Chapter 19 #2
Danny doesn’t have to ask what he means.
The doctor’s been in the news again lately, since they’re about to hit him with child pornography charges—and that’s just for the stuff they found on his computer.
There’ll be another trial, sometime later this year, for all the girls who were abused on his exam tables.
Danny kind of wants to puke when he thinks about how many of them there were; at least a hundred have come forward so far, and Julia isn’t the only one staying silent.
“She keeps getting messages from all these asshole reporters,” Matt says heatedly. “They’re like, ‘Oh, we just want a comment,’ but you know what they really want? Someone from this Olympic team to say they were a victim. That’d be a real fucking story for them.”
Buddy brings the ball back again, panting with pride, and Danny decides to head to the basement. His mom’s not eavesdropping—well, as much as that’s possible when she’s right there—but she might still overhear something, and he’s not sure if Matt would be okay with that.
“That’s super shitty, man,” he says as he leaves the kitchen, Buddy close behind. “I’m sorry.”
“They’re fucking vultures,” Matt growls. “If I ever see one of those shitheads in person—” He breaks off, taking a long, deep breath that Danny can hear even over Buddy thumping down the stairs. “Anyway. Fuck that. What’s up with you, bro? Isn’t Sasha coming soon?”
Danny hesitates, but Matt clearly wants to change the subject, and it’s not like he needs an excuse to talk about Sasha. “Uh, yeah, he’s gonna be here in two days. I can’t wait.”
He flops onto the couch, pulls a stuffed alligator out of the cushions for Buddy to play with, and starts telling Matt about all the activities he has planned; but he hasn’t even gotten halfway through the list when Matt snorts and asks, “Dude, how are you gonna have time for all that? Aren’t you training? And coaching?”
“Yeah, but we only have two weeks, so I gotta fit it all in. I wanna show him all my favorite places, and then I want him to meet everyone, like, obviously he’s met my parents, but like, Patty and—”
“Wait, your parents still don’t know about you guys, right?”
“No,” Danny admits. “But I think I’m gonna talk to Sasha about that, cause, like…”
Because it’s been over a year since he promised he wouldn’t tell his parents, and sometimes—like today, when he’s already in a good mood—it doesn’t bother him as much, but most of the time it really fucking sucks.
He knows Sasha has to be a lot more careful than he does, and he’s not going to push if Sasha isn’t ready to come out at home; but he’s sure that once Sasha spends enough time with his parents, he’ll realize his secret’s safe with them.
“Bro, you better fucking talk to him, Diane’s gonna figure that shit out in like a week. And it’s only gonna take her that long cause she thinks you’re straight. You are not subtle, dude.”
“I’m subtle,” Danny argues, and then he has to hold the phone away from his ear because Matt’s laughing so loud.
“I’m not even gonna touch that,” Matt says when he comes back, and Danny decides it’s time to change the subject again.
“So, this is kind of random,” he starts off, all nice and casual, “but… have you and Julia done the whole… like… ‘I love you’ thing?”
“Oh, so we’re having this conversation?”
“Sorry,” Danny says quickly. “If it’s, like, personal—”
“Dude, it’s not. We’re talking about you and Sasha, right? That’s why you’re asking? I’m like legit surprised you haven’t told him that already.”
“I mean, I almost did, in Rio, but…”
He’d gotten so close, too—mouth open, words on the tip of his tongue close—but at the last second, he’d chickened out.
Because Sasha had been looking at him funny, like maybe he knew what Danny was about to say and didn’t want him to, or maybe Danny was just imagining that.
But either way, he’d second-guessed himself and kept his mouth shut.
“I don’t know, the vibe was off,” he tells Matt. “And like, things are really good now”—he smiles, remembering Sasha’s drunken confession—“but I don’t want to do it on the phone, you know? So I’ve basically just been, like, waiting. Also, I kind of feel like I need to give him a heads-up first?”
There’s a pause before Matt says, “Bro, what?”
“Well, he sort of freaks out about things? Like, when I was like, ‘Hey, you should come and hang out with me for two weeks,’ he was all like, ‘I can’t,’ but then I planned it, and he was like, ‘Okay,’ and now he’s cool with it.
Or when I was like, ‘Hey, can we talk on the phone more,’ and he got all weirded out, but then we, like, scheduled it, and he was fine.
I think he just needs time to, like, process? So maybe I could—”
“Dude, you’re so overthinking this,” Matt interrupts. “Just fucking tell him. That’s what I did with Jules.”
“You did?” Danny asks, distracted. “So, like… how’d you say it?”
“Honestly, I didn’t even mean to, I was just like, ‘Babe, I love you, but if I have to watch another Twilight movie, I’m gonna murder myself.’”
“What’d she say?”
“Oh, she didn’t even notice at first. She was like, ‘I’m sorry, how many Fast & Furious movies have I watched for you,’ and then she was like, ‘Wait, did you just tell me you love me?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah,’ and she was like, ‘Cool, I love you, too.’ And then we had, like, legendary sex.”
Danny laughs, because he can totally picture that happening. Well, minus the sex part because nope, not gonna think of his bro like that. “That’s awesome, man. Good for you.”
“Hell yeah. But the point is, you can’t just, like, plan this shit. You gotta feel it. You know? It’s either the moment or it’s not.”
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Danny says slowly.
There’s still a part of him that can’t help thinking he should prepare Sasha somehow, like, “Hey, just so you know, I’m probably gonna tell you ‘I love you’ soon, hope you’re okay with that.
” But he hadn’t done that before kissing Sasha in Nanning, or inviting him to his hotel room in Texas, or asking him for a relationship in Glasgow—and each time, Sasha had hesitated, then gone all in without looking back.
So if he needs a few more seconds to say “I love you, too,” well… Danny can wait.
Matt winds up having to go help Julia with something, and after they end the call, Danny finds himself going back to the picture of Sasha and Alina in San Diego, his heart racing in anticipation.
He might not know when or how he’ll tell Sasha he loves him, but he’s definitely gonna hug the fuck out of him as soon as they see each other again.
On top of that, he’ll finally get to meet Alina.
Even with the language barrier, he’s more excited than nervous—it’s obvious from how often Sasha mentions her that the two of them are close, and he’s curious to see if she’s quiet and reserved like her son, or if maybe she’s like his own mom, making friends wherever she goes.
On a whim, he googles how to say hello in Russian, then blinks at the results.
“Shit, Buddy, we’re gonna have to work on that…”