Chapter 22 Kit #3
I waited, watching him fidget with the drawstring of today’s hoodie: a navy-blue faded university print, at least a size too big for him.
“I’ve been trying to research mate bonds,” Felix admitted in a rush.
I nearly choked on my bread. “Like… online? I didn’t know you could do that.”
“Yeah, so there’s really not much,” Felix said, shoulders hunching. “There’s obviously loads of mythology websites that seem completely mental. Lots of online forums, but I’m not sure how much is actual wolves and how much is people taking the piss.”
“You could just ask me,” I pointed out. “Quite a relevant party, I’d say.”
Felix looked up to face me properly, eyes wide and earnest through his glasses. “I guess… I still don’t quite understand what it feels like. For you, I mean. What you’re experiencing. What it actually feels like.”
I set my own plate aside, trying to find the right words. “You know about pack bonds, right? The invisible tethers between pack members? How we can sense each other’s emotions, general location?”
Felix nodded.
“Rory and I both independently broke our pack bonds, but when we found each other again years later, we discovered we still had a remnant of a bond between us.” I smiled, thinking how grateful I was for that connection.
Lone wolves really struggled without any bonds at all.
“But mate bonds are different. They’re similar, I suppose, but way more intense. ”
I paused, watching Felix’s face.
“I never took much notice, growing up. Didn’t quite believe what the elders said it could be like. Some of it sounded ridiculous, like a magical fairy tale. So when I saw you, that first day…”
The memory slammed into me. That moment Felix had shyly looked up, feeling my entire world tilt on its axis. Like every compass in my body had suddenly found true north.
“It’s like an animalistic possession,” I continued, my voice roughening. “This overwhelming urge to claim you, be close to you, protect you, keep you safe. Cherish you. The need to rip the head off anyone who so much as looks at you wrong.”
Felix blinked rapidly. “I feel none of that,” he said, almost like a guilty confession.
I laughed, pressing my leg more firmly against his. “I know. It’s probably hard to imagine for a human.”
Which was an understatement. For a moment, the image of my father’s face discovering my mate was human haunted me.
Wolves mating with humans was rare enough that most packs considered it an aberration.
My parents would have disowned me—would have disowned any of their pack—for the crime of a human mate.
“So… are we bonded now? Like Rory and Theo?” Felix’s face scrunched in concentration. “Can you feel my emotions like you can with Rory?”
I shook my head. “No. Those two have a complete mate bond.”
Felix pulled a face. “So it’s like… we have the hardware compatibility, but the software isn’t fully installed yet?”
I stared at him. “Did you just compare our relationship to a computer programme? So romantic.”
“I’m just trying to understand,” Felix said, flushing deeply.
“It’s a great analogy,” I quickly told him. “We haven’t… fully finished installing yet.”
“Okay,” he said, something like relief on his face. “So, how would we fully install it?”
My heart thudded painfully. This felt like a fever dream—Felix sitting close enough that I was drowning in his scent, my leg touching his, him asking me about permanently bonding our souls together like we were discussing weekend plans.
“Well,” I said carefully, voice almost a whisper. “First you need to decide if that’s something you want. Because there is no uninstall button. Ever.”
“Oh,” Felix said, blinking rapidly behind those bloody glasses.
The weight of that truth settled between us.
I thought about Rory’s determination that he’d “accidentally” bonded himself to Theo without permission, the guilt he came back from Scotland with.
But I suspected it hadn’t quite happened like that at all—that Theo had chosen Rory, even if Rory didn’t quite know it at the time.
“Would I feel something then?” Felix asked, leaning forward slightly. “I mean, would I feel something after we’re bonded?”
“I think so.” My throat felt dry. I hope so.
We stared into each other’s eyes, the air between us charged with possibility and terror in equal measure.
“I bought you those glasses,” I suddenly blurted out. “Not Seb or Priya.”
“Oh!” Felix’s hand flew to the frames, fingertips brushing the thick black plastic.
“I was going to give them to you myself, then the whole thing with Emma talking about Wren and me stabbing the dinner table happened. So I just left them on your desk with no name.”
“Well, thank you. I love them.”
“No you don’t,” I said, unable to stop myself smiling. “You think the blue light stuff is all made up. You said so.”
