Chapter 2
Grace followed Mrs. Brown to the front office, but she couldn’t stop thinking of that boy. Who was he? How did he look just like Haemosu from her webtoon?
Mrs. Brown pushed open the door to the front office. The receptionist looked up from her e-reader and waved at Grace with a friendly smile. Mr. Ross, the vice principal, called a hello from his open office door.
There were only two kinds of kids that the front office staff would know by name: the troublemakers and the overachievers. Grace was clearly the latter.
As for the former, just then Zoe Maria Ortiz sauntered into the office, latte in hand. Their hair bounced with perfect curls despite the humidity, their brown skin glowing. And their outfit of cropped tee and ripped jeans was just on the border of breaking dress code.
“Hey, Linda,” Zoe greeted the receptionist. “Mrs. B.” They sent a two-finger salute to the guidance counselor like they had not a care in the world.
“Here to see Mr. Ross again?” Mrs. Brown sounded resigned.
“You’re so astute, Mrs. B.” Zoe grinned before sending a wink to Grace. “Whatcha in for?”
Grace rolled her eyes at her best friend.
“Ms. Bak?” Mrs. Brown was waiting by her office door.
“We’ll talk later,” Zoe said with a grin, leaning against the receptionist’s counter.
Grace stepped into the cramped guidance office.
The space was mostly taken up by large filing cabinets holding the official records of every student at Winter Lake High.
Grace sat in one of the hard plastic visitor chairs, shifting back and forth, trying to find a comfortable position, before giving up and perching on the very edge of the seat.
Mrs. Brown shuffled through a drawer and pulled out a paper before folding her hands on her desk.
She had a pleasant face, the kind that engendered trust. Maybe that’s why she had gravitated to a position like guidance counselor.
Her brown hair was pulled back in a messy bun.
Grace wondered if she wore it that way to make herself seem more approachable.
The burgundy nail polish on her thumb was chipped, and Grace found herself focusing on that.
Better than to see any disappointment or, worse, pity on the guidance counselor’s face.
“So, Grace, it’s been hard to get you in here,” Mrs. Brown said. Her voice was neither chastising nor harsh, but Grace still sank in her chair. She didn’t like disappointing an authority figure.
It’s true that Mrs. Brown had been asking her to come by since last semester.
And usually, Grace would have done it immediately, except, she was pretty sure she knew what Mrs. Brown was going to say.
She would ask how Grace was coping with Halmeoni’s death.
Something Grace couldn’t bring herself to discuss.
“I’ve just been really busy. The winter carnival is taking up a lot of my time.”
“Yes, I’ve heard about all the hard work you’ve put into it as the junior class vice president. But I don’t think I’ve seen the class president working with you on it, have I?”
Grace’s smile faltered at that. The class president was more focused on improving his jump shot than attending student council meetings.
But Grace knew saying that to Mrs. Brown would cross the line into being a snitch.
And she couldn’t afford more smears on her already dismal social reputation.
So she just shrugged. “I offered to do most of the organizing. I like it.”
Mrs. Brown nodded somberly. “That’s actually what I’d like to talk to you about.
The second semester has just started, and already I’m worried you might be spreading yourself too thin.
You got permission to sign up for five AP classes this semester, plus the school newspaper and yearbook.
Add your extracurriculars and student council, and I wonder if perhaps you should slow down? ”
Slow down? That was not in Grace’s vocabulary. She plastered her best cordial smile on her face. “Mrs. Brown, I know it’s a lot, but it’s important to show how well-rounded I am, especially this semester. I’ve applied for the Boston University intensive science summer program.”
“Yes, and I know that was your parents’ college alma mater.”
“Med school alma mater,” Grace corrected before she could stop herself. It’s where her parents had met. And it’s where she was determined to attend herself.
Though they didn’t explicitly claim it on the brochures, any high school kid that got into the intensive science summer program was pretty much guaranteed admission into the BS/MD fast-track program at BU. So Grace couldn’t ease up, especially with her interview for the program approaching.
“I just think that it’s important for balance. Especially after a loss like you experienced last fall.” Mrs. Brown leaned forward, a sympathetic smile forming on her face.
A small ping of anxiety vibrated in Grace’s chest. Here it was, the thing she’d been dreading.
“I’m good,” Grace said quickly. “My grades were stellar last semester. I haven’t missed even a day of school since that first week.”
Mrs. Brown sighed, giving up on the polite smile. “Grace, I know that you’re an amazing student. But this isn’t about your academic performance. I still think you should consider going to see a grief counselor. I suggested it to your father after what happened last semester.”
At mention of the incident, the buzz in her chest intensified. Like bees erupting from their hive.
That’s how she imagined her anxiety. As a swarm.
When it was small enough, she could trap it in a jar.
And even though it still buzzed against the glass sometimes, it was contained.
But the few times the swarm became too big and broke free, it was like it filled her entire rib cage, leaving her no room to breathe.
You’re fine, she told herself, focusing on her inhales and exhales until the buzzing receded.
“Grace?”
She pulled her focus back to Mrs. Brown, who was holding out a piece of paper.
“Oh yes, thank you.” Grace obediently took it.
“This is the list of counselors I gave your father last semester. Perhaps you two can go over it together, talk about picking one that fits your needs?”
“Of course,” Grace said, sliding off her chair. “Thank you, Mrs. Brown. I should get to class.”
She escaped before the guidance counselor could stop her.