23. Goose
Chapter 23
Goose
The cold air that blasted me in the face when I stepped outside was the shock to the system I needed, and I took a deep breath, inhaling the chill into my lungs.
I didn’t care about the ticket. I didn’t care that the officer played it by the book, treating me like a drunk driver, when the gleam in his eyes told me he knew exactly why I’d jerked the wheel and been going too fast. Hell, I didn’t even care that he’d stared at my woman’s chest like he had any right to do so.
None of that was what had my fists clenched by my side as I kept an eye on Cannoli while he did his business.
What bothered me about what happened tonight was that Gemma hadn’t trusted me to handle the situation when I’d told her point-blank that I would.
On some level, I understood it. She’d been on her own for a long time and wasn’t used to being taken care of. That, and the clues she’d dropped during our few short months together hinted at being mistreated by men, hence the trust issues.
I’d been witness to her lashing out at men in a position of power before. I’d found it amusing. Hell, it had been a fucking turn-on.
But not tonight.
For some reason, I had let myself believe we’d broken through that barrier. There had been a shift in our relationship after the night I took care of her when she was in unbearable pain. I stayed over that night after drawing a line at Christmas that I would only do so if we were going to have sex. I even went so far as to double down by taking her over to Evie and Jenner’s the following morning to see if she might spook. When she didn’t, and I worked my way into securing a key to her place, spending all my free time there, it almost felt like she had truly let me in. That this was the real relationship I’d been hoping for from the start.
Apparently, my eyes only saw what they wanted to see.
In reality, Gemma was no closer to letting down her walls and allowing me inside.
That changed tonight.
I meant what I said. I was bound and determined to earn her trust, and if the path in doing so was through sexual acts, then so be it.
Snapping my fingers, I called Cannoli back to the patio and led him inside. After he got a drink of water, I helped get him settled on his dog bed for the night. I could only pray that whatever sounds he heard coming from upstairs wouldn’t wake him because, once we got started, I wasn’t stopping for anything.
I tossed my jacket on the hook near the door and headed upstairs. By the time I entered her bedroom, Gemma was sitting on the edge of the mattress, hair damp and dressed in a sleep shirt, nervously twisting her hands.
Fear-filled hazel eyes peeked up at me as her lower lip trembled, her voice weak as she asked, “Wh-what are you going to do to me?”
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. “Gemma, I’m not going to hurt you. I never will. The idea alone tears me up inside.” Stepping closer, I knelt before her, taking her fidgeting hands between my steady ones. “I’m going to make you feel good, but it’s going to require every ounce of your trust.”
Her lips turned down in a frown. “I don’t understand.”
Bringing our joined hands to my mouth, I dusted a kiss over her knuckles, whispering, “I know, but you will soon.”
Gently, I tugged her to standing. My fingers skimmed the bare skin of her thighs, trailing a path upward until I reached the hem of her shirt.
“Arms up.”
Silently, she obeyed my command. It was a good start, but we had a long way to go.
I dragged the material over her torso and raised arms until it cleared her body completely, and I tossed it aside.
When I found her bare beneath the garment, I let out a pleased hum.
“On the bed.”
Dipping her chin, Gemma peeked at me through those thick black lashes. Her hesitation, though brief, was enough to set me on edge.
My voice grew firm, and I snapped, “Now.”
That was enough to have her scrambling onto the mattress, easing onto her back in the center.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I began, kicking off my shoes and ripping off my shirt. “That giving up trust makes you weak. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.” Unfastening my jeans, I shoved them down my thighs along with my boxers, leaving me standing naked before her. “When you give someone your trust in a committed relationship—which is what I believe we share, no matter what you might think—you’re granting them permission to keep you safe, believing with absolute certainty that they will care for you and put your well-being above all others. At least, that’s what it means to me.”
Gemma slammed her eyes shut, a shaky exhale rushing past her lips.
Crawling onto the bed, I trailed kisses up her legs and over her belly before pressing one right over her beating heart.
Against that part of her I coveted above all others, I said, “I know you’re scared. That someone in your past trampled on your heart, and you’re terrified to make the same mistake with me.”
I settled my chin on her sternum, giving me a stunning view of her face as her lashes fluttered open.
Skin to skin, with her eyes on me, I poured all my love into the following words. “I would rather die than cause you a single ounce of pain, physical or emotional, Gemma. I need you to know that. You’re the most important person in the world to me. And you always will be.”
She sucked in a sharp breath, holding my stare.
The time for talking was over. Words might affect her, but they weren’t enough. I needed to show her.
If the room weren’t so emotionally charged, I might’ve laughed. This woman was unlike any other I’d ever met, so why was I surprised that it would be sexual acts that won her over instead of grand romantic gestures?
