those things make my chest tingle, my pulse race, and my entire goddamn world tilt in her direction.
And I hate it.
Not the feeling. Never the feeling.
I hate that I can’t spend every waking second with my lips on her skin, with my teeth in her thighs, pulling those sweet sounds from her that make me feel invincible.
But this show. This show. It has to go off perfectly.
If it does?
Fuck. Between her thighs, somewhere in Italy, that’s all I’ll be. That’s all I want to be. And if that doesn’t sound like the perfect escape plan, I don’t know what does.
And I’m fine to share that space between said thighs with Nicholas if that stops her from hurting so much.
Fuck, that could be hot.
As if she’s reading my dirty thoughts right off the tip of my nose, her eyes narrow, and she glares playfully at me. “What?”
“Nothing. I was just… thinking about my Mercedes.”
The fact that Nicholas not only borrowed my car—hell, let’s call it what it is, he basically stole it—but now also uses it like it’s his own should piss me off.
But it doesn’t. I know I’ll get it back.
Nicholas wouldn’t keep it, not forever. That’s not the kind of person he is. And deep down, I’ve always known that.
So why didn’t I know that everything with him and Levi was a misunderstanding?
Of course, Nicholas hurt Levi. I won’t deny that. But I also know Nicholas better than anyone. I should have seen that there was more to the story, that the pieces didn’t add up. Instead, I dropped him like a hot potato as he accused me of doing.
I told myself I saw what he did to Levi, saw the fallout, and that was all the truth I needed. But that was bullshit, wasn’t it? I didn’t even ask. I didn’t dig deeper. I sided with Levi, stuck with him, and let it burn Nicholas in the process.
And now? Now I can’t stop wondering what it cost us.
What it cost him.
“Koen?” Novalee’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn my gaze to hers, blinking as the weight of the past falls back into the shadows of the present. “You okay? You’ve been staring at that car for a while now.”
I let out a breath, shaking my head. “Yeah, just… memories.”
She doesn’t push, giving me the space to decide if I want to share. It’s a thing I’ve noticed about her, how she balances knowing when to press and when to back off. It’s unnervingly comforting.
“That car,” I say finally, nodding toward the Mercedes.
“It’s not just a car. It’s… Oscar gave it to me.
And Nicholas and I went out a lot in it.
It was my whole pride when I was seventeen.
” I huff a laugh. “And I raced it way too often. It’s the reason why I lost my license more than once.
And I was just remembering how I had a conversation with Oscar in there after the first time. ”
Her brows lift, curiosity flickering across her face. “The heavy kind of conversation?”