Glitter

Chapter Nine

Blue

I stared at the message on my phone for so long that the words started blurring together.

My Very Own Pocket Bear: Message me your address. I’ll pick you up for our date. If you’d like to stay over, pack a bag that includes lace and makeup. I already have the glitter.

Thinking back to last night when Henry and I had watched The Polka-Dot Whale together, I grimaced at the memory of the sounds of my apartment block that had filtered through my phone. When he’d heard the shouts and police sirens, I’d tried to pass them off as noise from a neighbor’s TV, but the flashing police lights that soon reflected on the wall behind me as we chatted gave away the truth.

I should have cut the call short, or at least moved to another room, but I was selfish enough to not want to let him go. We’d been having such a great time; indeed, the entire weekend had been beyond my wildest fantasies. Was it so wrong of me to want to stay in that bubble longer?

He’d been a little quieter for the rest of the call, but he hadn’t pushed me for answers to the questions that I knew must be swirling in his clever mind. If he didn’t raise them during our date tonight, it’d be a goddamn miracle.

This was why I had no one around to my place. Not even Amy had been offered an invitation. It would end up with tons of questions that I would get too embarrassed to answer and inevitably lead to flustered flailing of limbs and desperate attempts to change the subject.

No thanks.

Why, oh why, had I not immediately messaged him back and told him I’d meet him at the restaurant? It wouldn’t have been difficult to do, but the idea of arguing with him left me feeling cold and empty. Plus, he hadn’t exactly asked me for my address. It was more of an order, and some part of me responded to that in a surprisingly positive way.

Not my cock.

Well, not just my cock.

So, I’d texted him my address and didn’t argue with him, telling myself that this would be a good thing. He’d see the hovel I’d been living in for far too long and run screaming for the nearest hill. Better to stop this rapidly growing affection for him now rather than later, right? That way, I could save myself the heartache that would inevitably come my way when everything fell apart.

But that was hours ago, and now I was sitting here, staring at his message so hard that the screen blurred and there was no way for me to read it anymore. Nervous dread had filled me at the thought of him showing up at my apartment an hour ago, and now I was in full on panic attack mode. It was one thing to hear things through a video call, and quite another to deliberately deliver yourself into the thick of it. Was it too late for me to message him back and tell him I’d meet him at the restaurant instead?

My mind whirred. If I let him pick me up, did that mean that I secretly wanted him to see the ramshackle building where I lived? Or was I thinking too much about all of this? I was almost definitely letting myself obsess over it all, but it didn’t make me wrong.

There was also the fact that if I stayed the night at Henry’s, I’d probably have to rely on him driving me home after work tomorrow. Was that so bad? My brain kept screaming at me that it was, while my heart just sighed happily and repeatedly told my brain to go fuck itself.

Dropping my phone on the coffee table, I let out a long sigh and ran my fingers through my hair. Fuck it. Let him pick me up. It was a date, and he was being a gentleman by offering to pick me up on the way to the restaurant. If nothing else, I was being a responsible adult by minimizing our carbon footprint by using only one car. That was a good thing, right?

My brain threw its hands up in the air, gave up all its arguments, and stomped away into the dark recesses of my mind, begrudgingly disgusted that I’d let myself be swayed about a simple date over something so involved as climate change issues. My heart danced a jig, threw its middle fingers up at my brain, and laughed maniacally.

If this was how crazed my mind was feeling now, God help Henry tonight at the restaurant.

There was still plenty of time before he was due here, so I took my time getting ready, making sure I put on the white lace panties I’d told him I’d wear, but matching it to a tight, open, lace bra top that looped around my torso just underneath my pecs and connected to a slim, snow-white band around my neck via a vertical strip of cotton.

It was something that I wore on the days when I wasn’t feeling as confident as I usually did and needed that little boost, usually when I was needed in some important funding meeting with rich benefactors. The neck band was narrow enough that it was easily hidden underneath my shirt collar and tie, so no-one was ever any the wiser as to what I was wearing, except for me whenever the lace edging teased my torso and lower back when I moved quickly or leaned to grab something.

With the way my emotions were currently jumping all over the place, I really, really needed that extra lift of confidence for tonight.

Although, I really did hope that he would like the surprise when he unwrapped me later.

The makeup I put on was understated to allow my hair color to pop, keeping things to a basic black mascara, dark-gold blush eyeshadow, and subtle pink lipstick. Thinking of how Henry called me angel all the time made my earring choice simple: a small pair of silver angel wing stud earrings I’d purchased years prior.