Shifting, I closed the gap between our mouths, teasing inside hers slowly as I used my tongue to speak in a language she seemed to understand.
She moaned, arching her back, pressing our bodies flush. Cradling her face with one hand as I hovered above her, I used my other to pull one thigh over my hip, letting her pussy coat my dick as I rocked against where she was already dripping wet for me.
“Sasha.” Gemma tore her lips away with a gasp. She lifted her pelvis, trying to line us up so she could take me inside. Whining in frustration as I peppered kisses along her jaw and down her neck, she begged, “I need you.”
“I know,” I murmured against the pulse point at the base of her throat, my dick throbbing as she rubbed against me.
Clawing at my back, she worked her hands lower until she had her palms gripping my ass, fingers spread wide as she tried to force our connection.
The plan hadn’t been to give her my cock tonight, but I couldn’t deny it would be a good starting point in preparing her pussy for the main event.
Centering myself, I thrust home, hissing as she clenched around me in surprise at the sudden stretch.
“Fuck!” Gemma screamed, head thrown back, breathing through the burn.
Oh, baby, we’re just getting started.
I warned myself not to get carried away, to remember my main objective. But the tight, hot pussy molded perfectly to my cock threatened to throw all my prior plans out the window. Would it be so bad to just fuck her hard and fast?
Yes, because that’s not going to get you what you want.
Fuck my subconscious for being right. I had a hard time keeping my shit straight when buried inside her. But who could blame me? This was the closest thing to heaven that I would ever experience on Earth.
“Gotta get you ready,” I grunted, circling my hips to stretch her out further.
“Oh God.” Gemma writhed beneath me.
Pushing up onto my knees, I needed to see where we were joined, to watch as that pretty pussy loosened up.
I hitched her thighs back, pinning them to the mattress so she was unable to move.
Squealing, she tried to squirm away, panting, “It’s too deep.”
She was right about that. I could feel the head of my cock bumping into the end of her.
In the back of my brain, I knew I was bare. The primal urge to come inside her was almost enough to have me losing control, abandoning everything I set out to do after tonight’s incident.
If I didn’t pull out right now, I might never earn her elusive trust.
Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to draw my hips back enough that my length slipped out.
I gripped my shaft—still shiny, slick with her juices—tugging on it rapidly to relieve the pressure building in my balls.
Gemma rose on her elbows, shock filtering over her face when she saw what I was doing. “Sasha, no!”
It was too late. With a deep groan, I kept stroking as my abs tensed and the pleasure of my release tore through me, the sticky proof spilling over my hand and onto the sheets.
Eyes wide, staring at the mess I’d made, Gemma screeched, “What the fuck?” She scrambled up the bed until her back bumped into the headboard, her naked form vibrating with rage.
“You’re right,” she spat. “Your idea of trust isn’t some power play. Except that it is , because you’re getting your rocks off in front of me instead of letting me come. Ooooh, look at the big man; he has the ability to deny orgasms. Well, guess what? You fucked up somewhere along the way because you taught me how to give them to myself, so I don’t need you anymore.” With a trembling hand, she pointed toward the door. “Get out.”
While she ranted, I was finally able to catch my breath after coming all over the bed. “Done yet?”
Her jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”
Moving closer, carefully guarding my balls from a well-aimed kick, I repeated myself. “I said, are you done yet?”
She gestured to the wet spot I’d left behind near the foot of the bed and scoffed. “Definitely not.”
Straddling her lap, I squeezed my thighs around her hips to keep her immobile as I gripped her chin, tilting her face up. “I mean, are you done mouthing off?”
“You know, you have some nerve—”
“The plan was never to give you my cock, Gemma,” I confessed.
Her brows drew down, forming a wrinkle between them. “But downstairs, I chose pussy.”
“You did,” I agreed. “But if it were as simple as that to earn your trust, you’d have given it to me long before now. Don’t you think?”
I could see the gears turning as she turned over my rational explanation in her mind. Her face was so expressive that it gave away everything she was thinking.
“What else could you do?”
A wicked grin stretched across my face before I softly pressed my lips to hers. “Oh, baby, I’m so glad you asked.”
With the fight gone out of her, I was confident I could shift my body off hers without fear of bodily harm.
Easing away from her, I gripped her ankles, delighting in the yelp that sounded when I yanked her flat onto her back. Positioning her diagonally across the mattress, I climbed up beside her, settling onto my side.
My hand pressed over her rising chest, teasing goosebumps to the surface as I trailed my touch lower, fingertips skimming over the indent of her belly before dipping over her mound and through her slit.
Her lips parted on an exhale, and her gaze met mine, those beautiful eyes burning gold in her lust.
“My cock was only a warm-up, sweetheart.” I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, tongue trailing along her collarbone.
