Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
TUONEN
“Sarvi,” I whisper. “Sarvi, can you hear me?”
Just like every time I’ve asked before, which is maybe twice, or maybe a couple of hundred times, for I have no idea how long I’ve been in this dungeon, there’s no response. In the distance, something drips, a steady beat that has been driving me slowly insane. Someone—or something—cries out in pain from another cell. Bone mice squeak and scurry in the shadows, occasionally venturing into the light of the candles, whose wax drips into small white mountains on the stone floor.
The only reason I know Sarvi is even alive is because I can hear the unicorn’s labored breathing and the occasional rustling, as if Sarvi is adjusting. It’s a very specific sound of hooves against rock and sounds like it’s coming from the next cell over from mine. It hadn’t been clear where Sarvi went after their horn was sawed off, but it would make sense for Louhi to jail the unicorn as well.
More than that, I feel it in my marrow, the energy and presence of a soul that has been by my father’s confidant since the day I was born. Sarvi is not dead, but I fear for their life anyway. I’m not sure how much life essence is in the unicorn’s horn, but to see them crumble like I did, Oblivion could be lurking around the corner. Sarvi would become one more good soul lost to the eternal void.
I reach up and gingerly touch my own horns. The ends where my mother sliced them off still throb with pain. Even worse, I can’t make the horns disappear back inside my skull. They’re permanently out now, cumbersome to wield when there’s no relief on my neck and shoulders. One would think that being a God, even a lesser God of Death, would mean not dealing with mortal-like pain, but I fear that my mother did more than just gain magic from the ends of my horns. I fear she took whatever immortality I had.
I feel weaker than I should, like death—real death—is waiting for me around the corner. Sometimes, I fall asleep, and when I wake up, I swear I’m being watched outside the cell by a wretched beast biding its time before it kills me. Other times, I can barely move, just lying propped up against the cold stone wall, wondering if it’s even possible to take my last breath.
Sometimes, I nearly ask for that last breath to come.
But it doesn’t. And somewhere deep inside, I have resolve. There’s not a lot, but it’s there. Driven by anger, spite, and humiliation, I let it fuel me, enough to keep breathing, to try and plan my escape.
I want to be able to talk to Sarvi. The unicorn has so much intimate knowledge of Shadow’s End, far more than I do. They would know exactly how to get out of here. Once we’re out of the castle, then perhaps we can find help. There has to be someone left out there that hasn’t fallen under Louhi’s influence.
And Rangaista, I remind myself. Fucking Devil, it makes me feel sick knowing I’m related to him. I don’t know if he’s still in the castle or if he ventured out, but whoever comes across the demon won’t last damn minute.
I sigh and close my eyes, trying to think. Down here, there is no natural light, so I have no idea how many days or nights have passed. I don’t even know what time it is right now. There hasn’t been any food or water, which is affecting my mind and body. Part of me thinks there might be some residual power in me, because if I was completely mortal, I’m not sure I’d even be alive.
But what power have I always had anyway? Thinking back to the before times, my life before I ended up in here, is like slogging through mud. I can barely remember. I know that I have a connection to every soul in Tuonela, helpful when you spend half your days as the ferryman. It’s not as strong as my father’s, but still, it’s there. It’s that connection I’ve tried to use in order to reach Sarvi in my head when talking out loud hasn’t worked.
But perhaps I need to use the connection on someone else, someone who can help. Ideally, it would be a God, someone with the power to actually get us out of here, but I fear if there are any good Gods left, they are too far away for me to reach them.
My best shot is someone in this castle, which means I have to be strategic. If I reach the wrong person, someone under Louhi’s control, then I’ll only alert her to what I’m trying to do. And yet, I can’t think of who could still be on my side. Kalma is officially out. The Deadmaidens will do Louhi’s bidding, especially under the guise of my father.
I stare out through the bars of the cell at the dripping candle wax and try to think, but it feels hopeless, and I keep coming up empty.
Another bone mouse comes teetering out of the shadows, raising its nose into the air, the candlelight gleaming off its black fur and smooth white bones. It looks at me with empty sockets, whiskers moving up and down, one torn ear rotating. Perhaps I could communicate with the mouse, but what good would that do? A mouse can’t save me.
No. A mouse can’t, but another creature could.
Rauta.
My father’s iron dog.
Normally, he’s up in the Library of the Veils, guarding the Book of Runes. Of course, there’s a chance Louhi has already been up there and come across him in her search for all the magic she can muster. If so, she’d have no problem sending him to Oblivion. She always hated that dog.
