Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
He knew. Godsdammit. He knew I wanted to throw him down and do terrible things to his person, and the bastard was teasing me about it.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the window display I was putting together, but I was hard-pressed to think about anything but the feel of his lips against my neck.
What was wrong with me? I’d consummated my relationship with Caelan when I was so drunk on power, I probably would have humped a tree stump if it gave me a come-hither look.
But Rowan had done absolutely nothing but exist. He’d been careful with me and never initiated anything too intimate, his touch enough to keep me balanced.
Rowan understood touch starvation far better than Caelan had.
When Caelan touched me, it was about desire. When Rowan touched me…
I swallowed hard. When he touched me, I felt like no matter what happened, I’d find safety with him.
Why shouldn’t you jump his bones? came that dark little voice inside my head that usually only came out in the deep dark night. But today it was early. Way too early. And that was a problem.
I’d taken dinner in my room tonight, refusing Rowan’s invite to eat together for fear I’d jump on him like a ravenous beast.
“Get it together,” I muttered. I was not a teenage boy for crying out loud. I was a full-grown woman in total control of her emotions. Acting like an ovulating madwoman was a fast way to send everything on its ear.
Plus, there was a consequence to us moving farther than touching, and Rowan had warned me about it after our meeting with the Lords. If we consummated our relationship, there was a very good chance the mating bond would finalize. We would be linked forever.
I wasn’t totally against the possibility, but I wasn’t all for it either. Not long ago, I’d promised myself to Caelan, and this felt like a betrayal. Even if he had treated me with cruelty toward the end.
But this…whatever this was, I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out against it. I needed a distraction. I thought going to the shop might work, but I’d spent most of my time daydreaming about Rowan’s hazel eyes and clever fingers.
“Aaaargh,” I groaned, tossing a handful of rose petals up in the air.
A key sounded in the door. Seconds later, a dark head poked around the corner. “This town is as nosy as Joy Springs.” Moira grinned and locked the door behind her.
After tossing her purse down, she came over and brought me in for a tight hug. Her cool cheek pressed against mine. “Maybe nosier,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Everyone is very interested in Rowan’s little Floromancer.”
I sighed and slumped onto one of the new chairs.
Dad had transported every single thing from the old shop to the new one, but there were certain pieces I couldn’t look at without seeing Caelan.
The chairs and couch were the first to go, donated to one of Rowan’s shifter’s young daughters who’d just gotten her first apartment.
Moira and I went to an artisan furniture store and found our new ones within seconds of walking in.
The artist, loyal to the bone to Rowan, had all but tried to give them to me, but I insisted on paying.
However, the woodworker refused to take full price, even when I tried to argue about it.
I ended up paying a fraction of what they were worth, and the guilt remained.
Now, once a week, I put together a fragrant and gorgeous flower arrangement and delivered it to his shop. He tried to return the first one, but when I let a sliver of the Chimera out, he laughed and acknowledged he was beaten.
I figured we’d be square in about twelve months.
To Rowan’s consternation, I bought the couch online because I couldn’t afford to give away another year’s worth of flowers.
We were alone in the shop. Tess and Ash were out apartment hunting, though neither was in a hurry to move from Rowan’s Keep. Ash was happy as a clam, and Tess had made another banshee friend none of us had seen yet.
Rowan had already said they could stay permanently if they wanted to, but both of them felt guilty about it.
I planned to talk to them soon, but I knew how they felt.
Rowan’s cottage was amazing, but it was a little small for my plant collection.
Eventually, I knew I’d start itching for a bigger space and a spot of land of my own.
Moira made herself a cup of tea and brought me a steaming mug of coffee. She kicked off her boots and curled her feet under her, watching me with those wise dark eyes.
“How are you?”
“Better, but still a remedial student.”
Moira snickered. “No luck being a badass, all-powerful Chimera?”
“Hardly. According to Barrett, I have ‘adequate’ shifting abilities.”
Moira cracked a laugh. “What an ass.”
“But the rest of my abilities are non-existent. They think it might have to do with my fae blood.”
“Good theory,” Moira mused. “Allowing your powers to merge is how you learned to control the Chimera in the first place, right?”
I nodded. “Yes, but now I have no idea what to do. Unfortunately, wiggling my nose or snapping my fingers just makes me look stupid.”
She sipped her tea. “You’ll get it. You always do.” Moira’s eyes glittered. “Now tell me about Rowan.”
If I had something to throw at her, I’d throw it. “What about him?”
Moira grinned. “You like him. A lot. I can tell.”
“Yes, but I’m not ready for anything more. Caelan…” I trailed off.
“Fucked you up,” Moira said unrepentantly. “Big time.” She lifted a slender shoulder in a shrug. “Understandable. But honestly, Evie, he’s always been a growling dick.”
I blinked at my friend.
She cackled at my expression. “He has, and you know it! Caelan was always pushing you to the brink, encouraging you to do things you weren’t sure about.