“W-warm-up?” Gemma stuttered. “Warm-up for what?”
“You’ll see.” I teased her clit, rubbing my fingers in tight circles over the swollen bud until her hips bucked, needing more.
Shifting my hand, I shoved three fingers deep inside her. They slid in easily, and suddenly I didn’t feel so bad for deviating from the original plan by letting my cock have a little playtime.
“You need to come?” I rasped in Gemma’s ear.
“God, yes,” came her breathy reply as she rode my hand, eagerly meeting my slow thrusts.
Twisting my wrist, I worked it so my thumb could keep toying with her clit while I worked her over with my fingers, picking up the pace.
“Right there!” she cried out, gasping.
“I know, baby. Relax, and let me make you feel good.”
Back arching, her body seized, my name a chant on her tongue as her pussy gripped my fingers, rippling around them as her orgasm claimed her.
Eventually, her body melted into the mattress, lips parted, eyes sealed shut. The sound of her harsh breathing was music to my ears in the otherwise silent room.
“So beautiful. I could watch that forever and never tire of it.”
Gemma hummed, placing a hand over her heaving chest.
Pressing a kiss to her temple, I shifted down her body.
“Where are you going?” Weak arms reached for me as I slid lower, setting up camp between her parted thighs.
“Don’t wanna miss the show.”
“Show?” Her throat bobbed on a swallow before she cracked her eyes open, brows drawn.
I ran my palm over her pussy, before turning my hand over and coating the other side with as much of her release as I could.
Gemma watched my actions, her confusion evident when I held up my hand for inspection.
Lube would have been ideal, but this would do in a pinch.
Pressing my fingers together, I brought my hand back to her entrance, this time forcing four fingers inside.
Moaning, Gemma gripped the sheets, holding on for dear life as I spread the digits, stretching her wide.
I gave her a few pumps like that, and when I was sure she could handle it, I tucked my thumb to my palm and pushed as deep as I could, her body resisting taking my hand past that final knuckle.
“It’s too much,” she whined from above, trying to clamp her legs closed when I twisted my fist, opening her up further.
“Gemma, baby. Look at me.”
Her head thrashed from side to side. Damp, tangled hair stuck to her face with the motion.
“This is the part where I need you to make a choice. Look at me.”
Thin slits of hazel peeked back at me. Good enough.
“You have a decision to make. And I can’t make it for you. I can only tell you how it will play out based on your choice.” I paused before explaining her options. “You can let the fear of the unknown take over, tense up, and this is gonna hurt like hell because you’ll be fighting against it instead of working with me. Or, you can take a deep breath, relax, and trust me. If you do, I promise this will feel amazing. But you have to give yourself over to me completely. There’s no middle ground. You’re either all in with me, or you’re not.”
I watched the war play out on her face as her nostrils flared with each exhale. Her pussy was tight around my fingers, and I prayed I wouldn’t be the one to bring her pain. She had to know that was the last thing I wanted.
Choose me, baby. I promise I’ll never let you down.
Almost as if she could hear my silent plea, she took a deep breath, her tensed thighs falling open, as she whispered, “Make me feel good, Sasha.”
My lungs burned, and that’s when I realized I’d been holding my breath while awaiting her answer. Sucking in a greedy gulp of air, I let the black spots clear from my vision before praising her, “That’s my girl. Keep breathing and don’t tense up, okay? I’ve got you.”
A stuttered breath flew past her lips, and she gave me the tiniest nod.
Pumping my hand a few more times, twisting as I went, I coached, “Deep breath on three. One. Two. Three.”
Gemma’s chest expanded, and I pushed past that last bit of resistance.
Instantly, her eyes flew open and her torso lurched from the mattress. Her throaty groan was one born from pleasure versus pain, so I thanked God for not making a liar out of me tonight.
I caught her falling onto her back from the corner of my eye, too mesmerized by the sight of only my wrist visible between her thighs with my fist buried inside her.
“Fuck, Kitten,” I breathed in awe. “You should see how your pussy sucked my whole hand inside.”
Twisting my fist, I made sure my knuckles were pressed along her G-spot, massaging it with each rotation.
Whimpering, she bucked her hips, chasing more.
“Do you get it now?” When she didn’t respond, I barked, “Gemma!”
Jaw clenched tight, she uttered, “What?”
“Do you get it now? That you can trust me? Even when it seems impossible and scary? Because I will always take care of you. You come first. Forever.”
Her head bobbed in understanding.
“I need to hear the words, baby.”
“Yes!” Her cry split the air. “I trust you!”
“Good.” I pumped inside her gently. “Now, I want you to feel it.”
“Oh, I feel it,” she gritted out.
With my free hand, I pried her fingers free of the sheets. Placing her palm over her lower belly, I pressed mine atop it, applying pressure.
