Chapter 21 Lily
LILY
I sat on the bench in the courtyard away from my villa, the part of the courtyard that faced Callum’s vineyard. His home was too far away from me to see with the naked eye, but I knew it was there, a dot on the green horizon.
I didn’t know if he was working on his vineyard making wine or if that felt pointless now with the battle about to ensue.
I knew Zehemoth felt my sadness because he flew from the wildlands, over the hills and valleys, and then headed toward me at the top of the cliff.
He came in for a gentle landing beside me then crept close before he lay down on the stone floor, his head and neck fitting between two potted olive trees.
He didn’t ask if I was okay. Didn’t ask what I was doing.
Just seemed to know.
It made me realize how close we’d gotten because we’d reached that level of familiarity where we just knew what the other felt and why they felt that way. His eyes would shift to me to examine my face before he looked at the hills in the distance. “I haven’t opened the bottle of wine he gave me.”
You think it’s bad?
“No,” I said quickly and with a pained laugh. “I just…it’s all I have of him now.”
You have your memories. And as long as you have those, you’ll always have him.
“Memories fade.”
Not if you don’t let them. I still remember you when you were far younger than you are now. And I remember you at every age.
“Because dragons retain memories differently than we do.”
Yes, but also because those moments meant something to me, so I made sure to keep them forever.
“That’s sweet, Zehemoth.”
His eyes looked at me. I love you, Sunieth.
“I love you too.”
We returned to our comfortable silence, my heart still a mound of broken shards in my chest. “I feel like this is all happening because of me.”
His eyes shifted back to me. What is your meaning?
“Leviathan tried to turn me against Callum, and now they’re trying to break the divide between us. I feel like I’m the one they want.”
If that were the case, then why wouldn’t he say this to you directly?
“I don’t know. I wasn’t remotely receptive to him when he visited me,” I said. “I told him to leave, so I dismissed him. Callum made it sound like once you dismiss a god, they can’t come back to you…or something of that nature.”
Zehemoth continued to stare at me.
“If you knew something, would you tell me?”
Of course. But if you still feel unease, why don’t you ask your father?
I continued to stare at the green hillsides far in the distance, but I pictured the castle in my mind. Pictured my father in his uniform in conference with Aunt Eldinar or one of his generals. “Yeah, I think I will.”
The moment I stepped into my father’s study, I could feel his smoldering rage. His shoulders were stiff, and he released a sigh so loud it sounded like the hiss from a snake. It didn’t seem directed at me or anyone else, because no one was there.
I stepped into the room. “Dad?”
He was in his armor, what he wore every time I saw him now, but instead of looking kingly, he just looked pissed off. His stare scorched me, even though I’d done nothing to deserve it.
“Everything okay?”
He didn’t blink as he stared me down, facing off with me like I’d just drawn my sword at him. “I have a lot that requires my attention right now, so if you need something, assuming it’s unrelated to your never-ending saga of boy trouble, make it quick.”
I’d never heard my father speak to me like that…ever. He said painful things in the heat of the moment, but nothing unnecessarily provocative. “Okay… What did I do to piss you off? Because you’re being a fucking asshole.”
He winced slightly like my pushback cut right through him. He worked his jaw for a moment before he cleared his throat. “You didn’t do anything, Lily. Someone else pissed me off.”
“Who?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He took another breath, like he needed to dispel his lungs of the hatred. “What do you need?”
I came closer to the table where he stood. He must have been staring at the map of the Southern Isles again, trying to think of a strategy for the battle we couldn’t really prepare for. “Something’s been on my mind, so I wanted to ask you directly.”
“I’m listening.”
“You said the underworld is coming for us because they feel cheated. Well, what if they’re coming for me?”
He continued to stare at me like he expected me to say more, and when I didn’t, he responded. “Why would they be coming just for you, Lily?”
“Well, Leviathan did come to me.”
“We’ll never know what his motives were, but it seemed like he was trying to hurt Callum instead of you.”
“Maybe. But I was the one who escaped, and I just wonder if it’s me that they want.”
The only change in his expression was the slight increase in anger that started to simmer.
“Is there something you know that I don’t—”
“No.”
