Chapter 34 #2
He’s looking at Sasha like maybe he’s not buying the bathroom excuse, but Sasha quickly shakes his head—he doesn’t want to pull Danny away from his friends. “Back later.”
It’s a ten-minute walk to the bathrooms, and Sasha extends it as long as he reasonably can, hiding on the other side of the building and scrolling through his phone notifications while keeping an eye on the time.
When he eventually returns to the group’s spot, he’s surprised to find it almost deserted, Danny the only one still there.
“Hey.” Danny’s eyebrows scrunch together, hovering like clouds over his usual smile. “You okay?”
“Yes? Where is everyone?”
“They went swimming.”
Sasha flushes, feeling guilty that Danny waited for him. “You should went—you should have went swimming, too.”
“Nah, it’s okay.” Danny smiles again, all sunshine now. “We can hang out, just us.”
Sasha likes the sound of that. He sits on the towel he borrowed from Danny, watching as Danny leans out of his chair to rummage for something in his backpack.
“You hungry? I brought snacks.”
Sasha’s about to say no, but Danny’s already handing him a protein bar and it’s his favorite flavor, so he relents. “Your friends are nice,” he says after the first bite, hoping this will be enough to convince Danny that he’s having a good time.
It must have worked, because Danny grins, looking relieved. “Yeah, they are. They like you.”
Sasha’s not sure that really means anything. Danny’s friends would probably get along just fine with anyone Danny introduced to them, and Sasha doubts he’s made enough of an impression for them to actually like him. Tolerate him, maybe. But as long as Danny’s happy, he doesn’t care which one it is.
“Jess asked me if you were single.”
“What?” A chill sweeps through Sasha’s chest—had something given him away? “Why?”
“Cause she’s been checking you out this whole time, dude. She wanted to know if she could hit on you.” Danny laughs at Sasha’s startled reaction, then nudges him with his knee. “Don’t worry, I told her you had a girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Sasha’s grateful for Danny’s quick thinking, but he hopes Jess doesn’t ask him any questions about his “girlfriend.” Just in case, he runs through Kirill’s recent roster, landing on a waitress named Masha.
She’d given him basically her entire life story the one time they’d met, so he’ll be able to recite plenty of facts about her if he has to.
“Just don’t tell Patty, okay?” Danny suddenly looks serious. “Him and Jess kind of have this thing where it’s, like, on and off, and it’s always just, like, bad timing or whatever, but he’s really into her. They’re totally gonna end up together, though, they just haven’t figured it out yet.”
Sasha dutifully promises to keep his mouth shut, not that he’d requested any of this information in the first place.
There’s something else he wants to ask about, though. “Is Emily… is she lesbian?”
“Yeah,” Danny says casually, like it’s no big deal at all.
And maybe to him, it isn’t. “Sorry, I thought I told you. She came out, like, right after we graduated high school. But yeah, she’s been with her girlfriend, Vic, for a couple years.
Vic was actually gonna come with us today, but she got called into work. ”
“Oh.” So that’s what Emily had meant, then, when she told Sasha she’d gone to St. Petersburg with her “girlfriend.” He’d wondered, especially after that weird exchange with Jess; but he wasn’t completely sure, since a teacher had told him once that the word “girlfriend” could be either romantic or platonic in English, depending on the context.
If only it were the same for “boyfriend,” so he could hide in plain sight, too.
“Yeah.” Danny hesitates, fiddling with his water bottle before looking back at Sasha. “You know, I’m not pushing or anything, but… I’m just saying, everyone here’s cool with it.”
Sasha doesn’t respond; he’s still thinking about Emily and her girlfriend traveling together in St. Petersburg, wishing he’d had a chance to ask her if there were any issues.
Probably not—it would have been easy enough for them to pretend they were only friends, and St. Petersburg is better than most places—but if it were him, he wouldn’t have risked it.
As for Danny’s comment, well… it’s nice to hear. It just doesn’t matter.