Gemma gasped, but I hammered the point home anyway. “This right here. This is what it feels like to trust me.” I knew the bulge of my massive fist inside her body could be felt from the outside. “If you ever have doubts, I want you to touch this spot and remember tonight. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” she practically sobbed.
“You did so well,” I praised. “Now I think it’s time for a little reward, don’t you think, baby?”
A breathy moan came in reply. She was past the point of words.
Pulling her hand aside, I replaced it with my own, applying firm pressure as I pounded inside her with my fist. Her walls were hugging me tight, clenching in time with my thrusts, greedily sucking me back inside each time I threatened to pull out.
As stunning as that sight was, a symbol of her hard-earned trust, it paled in comparison to the beautiful face of the woman I loved, twisted in pleasure as I drove her higher and higher.
Gemma writhed on the bed, an endless stream of guttural grunts floating past her lips. No doubt this was more intense than anything we’d done prior, and she was lost to it, letting the sensations take over as I commanded her body.
I’d already taken so much from her tonight, but there was one more thing I wanted.
Pressing down with my palm over her mound, I increased the pace at which I punched over that secret spot inside her, ramming into it repeatedly.
“Fuck!” Gemma’s scream could barely be heard over the buzzing in my ears.
“Come on, baby,” I coaxed. “Give me a show.”
Her body drew taut for a split second before convulsing as she shattered on command. Hot liquid burst from between her thighs, drenching my arm and the sheets beneath her.
Thighs hugged my wrist, and heels dug into the mattress as Gemma tried to escape the onslaught of pleasure, but there was nowhere to hide.
“Don’t fight it, baby. Ride it out.”
That was apparently easier said than done as she clawed at me, mindless in her release.
Eventually, her movements calmed, her screams tapering off to soft whimpers, and I slowed my thrusts.
“That’s it. Deep breaths.” My voice was gravelly, my cock painfully hard after witnessing the erotic scene before me. I’d happily suffer from blue balls if it meant tonight marked the start of a new chapter in my relationship with Gemma.
Rotating my wrist, I eased my fist from her pussy, and she hissed when the widest part cleared her stretched-out entrance.
Hoarse words floated down from above. “You wrecked my vagina.”
My chuckle couldn’t be contained. “It’ll snap back. I promise.”
Breathing still ragged, she huffed, “Do this often?”
“Nah, only once before.” I held up my shiny fist for her inspection. “But you gotta figure a baby’s head is bigger than this, and women recover after that.”
Gemma’s hazel eyes bulged as she surveyed the size of my clenched fist.
“What? I’m not wrong.”
Gaze shifting to the ceiling, she shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”
Wrapping my fingers around her ankle, I stroked the bone with my thumb, admitting, “You’re gonna be sore for a few days, though.”
A snort sounded. “Ya think?”
“You want me to draw you a bath so you can soak for a bit, or will a warm washcloth suffice?”
Locking eyes with me, something new lurked in their green-gold depths. I wanted to believe it was trust, but not wanting to get my hopes up, I convinced myself that maybe it was simply acceptance—she was coming to realize that she couldn’t outrun fate, and no matter how hard she pushed me away, I would never give her up.
“I can’t feel my legs,” Gemma whispered.
My fingers teased up her calf and back down again. “You know I have no problem carrying you.”
The way she gnawed on her lower lip, I could tell there was something else on her mind.
“What is it?”
“Do you think you could get in with me if I want a bath?”
Flicking my gaze toward the ensuite, I suddenly wished we were at my place. The two of us weren’t small people, and my tub was big enough for both of us and more.
I’d never offered to take her there, not wanting to put unnecessary pressure on our fragile arrangement. Maybe soon, we could cross that threshold, but we were working on Gemma’s timeline, not mine.
My silence had her backtracking. “It’s okay if you don’t want to. I just thought—”
Squeezing her ankle, I cut her off. “Of course I want to. Nothing would make me happier than having you naked and wet in my arms.” When she relaxed, I sighed, explaining, “Your tub’s not that big.”
A corner of that vixen’s lips turned up in a sexy smirk. “I don’t mind the tight fit.”
Laughter rumbled up from my chest, and my head tipped back as I let it fill the room. “That’s not what you were saying half an hour ago.”
When she kicked her leg, I let it slip from my grasp. The sole of her foot teased over my thigh. “Maybe I’ve seen the error of my ways.”
I lunged, caging her in from above. “What are you saying, Kitten?”
Lifting her head, she nipped at my jaw, murmuring, “I’m ready to let you take care of me, Sasha.”
My eyes slammed shut. Those words might as well have been a beacon, a shining symbol of her trust.
It was the most precious gift she could have ever given me.