18. If I caught a fish like him, I’d throw out every other line and guard that pond with a taser.”
"If I caught a fish like him, I’d throw out every other line and guard that pond with a taser.”
Kat
The trauma bay is wrapped in the scents of antiseptic and burnt adrenaline.
We’ve had two car accidents, one ruptured spleen, and a dislocated shoulder from someone falling down a set of tube station stairs, all before I even had the chance to finish my tea.
But that’s just how I like it—fast-paced.
No time to think, no time to feel. Especially not today.
Because every time I have a second to myself, I can’t help but remember that glorious kiss earlier.
Why does Archie have to be such a good kisser?
I peel off my gloves and drag myself into the staff room, my scrubs clinging to my skin after hours on my feet. I check the board—clear for now—and pour myself a cup of vending-machine coffee, even though it tastes like socks.
Sinking into one of the chairs, I sigh, grateful for the brief reprieve. I loosen my hair tie just enough to let my scalp breathe. The room is quiet, broken only by the hum of the fridge and the faint crackle of a muted TV.
Oh. The match is on.
Someone must have left it tuned into BBC Sport, and because I’m lucky that way, there he is in the corner of the screen, guarding the net in that flattering navy kit that really shouldn’t be legal. Archie is all sharp focus and coiled readiness.
I can’t peel my eyes off the screen, instantly pulled into the match. Or maybe it’s just Archie. I wish the other team played better so we’d see him more. An opponent trips Wade, and I bang my hand on the table. “What the—”
“Whatcha doing?”
I jump in my chair and turn to see my colleague, Jana. I didn’t even hear the door open—even with the TV on mute.
“Wait, are you watching football?” Her eyes widen.
“No!” I exclaim, but I can feel a blush seeping into my cheeks.
Jana must have noticed too. “Oh, do tell,” she says, grabbing a bag of crisps and sitting across from me. “I sense an interesting story.”
“It's really not,” I say, resisting the urge to glance at the TV again.
“Please,” she whines, slumping in her chair. “I’m dying of boredom over here. I’ve had back-to-back sessions with two hypochondriacs and a conspiracy theorist, and I need a distraction. You’d be doing a public service.”
Poor Jana. Psychiatry always freaked me out. People aren’t my forte.
“It's nothing.” I sigh, catching a glimpse of the TV. “Just my neighbour, the guy manning the goal.” She frowns. “Wait, the neighbour? Insufferable, selfish, and allergic to hygiene?”
I wince, remembering spouting off those exact words. “Well, I got to know him. And it turns out he’s not that bad.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Why the smolder in your eyes, then? You say ‘not that bad,’ but I can practically see you two making out on your doorstep.”
I wince again, then bite my bottom lip. “It was in the gym, actually,” I mumble.
Jana leans back in her chair with a sigh. “Wow, I'm good.”
Her eyes settle on the TV for a few minutes, and lucky for us, Archie just blocked a goal and is about to clear the ball.
“He's a fine man,” she says when the screen flicks to another section of the pitch. “You're a lucky girl.”
I practically choke on my coffee. “Oh no, no, no. It's just casual, not exclusive or anything like that.”
“You know, the more times you say ‘no,’ the greater the chances you’re only fooling yourself.” She winks.
I must be beet-red by now. “Is that a shrink secret?”
“Definitely. And no woman in her right mind would let that man date other people. If I caught a fish like him, I’d throw out every other line and guard that pond with a taser.”
I force a chuckle, but she’s right. The mere thought of Archie kissing another woman makes me want to set the entire hospital on fire. Or vomit all over the floor.
But that’s the thing. I’m not in my right mind when it comes to relationships. Because no matter how much I like Archie, I know I can’t fall for him. It has to stay casual, for everyone’s sake.
Otherwise, it will only end with me broken-hearted and him strolling out to greener pastures—a woman who can provide him with the child I can’t, and won’t, give him. But I have to accept that. Everyone has their burden to carry in life, and this is mine.
My phone rings as I exit the hospital parking lot, and I see that it’s Grace. I almost ignore her. It’s just after midnight, I’m exhausted and vulnerable, and I’m a terrible liar.
But my midnight lack of judgment takes over, and I pick up.
“Hey, you,” she chirps, and despite everything, her cheery greeting makes me smile. It’s a nice change of pace, hearing my best friend this happy. She’s had a rough few years. “Shift ending or starting? Or in the middle?”
I chuckle. “Just leaving the parking lot. It was a long night.”
“Glad it’s over,” she says. “I’ve been in the studio all day recording another audiobook. Just wanted to take a small break and see how you were doing.”
“Oh, what are you recording?” I ask. I love that she gave up her high-powered job to do something she actually enjoys.
“My friend Aria’s new book. It’s so good. You’ll have to listen to it. Anyway, what’s new on your end? How’s your mum?”
“Did I tell you the spot on her neck was cancerous?” I ask, switching lanes. “I don’t remember where we left off.”
“No!”
“She’s fine,” I add quickly. “They caught it early, thank goodness. They’re removing it next week. Her boyfriend’s taking her since they’re back together now.”
“You must be relieved. Glad she finally went to get it checked out.”
“I know.” I blow out a breath. “All thanks to Archie.”
“Archie?” she repeats. And there you go. Told you I was too tired for this conversation. “My brother-in-law? What does he have to do with your mum?”
“He went with me to dinner at my mum’s. It’s no big deal,” I say, but I know my half-hearted explanation won’t cut it. Grace was a lawyer. Getting you to say stuff you don’t want to spill is her specialty.
“Really? Remind me, how many times have you had dinner with your mum and your neighbours?”
“Shut up,” I say, rolling to a stop at a red light.
“Are you two together? Be honest now.”
“No, no, no, no,” I say, wincing at the extra “no” that just made an appearance.
“Oof, that’s a lie,” she says plainly. “Way too many nos.”
I frown. “Is everyone in on this but me?”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“Never mind. And anyway, I’m not lying. Archie and I kissed, yes.” I squeeze the steering wheel tighter, immensely grateful that we’re not on a video call. “And we’re casually dating. Emphasis on casual. You know as well as I do why this situationship can’t be anything more.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “Well, good for you, then. Glad you have someone special in your life. I knew you two would hit it off.”
“As friends,” I emphasise.
“Friends who kiss, but sure, let’s go with that.”
I groan. “Grace, I meant what I said. I never want another Troy or Greg debacle. I wouldn’t survive a third time.”
“I know,” she says. “Archie’s a good guy. He’s fun, and as long as you’re clear on what you want, you should be fine.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for.” I stifle another yawn. “Listen, I just pulled into the garage. Would you hate me if I cut this short?”
“Of course not. Just wanted to hear your voice. Talk soon, okay?”
“Yeah. Night.”
I end the call and march toward the lift, my footsteps echoing faintly in the dimly lit car park. I lean against the lift’s wall as I wait. My body droops with exhaustion, but my mind is racing.
When I reach our landing, I can’t help but steal a glance at Archie’s door—like I’ve done a hundred times before.
But the feeling is different tonight. In the past, I used to stand here debating whether knocking like a maniac would be enough to wake him up and exact revenge for whatever annoying thing he’d done that day.
Or wondering whether I should escalate to something louder, like a horn.
Now, I’m still debating, but this time, the war is waging in an entirely different corner of my brain.
I’m asking myself whether this casual thing is really a good idea.
If the taste of his lips, the grip of his hands on my back, the press of his chest against mine, is worth the risk of getting hurt again.
And just like that, the debate is settled.