CHAPTER TWELVE
Connor sighed shakily as he quietly closed Jesse’s door behind him. He could still feel Jesse’s lips against his, smell the scent of his body lingering in his nose.
After Jesse had come, after they’d kissed, Jesse had worked open Connor’s jeans and pulled his aching cock out. He’d slicked his hand with lube, rubbing and tugging at Connor’s dick until he came with a strangled moan all over Jesse’s already messy abs.
Connor’s entire body felt limp with relief now, head swimming at the thought of what they’d done. What he’d agreed to do going forward. Had he actually agreed to some weird, exclusive fuck-buddy relationship with his goaltender?
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. What had he been thinking?
In the heat of the moment, it had made perfect sense. With jealousy swirling in Connor’s brain, his heart pounding in his chest, and his cock pressing insistently against the fly of his jeans, it had felt like the only solution.
The only way Connor wouldn’t lose his fucking mind this season. Because the thought of watching Jesse fuck everyone but him would have. He was sure of that.
But it presented plenty of other complications that he could hardly stand to think about.
This wasn’t how Connor ran his locker room, wasn’t how he lived his life. He was steady and predictable and he made careful decisions. He was structured and disciplined with his eye on the prize.
He wasn’t reckless or impulsive. That was Jesse, not him. But apparently Jesse had been rubbing off on him.
Connor let out a strangled little noise. Fuck, they’d done a lot more than rub off together. He still couldn’t get the image of Jesse coming out of his head. He’d been so fucking gorgeous when he came apart, crying out against Connor’s mouth, body trembling after.
And fuck, Connor didn’t care that it was a toy that had helped him get there. He’d loved being able to use it on Jesse, loved the way Jesse had melted after, relaxed and boneless and soft.
Connor wasn’t so sure he loved that Jesse had teased and taunted him into agreeing to this, but, truthfully, there was no way he could’ve resisted for much longer. Jesse made his blood hot in a way that he’d never felt before.
Behind him, the door opened and Jesse, wearing just a towel now, peered out. “What are you doing lurking outside my door like a weirdo?”
“I wasn’t lurking!” Connor protested, dragging a hand through his hair. “I was … thinking.”
“In the dark? In the hallway?” Jesse’s voice and expression were equally disbelieving.
Connor grumbled, “Shut up.”
Jesse snorted, opening his mouth with what was undoubtedly a chirp at his lack of clever retort so Connor glanced around to be sure there weren’t any kids nearby, then pressed his lips to Jesse’s.
Chuckling against Connor’s mouth, Jesse kissed him back, his eyes sparkling when he drew away. “You’re going to use that to your advantage, aren’t you?”
“You damn well better believe it,” Connor agreed. Because kissing might be the only thing that actually quieted Jesse for any length of time. He gruffly added, “Now go to bed.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.” With a two-finger salute and another soft laugh, Jesse kissed him again, then shut the bedroom door in his face.
Connor’s head was still spinning as he walked away, heading downstairs. He’d only made it halfway down the stairs when the front door opened, revealing his son.
“Nolan!” Connor yelped. “You’re home.”
Fuck! If Nolan had been a few minutes earlier, he would have seen them kissing in the hallway. Could have heard them through the wall Nolan and Jesse’s room shared. Not to mention, the girls could have come looking for him, for fuck’s sake! Connor hadn’t even locked the door.
Shit, Connor was gonna have to be way, way more careful in the future. He hadn’t told the kids about his sexuality or that it had played any part in the divorce. He and Viv had agreed to tell the kids that they’d grown apart and were better off separate. It had seemed to work. They were devastated, of course, but there was no one to be pissed at.
Though Nolan still held a grudge against his mother.
Nolan looked up with a puzzled frown. “Uhh, yeah. That okay, Dad?”
Connor cleared his throat. What had Nolan asked? Oh, was it okay that he was home. “Yeah, of course. You’re”—he glanced at his smart watch—”uh, right on time.”