Getting out of your comfort zone isn’t always a bad thing if it helps you grow.
But Caelan violated your boundaries and pushed you beyond what you were ready for.
Even so, he pushed you to be something you were not. ”
I was speechless. Moira plowed on, her pale hands wrapped around her botanical tea mug. “Then,” she added, “he got super pissed off when you surpassed him.”
At my furrowed brow, she held up a hand. “Not finished.”
I clamped my lips shut.
“At first, he was all, ‘Whoa, look at my badass girl. She’s the best!’ And then you did your whole thing against the tree. Super hot, by the way, and the flowers in that spot grow all four seasons, no matter the weather. Well done, Evie.”
Crimson heat touched my cheeks.
“Even after the tree, he was cool Caelan, but I saw his face that night.” Moira leaned forward, a serious expression on her face.
“I saw the way he looked when you came out of the tree and burned that fucker to the ground. There was a moment when your back was turned, and you raised your hands and destroyed the thing that had tried to destroy you, and Caelan’s expression was terrified.
He knew right then that you were the more powerful one, even if he tried to hide it and work through it.
Even after knowing you, knowing you would be loyal to him and his people forever, he couldn’t deal with it.
And that was when he started making you feel like shit about things.
Tiny things, a word here and there, an odd look.
” Moira gave a sharp shake of her head. “And I knew I was hearing the death knell.”
Tears swam in my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak and found I couldn’t form any words.
Moira’s smile was sad. “I’m glad you found your way out.
I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad Rowan was there to help you pick up the pieces.
You don’t have to do anything with him that you don’t want to do.
But don’t wait forever. That man is a good one, a really good one, and he would walk away from everything if you demanded it from him.
But if you don’t want this, if you don’t want him, you need to call it soon. ”
“I think we’re fae mates,” I blurted, the words escaping before I could hold them back.
Moira’s hands shook. She set her tea mug down. “Holy shit,” she breathed. “Are you sure? How do you know?”
“I—I’m not sure. And I don’t know. I’ve been feeling this thing when he’s around. This feral tug toward him, and it’s different from that thing in my chest.”
“It doesn’t feel evil or dark?” Moira’s eyes narrowed. “No other sense of magic around it?”
“I’ve already checked. Multiple times.” And I had. “The magic is coming from inside me. And it wants Rowan. Bad.”
Moira pressed her lips together. “My gods, Evie. You’re horny for Rowan, aren’t you?”
“Stoooopppp,” I begged.
“Like horny, horny. You want to throw that man down and violate him, don’t you?”
“Please shut up.”
Moira snickered. “Alright. Let’s talk this out. Two, let’s call them species, are tugging you toward each other. Don’t you think that’s the biggest sign the universe is ever going to send you?”
“It’s more complicated than that.” I closed my eyes.
“Oh,” Moira breathed. “You feel you’re being unfaithful to Caelan.”
A silence fell between us. “That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Moira said after a moment. “That fucker had his head and other things buried the gods know where in Rachel.”
I winced.
“No. You need to hear this. It’s been months, Evie.
Caelan treated you like shit, was unfaithful, and then mocked you over it.
” She plowed through my attempts to interrupt her.
“And before you say, ‘Moira, Lugh tricked him. He wasn’t in his right mind,’ we all know he was in his right mind enough to say all the horrible shit he did afterward, right?
And we all know Lugh’s type of magic could never force someone to do those same things if they were truly in love with their partners.
Caelan had one foot out the door already when Lugh fucked with his head.
He might have stayed. In fact, I think he would have because he wanted to be king, but eventually, he would have torn everything you built down and crushed your heart in the process.
Rowan is the one who took you from that place and helped you rebuild your life.
If you want to go take that delicious hunk of man meat to pound town, you go home right now, flip your hair, and I guarantee that man will go feral. ”
“Moira,” I breathed.
She snorted. “I’ve been saving that all up for months.”
“Obviously. So…you weren’t a big fan of Caelan then.”
Moira rolled her eyes. “I liked him just fine for a Lord. Hell, I like him better than Soren. But I sensed the moment things changed. Now I think he’s a coward and a petty little man for not using his words to end the thing between you before he destroyed anything good you two had.”
I had a lot to think about. Moira had always been a blunt kind of friend, but she rarely spoke to me like this.
Not with this heat. “You’re a good friend,” I said softly.
“But I’m not going to pound town with Rowan.
I’m not ready. If we go that far, the mating bond will probably finalize.
I want to be sure. Things are moving too fast.”
“Ah,” Moira said. “Okay. That makes sense. This time, there are consequences to pound town. Can you do butt stuff?”
A laugh cracked out of me. “Ass.”
She grinned and nudged my thigh with her toes. “Just keep it as an option. You’d be surprised at all the undiscovered nerve endings.”
“Shut up and finish your tea. I need help putting the window display together.”
Moira laughed and winked.
With her, I always knew where I stood. She was the best friend a girl could have.
Even if she was the kind of friend who suggested doing butt stuff.