Chapter 30 #2
“I believe it’s you. Marks only knows about your earth magic …
which, while fucking incredible to witness, isn’t what sets you apart.
If he had any idea what you’re capable of, he would have done far worse than villainized you.
Poison Ivy was his attempt at controlling you, his personal revenge for your mother scheming with the enemy. ”
I would hardly classify negotiating a way home as ‘scheming with the enemy,’ but of course Marks would.
If my mother was pregnant with me when she was exiled, then he knows I’m capable of more than the other heirs.
But rather than manipulating me to be his ally, he chose to belittle me and make the nation hate me.
He wanted to make sure I never realized my own worth—and damnit if he didn’t almost succeed.
He crafted a narrative that I was a villain, and my words and actions proved him right.
He created Poison Ivy, but I grew her thorns all on my own.
I became what he made me and never realized I could be more.
I wore the yoke the gods bestowed on me and never thought to remove it.
Until now.
“If we succeed and kill Marks … if it’s you who can open the portal … will you?” I ask.
Silver rims Cal’s gray eyes. I can’t read him; his wants are muddy, like he’s considered this question a thousand times and has never settled on an answer. He scoots closer to me, letting his arm drape over my shoulders and his head rest atop mine.
“If you want me to open the gates of the Under Realm and let Death’s demons devour this realm, I will find a way to do it for you. Whatever you ask, I’m yours to command.”
“Whoever sits the throne will command you, Cal. Not me.”
“You sell yourself short, princess. You may not be the savior the people of Corinth think they want, but you are exactly what they need. Whether saving them entails killing a god or opening a portal to a different realm, you will do what needs to be done. You should be their queen.”
I don’t correct him. Letting him think that I want the crown is kinder than the truth: I won’t be alive long enough to even cast my vote. No one can kill a god and live to tell the tale.
“Is there no limit to your delusion?” I joke, trying and failing to distract my aching heart.
“Limit?” he laughs. “I have no limits when it comes to you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do, nowhere I wouldn’t go for you. There is not a path you could take that I would not follow, in this life or any other.”
A million tiny daggers slice my skin. Shattered fragments of what can never be rip me open in bloodless wounds. I slide backwards across the muddy creek bank to distance myself from his touch, from the magic that overwhelms every part of me.
I can’t bear to hear him speak like this anymore, like I’m someone deserving of this kind of love when I am only every vile thing they have ever said about me. Even the gods believe me unworthy of happiness, or they wouldn’t have dangled this in front of me while orchestrating my demise.
“Stop,” I demand, cursing the tears that well against my will.
“Stop what?”
“Stop loving me!” I yell at him. “I am darkness and poison. I can’t give you what you want.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
My confession is little more than a whisper, the words shredding what’s left of me on their way out. “Can’t. There’s too much at stake to get distracted now.”
“How am I a distraction? We have the same goal.”
The words I can’t say hover on the tip of my tongue. The concession that I refuse to voice: because you make me want to stay.
“Because if it came down to it, you wouldn’t choose Corinth and I will.”
“Don’t fucking lie, Ivy.” Cal runs his fingers through his hair, pulling the ends tight in frustration. “You’ve never had a choice, not in your title or your destiny, and the very first one you get, you’re going to pick the people who have loathed you over me?”
“How is this a choice?” I rise to my feet, lifting my shirt to expose the sea beast inked across my skin. “This is designed by the fucking gods. We didn’t choose this.”
“I did.” Cal rises to his knees, tanned fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt as he tears open the buttons to reveal his matching tattoo.
“We were always destined to find each other, but that could have been as enemies or reluctant allies. Our lives are connected, yes, but the only god who has a say in how I feel about you is me. My love is not fated; I willed it into existence. I alone chose you and I will do it every day for the rest of my immortal life whether you choose me back or not. Fuck destiny. Fuck the gods. Fuck the prophecy. All I want is you!”
“You don’t even know me!” Black shadows dance at the corners of my vision as my dark magic rises in resistance.
Cal grips my wrists tight, pulling me down into the mud until we’re chest to chest.
“Don’t I?” he scoffs. “We are the same. If anyone can understand what it’s like to live behind a moniker meant to dehumanize you, it’s me.
We are products of a cruel world and an even crueler god …
but we don’t have to be alone anymore.” Rough hands find my face and force my eyes to meet his.
“I want all of you, Ivy. There is no part of you too dark, too poisonous for me. No piece of you that I do not want.”
I allow myself a brief moment to gaze into the depthless oceans of his gray eyes, eyes that I want to fall hopelessly into but can’t. A life I want but can never have.
“You can’t know that.”
Magic barrels through me like a flash of lightning. The fathomless infinity of his devotion rushes through my veins, ricocheting between my bones and overwhelming my feeble soul. One look from him, one brush of his lips against mine and I will crumble into the dust that my decaying magic craves.
“I know you feel that. How can you possibly believe yourself reprehensible to me when the fabric of your soul denies it?” Cal shakes his head, a single tear threatening to break loose from the corner of his eye. “You can try to push me away all you want, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“And if Marks kills me?” I ask, in an attempt to further sabotage the moment. Doom and ruin are all that await me on this journey, and I refuse to drag Cal down with me despite my declaration.