Nolan shot him an amused look. “I mean, I have practice and school tomorrow, so … yeah?”
“Right. Well, I’m proud of you.”
“Uhh, thanks. Why are you being so weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” Connor protested. Although yeah, he probably was. Shit . He crossed his arms over his chest. “How was Kyler? What did you guys get up to tonight?”
Nolan turned away, tossing his shoes into the basket near the door that Connor had for each kid, rather than a shelf or cubby that they’d never use. Not his idea, his mother’s. He wasn’t that smart.
“Uhh, nothing much,” Nolan said when he turned back, shoving his hands in his hoodie pockets. “Video games and stuff. You?”
Oh fuck, Connor hadn’t thought that one through. “Umm, uh, talked to Jesse for a bit. Team stuff, you know?”
That was one word for it, anyway.
Nolan shot him another weird look. “That’s cool. He seems like he’ll fit in the locker room well.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
They stared at each other for a few moments before Nolan looked away. “Well, I should …” He pointed up the stairs where Connor was still blocking his path.
“Right, right.” Connor trotted down the stairs. “You go on up and get in bed then.”
“I will.” Nolan jogged past him, but paused halfway up. “Hey, Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think … do you think that Jesse and Tanner are …”
Oh boy. “Uhh,” Connor said, floundering for how to answer that one. “They used to be involved, yeah. Jesse said they weren’t anymore, though.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Why?”
“I dunno.” Nolan looked away. “Just, like, wondering. I kinda got that vibe but I wasn’t sure.”
“Yeah, well, Jesse is bisexual, like your Uncle Anders.” And me , Connor thought with a little twist of his stomach. But he wasn’t ready to have that conversation with the kids.
“Right, yeah, I kinda figured that out after the uh, stuff in Toronto.”
“Jesse went a little overboard with that,” Connor said, because he didn’t wanna think about his son thinking that guys should go around behaving like that, whatever their sexuality.
Nolan snorted. “Right, no. I get that. I was wondering if things would be a little, um, a little different this season, maybe.”
“Because of Tanner and Jesse?”
“Yeah, you know.”
Connor wasn’t sure if he did so he raised an eyebrow and waited for Nolan to continue.
“I mean … like, Evanston and Toronto are all …” Tanner waved vaguely. “And Boston has always been kinda …”
Despite the lack of actual words to help him out, Connor got the drift of what his son was getting at. “I think there will be some changes, sure,” he said. “I have no idea what Tanner’s sexuality is but we’ll look out for any guys who are LGBTQ, you know? It’s my locker room and even though we haven’t had an, uh, openly gay or bi player until now, you know I’ll look out for my guys, right? And Gavin is gay. So there will be support all the way to the top of the organization.”
“Right, yeah.” Nolan shrugged. “I guess I was thinking about how hard it was for Uncle Kelly to come out, you know? And then Mom was a total bitch to him and?—”
“Hey!” Connor said sharply because he might not agree with Viv or the way she’d treated his brother but he wouldn’t stand for Nolan disrespecting his mother that way. “You don’t call your mother that, you hear me?”
“Well she was .”
Connor frowned. “She was wrong to treat Kelly poorly because of his sexuality but that doesn’t give you the right to treat her poorly either.”
Nolan sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I … like, she’s super weird now.”
“Her views have gotten a lot more … intense recently,” Connor agreed. “And I’m sorry you three have ended up in the middle of it.”
He’d had to fight tooth and nail to even take the kids to Kelly’s wedding for fuck’s sake. But he’d tried to never badmouth Viv in the process. It was a weird, uncomfortable line to walk.
“I’m just mad at her, okay?”
“Okay,” Connor said. “You can be mad. But that doesn’t mean I feel okay with you talking about her that way. I wouldn’t tolerate that language from guys on my team and I won’t tolerate it from you either. That word is disrespectful. Whether we agree with people or not, we treat them with respect. Do you hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you.”
