Chapter 3 #2
My wolf snarled in protest, but I told him to stuff it. This was for his own good. For both our sakes.
They were walking slowly, heads tilted towards each other in conversation. Wren gestured with his free hand as he spoke, animated about something. Felix nodded along. I couldn’t help but imagine that small smile playing at the corners of his mouth—the one that made my heart do stupid things.
I kept to the shadows, matching their pace from across the street. My hearing should have picked up their conversation easily from this distance, but they were speaking in soft murmurs that barely carried on the evening air.
Of course they were. Probably whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears. Probably being all intimate and coupley in that way that made single people want to be sick.
I needed to get closer.
I crossed the street at the next corner, trailing them close enough now that I should have been able to hear them clearly.
Should have been.
But they were still speaking too quietly to make out their conversation. Frustratingly, infuriatingly quiet.
The world beyond Felix and Wren might as well have been static. Until footsteps thundered and a jogger nearly knocked me sideways.
“Excuse me!” she called out, bright and cheerful in a way that made me want to disappear into the pavement.
I spun around, heart hammering. A woman in neon running gear had stopped behind me, earbuds dangling around her neck.
“Sir, you dropped this!” She moved towards me, waving something in her hand—my wallet, apparently having slipped from my jacket pocket during my stalker manoeuvres. “This is yours!”
No, no, no.
She was being loud. Too bloody loud. Her voice carried across the quiet street like a foghorn, cutting through the evening air with all the subtlety of a fire alarm.
What if Felix turned around? What if he saw me standing here, obviously following him and his—
I snatched my wallet and jumped backwards away from her, and—
CRASH.
—promptly collided with something metal and solid.
Three wheelie bins toppled like dominoes, metal lids clanging against the pavement with the kind of racket that could wake the dead. The sound echoed off the buildings, a symphony of chaos that might as well have been accompanied by flashing neon signs reading, “STALKER ALERT.”
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Terror flooded my system. My vision tunnelled. Without thinking, I dived behind the fallen bins like they were black metal fortresses that would save me from certain death.
I crouched behind them, pressing my back against the middle bin and trying to make myself as small as possible. Which was difficult, considering I was six foot two and built like a bloody rugby player.
The smell hit me properly then. Bin juice and decay and something that definitely used to be alive but absolutely wasn’t anymore.
I closed my eyes and prayed for a sinkhole to open up and swallow me whole.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” The jogger shouted. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you!”
But I wasn’t listening to her anymore. Because underneath her concerned chatter, I heard something far worse.
Wren’s voice, curious and amused: “Hey, isn’t that your work colleague? What’s he doing?”
Everything inside me went cold and still.
No. No, no, no.
“What?” Felix’s voice. Soft, confused.
“Rory’s brother. The big, grouchy one. The one you say is always a bit weird with you.”
A pause. Then Felix, recognition dawning in his tone: “Kit?”
“Yes, him.”
“Umm, hello?” Felix’s voice. Quiet and bewildered and far too close for comfort. “Kit?”
I considered my options. I could stay hidden and hope they’d go away. I could shift into wolf form and run away on four legs, never to be seen again. I could climb into one of the bins and wait for the garbage collection.
All excellent choices that would preserve what little dignity I had left.
Instead, like the absolute muppet I was, I slowly stood up and turned around.
Felix was standing at the edge of the pavement, head tilted, dark eyes wide with bewilderment. Wren, beside him, looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh.
The jogger had buggered off, thank fuck.
“Hi,” I said, because my brain had apparently decided to abandon ship entirely.
“Um… hi?” Felix replied, still looking completely baffled. “What… what are you doing?”
My mind went completely blank. Every rational explanation fled my head, leaving behind nothing but panicked static and the overwhelming urge to disappear forever.
“I was…” I started, then stopped, because I had absolutely no idea how to finish that sentence.
I was stalking you and your boyfriend because I’m a sick creep who can’t accept that you’ll never want me.
Not exactly ideal.
“Having a slash,” I blurted out.
The moment the words left my mouth, I wanted to die. Just cease to exist entirely. Become one with the bins and the rotting vegetables and whatever that fishy smell was.
Felix blinked. “You were… taking a piss? Behind the bins?”
“Aye.” My face was on fire. “Couldn’t… couldn’t find a loo.”
Wren made a small choking sound that was almost definitely suppressed laughter.
“Right,” Felix said slowly. “Couldn’t find a… right.”
The silence stretched on for what felt like seventeen years. Felix was staring at me like I’d grown a second head. Wren’s shoulders had started to shake.
And I was standing behind three toppled-over wheelie bins, having just admitted to public urination in front of my mate and his boyfriend.
The longest personal conversation I’d ever had with Felix.
“So… were you walking this way too?” Felix asked, and my mouth instantly dried. Because Felix and Wren weren’t walking towards the Tube station, or any obvious justifiable destination.
“Ach…” I scratched my neck. “I’ve been scouting out the roads around this area to see if they’d be any good for running.”
Felix nodded, like that made sense, and I could have cried with relief.
“Well,” I said, because apparently my mouth was determined to make this worse. “I should… I should probably go. Find a… proper loo. For next time.”
For next time? What was wrong with me?
“Right,” Felix said again. “Yes. Maybe around here isn’t the best for running, if there aren’t many toilets.”
I nodded enthusiastically, like we were having a perfectly normal conversation about public toilets instead of it being the most mortifying moment of my entire existence.
“Good seeing you,” I said, already backing away. “Both of you. Enjoy your… evening.”
And then I turned and walked away as fast as I could without actually running, leaving behind my dignity, my pride, and any hope of ever being able to look Felix in the eye again.
Behind me, Wren’s voice rang out, bright with laughter. “Well, that was interesting. Turns out you were right. He really is a bit weird.”
I really, really needed that sinkhole now.