He lets the subject drop while he finishes his protein bar, and Danny doesn’t bring it up again. Eventually, Sasha stretches out on his towel, closing his eyes against the sun and wishing he’d remembered to bring sunglasses.
“You gonna take a nap?”
A shadow falls on his face, and when he opens his eyes, Danny’s leaning over him. He must have moved his chair, or maybe it was Sasha’s towel that shifted sideways, because Sasha doesn’t recall them being this close, his head practically at Danny’s feet.
But no one else is around. Even if they were, Danny’s friends have already seen Sasha sitting next to him, and some of their towels are probably in different places now, too.
So there’s nothing suspicious about this, right?
Danny and Patty had been wrestling together half-naked earlier, and all they’d gotten was a joke from Jess.
He decides not to think about it too much, especially since taking a nap sounds more appealing. “Maybe,” he says, squinting up at Danny. “You can talk.”
Danny laughs for some reason, but he does just that.
Sasha lies there, listening to his voice and the waves, the distant cries of seagulls and children.
It’s like floating on a current, the heat of Danny’s shin against his shoulder the only thing keeping him tethered to shore.
Feeling warm and safe, he lets himself drift off…
“Sup, Danny Boy.”
A loud, obnoxious voice splashes into the current like a cannonball.
“Sup, Pattycakes,” Danny replies, and Sasha almost groans—of course it’s Patty. He decides to pretend he didn’t wake up.
“It’s fucking freezing out there,” Patty complains. He must be toweling off, because cold water droplets are spattering all over Sasha. “I don’t even know where my balls are right now. Is he asleep?”
Sasha keeps his breathing slow and steady.
“Yeah, I think so.”
This information has zero effect on Patty, who proceeds to make such an absurd amount of noise that Sasha can’t help peeking through his eyelashes to see what the fuck he’s doing. The answer is opening a can of beer and a bag of chips.
“Brunch of champions,” he says to Danny. “Want some?”
“I’m good, but thanks.”
There’s a creaking noise—Danny must have shifted in his beach chair—and Patty snorts. “You and your chair, man.”
“All about that back support, baby.”
“Bro, you’re, like, worse than my grandma. Do you still have that massive thing of Advil?”
“I’ve got, like, six of those things,” Danny replies. “I’ve got the gym Advil, the home Advil, the travel Advil…”
“They should sponsor you for that.”
“Yeah, right.” There’s a bitter edge to Danny’s laughter, something Sasha’s not used to hearing. “I can’t get, like, any sponsors. Except for gymnastics brands.”
Patty’s quiet for a few seconds. Then he asks, “Is that cause of like… the thing with the doctor?”
“Well…” Danny sighs. “Yeah, that’s part of it. But like, no one cares about men’s gymnastics. I signed with an agent for Rio and even before all that stuff came out, we couldn’t get anyone interested. I mean, maybe if I actually won a medal instead of just fucking everything up like I always do—”
“That’s not true—”
“No, Patty, I fucked up at Rio. Like, someone at ESPN literally wrote this whole article about how I couldn’t handle the pressure and, like, all these people were commenting on it and saying I shouldn’t even have been on the team.”
Danny’s voice doesn’t sound like him anymore. It’s hard and almost… angry, if that’s the right word, though Sasha doesn’t think he’s mad at Patty. But still, it’s all wrong, and if Sasha weren’t stuck pretending to be asleep like an idiot, he’d…
Do what? You can’t hold him here.
“That’s bullshit, man,” Patty says. “Those people suck.”
“They’re right, though, like—oh, hey, Em.”
“Hey, guys.” Sasha hears footsteps in the sand, then a muffled thump as Emily returns to her towel. “What’s up?”
“What are you reading?” Danny asks quickly.
“Virginia Woolf.”
“What’s that about?”
Sasha loses the thread of the conversation, doesn’t bother to find it again.