Once I was happy with my makeup, I put on a thin black turtleneck shirt and my black slim fit jeans that had a slight flare to accommodate the heeled boots I’d be putting on soon enough, before laying my mid-thigh, dove-grey peacoat on the bed ready to wear once it was time for me to go. I tossed a thin black scarf with emerald highlights on top of the coat as an afterthought, thinking that I might be leaning too heavily into the black without something to break it up.

Packing my bag for the overnight stay and tomorrow’s work day was much simpler. For work, I typically rotated the same few outfits every fortnight or so, adding flair through my accessories and shoes. As I’d already ironed the shirt that I wanted to wear tomorrow, I placed that, along with everything else I needed, into a garment bag I could hang up as soon as I got to Henry’s. A smaller secondary bag took my makeup, toiletries, and a satin pajama set I assumed I wouldn’t be wearing. Hell, if I needed to wear something in bed tonight, one of Henry’s t-shirts would be more than sufficient, but it was always better to be prepared.

Just as I was pulling my boots on, my five-minute warning alarm went off to let me know to hightail it out to the curb to wait for him. Grabbing everything, I dashed out the door, making sure I’d snagged the lock as I went. It wouldn’t stop anyone truly determined to get into my apartment, but it would let my brain rest that I’d done everything I could to deter any burglaries.

I didn’t need to wait long. As soon as I stepped up to the curb, Henry’s car crawled to a stop in front of me. He stepped out, rounded the front, then stalled as he took my outfit in. His jaw opened and closed for a moment before he could say anything.

“Wow, Blue. You look incredible.” He leaned forward and gave me a quick peck on the cheek before taking my garment bag and hanging it from a hook above one of the rear windows.

It was my turn to look him over appreciatively. With my three-inch heels on, he was now about half a foot shorter than me, but it didn’t seem to bother him at all as he simply continued to stare at me with his eyes darkening in desire.

He’d dressed up for our date, now looking scrumptious in a dark navy shirt with the sleeves neatly rolled up to his elbows, showing off his gorgeous tattoos, and the first two buttons undone, giving a visual tease of his chest hair. His pleated trousers hung perfectly off his waist, coming to an inch-wide cuff at the hem, sitting comfortably on his shiny, but well-loved, dress shoes. “So do you, pocket bear. If we didn’t have reservations, I’d suggest going back to your place and letting me gobble you up for dinner instead.”

He chuckled, his hands gently gliding down my arms before reaching up with one hand and cupping my chin. He rubbed his thumb over my cheek as he continued to gaze at me like he was contemplating doing exactly that.

The noise of glass smashing broke the growing tension between us before whatever had crashed through what was presumably a window landed on the sidewalk a dozen feet from where we stood.

Henry turned his head to look, but I grabbed his elbow and steered him towards his car, saying bluntly, “Time for us to leave, pocket bear.”

“But, what if—”

“Nope. Time to go.”

He eyed me but let me open the driver’s door and get him situated before I darted around the car and dove into the passenger seat. Within moments, we were on our way.

Silence filled the car as Henry drove, his eyes constantly moving on the traffic that surrounded us. I sat mostly still, my fingers fidgeting with nervous energy. Any minute now, I was convinced that Henry was going to declare that it was too dangerous for him to date me and, if I was lucky, I’d be dumped at the nearest gas station to make my own way back to my apartment.

Sure, that sounded pessimistic, but when it’s happened to you once as an impressionable young adult just out of college, you kind of expect it to always happen. It was only a matter of when.

Surprisingly, Henry didn’t stop until we got to the restaurant. He parked and was out his door to open mine before I even had my seatbelt undone. He helped me out, then offered his elbow to walk me inside.

Guess my abhorrent living conditions hadn’t put him off then. Huh.

“Welcome to The Majestic . How may I help you this evening?”

The sound of a young woman broke me out of my thoughts, and I turned from Henry to find a tall blonde standing at the host podium, her hands clasped loosely behind her back.

“Hello,” Henry said, a small tense smile gracing his lips. “We have a booking for two under the name of Porter.”

The host tapped at her tablet, her long fingernails clacking at high speed. “Certainly, sir. I have you listed for a booth at the rear. Is that still acceptable?”

He exhaled in relief. “Yes, please.”

“Wonderful, sir. Right this way, please.” She removed two leather-bound menus from the console and led the way through the relatively busy restaurant until we arrived at a slightly darkened booth away from most of the guests. She waited for us to sit before handing us both a menu. “Your server will be along soon to take your drink order, unless you wish to request something now?” Once again, she clasped her hands loosely behind her back and looked at Henry, then me, with an open and patient expression.

