Chapter 28 Callum #2
He nodded before he turned around and followed his brother, making a short run to catch up to his side.
I rose to my feet and watched them go, two boys on their journey to manhood.
Riviana came to me and grabbed me by the arm.
The last thing I saw before she pulled me away was the two of them walking off together…as brothers.
After the world became a blur, we stopped once again.
We weren’t back in the Southern Isles or outside the small house I built with my own hands. Now we stood in the village in daylight, people coming and going through the market.
I turned to Riviana beside me, my eyebrows raised in confusion.
“Let’s try that again.” She moved to a pub then stepped aside so I could open the door for both of us. I entered, my eyes immediately adjusting to the darkness of the empty pub.
Riviana followed me then came to my side, staring across the room to the only occupied table.
Darius.
He sat alone with a tankard in front of him, arms crossed as he slouched in the chair like he’d just completed a long day’s work. He was clearly a man now, tall and muscular with a dark shadow around his jawline.
He looked so much like me.
“Darius is twenty-four years old now, just a few years younger than Lily. He moved to the village to be an apprentice as a carpenter. He’s in a relationship with the woman who will be his wife in the next year.”
I’d witnessed his life and knew all the details, so it wasn’t groundbreaking to me. But it helped me understand his current circumstances in life.
“Perhaps now you’ll have better luck with him.”
“I still want to see Tiberius.”
“He’ll be here in a few minutes.” She disappeared on the spot.
I stared across the room at my son again, his ankle crossed under the table, a basket of peanuts in front of him.
I crossed the room and approached him.
He didn’t look at me.
When I approached the table, he slowly turned to look at me, clearly not in the mood to talk. But then his eyes took in my features with a distinct reaction. His breaths increased and his face paled.
I pulled out the chair across from him and sat down.
He didn’t move, eyes still wide as he continued to breathe.
It’d been a little over ten years since he’d seen me, and he clearly hadn’t forgotten that interaction.
We were not quite ten years apart in age, biologically. Almost looked like brothers. “Hello, Darius.”
He finally snapped out of his surprise and straightened in the chair, his arms remaining crossed over his chest.
“How are you?”
“I don’t know. Are you a ghost or not?”
“Not right now.”
“Are you a ghost at other times?”
“Only when you can’t see me.”
“What does that mean?” His voice was so much deeper now, reaching a baritone similar to mine.
I hated to see my son distrust me so much, but I couldn’t blame him either. If I wanted to be in his life, then why wouldn’t I just come back? What in the mortal world would stop me? “Now that you’re older, I think you’re ready to hear the story.”
He continued to watch me with distrustful eyes.
I told him the tale, the deal I’d made with Bahamut to spare his mother’s life and the fact that my abandonment was the price.
I served as god of the underworld and was recently freed from my imprisonment.
My relationship with Riviana had allowed me to go back in time and explain all of this to him now.
It was a lengthy story, and he listened without interruption.
“I speak only the truth to you, Darius. And I do so in the hope that you understand how deeply I did not want to leave you.”
He needed several minutes to process this. “You’ve watched our lives as the god of the underworld?”
“Yes.”
“My whole life?”
“Yes.”
“So you know exactly what happens to me in the future.”
“I do.”
He stared at me but didn’t ask for enlightenment. “What did Mom get me for my eighteenth birthday?”
I had been there, watching them gathered around the table with the homemade cake Anya had made. “She gave you a golden compass that cost her a lot of money.”
He took in a slow breath.
“My brother got you a new tool set for your apprenticeship. And Tiberius got you a rock.”
He sucked in another breath.
“As a joke, of course. After dinner, he showed you the bow and arrow he’d made himself, his real gift to you.”
His eyes flicked back and forth between mine quickly, clearly beside himself.
“I know you had your first kiss when you were fifteen, with Kanth’s daughter up the road.
I know you and Tiberius had a big fight right before you moved out because he was constantly picking fights with you, but in truth, he was just upset that you were leaving.
I can go over all the details of your life that I witnessed from the corner…
crying. Crying that I missed it in the flesh, devastated to think you thought I didn’t want to be there.
I always knew I wanted to be a father, and I was so lucky that your mother gave me you two boys.
Raising you is still the highlight of my life. I just wish it hadn’t been so brief.”
