chapter 44
And then, in the backyard, he saw her. Relief and fear collided as he ran toward her, wrapping her tightly in his arms. “Jaan… you scared me… don’t ever do this again,” he whispered into her hair, holding her as if letting go for even a second could erase her from his life.
Rudra held her tightly, but something was wrong.
She stood there in his arms like a lifeless body, her eyes vacant, her body limp.
No movement. No response.
“Jaan… look at me, please,” he whispered, shaking her gently.
“I’m here… I won’t let anything happen to you.
”
But she remained still, like a shadow of herself, and panic clawed at his chest. Fear, helplessness, and anger surged through him all at once he couldn’t lose her, not now, not ever.
Rudra gently scooped her up in his arms, careful yet desperate, and carried her inside.
He placed her on the bed, settling her down before cupping her face in his hands.
“Jaan… look at me… please, jaan… it’s breaking me apart…
talk to me… just look at me, jaaan…”
Her eyes slowly lifted to meet his, but no words came.
The weight of her pain was too heavy, too raw.
The loss, the fear, the trauma it silenced her completely.
And yet, even in her silence, Rudra felt every ounce of her suffering, a mirror to his own heartache.
Rudra gently kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger as if trying to transfer some of his strength to her.
He laid her carefully in bed, his hands lingering on hers.
“Jaan… stay here. I’ll be back soon, then we’ll go to our mansion,” he whispered, before reluctantly stepping out.
He walked into the doctor’s cabin, his face tense.
“Dr—” he started.
The doctor looked at him calmly, though with sympathy.
“Mr. Rajput, I know this isn’t easy for you…
or for your wife. What she’s gone through has shocked her entire body.
It will take time for her to heal not just physically, but emotionally as well.
All I can say is… have patience. Spend time with her, comfort her, make her feel safe and happy.
I’ll also provide medicines to help with the recovery.
”
Rudra nodded, his jaw clenched, determination burning in his eyes.
He would do whatever it took to bring her back to herself.
After some time, Rudra and Ishni returned to the mansion.
The maids greeted them, but the sight of Ishni in her fragile state made their hearts ache.
“Bring warm soup to our room,” Rudra ordered softly, ignoring everyone else, and carried Ishni inside.
Once they reached their room, he laid her down gently on the bed, his hands lingering on her shoulders as if afraid she might vanish if he let go.
He sat beside her, looking at her pale face, the faint rise and fall of her chest. His heart ached as if someone was stabbing him from the inside.
Every bruise, every scar, every tear she had shed for their lost child pressed on him like a thousand weights.
He leaned close, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, whispering, “Jaan… I’ll fix this… I’ll bring you back… I promise.”
Rudra held her hands gently, intertwining them with his, and rested his forehead against them.
The warmth of their touch was the only anchor in the storm of pain surrounding them.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock at the door.
“Come,” Rudra called. The maid entered quietly, carrying a tray with warm soup, and quickly left after placing it beside the bed.
Rudra adjusted Ishni, making her lean against the headboard, and took a spoonful of the soup.
He blew on it gently to cool it, then brought it close to her lips.
But she didn’t open her mouth. She remained still, eyes distant, trapped in the shadows of her grief.
“Jaan… please…” he whispered softly, his voice a mix of pleading and love. “Just a little… it’ll help you…”
“Jaan… please…” Rudra whispered, gently coaxing her.
Slowly, Ishni parted her lips and took a small sip of the soup.
Relief washed over him, and he continued feeding her carefully, spoon by spoon, taking his time, as if each bite could heal a little of her broken spirit.
Suddenly, a raw, joyful sound filled the room.
The jaguar his loyal companion walked in and leapt onto the bed, nuzzling against Ishni with excitement.
It rubbed its head gently on her stomach,
“Phoenix, Ishni is exhausted. Let her rest,” Rudra said softly, though the authority in his voice remained.
Phoenix looked at him, then at Ishni.
The jaguar lowered its head slightly, as if understanding the weight of the moment.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, it stepped back from the bed.
After one last glance at Ishni, Phoenix turned around and padded out of the room, its movements quiet and respectful, leaving behind a heavy silence filled with grief, love, and unspoken pain.
After Phoenix left the room, Rudra gently laid Ishni down properly on the bed and covered her with the blanket, as if she were made of glass.
He stood there for a moment, watching her still face, his chest tightening with every shallow breath she took.
Then he went to freshen up, changed into his nightwear, and returned quietly.
Slipping under the blanket beside her, he pulled Ishni close against his chest, one arm wrapping around her protectively.
He pressed a soft kiss into her hair, lingering there, as if that small gesture could somehow shield her from the pain she was drowning in.
He held her like that in silence, afraid that if he let go even for a second, she might slip further away from him.
The next morning, Ishni slowly opened her eyes as sunlight fell across her face.
For a second, everything felt unfamiliar.
She turned her head and noticed Rudra’s side of the bed was empty.
“Rudra…” she whispered, but her voice barely existed.
She sat up, her body weak, and stood from the bed.
Her steps were slow as she walked out of the room and down the stairs.
From the kitchen, soft sounds reached her ears.
When she entered, she saw Rudra there standing near the counter, sleeves rolled up, completely unaware that she was watching him.
