Chapter 12 #2
Instead of letting me go when he sat, he turned me and settled me in between his legs.
His arms were wrapped around my waist. I leaned against his chest and when I had settled into his warmth, I realized Rowan made me feel safe, really safe.
I never had to worry about what I said or did, or what I looked like.
I didn’t have to fear what my future children might become or worry whether they’d become monsters.
They wouldn’t. Not if they were made with love.
The thought made something tight uncurl in my chest.
Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes.
Rowan leaned forward. “You okay?” he whispered in my ear.
I nodded, not trusting myself to turn around.
Mom’s eyes settled on me. A soft smile curved her lips at the way Rowan held me, the way he was unconcerned with what other people might think. He fit in so well with everyone and was well liked.
Why couldn’t I take that final step?
Sirena blew smoke rings and let out a satisfied sigh. “You’ve outdone yourself, Cliona.”
Moira lit hers, took a few puffs, and passed it over. I stared at it for a moment. “What the hell,” I whispered, and joined in, passing it to Rowan when I was finished. Mom had her own, so Rowan passed it back to Moira.
Mom snapped her fingers. A small firepit appeared in the middle of our makeshift circle. Another snap and a cheery blaze lit, the sound of wood popping and crackling lending a cozy feeling to our gathering.
“Now we’re talking,” Moira said, coughing a little before she passed the joint back over.
We were silent for a while. I was digesting the night’s events and wondering what our next steps should be when a slow, languorous feeling crept through my body. All the stress and worry fell right out of my head.
“Oh,” I whispered. “That’s nice.”
Rowan’s chest rumbled with a laugh. “How much would you charge for this?” he asked Mom.
“Family is always free,” Mom said. Her words were a little slower and her eyes a little more glittery.
Sirena clicked her tongue. “And me?”
“Full price,” Mom said. “Plus fifteen percent.”
Sirena showed her teeth. “Honestly, Cliona. You can’t possibly still be mad after all these years.”
Mom sighed. “I can’t be mad at much of anything right now. Ask me tomorrow.”
Moira snort laughed. “What did you do to her?”
Sirena sighed. “I flirted with her boyfriend.”
I gasped. “Dad?”
The siren rolled her eyes. “Yes. In my defense, everyone flirted with Cernunnos.”
“Were you friends before this?” I looked at Mom, who watched Sirena with the intensity of a leopard about to pounce from the brush.
When Sirena winced, Moira let out a chortle.
“Noooooo,” I breathed. “Were you two besties?”
Mom took another hit and squinted at the siren. “Besties. I’ve never heard that word, but yes, we were what the humans called best friends.”
“Sirena, you ignorant little cow,” Moira murmured.
I belly laughed. Rowan’s amusement rumbled against my back. He shifted and brought up a knee, allowing me to lean back a little further. I laced our fingers together. Rowan stroked his thumb over the back of my knuckles, sliding down the back of my hand toward the wrist.
I felt good. Relaxed, happy, and secure. I can’t remember the last time I hadn’t stressed about anything. This stuff Mom brought was dangerous. If I had access to it, I’d never get anything done. I’d curl up with Rowan and waste the day away.
I tilted my head up and watched him. He dropped a kiss on my nose. “Feeling good?” he asked, his voice a low rasp.
“Mmmm.” I liked hearing him talk. With my other hand, I reached up and stroked the line of his jaw, my thumb sliding over his bottom lip. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Rowan’s eyes crinkled. “We have an audience,” he whispered. “But I’m not going to care if you keep looking at me like that.”
“You make me feel safe. Cherished. I love who I am when I’m with you.”
Rowan’s eyes turned gold. He bent to kiss me when magic flared against the wards.
His head jerked up. Mom let out a soft curse.
“We have company.” She rose and straightened her skirts, approaching our unwanted guest. “Lord Caelan, we are in the middle of a private gathering.”
“You’re on my land.” Rowan and I turned to see Caelan prowling back and forth at the back of the property, stopped by the glowing wards.
“No,” Mom said. “The fae has claimed this land. It belongs to my daughter, the fae queen. Your territory begins where hers ends.”
Caelan slammed his hands against the ward again, his eyes widening when he spotted me. Confusion lit his face as he took in the man holding me—Rowan under a glamour.
A derisive laugh broke from him. “Why am I not surprised by another man holding you? Does your Lord know?”
Rowan’s arms tightened around me in warning. I didn’t know if he’d give himself away if he spoke.
Mischief reared its marijuana-soaked head. “My Lord knows everything.” I ran a proprietary hand over Rowan’s thigh, higher and higher until I reached the apex of his thighs. I pressed a kiss to his jaw and nipped his chin.
Rowan sucked in a sharp breath and closed his eyes. He tilted his neck to give me better access.
“Every single touch, every single word, Rowan knows.”
Caelan’s eyes glowed with fury. “I judged you correctly,” he growled. “Who is he? Someone who can help you get wherever you need to go?”
I pressed my nose against Rowan’s throat, then replaced it with my mouth.
He went pliant under my hands. I licked up the column of his neck and nipped him again.
“Gods,” Rowan whispered, so low only I could hear it. “Evie.”
“Yes,” I said to Caelan. My eyes glowed azure blue, casting light over our skin. “This man is sexy and powerful and doesn’t give a shit what my womb can or cannot do for him.” My fingers wove through Rowan’s hair, the silken tresses sliding through my fingers like satin.
Caelan slammed against the wards again. I laughed and turned to straddle Rowan. His hands wrapped around my waist.
“You faithless bitch,” Caelan seethed. “I will call the Lord and tell him exactly what you’re doing.”
