Chapter 11 Kit Thorne Operation Files Felix Reconnaissance
Kit Thorne: Operation Files: Felix Reconnaissance
Operation Weather Advisory (or How to Look Like an Idiot While Holding a Perfectly Good Raincoat)
TARGET: Felix Ch?ng (Codename: Magpie)
INTEL GATHERED:
Target arrived to work completely soaked at 09:00 (no protective outerwear observed)
Hoodie now drying on radiator in basement
Target appeared to have no plan to prevent future soaking on return journey
OBJECTIVE: Provide protective outerwear to target following morning’s torrential downpour exposure. Secondary objective: Demonstrate concern for target’s health and well-being.
TACTICAL APPROACH: Monitored weather conditions throughout morning (rainfall predicted until 20:00).
Positioned self near tech lair during target’s usual departure window.
Selected approach: casual offer of raincoat with emphasis on human immune systems being more vulnerable than shifter physiology (rehearsed twenty times in bathroom mirror).
OPERATIONAL STATUS: MISSION CATASTROPHICALLY COMPROMISED
COMPLICATIONS ENCOUNTERED: Intercepted target as planned in basement.
Initiated coat-offering protocol with prepared speech about evening downpours.
Target responded by producing mobile device displaying weather application.
WEATHER APPLICATION SHOWED SUNSHINE SYMBOL.
Clear skies confirmed through small basement window.
All meteorological intelligence was incorrect.
Operative faced with choice: abort mission or maintain tactical position despite complete absence of logical justification.
MISSION OUTCOME: TOTAL OPERATIONAL FAILURE.
Operative doubled down on raincoat offer despite overwhelming evidence of stupidity.
Attempted to argue with weather application (“those things are rubbish”).
Target smiled—repeat, TARGET SMILED—and said, “That’s really nice of you, though, Kit.
” Operative’s brain immediately crashed.
Mumbled something about “better safe than sorry” and retreated while still holding raincoat.
MISSION FAILURE ANALYSIS: Failed to account for British weather’s unpredictable nature. Over-reliance on morning forecasts. Insufficient exit strategy when primary mission objective became obsolete. Target’s unexpected gratitude caused secondary system failure.
LESSONS LEARNT: Target thinks operative is “nice.” This intelligence is classified at highest possible level. May have sent operative into cardiac arrest. Also, check weather immediately before mission deployment, not six hours prior.
RECOMMENDATION FOR FUTURE OPS: Invest in more reliable meteorological forecasting. Alternatively, create situations where coat-lending is guaranteed necessary. Or possibly emigrate to somewhere with more predictable weather patterns.