Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Grady
On the car ride back from the Mona Lisa, Vivian is quiet. She keeps staring out the window, but I can still see her silky skin swollen to twice its size, along with the shadow of the dark bruise across her cheek from this angle, and every time I catch a glimpse of it, I want to punch something.
“I’m sorry if I was a dick,” I blurt.
Viv startles and turns to face me. “You weren’t. You overreacted a little, but it was sweet that you cared about my welfare. The alpha male posturing some guys do is gross, but it’s nice to know that if someone had hurt me, you wouldn’t let it slide. Women can be smart, capable, and independent, but when it comes to physical violence against us, sometimes we need an assist.”
I keep my eyes on the road ahead. “I’ve made no secret about how I feel about you, Viv.”
She runs her hand through her hair. “Not from me, maybe. But it’s still a secret from my family.”
“Only because you want it to be. I thought that was obvious. I’ve been letting you take the lead, but if you wanted to be official, I’d be shouting about us from the rooftops. Literally. I have a ladder that’ll go all the way to the gutters, and I’m not too proud to make a fool of myself.”
Viv laughs at that, but the humor doesn’t reach her eyes. “And what does being official look like to you? Because I’m thirty-two. And while our sex is crazy hot, I’m at the stage where I’m thinking long-term, big picture.”
I swallow my rising panic. “And you don’t see me as long-term?”
I grip the wheel tighter, my knuckles turning white, trying to keep my voice steady even as everything inside me feels like it’s unraveling. The thought of her walking away over something stupid—something I can’t control—makes my chest feel like it’s caving in. I can handle anything life throws at me, but the idea of losing her? That’s the one thing that could break me.
“I didn’t say that. What I’m saying is…” She traces her fingertip along the thigh of her pants, connecting dots that only she can see. “I want a family. And I know you said you can’t have kids, but that’s not the same as being open to other ways of having kids… unless you don’t want kids at all? I guess I just need to clarify exactly what you meant when you said that.”
I risk a glance away from the road to meet her eyes. “Are you actually ready to have this conversation?”
She nods.
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and lock my hands around the wheel. “I want kids. I want a family. I’m not dead-set on them being my biological children, but I don’t know that much about the adoption process, so if I were going to seriously consider that route, I’d have a lot of questions. If it was really important to you, I’d be open to considering a sperm donor if it comes to that.”
“Really?” I can feel her eyes on me.
“Really. I know a lot of guys have this complex about passing on their DNA, but I just… I think I’d make a good dad. Having biological kids doesn’t guarantee that you’ll have a great relationship with them, so why should the reverse be any different? I want to have a relationship with my kid, or kids. That’s more important to me.”
“Wow.” Viv lets out a shaky breath. “You’ve really thought about this.”
“I’ve considered adopting on my own, for what it’s worth,” I tell her, my voice steady but thick with emotion. “I come from a close family, Viv. Like, the kind of family where Sunday dinners are sacred, and every birthday, every milestone, is celebrated like it’s a national holiday. I’ve got two older sisters who still call me their ‘baby brother’ even though I’m a grown-ass man, and a mom who would move mountains for us. My dad? He’s the reason I know what it means to be a good man, a good parent. That’s the kind of love I grew up with and the kind of love I’d want to give to a kid—whether I raised them alone or not.”
I glance over, and she’s watching me, her lips parted like she’s about to speak, but I keep going because I need her to understand. “I don’t think a kid has to be biologically mine for me to be what they need. I’ve thought about it, a lot actually. How I could give a kid a stable home, be someone they could count on. Even if it was just me. I know what a good family feels like, Viv. I’d want to give that to someone, no matter how it happens. And you… I know you, of all people, know what that means.”
Her fingertip pauses its path on her thigh, and I can feel the weight of her thoughts in the silence that follows. “You really believe that?” she asks softly.
I nod. “I don’t just believe it—I know it. And if I’m being honest, the idea of doing that with you? It’s not just something I’d consider. It’s something I’d want.”
She grins. “Does that mean Blade’s your practice kid? Like a trial run?”
I bark a laugh. “No, nothing like that. I have to travel a lot for work, and my knee slows me down… Logistically, I haven’t been in a place where I could do the single dad thing. But yeah, it’s always on my mind. I don’t want to wait too long and miss the opportunity.”
Viv rides in silence for a while. As we pull through the community gates, she says, “For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a great dad, too.”
I pull up to the house, and we walk to the door, more subdued than usual. On the outside, I’m quiet. Inside, I’m having a full episode. Viv and I have never discussed our relationship in these terms, as if it might last, as if the future holds anything substantial for us.
Blade seems to sense that something’s different. Instead of bowling Viv over the moment she steps through the door, he hovers at her feet until she settles on the couch. I head to the fridge to dig up one of the many ice packs I have on hand.
“Your poor face,” I murmur as I sit beside her. I hold the pack to her cheek. She hisses. I jerk back. “Sorry, did that—?”
“It’s just cold.” She takes the pack from my hand and presses it to her cheek. “Maybe you could kiss it and make it better?”
I chuckle and slide one arm around her. “You want me to kiss your face?”
“No, I’ve got the ice pack for that.” Viv guides one of my hands to her crotch. “Although I can think of a few places you could kiss me that might take my mind off the pain.”