I grinned at Rowan. My body felt both connected and disconnected, warm and supple. “You should,” I said to Caelan. “Describe in great detail what we’re doing tonight.” I bent to kiss Rowan. “He’s a little voyeur and likes to know what I’m doing with my body.”
Our tongues tangled, the taste of him setting my nerves on fire.
“Leave, Lord,” Mom commanded. “You have no dominion here.”
“Your daughter is doing a fine job of making an enemy out of me.”
Mom laughed. “My daughter did nothing but love you when you didn’t deserve it. She fought by your side and would have died there. As far as I’m concerned, you did her a great favor. She’s no longer your concern, and if you’re smart, you’d leave her alone.”
I heard the words, but Rowan was busy sliding my shirt up and running his hands over my bare back.
Words fell away when his hands moved up and his thumbs brushed the tips of my nipples through my bra.
“We should go,” Moira said, choking on a laugh. “Before we all get a little too voyeuristic.”
There was more whispered conversation and shuffling before Mom touched my shoulder. Rowan’s hands stilled. “He’s gone, but I wouldn’t linger outside.” A pause. “I’ve furnished your bedroom. Text me in the morning and I’ll be back to get you.”
A shift of wind and silence fell.
Rowan opened his eyes, showing me the telltale gold that would have given him away to Caelan. I leaned over him, my hands on his powerful chest. “I want to taste you. Everywhere.”
“You say the sweetest things to me.” Rowan’s smile was slow and lazy.
He rose up and claimed my lips in another searing kiss.
He pulled away, amusement glimmering in his golden gaze.
“We must be careful tonight, Evie. Our senses are dulled by pleasure and drugs. I want to touch you everywhere, take you against every surface, but if we go that far, the mating bond will seal.”
His thumb brushed the undersides of my breasts. I lifted my arms up and raised an eyebrow. A wicked chuckle was his response as he slid my shirt over my head. Rowan wasted no time in removing my bra, his lips and hands everywhere.
“I’m serious,” he murmured against my skin. “I won’t let you go that far, no matter how much you may want to.”
I wanted to. Gods did I want to.
“I smell your desire. I feel it tugging me into you.” Rowan’s nostrils flared.
“We can do other things. A lot of things, I hope?”
In response, Rowan wrapped his arms around me and leapt to his feet. “Yes, you beautiful, wicked thing. We can do a lot of things.”
Several hours later, we lay in a tangle of limbs, our breaths rasping and hoarse.
“Mom is an evil genius,” I rasped.
“Gods,” Rowan murmured. “Gods.” His hand tangled in my hair, and he tugged me closer, claiming my lips in a bruising kiss. “Can you imagine what it might be like if—”
He cut himself off.
My head was clearer, my thoughts cohesive, and even in a haze of pleasure, clarity struck me like a lightning bolt. I rolled on top of Rowan, straddling him, and laced our fingers together.
He blinked up at me in surprise. “You may have to give me five minutes, darling.”
I snorted. “I’m in love with you, Rowan.”
His eyes went liquid gold. “Evie.”
I shook my head. “Don’t doubt this. I don’t. I’m scared of what comes next. I’m scared of a permanent bond. I feel guilty about what happened with Caelan, but I do not doubt how I feel about you.” I swallowed hard. “I’m not ready for a mating bond. Not yet.”
He watched me carefully, his body tight like a drum.
My lips curled into a soft smile. “But I will be.”
Tears shimmered in Rowan’s eyes. “Yeah?” he whispered.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
His smile was bright and wide. “Thank the gods,” he whispered, reaching up to cup my face.
“You are everything I’ve ever wished for, Evie.
My people love you. My lands love you. I love you.
Always.” His thumbs stroked my cheeks. “The first time I ever saw you, I choked on jealousy. Caelan and I were friends, and I would never have dreamed of doing anything improper. Even when I saw things between you hanging by a thread, all I wanted was your happiness, even if it came at the expense of mine. But seeing what Caelan was doing to you slowly broke my heart. When I carried you away from this place, I couldn’t think of anything other than protecting you and helping you heal.
This, where we are right now, wasn’t even a sliver of hope in the back of my mind, not with the way he’d broken you.
I only wanted you to live again. Lying with you now, holding you skin to skin…
” His voice trailed off. “This is more than I ever thought I deserved.”
Tears spilled freely down my face. Even when we were only friends, Rowan knew exactly what to say to me.
“You are a precious gift to me,” I whispered.
“And now that we are here, and we know how we feel about each other, we should never speak of Caelan again. Not in this context. He is a part of my past that brought me to you, so in a messed-up way I have to be grateful.”
Rowan’s eyes crinkled. He tugged me down to kiss me, and when we broke apart, a soft laugh escaped him. “I noticed you long before Caelan did.”
I stilled and lifted my head to peer at him. “When?”
“I traveled to Joy Springs frequently and spent a lot of time in the downtown area. Occasionally, I would spot you through the window of your shop. I wanted to come talk to you, but it was bad form for another Lord to encroach on their host’s citizens.
In fact, dating one’s citizens sets a dangerous precedent.
” His eyes crinkled. “That is why I hope to marry you. I do not like to set dangerous precedents.”
My heart melted. “You should have talked to me.”
His eyes glowed. “Should I?”
I nodded. “I’m not sure if I would have been nice to you, but I would have remembered you.”
He laughed. “I’ve never met someone with such a disdain for authority.”
I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “You’re cute, so I might have held back some vitriol.”
Rowan snorted and rolled over, trapping me between his arms. “Just cute?”
I pretended to mull but lost all my coyness when his lips began traveling down my skin.
Soon after I was a quivering mess, and that golden thread between us grew ever brighter.