“If I could please get a coke to start?” I asked her, and she bowed her head before turning to face Henry with an expectant look.

“Same, please.” He’d opened the menu but wasn’t paying that much attention to it. Rather, he was gazing at me with a look that seemed to combine heat, curiosity, and anxiety.

“Of course, sirs. I will let your server know.” She bowed her head again before straightening. “I hope you enjoy your time at The Majestic .”

“I’m sure we will,” Henry responded quietly, even though he was holding my gaze steady.

Why was he keeping his eyes on mine? He’d never seemed to do this when we were eating lunch with Amy. He would always look at the person he was talking to. Why was this situation different?

I waited for the host to leave before I leaned forward slightly and reached my hand across the table towards him. “Is everything okay, Henry?”

He swallowed hard, enough for me to see his Adam’s apple bob through his dense beard, before shaking his head slightly and admitting softly, “Um, I’m not good with crowds in unfamiliar places.”

I tilted my head to the side and looked around us. There wasn’t anyone close to us, but the middle of the restaurant was bustling. The chatter wasn’t loud, but it was constant. I looked back at the way we were seated and realized that because of the seat I’d chosen, I’d forced him to sit in the one opposite, so Henry had full sight of everyone in the restaurant, while my view of the rest of the restaurant was far more limited.

I shuffled out of my booth seat and motioned him to get up. “Let’s swap seats, pocket bear.” I stilled at my potentially callous assumptions. “Unless you want to go? I don’t mind if you’d rather leave.”

His eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head even as he moved to get out of his seat. “No, I don’t want to leave. This is a date. I want you to enjoy yourself.” He steadily rose and grasped my forearms, looking up at me with affection. “I want to be here with you.” He cast his eyes nervously around the room. “I admit that I wasn’t expecting it to be so busy on a Sunday night, though.”

I chuckled and leaned down to give him a quick peck on the lips, one hand palming his cheek. “As long as I’m with you, I don’t mind where we are.” I maneuvered him to the other side of the table before we both sat down. “Let’s try this seating arrangement. If it doesn’t work, we can always ask for our meals to go.”

His shoulders lost their tension as he visibly relaxed, his anxiety finally easing. “Okay.”

I smiled at him, happy that we could both start relaxing, then looked down at the menu that he’d left open on the table. My eyes widened. “Uh, Henry?”

“Yes?”

“I can’t afford this,” I said, gulping as the anxiety he’d been feeling moments ago now rushed through my system. My fingers curled into fists that I then tucked under the table while I read the menu, the prices taunting me. Why had I agreed to this? Should I have told him earlier that an outing at a fast-food place would be better suited? Maybe I could convince him to leave now—

“Angel, I never expected you to pay for tonight.” Henry’s soft voice carried over the table, his hand reaching over the table and resting next to my menu, palm up. “I asked you on this date. This is my treat for you.”

My heart thumped loud and hard at his words. I’d heard them once before, and as soon as we’d eaten, my date had dashed out the door, leaving me to foot the bill. On an instinctual level, I knew Henry wasn’t like that, but my brain was crying out, what if? I gingerly placed my still curled fist into his palm where he tickled my wrist, trying to ease my worries. My eyes frantically jumped around the room.

“Blue,” he said sternly, forcing my focus entirely onto him. Once he had my attention, he held my gaze for a moment before calmly saying, “I’m paying. It’s okay.”

My brow furrowed slightly as I let out a shaky breath. “Okay…” I wasn’t convinced, but I had to trust him, right?

“Good evening, sirs,” a voice said, capturing both of our attention. Our promised server had appeared and was now placing our drinks on the table in between us. Once they were down, he stood upright, his hands clasped loosely behind his back. “Would sirs like to hear this evening’s specials, or would sirs like some more time?”

I stared at him, blinking hard. What to do, what to do… “Um...”

Henry coughed quietly, drawing both my attention and the server’s. “We probably need some more time, but I have a favor to ask, if I may?”

The server inclined his head. “Certainly, sir.”

Henry shook his head with a wry smile. “Actually, I might have to make that two. My name is Henry, not sir. What’s yours?”

The corners of the server’s mouth tipped up ever so quickly before settling again. “Quinn, sir.”

Henry grinned. “Nice to meet you, Quinn. If you could call me Henry instead of sir, I’d really appreciate it.” He motioned to me. “This is Blue.”

Quinn’s lips quirked again, his rigid stance easing slightly. “Certainly, si—I mean, Henry.” He turned to me with a questioning look on his face.

