Chapter 17 #2
Every muscle in Rafael locked. His breathing was harsh against my neck. Then he rolled us both, pulling me on top of him so fast I barely registered the movement before I was straddling his hips, his hands gripping my thighs.
His eyes were black, feral. "I need—I need to be inside you."
I reached for my discarded jeans, digging through the pockets for the small packet of lube. "Okay. Yes. I can show you how to—"
Rafael kissed me. Hard. Desperate. Then he pulled back and caught my jaw, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. "Don't perform for me." His grip tightened until I winced. "I can tell you're doing it. Stop."
"I'm not—" The lie died on my lips when he squeezed harder.
"You are." He forced my head to the side and bit my neck. I gasped and tried to squeeze away. He bit down harder, and my resistance crumbled. "I don't want a seduction expert. I want you. The real you. Terrified and vulnerable and mine."
"Rafael—" My voice cracked.
"Say you're scared." He released my jaw and traced the bite mark, blood welling under his thumb. He pressed into it, making me flinch. "Tell me the truth, or this stops right now."
My pulse hammered. For the first time since we'd started, I had no script. "I'm terrified."
"Of what?"
"Of letting you in. Of giving you this." My hands twisted in the sheets. "No one's ever... I don't let anyone..."
"I know." He kissed me again, and I tasted my own blood on his lips. "But you're going to let me. You're going to give me everything. Understand?"
I nodded, but I almost felt like I was floating.
Rafael grabbed the lube from my hand and tore it open. "Tell me how to open you up so I can fuck you properly."
The crude words made my cock throb. "One finger first. Then more. As many as I can take before you try to..." I stopped, swallowed hard. "Before you split me open on your cock."
He coated his fingers, the slick sound obscene in the quiet room. His other hand gripped my hip, holding me steady above him.
"Lean forward," he said. "Brace yourself against my chest."
I did, my palms flattening against the hard planes of his chest. His heartbeat thundered beneath my hands. From this angle, looking down at him, I could see every flicker of emotion cross his face. Want. Possession. Something deeper that made my breath catch.
His slick fingers found my entrance from below. I gasped at the first touch, and then he was pushing inside.
The intrusion shocked me. My back arched, and a choked sound escaped my throat. Rafael's eyes never left my face, watching every reaction as he worked his finger deeper.
"Breathe," he said, but he didn't wait for me to relax.
This was what it meant to give up control. Even though I was on top, even though gravity gave me the power to pull away, I stayed and let him set the pace.
"Look at me."
I opened my eyes, and it was impossible not to look down at him.
He pushed his finger all the way in, and my mouth fell open on a gasp.
"Another," I managed. "I can take another."
He pulled out and added more lube. Two fingers pressed against my entrance, and this time I watched his face as he pushed inside. His jaw clenched, his pupils dilating as my body fought the intrusion.
But he kept pushing.
I shuddered and rocked my hips forward, letting my cock drag across the coarse hairs of his stomach. “God, that’s good. So good, but if you crook your fingers just a little—”
He did, and a bolt of pure pleasure shot up my spine. My eyes rolled back, and my fingers and toes curled.
“Like that?” he asked as if he hadn’t just rocked my world with two fucking fingers.
“You keep pushing on my prostate like that, you’re going to make me come, Priest.”
He let out a small snort. “Don’t call me priest when I fuck you.”
“Why not?” I opened my eyes and looked down at him, rocking my hips forward a little so I could fuck myself on his fingers. “It’s hot. Admit it.”
A tiny ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. “Maybe.”
“Okay then, priest. You’d better get more fingers in me or your big holy cock will never fit.”
“There’s nothing holy about my cock and what I’m about to do to you with it,” he said, and before I could argue, he pressed a third finger inside me.
I bit my lip and groaned loudly, thankful that Jasper and Diego had fucked off so we could… well, fuck.
"Too much?" His free hand came up to grip my jaw. "Do you need me to stop?"
“If you do, you’ll never fit,” I managed through gritted teeth.
“Lorenzo.”
“Don’t you dare stop now.”
He pressed all three fingers deep, and I gasped at the stretch.
Then he curled his fingers against that spot, and I thought I might pass out. My cock jerked, spilling pre-cum across his stomach. I was close to coming, and he hadn't even touched my cock yet.
“Fuck, priest. You’d better get that holy rod of yours inside me before your fingers finish the job.”
“I told you…Ah, fuck. Never mind.” He grabbed the lube and coated his cock. "Lift up," he commanded.