“Yes, well,” Felix’s lips curved upward. “Priya seems to think—”
“Priya is a meddling witch.” My chest loosened at his growing smile, warmth spreading through me like molten gold. “But I can’t deny seeing you in them does things to me,” I admitted.
“Exciting things?” Felix asked, and there was something deliberately teasing in his voice that made my pulse spike.
“Very exciting.”
It was true. The glasses transformed him completely.
He’d always been beautiful—sharp cheekbones and that mouth I constantly wanted to kiss—but the frames added something that made my brain fizzle and crack.
They gave him an air of studious innocence that was absolutely devastating when paired with the memory of last night, him on top of me, my name on his lips as he came.
The contrast was enough to drive me completely mad.
Fuck. I was probably drooling. And I was being far too flirty, too sexual for a lunch date in the Killigrew Street basement. We were supposed to be keeping this secret, and here I was, practically devouring him with my eyes.
A shiver racked through Felix’s entire body, violent enough that his shoulders jerked.
“You’re cold,” I said.
“I’m fine.” But his voice came out tight, another tremor running through him despite his denial.
“Your lair is warmer.”
Felix’s eyes widened, pupils dilating slightly as he processed my suggestion. The implication hung between us—warmer, aye, but also private. Completely isolated from the rest of the hotel.
“Okay,” he breathed, already reaching to tidy the leftover food.
“Leave it,” I growled, the command coming out as a threat.
Felix’s breath hitched audibly, his lips parting as his eyes went dark and wide. I caught the way his thighs pressed together, just barely, before he nodded quickly.
We simultaneously stood, and my hand found the small of his back without conscious thought, fingers splaying across the worn fabric of his hoodie. I guided him towards his door, perhaps pushing more than strictly necessary, but Felix didn’t resist. If anything, he leaned into the pressure.
The moment his lair door clicked shut behind us, we collided.
Felix’s hands fisted in my cardigan, dragging me down as I backed him against the nearest wall. Our mouths crashed together, all pretence of gentle exploration abandoned. This wasn’t the careful kiss we started off with yesterday—this was hungry, claiming, finally.
Without breaking away from him, I hooked my hands under his thighs and lifted. Felix squealed in surprise against my mouth, his legs automatically wrapping around my waist as I carried him backward to his desk chair.
I sat heavily, Felix settling perfectly on top of me, his arms winding around my neck. The position felt natural now, like muscle memory—Felix straddling my lap, fitting against me like he’d been designed for this exact purpose.
Emotion squeezed my heart with a heavy fist. Having Felix here, willing and warm and mine, after years of watching from afar…
“I can’t deny that this has been a fantasy of mine,” I whispered directly into his ear, my lips brushing the sensitive shell before nipping gently at his earlobe. “Us in here, like this.”
Felix gasped, the sound shooting straight to my cock. My hand found his back again, running up the length of his spine through his hoodie. He arched beautifully under my touch, head falling back to expose the long line of his throat.
I couldn’t resist. My mouth found the pulse point at the base of his neck, kissing and mouthing at the warm skin, lapping up the salt and vanilla, feeling his pulse flutter wildly beneath my tongue.
Lovely soft breathy sounds left his mouth, driving me absolutely mental, along with his fingers tangling in my hair.
When I lifted my head to kiss him properly again, his lips were already parted, waiting.
“Felix,” I whispered before I claimed his mouth once more, hoping to convey in that single word how I was feeling. How blessed I felt that he wanted me. Had forgiven me for traumatising him. Hopefully.
Felix squirmed on my lap, small movements that sent sparks straight through me. His hips shifted restlessly, seeking friction, his hardness pressing against me through his jeans.
“God, I want to taste you so badly,” I groaned against his mouth, the words spilling out before I could stop them. “But I feel like I haven’t taken you on nearly enough dates yet, especially considering on our second one you almost got eaten by a vampire.”
Felix pulled back slightly, breathing hard. “Well, this is our third date if you count the picnic just now. Isn’t there a thing about the third date?”
I laughed. “That was our third date? Fuck, Felix. I have a million places I want to take you. Before I lie you down on a bed of rose petals like you deserve.”
“I don’t want a bed of roses,” Felix said firmly, grinding down harder against me. “That isn’t on my list.”
The reminder of his messages from last night snapped something inside me. I gripped his waist and lifted him effortlessly, swapping our positions so he was sitting in the chair while I knelt between his legs.