Chapter 50
Grace gave Yuhwa privacy to talk to Hae, waiting on one of the benches that lined the hallway outside the inpatient rooms. Trying not to remember what it had been like waiting out here to see her mother.
This is different, she kept repeating to herself.
Finally, Yuhwa stepped out of the room, closing the door gently behind her. Grace was already on her feet.
“He’s awake. He’s asking for you.”
Grace moved toward the door, but Yuhwa took her hand, stopping her. “I didn’t tell him about the heart attacks. I don’t think he should know right now, in his condition.”
Grace hesitated with her hand on the door handle before taking a deep breath and turning it.
The familiarity of the room struck her like a punch to the chest. Memories she didn’t have to borrow, because they were hers, though she’d tried hard to seal them away in her glass jars.
The bed—empty now—with rumpled white sheets, where her mother had lain, frail and thin.
The stained couch under the window where she remembered sleeping while her father sat at her mother’s bedside.
Where she never got a chance to sleep when it had been her halmeoni in the hospital bed, because she’d died before the night was over.
Now Hae stood next to the old couch, staring out into the dark night, gripping the IV stand beside him.
“Hae?”
He spun around, the IV stand clattering as he hurried to her. She noticed the bags under his eyes as he took hold of her chin, turning her head left and right. “Are you okay? Were you hurt?”
“I’m fine.” She pulled his hand down. When she made to release it, his grip tightened. She let him lace their fingers, refusing to overthink it. “You’re the one in the hospital.”
“Just until the doctors allow me to leave. I must admit, whatever they put into this seems to be helping.” He tapped the IV bag.
Grace glanced at it, figured it probably had anti-coagulants or beta blockers to treat the heart attack. It wouldn’t fix what was causing them, though. Or tell them why a god was having them. She remembered Yuhwa’s request and kept that to herself for now.
“I know you’re probably angry I brought you here, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I’m not mad,” Hae interrupted. “I just wish I had better control of my powers. I wish I could protect you better.”
“You said I was the one who could help you, but I’m beginning to think I’m more of a burden than a help.”
“Nothing about you is a burden.” Hae ran his hand down her arm, leaving a trail of heat in his wake. “I told you that you were special when we first met. When will you believe me? I am—”
“A god,” Grace finished with him, a small smile quirking her lips.
“Exactly.” Hae’s responding smile slowly fell into a thoughtful expression. “Except this body seems to be human, at least according to your doctors.”
“This is all my fault for drawing you this way,” Grace said. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Now he did lift his eyes to hers. “Seeing how Habaek’s bitterness has affected him, it makes me wonder if holding on to being a god will only turn me into him eventually. Someone so obsessed with how mortals have wronged me that I can’t see beyond a need for vengeance at any cost.”
“No,” Grace said firmly. “You have a giving heart. You’d never let others get hurt for petty vengeance.”
“There you go again. Believing in me.”
“I’ll always believe in you.”
Hae smiled at that. The tenderness of his expression saturating the gold of his eyes, making them seem to shine. And maybe they were actually brighter. After all, so many things seemed to be possible with him.
Even what she did next. Grace pushed quickly onto her toes and kissed him. Just a peck. But the second of contact sent a vibrating wave through her whole body. She gaped at him in shock. As if she hadn’t been the one who’d just kissed him.
“What was that for?” His dark brow lifted in question.
“I guess, a thank you. For saving my life.” She started to explain the kiss away as meaningless. Then she stopped herself. “No, actually, that’s not why.”
“You’re not grateful I saved your life?” Hae asked.
“No, I mean yes, I am grateful. But that’s not why I kissed you.” She paused, trying to gather her courage. “I did it because I wanted to. I’ve wanted to for a while.”
His brow furrowed, the beginning of a frown, and Grace steeled herself for a rejection.
Then his lips tilted up in a grin. “Could you do it again?”
His blunt statement surprised a laugh out of her. “Excuse me?”
“What? Was it a one-time thing?” He pushed away a strand of hair that hung in front of her eyes. His touch made her skin tingle.
“I didn’t say that,” Grace said, wondering where this boldness came from.
