Chapter 3 #2
Minutes of silence passed, and he seemed to be content just looking at me. Then he changed the subject. “Now that I’m a living man, my seed is active. If you want to avoid a pregnancy, you should seek a contraceptive.”
“I’ve already taken care of that.”
He didn’t ask what treatment I sought or when I’d sought it. He didn’t necessarily seem worried about a pregnancy, but he didn’t necessarily seem to want it either. His thoughts on the matter were unclear.
“I want a family, but I just want you for right now.” I lifted my eyes to his again.
He held my stare, his emotions hard to read.
“How do you feel?”
“Whenever it happens, I’ll be ready.”
“Most men aren’t keen on fatherhood, but you seem made for it.”
Something about my words provoked him because the confidence in his stare softened. He blinked, even looked away, as his arms changed positions over his chest.
I waited for him to share his thoughts with me on his own, but he never did.
I decided to let it lie. Let him come to me when he was ready to share whatever he was concealing from me.
“You knew I didn’t abandon you.” His eyes came back to mine, his stare confident once more, but with a hint of emotion. “And that means the world to me.”
“You promised you wouldn’t leave without a goodbye.”
“And it means the world that you would hold me to that. That you knew I didn’t leave because I wanted to.” His eyes softened as he continued his stare. “That you didn’t assume the worst about me.”
“How could I assume the worst when I only know the best?”
He didn’t have anything to say to that because his stare continued.
“When I still had your strength, I took that as a message from beyond the grave. That you were still alive but unable to get to me. At first, I assumed you were busy, but when the weeks passed and you didn’t return…
I knew something had happened to you. Because nothing would stop you from coming back to me. ”
“Nothing,” he said gently. “And you knew that.” He gave several slight nods, as if having a conversation with himself. He swallowed, looked away briefly, and then stared at me again.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
He quickly blinked, like my question provoked him involuntarily. “The Covenant realized I was interfering with the mortal world on your behalf repeatedly—so they stripped me of my powers and promoted Leviathan.”
“How did they figure it out?”
The question prompted him to take a deep breath, a breath that made his entire chest rise. He held it for a beat before his chest deflated once again. “I don’t know.”
My intuition told me there was more to the story than he’d shared with me based on that breath he took, but I trusted him to tell me the truth, so I believed him without doubt. “And then what happened?”
“I asked them to at least let me explain to you what happened, say goodbye, but they wouldn’t allow it. I asked Leviathan to share the events of the mortal world and the battle, but he refused to tell me anything. So I was trapped there, not knowing whether you lived or not.”
“And they didn’t know that you’d gifted your strength to me?”
He shook his head. “They probably tried to remove it, but it remained adhered to you for some reason. I’m not sure if anyone, even the Covenant, can explain that.”
“But you knew I still had it.”
He nodded. “Yes, I could feel it. I kept that information to myself in the hope it would keep you alive, and I’m glad it did. I wish I could have been there with you, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t.”
“It’s okay, Callum. It wasn’t your choice.”
“But it still kills me, even knowing that you prevailed. To know how scared you must have been and to feel abandoned by the man who’d promised to protect you always. You were without your father, and you were also without me.”
“I still won, Callum.”
“But you had to seek aid from someone else, aid you wouldn’t have had to ask for otherwise.” He referred to Viper vaguely, and whatever personal feelings he had about that relationship, he kept hidden from me.
It gave me a surge of guilt that made me sever our locked gazes. “I’m sorry about the Viper situation.”
“You have no reason to be.”
“I know it must bother you.”
“It doesn’t bother me at all.”
My eyes moved back to his, seeing a man so confident in who he was and what he meant to me that he didn’t care. “How can that be?”
“Because if he didn’t love you, you might not be here right now.” He spoke without a hint of emotion, completely pragmatic and logical. “He’s made his disdain for me quite clear, but I understand his prejudice. I remain forever grateful, regardless.”
“If the situations were reversed…” I shook my head. “I’d lose my fucking mind.”
“I don’t think you would.”
“Then you don’t know me very well. I’m temperamental and passionate—”
“And you know how deeply and irrevocably I love you,” he said simply.
“So I know in my heart you would react the way I have. It’s impossible to feel insecure or doubtful in the love that we share.
You took my place in the underworld for us to have a chance to be together, knowing full well what’s down there.