Marveling at how Henry was chatting so easily with Quinn was somehow also making me feel at ease. “Like Henry said, you can call me Blue,” I said with a wide grin.

“Blue,” Quinn repeated with a tiny nod.

“Quinn,” Henry said, capturing both Quinn’s and my attention again. “Blue is a little nervous to be on our first date.”

Gripping Henry’s hand quickly, I felt myself blush at his words. This was the first time someone had so openly stated that they were out on a date with me. Most of the men who agreed to go on a date with me always seemed to make it sound like we were discussing business, especially when approached by the waitstaff.

“You make a beautiful couple,” Quinn said with an easy and warm smile.

I flushed even more and looked down at the table, embarrassed.

“Thank you,” Henry said. I could hear the smile in his voice. “As I’ll be the one paying the bill, would it be okay if I gave you my credit card to hold on to until we’ve finished our meal?”

My head jerked up, my eyes widening at his words. Henry simply shook his head ever-so-slightly at me and refocused on Quinn.

“Of course, Henry.”

“Thank you, Quinn.” Henry gently removed his hand from my grip and dug into his pocket for his wallet, all whilst studying the menu in front of him. Once he got the card he wanted out, he handed it over to Quinn. “Judging by the average price of each dish, can you please put through a three-hundred-dollar deposit now? I’m confident that we’ll go well past that, but if we don’t, consider the difference as extra gratuity. We’ll order when you come back with the payment slip for me to sign.”

Quinn’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he settled back into professional mode as he slowly took the card offered to him. “Certainly, sir—” he said before catching himself. “My apologies. Henry. Thank you.”

With my own eyes wide, I watched Quinn turn and head to the podium at the entrance. He spoke quietly to the host, nodding in our direction once before handing the card over. The host looked our way with intrigue before she shrugged ever so slightly and started tapping at the tablet screen in front of her.

“You didn’t have to do that, pocket bear,” I said softly as I turned back to Henry. “You and I both know our main meals won’t reach that.”

He shrugged. “I know, but it’ll make you feel more at ease. That’s all I care about.”

My eyes softened as I watched him, the tension I’d been feeling easing out of me. This kind, wonderful, thoughtful man. How the hell did I get so lucky? Maybe I needed to be a bit more open with him. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You can probably guess that I’ve been left with the bill before.”

He nodded slowly, a slight frown furrowing his brow. “I figured as much.”

We quieted when Quinn returned with the payment slip, which Henry duly signed, then asked if we could have a few more minutes to decide. Quinn nodded, promising to return soon.

I watched our server retreat to another table, then picked up the cloth napkin from the side of my setting and started twisting it. “I haven’t had the best track record with dates, let alone boyfriends.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Did you want to talk about it?”

I scoffed a laugh and shook my head, still mangling the napkin. “No, but you deserve to know what you’re getting into with me.”

His frown deepened. “Angel, I don’t deserve anything. Whatever you want to tell me is fine.”

Sighing, I let my frustration simmer. Why was he being so nice? Didn’t he realize that if he kept going like this, I’d never want to leave his side? “I’m broke, Henry. I’m barely making enough at Eckersley’s to cover my bills. Seeing the prices on the menu freaked me out because I’ve been out before where my dates have left me to pay for everything. Most men aren’t comfortable being seen with me. The last guy I was involved with… He ran up a ton of debt in my name and I’ll be paying it off for years.”

Henry growled softly, his fist clenching.

I stared down at the napkin that I was strangling. “Even though it was blatantly obvious that I was gay growing up, I was kicked out of home when I officially came out to my parents, and I was extremely lucky to get help from an LGBTQIA+ friendly charity to help me through the rest of my college years. I struggled to find work until Amy put in a good word for me at Eckersley’s. Everything I wear”—I said, gesturing at myself—“my clothes, my jewelry, my makeup—it’s all been sourced from charity and second-hand stores. No-one knows. Not even Amy.”

He inhaled so sharply that I thought he’d start coughing. “Angel—”

“I’m a lost cause, Henry.” With my head still down, I shook my head, cutting him off. “That’s why I live where I do. I can’t afford to live anywhere else. It’s a slum, I know. Everyone who lives there knows it. The police get called there at least once a week. There are fights almost every night. People get shot , Henry. I’m so sorry I let you come and pick me up. I should have met you here. You shouldn’t have been there. I should have kept you away from all of that.” I sniffed as I could feel myself growing more upset, sure that I was making Henry hate me. “You’re a good man. Such a good man. You deserve someone far more put together than me. You deserve to be with someone who won’t put you in danger just by coming to pick them up for a date. Someone who will tell you ahead of time that you’re walking into danger.”

