Chapter 31 #2
“If you’re going to criticize how I portrayed you, can you not?” She worried any criticism right now would wreck her. Something that had felt so small and personal had ballooned bigger than she’d ever imagined. And now it was literally putting people in danger.
Of course, Hae ignored her request. “It’s just that you write me almost…human.”
“Well, the Hae in the comic is supposed to be trapped among mortals for like a century,” Grace said defensively. “You really think he wouldn’t pick up human behaviors?”
Hae shook his head. “It’s not something I thought possible.”
“It wasn’t meant to be realistic. It’s a fantasy, for god’s sake. Or…it was.” She felt like throwing her arms in the air in defeat. “If I’d known you were real I’d never have written it, okay?”
“Wait, really?” Hae frowned.
Grace was taken aback by the clear disappointment on his face. Wasn’t he upset that she wrote the comic? “I mean, I guess I’m not sure. It’s difficult to know what I’d have done if I’d known about you. The real you.”
“The real me?” Hae gave a little derisive laugh. “I’m starting to think I don’t even know who that’s supposed to be. No powers.” He lifted his hands to stare at them. “No purpose.”
Grace gripped his hands, as if to stop his dark thoughts. “You do have a purpose. Even the most powerless person can have a purpose.”
Hae shook his head. “It’s different for humans.”
“Why? Because we’re mortal?”
“Because you have each other.”
Grace wondered why he seemed so lonely, even as she still held his hands. “You have us too, Hae.”
“Only when I’m deemed useful.” He pulled away. “Humans stopped believing in me once. It can happen again.”
“That’s bullshit. I hate that. What’s the point of being a god if that’s the price?”
“It’s fine. My father always warned me not to get too attached to mortals. They are fleeting. Their lives, their love.”
“That’s not true,” Grace said softly. “Love lingers, even after someone’s gone.” She pressed a hand against an ache that settled right under her breastbone.
When she looked up, Hae was watching her with that steady gaze that fired up her pulse. “You have such a huge capacity for emotion. It seems a waste that you keep trying to bottle it up inside.”
Grace tried to suck in a breath, but it entered in shuddering gasps.
“Big emotions get in the way,” she muttered.
Hae moved in. “Of what?”
Logic. Goals. Sanity.
He was way too close. Grace couldn’t think. She tried to lean back, but he only leaned forward like there was an invisible string dragging his body along with hers.
When had the tables turned in this conversation?
She’d started out trying to comfort him, and now her own emotions were going haywire.
She squeezed her eyes shut to break whatever hold he had over her, but it did nothing to clear her mind.
“You need to stop staring at me like that. I told you it’s not normal to stare at someone so intensely. ”
“I am just looking at you, Grace. There is no need to be nervous.” He sounded so calm now. Like seeing her losing her composure returned his.
Her entire body was tingling with the knowledge of how close he was. “I’m not nervous, and don’t say my name that way.”
“What way?” His voice caressed the question. It was like a lightning bolt to her chest, making her entire body hum.
“No, that’s definitely not normal,” she murmured. Then she had a sudden thought and opened her eyes to scowl at him. “Are you trying to punish me right now? For giving you false memories? Or for making you too human?”
Hae’s brows knit as he leaned away, breaking the pull between them. “Is that what you think this is? Some kind of emotional manipulation?”
She shook her head, finally able to clear it. “It must be, because why else would you be doing this?”
“Doing what, Grace?” And he did it again, that thing where he said her name like it was precious. Like she was precious.
“Acting like you want…” She didn’t know how to put it without exposing her innermost thoughts, and perhaps desires.
“Want?” He lifted a questioning brow.
“Nothing.” She released a laughing sigh. She was being ridiculous. Overthinking this whole thing the way she always did. “It’s impossible. I’m being silly.”
“Like I want who?”
Who. Not what but who. It made her shiver. There was something about him right now. Something that was equal parts enticing and dangerous.
“Grace,” he said, soft as a prayer this time.
His hand pressed ever so slightly against her lower back, urging her forward. She didn’t resist, leaning into him. She lifted her chin, watched his head lower. Could almost feel his lips on hers…
Haechi let out a rapid series of barks outside that made Grace jump, headbutting Hae right in the mouth.
He yelped in pained surprise, jerking back.
“Sorry,” Grace said. “Do you need ice?”
Haechi barked again, and she glanced out the window to see the dog jumping against the gate, rattling it as he barked manically.
“What got into him?” she wondered.
“How should I know?” Hae touched his lip gingerly and glared at the small bit of blood that came away.
“I’ll get you a towel.” Grace moved toward the bathroom when she heard a crash from outside and raced back to the window in time to see Haechi bounding across the street toward the golf course, the broken gate swinging behind him.
“He got out.” Grace pulled on her jacket. “Come on. We’ve gotta get him before he gets himself run over.”