Chapter 17 Lily
LILY
I sought Khazmuda’s company for a conversation, but every time I reached my mind out to his, he blocked me. It was something he’d never done before. No dragon had ever done that to me. So I reached my mind to Zehemoth instead. Could you please tell your father I want to speak with him?
He already knows.
And he’s just going to continue to ignore me?
He already suspects what you’ll say.
And how do you feel, Zehemoth? I stood in the courtyard in the night, waiting for his black scales to appear in the darkness. I heard his wings before I saw them, the powerful flapping through the air and then he landed in front of me.
He lowered his snout so our eyes were level with each other. My feelings for you are independent of the situation.
“That’s not what I asked.”
His dark eyes remained on me, staring into my soul. We lost so many of us, nearly half.
“I know.”
We don’t have immortal souls like mortals. We only have this one life—and those dragons sacrificed theirs to win that war. A war that wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for him.
My eyes immediately dropped in hurt. I wished I could change his feelings about the matter, but if Callum weren’t the man that I loved, we would share the same opinion, the same pain. I’d probably be the one to execute him myself.
It’s unforgivable, Sunieth.
My eyes remained down on the stone beneath my feet.
Your father supports you because you’re his hatchling.
He’ll always support your choices. But my father has become the unofficial king of dragons since Constantine’s death, and he takes the transgression emotionally and deeply.
He’s also wounded that your father would stand by your man in this—that they’re not unified in their resolve.
I looked at Zehemoth again. “No. I don’t want them to fight over this.”
There is still love there…but distance.
My arms crossed over my chest as the early fall chill started to creep in.
He’s a dragon killer.
“He didn’t kill a single dragon, Zehemoth.”
Not directly. But indirectly, he wiped out half our kingdom.
The humans will move on because you reproduce at a much quicker rate.
But for dragons, we have few offspring, so every lost dragon counts so much more.
We mourn in the wildlands, dragons sobbing for their lost life mates.
Very few still have their partners. We’re one of the few families where every member survived—and that makes my father feel worse.
I understand you love this man, but we will never feel that same affection.
“Would it help if he apologized?”
It would only make it worse. We prefer him dead but know that’s something Talon will never honor, so we want him exiled from the Southern Isles. We don’t want him to marry into the Rothschild family, because if he does, then our family will sever ties.
“This—this can’t be happening right now.”
I know you love this man—but he’s unworthy of your love.
The argument died in my throat because a battle felt pointless. Khazmuda’s family felt like our family, and it felt like I’d lost them in a single night.
I know how much pain this causes you, Sunieth. I’m sorry for that.
My eyes drifted past him, to the torches in the distance. “I’ll never love anyone the way I love him.”
Perhaps in a single lifetime. But Lily, you will live many lifetimes, maybe even hundreds.
And one day, you’ll meet someone who fits the way your sword fits into your scabbard across your back.
Someone your father will love like a son.
A man whom your dragon family will love like a hatchling. But it is not this man.
I nearly let myself inside in my desperation, but I steadied myself and knocked on the door instead.
Callum answered shirtless, tall and muscular and unbelievably sexy as always.
But I felt nothing.
His eyes read my distress before he silently stepped aside so I could enter the house.
I walked straight to the dining table, my body feeling so heavy when I took a seat.
He wordlessly placed a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. He uncorked the bottle but didn’t pour it. Then he sat in the chair that was pivoted toward me where I sat at the head. Instead of rushing me to tell him what was wrong, he waited for me to be ready.
“I have bad news and worse news, but I’m not sure which is which.”
He sat back in the chair, eyes appearing tired with grief.
“Queen Eldinar arrived a few hours ago. Riviana conveyed a compromise in the portals between the realms. It grows stronger with every passing day.”
His chest rose slowly with the breath he took. Alarm didn’t break out on his expression like it had with me when I’d first heard the news, but he did look defeated. “Their first plan didn’t work…so this is their second.”
“She and my father are trying to form a strategy.”
He didn’t give me that intense expression like he normally did.
The news seemed to chase away all his yearning.
“It takes immense energy for them to do that. It’s to the detriment of everyone, even the Covenant.
They’re using souls to destroy the barrier, but that means they’re depleting everyone in the underworld.
So even if the portal is opened, they’ll be in a weakened state. ”
“Well, that’s good news.”
“But the Covenant in a weakened state is still a superior opponent. Did Riviana say how much time we have until the barrier is broken?”
“Weeks, maybe.”
He gave a slight nod. “And the other news?”
I wasn’t sure which one was worse…until now.
“When my father told Khazmuda of your involvement in the war, he was really upset. The other dragons are also upset. To the point where…” I didn’t look at his face when I spoke again.
“They want to exile you from the kingdom, and they would never accept you as my husband.” I kept my eyes elsewhere because I didn’t have the heart to see his reaction. “They call you…dragon killer.”
Callum was quiet.
When the silence stretched on for minutes, I lifted my gaze and looked at him again.
His eyes were elsewhere, and he wore a look of defeat I’d never seen before. “I understand.”
“I tried talking to Khazmuda, but he refuses to speak to me—”
“It’s okay, Xivin.”
“He and my father aren’t on good terms either.”
“A father’s love always triumphs over all else.
I understand why he’d be able to pardon my crimes to make you happy.
But Khazmuda does not share that love, and as an ancient dragon, he sees love and loyalty very differently.
He’s right to feel the way he does, and I accept those consequences.
” His eyes came back to me. “And I also accept that…I’ll lose you because of it. ”
The broken resignation on his face nearly brought me to tears. “I’ll figure it out.”
“It’s okay, Xivin.” Despite the pain he was in, he seemed to care more about my heartbreak than his own.
“I understand you’re a blended family of humans and dragons.
I understand the bond among all of you is harder than their dragon scales.
It’s pure and beautiful, and I would never want to destroy that. ”
I’d kept my distance from Callum to process my emotions and figure out a way to forgive him. I wasn’t sure how our circumstances would turn out, but I didn’t think we’d end up in a graveyard. “I’ll talk to Khazmuda—”
“Lily.”
I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes.
His hand reached for mine on the table. “It’s okay.”
“No.” The tears started to pour from my eyes like a flash flood. “This isn’t what I wanted.”
“It’s not what I wanted either,” he said gently. “I was destined to meet you, but perhaps I wasn’t destined to stay.”
“We can leave together. We can move to the Northern Kingdoms, maybe Riviana Star—”
“I would never let you forfeit your crown and your family, Xivin. You’re meant to rule the Southern Isles. You’re meant to love your family and be loved in return. It’s the most precious thing in this world.”
“We can make our own family,” I said as the tears continued to fall.
His eyes dropped at my words. “You know how much I want that. But you deserve to have both of your families under the same roof. Talon Rothschild is a good man who deserves to see his grandchildren every day. I would never take his daughter from him. I would never take his grandchildren from him.”
“Then we’ll figure out a way—”
“Dragons don’t forget—and they don’t forgive.” He stared at our joined hands on the table. “You’re lucky to be loved so deeply by fearsome dragons that they would risk their lives to protect you and your father. I’m not worthy of that loss.”
“I—I want both.”
Both of his hands enveloped mine before he rested them against his lips, treasuring my touch like it would be the last time.
There was no hint of tears in his gaze, just an endless look of resignation.
He held my hand there for a long time as he listened to me cry.
When I’d finally let the tears run dry, he gently returned my hand to the table. “Me too.”