“Did Leviathan say anything to Queen Eldinar or Riviana—”
“No. The portal is being compromised as we speak because they seek dominion over the mortal world. That’s it, Lily.
It doesn’t have anything to do with you, specifically.
And even if it did, what difference would that make?
” He started to get angry again, his voice rising and his tongue turning lethal like he was having a really, really bad day.
“Well, I could return to the dead island, if that’s what they wanted. If that’s what would stop this imminent attack from breaching the barrier between us.”
He somehow became even angrier, his entire presence like the flames that burned in Khazmuda’s belly.
Fire started to rain down on us and everything else in the room, setting the world ablaze.
His nostrils even flared, as if my words provoked him right at his core.
“Well, then it’s a good thing you aren’t what they seek. ”
Zehemoth landed on the grass next to the barn. I don’t know why you think he’ll give you a different answer.
I climbed down the straps of his saddle then hopped to the ground.
And even if he does, you can’t trust his word.
“I trust him as much as I trust you, Zehemoth.”
But your father wouldn’t lie to you.
“Well, the man I saw an hour ago wasn’t my father. No idea who that was.” The barn door was closed, and the vineyards looked empty. The horses grazed in the pasture on bales of hay.
I headed to the front door, knocked at a quick pace, and waited for him to answer, my pulse twitching in my throat. I could feel it pound in my ears too, like war drums growing louder and louder from across the sea.
Callum opened the door, fully clothed like he’d recently been outside.
He greeted me with a wordless stare, always having a full conversation with me just in looks alone.
The last time we’d interacted days ago, he’d abruptly walked off without explanation, but he still stared at me like I was the woman in his heart.
“I need to ask you something.” I let myself inside his house, walking past him and inadvertently brushing against his arm, his skin as warm as a hot stone sitting in the sun. It brought back the heat of summer, the heat of the island that belonged to only us.
After a pause, he shut the door then turned to face me, a mountain looming over me with its shadow. He wore a stare so focused it seemed like he was afraid he would miss what I said next.
“I asked my father if the Covenant is coming for me, and he said no.”
His expression remained unchanged, his eyes glued to mine.
“I’m not sure if I believe him.”
“Did you tell him that?”
“No. He was angry about something, I’m not sure what.
I could tell I would get nothing productive accomplished.
” I crossed my arms over my chest and lifted my eyes to meet his.
Despite my height, he was still a mountain I had to strain to see the full height of.
“But I know you wouldn’t lie to me, so I thought I would ask you. ”
He held on to my gaze with his hard stare, his thoughts and emotions hidden deep beneath the surface.
He didn’t seem perturbed by the question or relieved by it either.
It was as if he hadn’t heard me at all. “Leviathan told your father that they would abandon their attempt to break through the portal if you returned to them. You can imagine what your father said in response.”
My father had lied straight to my face, and he was pissed off while he did it. “You knew, and you didn’t tell me.”
Callum wore a similar look to my father, like he couldn’t care less. “He asked me not to.”
“Everyone I know in the mortal world is at risk, including you, and you kept it to yourself because he asked you not to?”
There was no hint of apology in his gaze. “You know you’re all I care about. I betrayed the Covenant to serve you. Forfeited my powers and nearly forfeited my right to exist for you.”
“Well, everyone else I care about might die. The world as I know it might die.”
The indifference on his face was profound, both his lack of remorse and his lack of interest.
“Why don’t you care about that?”
His eyes shifted away before he spoke. “I have no desire to live without you, so it doesn’t affect me all that much.” After several heartbeats, he shifted his gaze back to me. His eyes were empty vessels, bottomless pits that fell into the darkness forever.
“Callum…”
His eyes shifted away again, cutting off the emotional connection between us.
He’d built a concrete wall between us, not wanting to feel anything when there was no hope for us.
It was the most distant he’d ever been. It was the first time he’d withdrawn, when I’d been the one to pull away in the past.
“If they cross into our realm and are victorious, life will never be the same. Even those who have passed into the Realm of Caelum will be vulnerable to extinction. I’m not worth that risk. No one is.”
“You have two men in your life who disagree.” His eyes came back to me.