Rudra felt her arms tighten around him. He smiled softly but didn’t turn immediately, letting her stay there as long as she wanted.
He placed the pan aside and slowly covered her hands with his own.
“Good morning, jaan,” he said again, his voice low and warm.
“You should be resting… not sneaking into the kitchen like this.” He turned slightly and looked at her from the corner of his eye.
“But I won’t complain. Seems like my wife is in a very romantic mood, hmm?
”
Ishni didn’t answer. She only pressed her face against his back, holding him as if he might disappear.
Rudra’s smile faded. He turned fully this time and pulled her into his arms, her head fitting perfectly against his chest. He kissed her hair gently, again and again.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I’m right here.
I’m not going anywhere.”
She clutched his shirt, her fingers trembling just a little.
Rudra held her tighter, one hand resting protectively on her back.
Ishni POV
Since that accident, it felt like my whole world had collapsed right in front of my eyes.
I had lost my unborn baby, a part of me that never even got a chance to breathe in this world.
Yet this man… not once did he leave my side.
Not once did he blame me, not even in silence.
He stayed patient, gentle, steady when I was breaking in ways even I couldn’t understand.
I didn’t know how to respond to so much love, to this softness that wrapped around my pain without asking anything in return.
He had taken the day off. Rudra pulled the chair out for me and made me sit, as if I were made of glass.
He moved slowly, carefully, feeding me bite by bite, whispering comforting words in that low voice of his.
“Dheere… koi jaldi nahi hai,” he murmured, wiping the corner of my lips with his thumb.
I ate, not because I was hungry, but because he was asking me to live, one small moment at a time.
I looked at him his tired eyes, the softness he tried to hide behind that strong face and for the first time since everything happened, my chest ached differently.
Not just with loss, but with gratitude. I was shattered, yes…
but I wasn’t alone. And maybe, just maybe, with him holding me like this, I would learn how to breathe again.
After he made me eat, he gently wiped my lips with a tissue, his touch so careful as if I might break.
He took the plates away and came back with a small bowl of warm oil.
He made me sit near the window, sunlight falling softly on the floor, and started oiling my hair slowly, patiently.
His fingers moved through my hair with so much tenderness that my chest started to ache again not from pain, but from the kind of love that feels too heavy to carry.
He braided my hair neatly, like he used to do when everything was normal, when my world wasn’t shattered.
Then he made me lie down and massaged my feet with warm oil, pressing gently, murmuring soft words I couldn’t fully hear but could feel.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t cry. I just let him take care of me.
The day passed quietly, wrapped in his presence, and for the first time since the accident, the silence didn’t scare me.
By night, he fed me again and helped me lie down properly.
He kissed my forehead softly and whispered, “I’ll be in the study room.
” I looked at him, my eyes following his every movement.
I remembered him saying in the afternoon that he postponed his meetings to the night so I could rest while he worked.
He had stayed with me the entire day, never once showing exhaustion, never once complaining.
As he turned to leave, I realised something painfully clear. I lost my unborn baby… but this man this man was holding me together piece by piece, without asking anything in return.
Hours passed. I tried to sleep, but sleep was nowhere near me.
My eyes were closed, yet my mind refused to rest. The silence of the room felt heavy, louder than any sound.
Slowly, my hand moved to my stomach. The place that once held life…
now held only emptiness. A tear slipped from the corner of my eye, warm and quiet.
I wiped it quickly, as if even crying felt exhausting.
I sat up, took a deep breath, and stood from the bed.
My legs felt weak, but my heart pulled me in only one direction.
Without thinking much, I walked straight to his study room.
I opened the door slowly. Rudra was sitting there, focused on his laptop, a meeting running on the screen.
The moment his eyes met mine, everything stopped.
Before I could stop myself, I walked straight to him and climbed onto his lap, facing him.
My legs wrapped around his waist, my arms around his neck, and I buried my face deep into his chest as if that was the only place left where I could breathe.
“I was not able to sleep…” I whispered, my voice breaking despite my effort to stay calm.
He didn’t ask anything else. He didn’t push me away.
He just smiled faintly, as if my pain was something he already understood without words.
One hand came to my back, the other gently stroking my hair.
He pressed a soft kiss to my head and pulled me closer, holding me like I was made of glass.
“It’s okay, baby,” he murmured against my hair.
“I’m always your personal pillow.”
The warmth of his chest, the steady beat of his heart it slowly calmed the storm inside me.
I stayed there, clinging to him, not because I wanted comfort…
but because I was scared to be alone with my thoughts.
And he let me stay, silently promising, without words, that he wasn’t going anywhere.
Author’s POV
Ishni slowly drifted into sleep in Rudra’s lap, her body finally giving in after hours of silent pain.
Rudra adjusted himself carefully so she wouldn’t be disturbed, one arm securely wrapped around her while his other hand gently caressed her back in slow, soothing strokes.
His laptop remained open, work still ongoing, but his focus never truly left her.
Every few minutes, his eyes softened as he looked down at her peaceful face, as if reassuring himself that she was still there, still breathing, still his.
The night grew deeper, silence filling the room, yet Rudra didn’t move even once.
No discomfort, no fatigue mattered to him more than her rest. He stayed awake the entire night, letting her sleep on his lap, becoming her anchor, her shield, her quiet strength holding her together when her world had fallen apart.