I sigh, succumbing to the certainty of it. I doubt there is much she hasn’t already destroyed.
The bone mouse emits a squeak and sits back on its haunches as it continues to stare at me.
“What?” I whisper to it. “How are you going to help me?”
The mouse gets down on all fours and starts wagging its stringy tail back and forth.
Like a dog.
Are you trying to tell me something? I project silently. Can you hear my thoughts?
The mouse squeaks again and nods.
Is Rauta alive?
The mouse squeaks again, then looks down the corridor and quickly scampers off into the shadows. The sound of heavy boots and rattling chains fills the air, and my body tenses as someone steps into view.
It’s a guard dressed in heavy armor and carrying a sword, his skull visible under a metal helmet. The eye sockets stare at me for a moment before he keeps walking down the corridor. The guards usually patrol past every so often; it will at least grant me some time.
Once the guard is gone and the footsteps have faded, I close my eyes and try to reach Rauta. I picture my father’s library and how when you first enter, the dog is lying there at the base of the Book of Runes. I focus on the smell of the room, the dusty scent of old pages, the rich, earthy loam of the various burning candles, incense, and dried herbs used for spells. I narrow in on Rauta, the dog’s coat made of patches of black fur, bones, and iron welded here and there. Rauta’s eyes glow red in the black metal sockets, an iron tongue hanging out of its mouth.
Rauta , I whisper inside my mind, feeling energy stir up inside me, floating like sediment in water. Rauta, you good boy, can you hear me?
The energy stirs faster, becoming a vortex, and it’s as if I can feel it spreading through the bars, up to the ceiling, and then into the rest of the castle. I keep concentrating, not letting my attention waver.
Then, suddenly, there’s something there, like something is pushing itself through an invisible layer into me. At first, I don’t know what it is, but then I can feel it. It’s like I’m being…licked inside my soul, in a very comforting, yet slightly disturbing way.
Rauta! I exclaim. Good boy! You came.
A low whine sounds from my head, and it’s like the dog has formed itself inside me, iron body, red eyes, and all.
Listen , I go on, feeling the dog’s heavy tail wagging. I need your help. Sarvi and I are trapped in the dungeon, and I need you to free us somehow. But you can’t trust Tuoni or Hanna. Neither of them are who they say they are, but I guess you already sense that, don’t you?
Rauta whines again, agreeing. Of course, dogs would be able to sniff out that Louhi is impersonating my father. Animals can sense hate and are better judges of character than even the Gods.
Please hurry , I add. I don’t think we have much time left. You can come with us as we try to find my father. He’s out there somewhere. Only then can we make things right.
Rauta lets out a loud bark, and then suddenly, the sensation is over, and I feel alone in my body.
I exhale and lean back against the wall, my breath shaking.
Sarvi? I think, trying to do the same to the unicorn, but, as usual, there is no sign.
So, I sit and I wait and I try not to worry, try not to let my mind race.
It’s unavoidable, though. What if Rauta doesn’t make it? What if he can’t help? He’s just a dog, after all. What if he’s caught? What if we’re caught? What if I’m the cause of his death?
Or worse?
When my mother threw me in this cell, she never explained what she had planned for me, just a vague threat about meeting my grandfather—Rangaista—some other day, but neither of them have come by. No doubt I’ve been forgotten, and that might be for the best.
If I were a betting God, one who bet on anything other than bone matches, I’d say my mother means to leave me here until she has taken over the entire realm and destroyed everyone who opposes her. Then, she’ll come back and give me an ultimatum—join her or else.
I just don’t know what that else would be. Would she sentence me to die? Actually end my life and send me to Oblivion? Could she do that to her own flesh and blood? Or would she keep me locked up here forever as a prisoner of war for never bowing to her or recognizing her as a queen?
I will never recognize her as a queen.
Only as a monster.
I sit there for a good while, my ears attuned to the slightest noise. I still feel nothing from Sarvi. Even the bone mouse seems to have stopped scurrying to and fro, as if it already served its purpose. In the distance, water drips, lulling me off into a daze.
Then, I hear a soft padding sound approaching from the right, as if something is coming down the stairs. I immediately go tense, not knowing what it is. Rauta’s paws are metal, aren’t they? They would make a distinct noise.
A shadow appears on the stone floor, looming closer and closer as it comes down the corridor toward my cell.
Rangaista.