Darius clearly believed me now because his eyes filled with a thin layer of moisture.
It was the first time I’d felt connected to him since he was eight years old.
“I love you so much, son.” I gave a slight shake of my head. “I’ve lived four hundred years, and I still carry you in my heart every single day. Still think of you even though, in my time, you’ve been gone for hundreds of years. It still kills me that this time was taken from us.”
His eyes continued to water. “Where…where are you now?”
“In the future, four hundred years. I live in a place very far away from here.”
“What’s it like there?”
“Warm. Beautiful. Near the sea.”
“And…do you have anyone?”
After a long stare, I gave a nod. “I’m married. Her name is Lily.”
There wasn’t a flash of betrayal across his eyes, probably because he viewed his mother’s actions differently now.
“It hurt when your mother believed my lie so easily, that I would be capable of such depravity. But I’ve forgiven her, and I don’t want you to think poorly of her, Darius. She’s a good woman and a good mother to you both.”
“Do you have other kids?”
“No. Not yet.”
“Is that something you want?”
My eyes drifted away as my son asked me some tough questions. “I would like a second chance to be a father since I didn’t get the full experience with you and Tiberius. But I will never love them more than you…only equally.”
He blinked to wipe away the tears then stared at the table for a while, soaking all this in.
“You’ll always be my boys.”
“Does she know about us?”
I felt the smile automatically enter my lips even though my eyes were still wet. “Of course. She’ll never know you or see your faces, but I know she already loves you.”
His eyes lifted to look at me. “I’m sorry you’ve suffered so much, Dad.”
I inhaled an involuntary breath when I heard that name…Dad.
“You were a good dad. Still are.”
I bowed my head as the tears overwhelmed my lids and dripped down my cheeks.
I focused on the grains in the mahogany to calm myself so I wouldn’t sob in front of my eldest. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to know…
that I didn’t want to leave you, and I love you so much.
” I raised my chin to look at him again.
With wet eyes, he met my look. “I believe you, Dad.”
I closed my eyes to stop the sobs before they started, feeling the invisible weight I’d carried for an eternity suddenly leave my shoulders. All the guilt dissipated. I felt like I’d reclaimed my name and my honor. My hand automatically reached up to wipe the tears away.
“You should share this with Tiberius too.”
“I will.”
Riviana appeared beside our table, silently telling me it was time to go.
“I’m sorry, Darius, but it’s time for me to leave.”
He rose from the chair to his full height, a strong, handsome man.
I rose from my chair too, pleased to see that we were the same height, that he was the spitting image of me.
“Will I see you again?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “But if you don’t, just know I’m with you. On your wedding day. The birth of your children. Every birthday you ever have…I’m there with you.”
He nodded in agreement then he moved into me…and hugged me.
I locked my arms around his body and squeezed him to me, the sob breaking through and making rivers of tears cascade down my cheeks.
I gripped him hard and cupped the back of his neck, savoring the only moment I would ever have to hug my adult son, to give him enough love in a single moment to last the rest of his life.
“I’m so proud of the man you’ve become, Darius. ”
“I love you, Dad.”
I squeezed him a little tighter and closed my eyes. “I love you, son.”
The world became a blur once more, and once the world stopped spinning, we appeared before the Great Tree in Riviana Star. It was evening, fireflies floating overhead.
I looked around before I turned to her, tears still wet on my cheeks. “When are we now?”
“The present.” She looked at the doorway in the tree. “I wanted to offer you one last moment.”
I stared at the tree and slowly began to understand.
“You’ll fuse with a dragon and may live for all eternity, Callum. You may never see them on the other side. If you’d like to take an opportunity to say goodbye, this is it. They both passed as old men, surrounded by their families, so they’ll look much different to you.”
I stared at the door as my heart raced in my chest. “I—I don’t want to think about a reality where they aren’t here anymore.”
“You’re already living in that reality, Callum. You’ve been living in that reality for a long time.”
“It’s still hard to face…as a father.”
“Know that they’re happy. That they only feel the golden light that warms their souls. That this would be a happy reunion, not a sad one.” She turned to look at me again. “You’re under no obligation, but I will not offer this to you again in the future.”
I inhaled a slow breath as I continued to stare at the tree.
“The decision is yours.”
I finally nodded.