Chapter 14 Kit Thorne Operation Files Felix Reconnaissance
Kit Thorne: Operation Files: Felix Reconnaissance
Operation Ice Cream (or The One Time Kit Actually Enjoyed Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition)
TARGET: Felix Ch?ng (Codename: Magpie)
OBJECTIVE: Invite target for post-work ice cream at newly opened establishment near station. Secondary objective: Achieve casual conversation in non-work environment.
TACTICAL APPROACH: Prepared opening gambit: “Fancy cooling off with some ice cream after work? There’s a new place by the station.” Rehearsed seventeen times while brewing morning tea. Selected timing for maximum heatwave impact (temperature: 32°C, unprecedented London suffering).
INTEL GATHERED:
Target wearing his favourite thick black hoodie (Lettering: “I’m not antisocial, I’m just not user friendly”) despite extreme temperatures
Multiple team members complaining about heat
Ice cream shop confirmed operational with queue visible from hotel windows
OPERATIONAL STATUS: MISSION DIVERTED
UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT: Priya announced impromptu movie night in the basement.
Quote: “It’s too bloody hot, and it’s been almost a year since we watched Lord of the Rings.
We’ll download the extended edition.” Target’s response anticipated to be polite refusal and immediate retreat to personal residence.
CRITICAL INTELLIGENCE FAILURE: Target agreed to participate. Repeat: FELIX SAID YES TO SOCIAL ACTIVITY. All previous behavioural analysis rendered obsolete.
MISSION PARAMETERS ADJUSTED: New objective: secure optimal seating position near target without appearing obvious. Successfully obtained adjacent floor cushion during setup phase.
SIGNIFICANT OBSERVATIONS:
Target appeared increasingly uncomfortable approximately 47 minutes into film—frequent tugging at hoodie collar observed
1 hour 23 minutes: Target removed hoodie completely
Operative experienced momentary system malfunction upon observing target in fitted T-shirt
Target’s hair slightly mussed from hoodie removal
MISSION OUTCOME: UNEXPECTED SUCCESS
Target remained for entire 3 hours 48 minutes of extended edition. Participated in minimal but genuine conversation during the scheduled intermission. Departed immediately following credits with standard “thanks, that was fun” protocol.
POST-MISSION DISCOVERY: During furniture restoration operations, operative located something wedged under cushions. Item: black hoodie, size medium, faint vanilla scent detected.
TACTICAL OPPORTUNITY IDENTIFIED: Hoodie return provides legitimate excuse for target interaction.
LESSONS LEARNT: Target enjoys fantasy epics and will socialise under specific circumstances. Also: fitted T-shirts should be classified as dangerous to operative’s concentration levels.
RECOMMENDATION FOR FUTURE OPS: Develop courage to execute hoodie return mission before target notices missing garment.
ADDENDUM - 12th August 2026
Mission parameters have deteriorated significantly. Hoodie return operation postponed indefinitely due to operative’s complete failure to execute basic human interaction. Item currently located in operative’s bedroom.
Target observed wearing numerous other hoodies. No indication of awareness regarding missing item.
Recommend immediate return before situation becomes irreversibly compromising.
Operative’s moral compass appears to have malfunctioned entirely.