I rose on shaky thighs. His hands guided my hips, positioning me over his cock. The head pressed against my entrance, and we both stopped breathing.
"Look at me," he demanded. "I want to see your face when you take me."
My eyes met his, and I lowered my body onto his. At first, my body fought, but gravity and his hands on my hips kept pushing me down, forcing the intrusion, and I made a sound like I was being torn apart.
My hands scrambled for purchase on his chest, and my fingers closed around handfuls of thick, perfect chest hair. "God..." The word came out choked. "Rafael, you're so big..."
"Can you keep going?" His grip on my hips tightened.
I nodded. "Just don’t—"
He pulled me down another inch, and I couldn’t breathe.
…Do that, I thought but didn’t dare say it out loud. Rafael wasn’t experienced enough to know what the hell he was doing, and I wasn’t prepped enough to take someone of his size, but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying.
He pulled me down harder, faster, without giving me time to adjust, until I was fully seated, my ass flush against his hips.
It hurt, but not so bad that I couldn't take it, and from the look on his face, he needed this more than I did.
"You okay?" I managed, because someone had to be the responsible one here, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be the virgin priest currently balls-deep inside me for the first time in his life.
"I'm—" His voice cracked. He swallowed hard, his hands trembling where they gripped my hips. "Lorenzo, you're so tight. I can feel everything. Every time you breathe, every time you clench. I can’t…"
"Don't you dare come yet." I rocked forward slightly, testing the stretch, and the movement made us both gasp. "We’re making this last."
"I don't think I can—"
"Yes, you can." I lifted up slightly, just an inch, and sank back down. The drag of his cock inside me made me bite my lip. "Fuck. Okay. That's... that's really good."
Rafael's grip on my hips tightened, knuckles going white. "Do that again."
I did, lifting up and back down, setting a slow rhythm.
My thighs were already shaking from the effort, but watching Rafael's face made it worth it.
His eyes were wide, pupils blown, lips parted as he sucked in ragged breaths.
He looked wrecked. Overwhelmed. Like every nerve ending in his body had just woken up for the first time.
Decades of celibacy had left him desperate for it, and now he was inside me and didn’t know what to do with all the input.
"You're so fucking beautiful like this," I said, and immediately regretted it because that sounded like something I'd say to a mark, something calculated and false, and Rafael had asked me not to—
"Don't perform for me." His grip on my hips turned bruising. "I can hear it in your voice."
"I'm sorry," I started, but he pulled me down into a brutal kiss, all teeth and tongue and possession. When he pulled back, there was blood on both our lips.
"I don't want pretty words," he said against my mouth. "I don't want you to make this good for me. I want you here. Present. Real. Even if that means you don't know what to say. Even if that means it's messy and awkward and you're scared."
My chest was suddenly so tight, I could barely breathe. "I am scared."
"I know." His thumb brushed my cheekbone. "So am I."
We stayed like that for a moment before Rafael's hands moved back to my hips.
"Now move," he said. "Show me what this feels like when you're not pretending."
I started moving, but this time I let myself feel the stretch, the burn, the fullness. The way his cock made my toes curl when it hit just right. My cock bounced between us, leaking steadily onto his stomach.
"Fuck," I gasped. “Right there, keep—oh god—"
My thighs were burning, muscles screaming from holding myself up and controlling the pace. I tried to keep going, but my legs gave out, and I collapsed down onto him hard. The sudden depth punched the air out of my lungs.
"I can't—" My voice broke. "My legs—"
"Then let me." His hands tightened on my hips, and he started lifting and lowering me, fucking me like I weighed nothing. To someone his size, I probably did.
And it was perfect.
Every time he pulled me down, wet, obscene sounds filled the room. My cock bounced between us, dripping. I couldn't control the high, broken noises coming out of me anymore.
"All these years," Rafael said, voice rough with wonder. “All these years, and this is what I was missing. All this…and it still doesn’t feel like enough. Why isn’t it enough?”
My hand slipped, and I found myself staring down at where my palm rested over the bite mark scar I’d given him all those years ago.
And suddenly, I had an idea. A terrible, perfect idead.
“Bite me,” I said.
He looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind.
I offered him my arm. “Bite me like I bit you in the warehouse. Just do it.”
Rafael grabbed my forearm and pulled it down to his mouth, but he was being too gentle.
“Harder,” I demanded, and when it still wasn’t enough, “Harder, Rafael. Make it hurt.”