“I already said I’d open the gates of the Under Realm,” he chuckles softly. “Who do you think will be holding them open for you when you get there?”
There’s hope written into every line of his delicate smile, the sight of it demanding me to give in to his pleas, to forget every nightmare that’s burned into my memory, and to let his cosmic pull drag me into blissful oblivion.
In a better world, we’d both walk away from this monumental task, both live to see the other side together. But that world doesn’t exist. In this world, we’re gods who have so little control over our power that we can’t even choose our own ending.
No matter how much he may want to.
No matter how much I may want to.
“Do I want to know why you’re both covered in mud and his shirt is ripped?” Kieran asks when Cal and I return to camp.
“Nothing to warrant that look on your face,” I reply mockingly.
“Shame,” the captain mumbles under his breath, gray eyes glinting in the moonlight that has fallen since we left the stream.
“I will take the first watch as long as you both agree not to do anything in that tent that I can hear out here,” Kieran starts. “Your combined magic is already enough to upset my stomach, you don’t need to make it worse.”
“You can really do that?” I ask. “You can sense magic?”
“Sometimes I forget how young you were when your mother died,” the governor replies. “Did your magic even manifest before she—”
“No,” I interrupt.
Kieran swallows thickly, running a hand through his auburn hair as he replies. “Shit … sorry. I can teach you if you want.”
“I don’t want anything from you,” I spit back at him. “Least of all your pity.”
Dark magic rises in my veins, shadows ready to strike at the source of my anger. A familiar blue power rushes out to subdue the black flames, a life preserver in the waves that threaten to pull me under.
“Ivy.” Cal’s voice cuts through the gloam, illuminating the way back to shore. “I need you to show me what you did to Rollins on the boat.”
Funneling my power into Kieran right now may not be the smartest move, but there’s a part of me that doesn’t care if he’s a casualty. Another wave of Cal’s magic rushes out to wash away the remnants of the power we can’t afford for me to use on our ally.
Reluctantly, I take a step towards Kieran, my hand outstretched to take his.
“On me this time.” The captain takes three large steps backwards, separating himself from the group. “I know you can use my power, but I need to know what happens when you funnel yours into someone else. I need to know if you’re able to do that because Kieran is only a half-god or—”
“Or if she’s able to take control of the magic of a full god.” Kieran finishes the thought, taking several large steps away from us. “Let’s see if you’ve got what it takes, Governor.”
A deep, shuddering breath fills my lungs as I take a final look at Cal.
Steel gray eyes lock onto mine, power pulsing in the air as I cast out the shimmering green bands of my magic.
They swirl through the camp, the other governor blind to the power that circles him.
But when they teasingly brush against Cal’s cheek, he leans into them.
All the confirmation I need that he’s aware of their presence.
Incandescent tendrils of my magic tease the edges of Cal’s power, green wisps glinting around his shining oceanic orb. Warmth washes over me as the colors begin to meld together, his power recognizing mine.
I push further, past the threads that beg to be woven. They part easily, welcoming me into the foyer of his refuge. I pour more of my magic into Cal, the sparkling blue aura of his power meeting mine in a thunderous crash of viridian that nearly steals the breath from my lungs.
His watery element cries out, tempting me to command the skies.
The hair on my arms stands as the electric tingle of a thunderstorm becomes mine.
The earthy petrichor that fills the night air around us gives way to the sulfuric smell of fire as I push deeper into him.
The elements of fire and air fill my veins as I breathe in the essence of his magic.
Each part of a beautiful symphony, strands of magic that I can wield individually or together.
The infinite, depthlessness I felt in Ruby rushes back to me. All-consuming, limitless power. Life and death. Every element in this realm mine to wield as I please.
I’m about to retreat, to call my magic back into my own body when a flash of black catches my attention. The beast on my stomach stirs, time slowing to a crawl. I tunnel into Cal, past the droplets of water, past the swirls of wind, past the flickering flames of fire.
Summoning this amount of power demands every emotion, every ounce of hurt and rage I can recall to pursue the darkness I seek. Water streams from my eyes, my entire body trembling as I latch onto the black core of Cal’s bottomless power.
The sea beast thrashes wildly against my too hot skin. My knees give way first, violently crashing into the ground.
Cal’s eyes are still locked on mine, the cool gray now replaced with white hot flames.
His magic—raw immortal magic—is no longer his to wield.
Veins protrude in his neck as he fights my hold, his own desperation flooding me.
Black spots cloud the corners of my vision as I tighten my command on his body, holding him physically in place as I struggle to remain conscious.
I’ve overcome the first hurdle. I’ve grabbed the power of a god, but being able to hang on is another thing entirely.
Air grows thick in my lungs and I know I have to let go. Stubbornness pushes me to the limits of my power, digging its heels in and forcing me to hold on for a few seconds longer.
Pain cracks my head in two, time running out. My body collapses as lightning flashes across the sky and oblivion claims me.