Connor stifled a sigh. Whether or not that message got through remained to be seen, but the agreement was something. “Okay,” Connor said. “Good talk. Now, get to bed. Your grandpa will be here early to get you to practice, then off to school.”
“Okay. Night.”
“G’night, Nols,” he said softly. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
With that, Nolan was gone and Connor sank onto the bench near the entryway. Well, fuck. He absolutely hadn’t been prepared for that conversation. And to have it happen so close to the hookup with Jesse left his head reeling.
He was gonna have a hell of a lot to juggle this season, that was for damn sure.
And training camp started in two days.
Connor let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes and praying to Saint Sebastian for strength.
The next morning, Jesse acted like nothing had happened. He was cheerful while he helped Connor make breakfast for the two of them and the girls, then chattered about training stuff on the way to and from HCI for an informal practice.
When it was time to head home, Jesse agreed to go out to lunch with some of the guys on the team.
Connor was a little disappointed. Honestly, he’d been hoping that they could sneak in a quickie while the kids were at school or with his mother, but he could understand Jesse wanting to get to know more of the team.
Tanner was one of the guys going, which sent a twinge of annoyance through Connor, but so were Luke and a handful of other guys. How could Connor protest? And what was he gonna say anyway? He wasn’t about to be that guy.
Last night, after the sex, Connor and Jesse had laid down a few ground rules. Well, mainly Connor had, and Jesse had argued until they reached an agreement they could both live with.
Neither of them would hook up with anyone else until the end of the season, they’d both get tested for STIs, there would be no sex when the kids were in the house, and either of them could end it if it started to impact their playing, the team, or the kids.
Connor was gonna have to trust that Jesse would keep his word.
“You coming to lunch with us?” Luke asked when they left the locker room.
Connor shook his head.
“Meeting with Gavin.” Luke grimaced. “Have fun with that.”
“Thanks.” Connor glanced over at Jesse. “You’ll be fine to get home from lunch on your own?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do a ride share. It’s cool.”
“Excellent,” Luke said, draping an arm over Jesse’s shoulders. “That means you can try some Boston beer.”
“Dude, I’ve had Sam Adams before,” Jesse protested and they were off, arguing about beer and Connor shook his head at how easily Jesse was already meshing with the team. He should have expected this.
“Hey, Webber,” he called out. “Don’t forget, we’re doing supper and a movie with the kids later.”
Jesse shot him a thumbs-up and called out, “I’ll be back by then,” in a cheerful tone and then he was gone.
“So, how’s it going so far?” Gavin asked fifteen minutes later when they were settled in his office with sushi takeout from a nearby seafood place. Honestly, Connor’s favorite things on the menu were lobster mac n cheese and clam chowder and Gavin knew it, but he couldn’t complain since training camp did start tomorrow.
“In general?” Connor asked. “Pretty good. The get-together at my parents’ place went well.”
“Glad to hear it. Any problems with Webber lately?”
“Nope, he’s been on his best behavior,” Connor managed, though all he could think about was Jesse sprawled out on the sheets, covered in a mix of both their cum.
Oh fuck. Connor went a little light-headed. He reached for a spicy tuna and scallop roll and stuffed it in his mouth. Clearly, he was hungry from practice.
Gavin coughed, smothering a laugh. “I find that difficult to believe.”
“Okay, well,” Connor amended. “Since the PR day, he’s actually been pretty compliant. He seems eager to start the season and he’s making friends. Isn’t that what we wanted?”
“No, of course it is.” Gavin snagged some pickled ginger with his chopsticks. “I just wanted to be sure you’re not getting lulled into a false sense of security. I know you have kids, so you know what these things are like but …”
It hit Connor then that Gavin thought of Connor as being a father figure to Jesse. A mentor. And well … Jesse was twenty-four. Only ten years older than Nolan. Which meant Jesse was closer to Nolan’s age than Connor’s. Fuuuck .
