Goddess Shifting (Shifter Lords #8)

Chapter 1

Chapter

One

Iwas a puddle of bruises and regret. Barrett, my father, and Rowan stood over me, each wearing a different expression, ranging from guilt to regret to annoyance.

“You have to learn these things,” Barrett said. He was the one who wore the guilty expression. “It’s regrettable you had no Chimera there to show you the ropes when you came out of the initial fog. The things I’m showing you now are taught to our children.”

Rowan’s attention snapped to the man. “Careful,” he warned.

The Lord was aware of Finn’s obsession with me and what had happened to me in that field and afterward. I’d told him everything a week ago, even the parts that still shook me out of a deep sleep in a cold sweat during the wee hours of the morning.

Rowan had not been the same since. If Finn were still alive…

Well. The Chimera responsible for all of this wouldn’t have been alive for very long, that’s for sure.

Barrett was lucky he was allowed within a hundred yards of me, but I’d convinced Rowan that I needed the male’s help, and the Lord had always been reasonable, at least when it came to me.

As Chimeras went, I was stunted, unable to do much of anything one of our kind should be able to do, except shift.

I once saw Finn pause time, turning himself into a whirlwind on the battlefield.

Not all Chimeras could do the same things.

Like the Lords, we each had a special gift that would eventually manifest within us, sometimes with devastating effect.

Mine had yet to be uncovered. For now, I could shift into anything, which was a handy gift to have, but I was pretty limited on other abilities.

Rowan bent and reached a hand out. I clasped it, reveling in the feel of his calloused palm against mine, and allowed him to help me up. Things between us were good, but the bond between us strained for release.

I was the only thing standing in the way.

He was my mate, according to Rowan, shifter biology and lore, and the constant tug toward him and the warmth in my chest when he was near. I was born of gods but mostly raised by humans, and there were no mates, only those we chose to spend our lives with.

So far, I’d chosen poorly twice. Not a great track record there.

My first husband was an unrepentant philanderer. Caelan was driven by duty and power, and I’d surpassed his threshold for acceptability in a partner and became a threat. Add Lugh’s terrible magic and toss in an ex-lover, and Caelan tore everything down and burned it to cinders.

Rowan started as a friend and stayed a steady one, all the way up until I revealed my Chimera heritage and had to leave town. Then he became not only my friend, but something more. Something I was still figuring out.

Barrett scratched his chin and looked at my dad. “There has never been a fae Chimera before,” he mused. “Maybe the inherent Chimera magic works differently when mixed with fae blood.”

Dad tilted his head. He studied me and slowly nodded. “Good theory. We can test it tomorrow. Evie is exhausted and needs to rest.”

Exhausted wasn’t quite the right word. Two weeks had passed since Tess announced Caelan was marked for death.

He’d shut my offer of help down as fast as I’d extended a hand and had cut off all contact with the other Lords about the matter.

He only responded to routine communications or items dealing with other Lord duties, but he didn’t respond to Rowan at all.

I refused to let Caelan die because he was a stubborn ass. As soon as we returned to Rowan’s territory, I’d contacted Dad and Barrett and asked them to step up all my training. They’d happily obliged, and a few days later, they showed up and had been kicking my ass ever since.

“Tomorrow?” I asked.

Dad shook his head. “No. Rest and catch up on your duties. We’ll reconvene on Wednesday.”

My duties consisted of the grand opening of Little Shop of Florals and maintaining Rowan’s land to ensure the spell still creeping across the landscape never gained a foothold here.

I’d shoved it out once, but the damned thing was persistent.

Next week, I’d be on Thorvin’s land, purging his territory, and the week after, Ethan’s.

Ben and Soren had not answered our request yet. Ben was as hardheaded as Caelan was, so he could go either way, but I was surprised about Soren. He had the strongest streak of self-preservation. Maybe he was waiting to see what happened in Thorvin’s territory before he agreed to allow my help.

“Alright.” I shook Barrett’s hand and watched the Chimera walk back to his vehicle. Simone and Garrett followed a short distance behind to ensure he left.

Hope and Declan were somewhere close, keeping a watchful eye on things, but I couldn’t pinpoint their exact location.

Dad started to shimmer away, but I held a hand out to stop him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Rowan stepped away. “I’ll be in the main house seeing to lunch. Find me when you’re finished?”

I nodded. Rowan dipped his head to my father and walked away.

Hiding a smile, I studied the former fae king. Rowan had never been as respectful to him as Caelan was, and it rankled my father. For whatever reason, though, I suspected he liked Rowan far more than the other Lord.

I couldn’t help myself. “Unused to the lack of bowing and scraping?”

To my surprise, Dad laughed. “That male is not even a little bit frightened of me.”

“Should he be?” I curled my fingers around Dad’s elbow and tugged him toward the forested area. A soft shuffle of branches told me either Hope or Declan was close by.

“Allow me my privacy,” I called.

The shuffling stopped, followed by a huff of annoyance.

Dad snorted. “Lots of ninja spies around this place.”

I rolled my eyes. “Four of them, to be exact. Overbearing but sweet.”

Another snort from the trees before the sound of someone dropping from a high distance thumped some distance ahead.

“We’re alone,” Dad said after a moment. “Or at least free of shifter eyes and ears.”

I let out a slow breath and let my shoulders relax.

“Very little privacy can grate on beings like us,” Dad guessed.

“They’re worried about Caelan and this damn spell. No matter that there’s no trace of it here.”