I’m about to make a smart remark when the doorbell rings. Blade bolts upright and charges toward the door for the usual barking shitshow.
I roll my eyes. “Now? I swear to God. I’m gonna kill the idiot ringing my bell in the middle of the day.”
The bell rings again. Damn mailman probably needs me to sign for a package or some such thing. I peer through the peephole.
Noah Abbott is standing on my front step.
“One second!” I call over Blade’s howls. “I just need to crate my dog!” I drag Blade away from the door and wave to Vivian that she needs to follow me. “It’s your father!” I mouth. “Hide!”
She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
I drag Blade over to her and speak in an undertone that won’t reach Noah’s ears over my dog’s tantrum. “Do you want him to find you here before we’ve had the opportunity to pave the way? In my house, with a giant bruise on your face? We absolutely need to tell him. The sooner the better. But I think we can both agree that now is not the time.”
Viv wrinkles her nose. “Good point.” She heaves herself off the couch and follows me back to what I now think of as Blade’s bedroom. At least with Viv’s company, Blade settles down pretty quickly. I close the door and hurry back to the living room to let Noah in.
“Hey.” I open the door, all casual-like. “Noah. What brings you here?”
The man lumbers past me with stooped shoulders and his hands in his pockets. “I figured it out,” he mutters.
I gulp. I can feel the blood draining from my face. “Figured what out?” If he came here to accuse me of seducing his daughter and then finds her hiding in the back room looking like she does, that won’t help our cause at all.
In fact, I’ll probably end up with my own face re-arranged.
“I figured out who you really are.” He spins back to me, and I’m startled to see that his eyes are red-rimmed. “I’m the one who ended your career. I mean not on purpose or anything.”
“Oh.” I scratch the back of my neck. “Yeah, that.”
“Yeah, that?” Noah’s eyes bulge. “Seriously? I’ve been talking to you for months without the faintest idea that I’m the reason your knee hurts all the damn time. I’m the reason you had to retire early, and you never got the career you deserved!”
“And me retiring early is also why my wife divorced me,” I add. Yeah, yeah, I know. At this point, the truth has lost its sting.
It’s Noah’s turn to go pale. “What?”
“Oh, nothing.” I wave the words away. “Is there a reason you came here rather than having this conversation at the arena tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” Noah pats the paper bag under his arm. I’ve been so distracted that I didn’t notice it until now. “I brought a bottle of Sassenach and a…” He winces. “A gift card. Jesus, now that I’m saying that, I don’t love how it sounds.”
I blink at him. “You realized that us getting tangled up in a messy play ended my career, and you brought me whiskey and a gift card to make up for it?”
“Good whiskey,” he clarifies. “And in my defense, I brought it so that we could have a talk. A real talk. I thought it might make things easier.”
All I want to do is shove Noah out the door and get back to my conversation with his daughter, but it slowly dawns on me that this is a good opportunity to lay some important groundwork.
Besides, I’m not mad at Noah anymore. The goalie stick to the knee? That was an occupational hazard. I knew I could get injured playing hockey, and I played anyway. Yeah, technically he was involved in the injury that ended my hockey career, but I like what I’m doing now. And if I was still with Larisse, I would never have found Viv, who lights up my whole world.
If Noah is going to be my father-in-law someday, I’d like to know him better. Not as the villain in my story, but the hero in Vivian’s. The man who took in his niece when she lost her parents. I know I couldn’t make it as a single dad with our schedules, but Noah had the same constraints, and he made it work.
It’s totally admirable.
He’s done so much for the woman I love that I can’t blame him for an accident fifteen years ago. Not when I could be acknowledging a lifetime of affection and care.
I have a lot to learn from this man.
“Let me get some rocks glasses,” I say. “We can drink in the backyard, okay?”
I make sure that Noah sits with his back to the house. Once we’ve got our whiskey in front of us, I text Viv to let her know she’s clear to leave and promise to pay for her ride back to the Mona Lisa later tonight. A few minutes later, her silhouette crosses through the living room. She waves before slipping out the front door.
“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you,” Noah moans. “And you never said anything!”
“At first, I thought it would be awkward,” I admit. “But I got over it. I see how you are with, uh, with Viktor and the other players. You’re a mentor. A class act. By then, bringing it up would have felt petty and beside the point. Sometimes it’s best that the past stays in the past.”
“What was it like?” Noah asks. “Leaving the league like that?”
I tell him the truth.
“It was hard. Really hard. But it got easier, and in the end, I didn’t lose anything that couldn’t be replaced. I lost my old life, but I found myself in the process.”
In so many words, I forgive him completely and leave the past where it belongs: in the rearview mirror.
* * *
When Noah leaves to walk back to his place a few hours later, I call Viktor.
“Abbott,” I bark, “I need your friend Sofia’s shop info. The jewelry store, you know. I don’t have the name.”
He groans into the receiver. “Why don’t you just ask Vivian?”
“Because it’s a surprise. Obviously. Just tell me the name of her shop and I’ll stop pestering you.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he mutters. “I’ll text you the website when we hang up. What do you want it for, anyway? Thinking of getting your ears pierced, Coach? Maybe adding some diamonds to your regular look?”
“Ha ha,” I deadpan. “Just text me the info, you smartass little fuck.”
Viktor doesn’t need to know that I’m in the market for an engagement ring.