So, no, I don’t care about Viper. He’s welcome to love you from a distance while I love you every night up close. ”
His words stunned me into silence, their depth and maturity showing his age.
“I told you I would never want you to sacrifice your soul, and you did it anyway.” His eyes left my face as he reflected on the horrible time we’d spent apart. If he was angry, he seemed to be trying to bottle it up inside and corking it closed.
“It was the only way.”
He continued to look elsewhere. “You’ll never understand the agony that caused me, seeing your body float beside me to the underworld while I traveled to the light.
Watching your family mourn over your dead body.
Everything worked out in the end, but I was so angry with you. ” His eyes eventually came back to me.
“I hope you don’t expect an apology—because I regret nothing.”
He dropped his arms to his sides and shifted his position in the chair, his stare antagonizing.
“It was the only way.”
“I wasn’t worth it—”
“You parted the seas, bestowed your gifts upon me for nothing in return, and compromised your position and your existence for me. You would burn this world for me—and I would do the same for you.” I would do anything for this man, the man I was destined to be with.
He held my stare in silence, a cacophony of emotion in his gaze from anger, happiness, and raw emotion.
“I would do it again.”
His eyes shifted away. “I’m almost afraid to ask this…and use your discretion on what you choose to reveal.” A pause continued for nearly a minute before he looked at me again. “But what happened…once you arrived?”
I’d awoken when I’d reached the bottom of the funnel, and then a dozen arms had reached for me and pulled me back and forth, fighting over me as their plaything. “The monster tried to take me, but Leviathan decided he wanted me for himself.”
His eyes immediately dropped like that was already too much.
“He tried to take me, but I cut him off at every turn. We were equally matched, so he never got what he wanted.”
His eyes lifted to mine again, a hint of pride in his gaze.
“He made the mistake of putting me in a cell, not realizing that dragon scales are stronger than iron. I had to defile Khazmuda’s scales, unfortunately, but I managed to saw my way free.
I ran to the forest, knowing it would be hard to find me, and the occult you’d shown me were immediately smitten with me.
I told them to lie about my presence if Leviathan or his servants ever searched for me, and they did.
I’m not sure how long I was there because the light and seasons don’t change and I never needed sleep, but it felt like just a few days. Though, it must have been weeks.”
He nodded in understanding.
“He probably has no idea that I escaped.”
“Let’s hope it stays that way for a while.”
“And what will happen once he realizes the truth?” I asked with a bout of sadness.
He hesitated. “Honestly, I don’t know. The deal had already been made.
There was no clause in your deal that forbade you from escaping on your own, so you didn’t violate any rules.
I think he’ll have no choice but to accept what’s come to pass.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll leave us alone. ”
“What can he do to us?” I asked.
He gave a slight shake of his head. “There’s nothing to stop him from visiting either of us. From whispering poison into our ears. You can’t dismiss him, because there’s no deal binding you in place.”
“Well, if that’s the worst of it, I guess that’s not so bad.”
“I came to you uninvited…and changed the course of your life.”
“And I’m forever grateful that you did,” I said without hesitation.
“Regardless of what Leviathan tries next.” I finished my food, the plate clean except for a few spots of sauce.
We’d finished off all the casseroles my mother made, and now we were down to the bare minimum.
We hadn’t set foot outside once in a week.
“How are things between you and my father?” The last time I’d spoken to him, he’d despised Callum with every fiber of his being, and I was sure Callum had to listen to that anger firsthand.
Callum was quiet for a long time as he considered the question. “It’s complicated…”
“That’s better than it being outright bad.”
“We found middle ground in our travels together, but I’m still not the ideal suitor for you. I know he would support however you want to live your life…or whomever you want to spend it with.”
“You aren’t the god of the underworld anymore,” I said. “I’m sure he’ll feel differently toward you in the years to come.”
“And would it bother you if he didn’t—”
“No.”
He stared at me for a while. “I know how close you are with him. I know what his opinion means to you.”
“But his opinion is wrong. He doesn’t know you the way I do.”
His eyes shifted away again, not touched by those words…just disappointed.
“Callum.”
He turned his focus back on me.
“I feel like there’s something you aren’t telling me.”
His stare remained hard and focused, and he gave no reaction to my accusation.
Just let it hang in the air between us, a cloud of smoke we both had to inhale while fighting the urge to cough.
It grew and festered like an infected wound that turned the skin as green as the scales of a snake. “There’s nothing, Xivin.”