“Would it be better if they were nonchalant?”

I shot him a dark look. “You know the answer to that.”

“Shifters are nosy creatures by nature,” Dad said with a smile.

“Even if all this wasn’t going on, you’re the fae queen and a Chimera, two things they’ve never experienced before.

On top of that, their Lord is very territorial toward you, and there is an unfinished mating bond.

Those two things send a shifter’s protective nature into overdrive. ”

I’d been wanting to ask him a question for a long time and tried to figure out a way to ask without being so blunt, but there was no soft way to go about this. “Do fae have mating bonds?”

Dad stopped walking, jerking me to a stop with him. His eyes went all swirly. “Why?”

I blinked. “Um. Because I’m curious. If I’m sort of a shifter but also fae, does one bond supersede the other?

If a mating bond exists for shifters, but both of those shifters have fae blood, is it possible for one bond to exist but for them not to be fae mates as well?

” I pressed the space between my brows. “It’s all very confusing. ”

Dad exhaled a heavy breath and gave me an exasperated look. “You think too much,” he muttered.

“Don’t I know it. Why are you being squirrelly about it?”

“You don’t have one with Rowan?” His eyes were still swirling.

“Not that I know of.”

“You would know.” Dad shook his head. “I’ve seen it knock grown men to their knees.”

“The answer is yes, then?”

He sighed and tugged me down to the grass. “We do have them, but they are exceedingly rare. No bond is something to take lightly, but a fae bond is…more.” My father’s face grew inordinately sad. “If you decide not to accept the young Lord’s heart, you can still walk away from this.”

Rowan had said as much. Eventually, I’d have to make a decision.

Drawing this out was painful for both of us, but if I let it go on too long, it would turn cruel.

Rowan deserved someone to love him with their entire being.

I was too damaged to see beyond a few days from now, and with Caelan’s life on the line, I found it difficult to focus on much else except fixing that problem.

“If a fae mating bond forms and is offered and accepted, you will not so easily escape that magic. Your power will be forever linked together, and if one of you dies, the other will never be the same. With Rowan, even if you accept the bond, there are things that can shatter the magic. Not so much with our people.”

“Is there a possibility of two bonds?” I mused.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing. But…” he rubbed his hand over his face, “there has never been a fae and Chimera hybrid. I assume the bond would combine into something we’ve never seen before.” He studied me for a long moment. “Is there a reason you’re asking?”

I shrugged. “Curiosity mostly.” A true statement, but also not the entire truth.

I’d been feeling things lately. Odd things.

Things that made me want to latch onto Rowan like an alien Facehugger and hold on for dear life.

My magic felt hungry, and I was getting a little itchy in the britches for more than friendship.

It was making me twitchy, and Rowan knew something was up because of his excellent senses and because he was not an idiot.

Was it the shifter bond, or was something else happening, something more fae than animalistic?

“I like knowing the odds of things,” I continued, “but I wondered if the shifters have them, why wouldn’t the fae? Or at least something similar.”

Dad chuckled. “They do exist, but our people can be inherently selfish. They are also tied to their lands, and only the most power hungry explore beyond their boundaries for any long period of time. If you rarely leave your home, the odds of finding a mate are substantially reduced.”

“You and Mom weren’t mates?”

Dad’s eyes flickered with grief before he shook his head. “The female is the one who initiates the bond. She is always the first to feel the power rising, and she is the one who accepts or denies the chosen person.”

“Will the male feel the bond too?”

“The possibility of one, yes. The tug would be quite powerful, but someone like Rowan, who knows that you’ve already been chosen, might confuse it for the shifter bond.

That too holds powerful magic,” Dad acknowledged, “but he holds no power over the other. In this, the woman ‘wears the pants,’ as the humans like to say. It’s very possible there are more bonds refused than accepted, simply because the female does not want a partner.

Fae women can be choosy when it comes to melding their lives with another. ”

“Like Mom?”

Dad laughed, but the sound held a twinge of sadness. “Yes. I failed your mother in many ways. She has never been a forgiving woman with errors of the heart, but when it came to you, one strike and I was out.”

My heart ached for them, but it warmed me to know how fiercely Mom had protected me, even if I wished she made different choices. I patted Dad’s knee. “I’m sorry. Maybe once things calm down, she’ll see I can take care of myself and warm up to you.”

Dad snorted. “Your mother has another in mind. I am a page in her history she is fond of but never plans to revisit.”

I wasn’t touching that one with a ten-foot pole or any pole, even if it belonged to someone else. Neit had been after Mom for a while now, and as far as I knew, those two were still involved in a merry chase. I liked the god. He was fun to tease and easy on the eyes. But calling him Dad?

Too far.

“If there are so few bonds, how does marriage work in the fae lands?”

Dad rose and helped me up. “Same as a normal marriage, I assume. Choosing a partner is difficult, no matter what or who you are. We’re all fumbling around through life the same way everyone else is on many things. The lack of a bond does not preclude someone from living their life to the fullest.”

I frowned. “What happens if they find their mate during their marriage?”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing. Maybe the bond goes dormant when they sense a partnership like a marriage.

Such a thing is no mating bond, but it’s a bond all the same.

” He put my hand around his arm. “Come. The young Lord is preparing lunch, and I can hear your stomach growling. I’ll walk you to the Keep and return on Wednesday. ”

I leaned my head on his shoulder for a moment. “Thanks, Dad.”

Cernunnos let out a soft sigh and started walking.

The ancient grump loved it when I called him Dad.