“Blue—”

“Friday night was the best night of my life,” I continued, talking over him once more, needing to get this out while I still could. “The sex was out of this world, but I’ve also never been so comfortable sleeping next to someone. I’ll cherish that more than you’ll ever know.” Putting the cloth napkin down, I placed my palm on the table before looking up at Henry, knowing that this would be the last time I would see him outside of work. “Please don’t tell Amy what I’ve told you. I’ve lost enough friends over the past few years to relationships, marriages, and children. I don’t want to lose her to pity.” When a single tear finally pushed past my eyelid and trailed slowly down my cheek, I took the opportunity to rise from my seat, more than ready to head home. The astonished look on Henry’s face let me know everything I needed to know. There was no coming back from this. “I’m sorry I made you waste three hundred dollars on nothing.”

Taking a step past him, I jolted to a stop when I felt Henry’s fingers grip my wrist. He tugged me awkwardly into the booth next to him, sliding over to make room for me, then twisting in his seat to face me, never letting go of my wrist. He stared at me before lifting his free hand to carefully wipe the tear from my cheek. “Oh, angel. Don’t cry. You’ll mess up your makeup.”

A sob broke out of me before I could swallow it down. How could this man be so utterly and unbearably sweet?

He grabbed his napkin and started dabbing it at my cheek. “I don’t care, Blue. Not about any of what you just told me.”

The tears just fell faster. “How can you not? Everyone else does!”

He paused to think, then shrugged and softly patted at my cheek again. “None of it is insurmountable to me. I like you for you , Blue, not where you live or how much money you have.”

I shook my head slowly, barely able to comprehend what he was saying.

He let go of my wrist and placed his palm against my chest, above my heart. “ This is what’s important, angel. What’s in here. Not material possessions.” He pressed his palm firmly against me, driving his point home. “ This is who you are. This is what I’m interested in.” He cupped my chin with his other hand, his thumb softly gliding over my cheek to wipe away my tears. “You have a light that shines so very brightly, angel. Don’t let it fade.” Slowly, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss.

Gripping his shirt in my fists, I held onto him for dear life. When his lips parted, I deepened the kiss as much as I possibly could, considering that my nose was stuffy from all the crying I was doing.

He moaned and matched my desperate heat with his own, darting his tongue out to taste mine before pulling back to rest his forehead against mine. “Stay with me tonight, Blue. Like we planned. We’ll figure the rest out tomorrow.”

Somewhat dazed that this night wasn’t going at all the way I thought it would after telling Henry about my past, I nodded.

He drew me into a tight hug, one palm on the back of my head, the other on the small of my back. “We’ll make it work, angel. I promise,” he murmured as he snuggled into the crook of my neck.

A quiet cough broke us apart, and we looked up to find a somewhat sheepish Quinn standing at the edge of our table, looking embarrassed, concerned, and a little turned on. “I’m so sorry to interrupt you both, but I should ask if you would like to order or if you need some more time to decide?”

Henry looked at me with a sly, yet cheeky grin. “How about it, angel? Would you like to stay and eat here before we head back to my place? Or take our food to go and head back to my place now?”

I laughed wetly and looked at the man I was quickly finding myself more and more enamored with. “Are you sure?”

“Never been surer.” Henry gently smiled at me, his eyes sparkling from the overhead lighting.

“Can we eat here?” I asked, still nervous. If he wanted to head back to his place now, I wouldn’t argue, but I needed some time to settle. Eating at the restaurant would help with that, especially if I was sitting in the same booth as Henry, facing away from the rest of the patrons.

“Of course, Angel,” he said, his smile growing bigger and brighter. He ran a finger along my hairline to tuck a strand behind my ear. “Whatever you need.”

“Thank you,” I whispered to him before turning to Quinn. “Can we please have another minute?”

Quinn inclined his head, a soft look on his face as he gazed at both of us. “Of course. Take all the time you need.” With his hands still clasped loosely behind his back, he turned and walked towards the kitchen.

We shifted in our seats to look at the menu sitting in front of us together. Henry’s hand moved to sit comfortably on my thigh, his thumb gently stroking. “What do you think you want?”

I chuckled as I stared at the menu. “Honestly, I don’t know. I can’t pronounce most of these dishes.”

“Neither can I.” He laughed alongside me and leaned over to nudge me with his shoulder. “What say we try to purposely butcher the names and see if we can get Quinn to crack up?”

I leaned happily against him, my head settling onto his shoulder like it was always meant to be there. “That sounds perfect.”