“Then, I’d like to do it again.” He watched her carefully. And when she didn’t reply, he lifted a brow. “If you’d like to.”
Her insides felt like they were vibrating. Faster and brighter than the buzz of anxiety she was so used to. This was a fluttering of anticipation. Excitement. She nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
He cupped her cheek, leaning into her. A warmth like a gentle winter sun caressing her skin.
She tried to watch him as he dipped his head toward hers.
But his features blurred. And Grace found herself closing her eyes, anticipating the kiss a second before it happened.
A soft press of lips to lips. The slide of his hand as it moved from her cheek to the nape of her neck, tightening, pulling her into him.
It wasn’t the controlled or calm kiss she’d have imagined from a god. But desperate, almost wild. A lip-bruising, skin-tingling kiss.
He lifted his head slightly, just enough for an intake of new oxygen to set her head spinning.
She gasped, her lips parting. She felt the light sweep of his tongue against hers, and her brain, so often filled with dozens of jarring, concurrent thoughts and anxieties, cleared completely.
Became an empty vessel ready to be filled with thoughts of him.
Thoughts of how to pull him closer, thoughts of how to make this last longer.
Sun-bright warmth spread through her chest and her limbs so fast that she thought she was going to burst.
When the kiss ended, she felt dazed. Hae rested his forehead against hers and held her waist, rocking them slowly back and forth, like they were slow-dancing with no music.
“That was my first mortal kiss,” Hae said.
“Well, you’re really good at it already. Must be because you’re a god.” She grinned and glimpsed the answering twitch of his own lips.
When he pulled away, it was like cold air rushed in to fill the space between their bodies. And with the distance came her usual insecurities. Now that they were no longer touching, she wondered if the kiss had been a mistake.
“Well, as a god, I need to figure out a better way to keep you safe. Habaek keeps coming after you.”
Grace nodded, shifting back. When her foot bumped against her bag, the contents spilled out. The box that held Hae’s sword fell open, the sword hilt gleaming as it clattered across the floor.
Hae bent down to pick it up and Grace started to blurt out a warning, but she was too slow. His fingers closed around the hilt.
Instantly, the sword began to grow, just like in the storage room. The blade flashed, bathing Hae in light. It shimmered around him, engulfed his body until the shape of it seemed to waver.
The intensity of it set white dots dancing in Grace’s vision, and she lifted a hand to shield her eyes.
The light shimmered over him, plating his skin in scales.
Then it shifted, rose high to crown him with antlers.
Before again morphing, into voluminous wings that burst from his shoulder blades.
A beam of light shot from his palm, setting his pillow ablaze.
Grace raced over, throwing the blanket over it to snuff out the flame.
It was like his powers had all been activated at once.
Hae made a choking sound, dropping to one knee.
“Let go!” She rushed to his side.
“I can’t,” he gritted out, clutching at his sword hand with his other.
Grace tried to pry his hands open herself. But they were fused around the hilt.
The light emitting from Hae radiated heat, blasting Grace until she started to sweat. It felt like being roasted by the unforgiving rays of a desert sun.
“Get away from me,” Hae gritted out. “Before you get hurt.”
“No.” Grace shook her head, still trying to wrench his hand open, even as she felt her skin burn.
She finally felt his grip give and wrestled the hilt from his grip.
It was like holding a burning iron poker, and with a hiss, she dropped the sword to the floor, kicking it under the small visitor couch as it began to shrink again.
Her hand was burnt across the palm, an angry red slash.
Hae, now freed, slumped against the bed.
The heart monitor was beeping incessantly and Grace wasn’t sure when that had begun. But the door burst open, nurses and residents hurrying in with a crash cart as Hae began to convulse.
“Step back,” one of the nurses ordered. And despite her worry, Grace did.
“What happened?” the resident called to her. “What was he doing?”
“N-nothing,” Grace stuttered out, hiding her burnt hand. But of course that was a lie. The sword enhanced Hae’s powers. But, the stronger they grew, the weaker his body became. Mrs. Moon’s warning came back to her. The vessel cannot hold everything.
The vessel. Hae’s human body. It couldn’t hold his godly powers. It wasn’t made for that.
It was now clear to Grace that Hae’s own powers were killing him.