Instead, he thinks about what he just overheard, wondering if he should say something later to Danny…
they could even sneak down to the Hartmans’ basement and cuddle the way Danny likes, the way he’d wanted after the high bar final…
yes, that would make Danny feel better… as soon as they can leave this beach…
“Hey, Sash?”
Fingers press gently on his shoulder, and Sasha smiles, because Danny’s voice is back to normal again. “Mm?”
“Me and Patty are gonna get some food. You wanna come?”
“Mm…”
Danny correctly interprets this in the negative. “I’ll get you something. Honestly, nothing’s healthy, but you want the chicken sandwich?”
“Mm.”
“All right.” Sasha can hear Danny’s amusement. “Just, like, turn over, okay? You’re gonna get burnt.”
Sasha groans but does what Danny says, rolling onto his stomach and folding his arms so he can rest his head. As Danny and Patty walk off, he sneaks a glance at Emily, hoping she’s too busy reading to chat; he’s startled to see her watching him instead, her grey eyes slightly narrowed.
His first, inane thought is that she’s annoyed at him for sleeping, which doesn’t make sense.
But then she smiles and goes back to her book, and he’s too drowsy and confused to make anything of it; so when a few more seconds go by and she doesn’t look up again, he decides it must have been accidental eye contact.
Somehow, he dozes off, only to abruptly awaken when he hears more voices—Jess and Mal returning from the water, he thinks.
He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, even though it’s starting to feel stupid, pretending to take such a long nap; but the other option is talking to three women he doesn’t know without Danny there to do the talking for him, so. He’ll stay exactly where he is, thanks.
“Okay, can I just say, he is so cute. And his arms? Like, holy shit.”
“Jess, he’s right there,” Emily hisses, which is when Sasha realizes they’re talking about him.
“What? He’s sleeping. Hey, Sasha!” Jess raises her voice, then drops it back down when she doesn’t get a reaction, Sasha frozen in awkward terror. “See? Besides, I don’t think his English is that good, he’s like barely said anything.”
“What about Patty?” Mal asks.
Jess sniffs. “Patty isn’t mature enough for a relationship.”
“I’m not going to argue with that,” Emily says, “but—”
“Danny told me Sasha has a girlfriend, though. Figures. All the good ones are taken.”
“What, and you were just going to flirt with him in front of Patty?” Mal scoffs.
“Oh, you mean like Patty was flirting with Brit Morris in front of me at his stupid beer Olympics?”
“Uh, that’s because he was trying to make you jealous because you were flirting with Brent Kaplan—”
“Whatever.” Jess sounds eager to change the subject. “Do you guys think Danny’s seeing anyone?”
Sasha forces his muscles to stay relaxed, even though he’s straining to catch the others’ responses. His whole body feels like it’s on fire, his breakfast turning to ash in his stomach.
“No, I don’t think so,” Emily says quickly.
“Isn’t that weird?”
“No, why?”
“I just feel like…” Jess pauses, and Sasha holds his breath. “You know how he was kind of, like, depressed after the Olympics? I feel like he’s in this rut now where it’s like, all he does is gymnastics. I mean, when was the last time he was even dating someone?”
“Uh… oh, what was her name, Allie,” Mal says. “She was cool.”
“That was, like, three years ago! And he always used to have a girlfriend. Seriously, it’s like, weird.”
Shit. Sasha’s panicking now, his heartbeat on fast forward. What if they start asking Danny questions when he comes back? Or what if they look over at Sasha and put two and two together? He should have moved his fucking towel—
“I don’t think we need to worry about Danny’s love life, he’s probably just hooking up with people.” Emily, at least, doesn’t sound all that interested in the details. “Hey, what do you guys think of this for my hair? I’ve been wanting to do pink for ages…”
“Oh my God, Em, balayage would look amazing on you!”
The girls continue talking about… whatever balayage is, and Sasha exhales into the sand, praying for Danny to hurry the fuck up and rescue him.