Though, thankfully, Connor wasn’t actually old enough to be Jesse’s father. That was one small mercy.
“Right.” Connor cleared his throat. “No, I get what you’re saying. Silence and good behavior is suspicious and all that. But I think Jesse is off to a good start. How long that lasts … well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Though, for what it’s worth, I don’t think the kid has any serious interest in being a troublemaker. I think he … ends up in situations.”
Gavin scoffed, eyeing him skeptically as he helped himself to a piece of salmon nigiri. “I hope you’re right.”
“I can’t promise nothing will go wrong,” Connor said with a shrug. “But I am doing what I can to keep things on an even keel.”
Which was agreeing to hook up with Jesse. Okay, maybe not the usual approach but desperate times called for desperate measures, right?
Softening, Gavin sat back in his chair. “Hey, I know that. And I know I thrust this situation on you rather unexpectedly. I appreciate the way you’ve handled it, to be honest. We’ll reassess as the season progresses but I am glad I can relay your positive report to the ownership group. Now, let’s discuss prospects.”
Connor slumped back in his seat too, relieved to finally be talking about something much, much less complicated than Jesse Webber.
After the late lunch, Connor headed to his parents’ house to collect the girls.
“Where’s Jesse?” Evie demanded.
“Out with some of the team,” he explained, buckling Maura into her booster seat in the SUV.
“I think you’ve been supplanted as a favorite,” his mother said drily. “Evie will not stop talking about Jesse.”
“I think I have too,” Connor agreed with a sigh. And who could blame the kids? Jesse was probably way more fun than he was.
After hugging his mom and thanking her for her help, they headed home. Connor spent the afternoon with the girls, enjoying his time with them while Nolan stayed late to do a school project.
Jesse returned to the house shortly before supper, full of enthusiasm about hanging out with the guys that afternoon, and Connor let out a relieved sigh.
They could do this.
Connor settled several minor squabbles between the girls about pizza toppings and which movie to watch and Nolan returned as the pizza arrived.
As everyone settled onto the sectional and chairs with their plates of pizza and salad, Connor queued up the movie and hit Play .
He froze when he turned back to the sectional and saw that the only open spot was between Jesse and Maura.
Jesse smirked, patting the cushion. “C’mon, get comfy.”
Connor wet his lips and settled into place, trying not to dislodge anyone else’s meal. He could feel Jesse’s body against his, lean and warm and long.
Connor would kill him if he tried to cop a feel with the girls right there.
But while the movie played—something family-friendly that the girls would love but that Connor was probably gonna forget the moment it was over—Jesse remained on his best behavior.
So Connor ate his pizza, slowly relaxing.
Because of training camp and the season starting, he and Jesse had gone for a chicken and roasted veggie pizza with hot honey, the girls had chosen their favorite—pepperoni—and Nolan had asked for his usual, a spicy meat lovers style that he’d probably devour completely in the next few hours.
The Greek salad had been good too and after Connor had polished off his supper, he sighed with contentment.
Jesse did the same. “That was great. Thanks.”
“Thanks for saving the sectional.” Evie had nearly tipped over the container of marinara she was dunking her breadsticks in and it was Jesse’s quick reflexes that had saved the day.
“Shh, we’re watchin’ a movie,” Maura admonished him.
“Sorry, Maura-girl,” Connor said contritely, reaching out to set his plate and Jesse’s on the side table. He settled an arm around his daughter, feeling pleasantly tired and content.
She wiggled to get comfortable and he re-settled the blanket over both their laps. Evie did the same to her blanket, draping it over Jesse and leaning her head against his upper arm.
Jesse exchanged a smile with Connor and Connor sighed again, the tension that had been knotting his shoulders for months finally beginning to loosen.
He’d be exhausted tomorrow but for now, things felt … good. And it had been a long, long time since he’d felt that way.