9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
Griffin's Beach Lex
L ex does her best to prove to everyone she's fine. It was going well. No, actually, it's not going well at all.
She's anything but fine, but she can't admit it. It would be like admitting failure, and she is not a failure. Yet. It's only been a few days. If she caves now, what does that say about her? She's gone soft if she crumbles now.
No matter how much work she's put into herself, Zane can bring her right back to the person she needed to escape from. The emotionally damaged little girl who has been told her entire life she was a mistake and never should have been born by the only man she's fought to get to love her. But with everything going on, his hatred hits differently now. Or maybe she's not as tough as she was when she left. Her skin is a bit thinner, maybe.
She'd glanced over Colt's shoulder as he worried about her to see Venom walking back to his apartment with Kandi. Her stomach churns at the image, but that's only because she hates that woman.
Colt finally accepts she's fine, and they move to the bar where she takes a quick shot and downs a bottle of water. The tequila calms her nerves, and the water helps counter it. The last thing she needs is to be drunk right now.
"Where'd Venom go?" Colt asks.
"He walked back to his apartment with Kandi."
"At least he's not as hung up on Marnie."
Tilting her head, she looks out at the hallway. "No, I'd rather he fuck Marnie. These bunnies quickly forget what it's like to have their faces bashed into hard surfaces, but I can still scare Marnie. I like him with Marnie than any of the fucking bunnies. Especially Kandi."
Jace's son pulls out a new bottle of water for her when the front door slams open, and Lex hears her name. Sighing, she closes her eyes for a brief moment. All she wanted was to get a drink before going into the apartment with Colt to get rubbed down in the most delicious places and forget the terrible parts of the day. Instead, she turns around to see an angry brunette stomping her way before pushing Lex, making her stumble on the bar stools.
Ky grabs Felicity before Lex can get her bearings together enough to take a swing, and she finds herself more upset with Ky than Felicity. He should know better than anyone that hitting her back is the only way to make this better.
"I am not in the right frame of mind to fight with you right now, Felicity," Lex says as she stands straight. "Not unless you want to wind up bleeding in the emergency room. Raincheck, 'kay?"
"You don't get to call the shots everywhere you go, you know. You're not the one wearing that President patch, and you sure as shit are not a patched member, so get off your fucking high horse. Bitch."
Eyebrows lifting, she crosses her arms as Ky releases Felicity after she fights against him hard enough to make him understand that whatever's going to happen will. His eyes are as wide as saucers. No, not just saucers. If eyes could be the size of dinner plates, that would be the best way to describe how shocked he is right now.
"Fine. You wanna fuck, let's fuck."
"Baby, this isn't good timing. Something—"
"Shut the fuck up, Ky," Felicity snaps at her husband, but her eyes never leave Lex. "You've had your chance to speak for the past twenty years, and you didn't. You don't get to open up your lying, cheating mouth now."
Twenty years? Cheating? Fuck.
"Says the woman also not wearing any type of Drifter leather," Lex says, her tone calm. "Hypocritical much?"
Laughing, Felicity shakes her head. "You think everyone fucking loves you, but what I've learned to be the real truth these past two years is that you're nothing but a piece of shit. If Colt hadn't claimed you, you'd be nothing more than a fucking club bunny."
Everyone around them gasps, but Lex, likely on the verge of a mental breakdown tonight, laughs. Her father stares with wide eyes, and she doesn't remember him coming back into the clubhouse. No one seems quite sure what to say or do, but everyone, Lex included, looks certain she's lost her damn mind.
Jennings's wife, Tess, who Lex also hadn't noticed, walks up and rests a hand on Lex's shoulder. "Felicity, those are fighting words. You better be ready to get your ass kicked because I'm pretty sure Lex has cracked just enough to kill you."
"Go home before you hurt yourself," Lex says and wipes her eyes as the laughter finally subsides. Her sides hurt, but she wouldn't mind throwing a couple of fists if Felicity doesn't heed her warning. "I've nearly reached my limit of patience for the day, and you're about five minutes away from pushing me past it by miles instead of inches."
"You were always Ky's friend, not mine," she says, shaking her head. "I defended you over and over again. Do you have any idea how many people actually hate Alexis Dalton? And marrying Colt and becoming Alexis Nichols hasn't helped you any, either. The number of people who think you're nothing but trash your daddy should've thrown away with your mother is astounding."
The words sting after the verbal beating her brother delivered, but she refuses to let it show. She can’t believe this is coming from Felicity. The two haven't been friends since that disastrous meeting at Lily's house, but she didn't realize they'd fallen this far apart.
Colt stands up on a chair and looks around the room. "Who here doesn't like my wife?"
"I don't fucking like her!" Rocco Hansen shouts from across the room.
Considering the feeling is definitely mutual, it doesn't even make Lex blink.
"You don't fucking count, Rocco, so sit your ass down and shut the fuck up," Taylor "Shep" Shepherd shouts back. Gotta love her strays. "And don't even think about saying a fucking word, Autumn. From what Heidi says, you're barely holding on by a thread as it is."
Shep's wife, Heidi, and Lex are almost as close as Lex and Shep are. But that's to be expected when two people are tortured by an enemy club together.
Everyone looks around, expecting someone to say something, and Lex refuses to break eye contact with Felicity. She can't quite figure out the woman's end game, but it's a guarantee the brunette will lose in the end. It's best to just let it play out if she wants to do this bullshit.
"Come on, someone has to not like her besides Rocco and his bitch," Colt says. "Who, Felicity? Since you came in here calling people out, fucking name them."
"Her brother, for one," Felicity says, her resolve cracking slightly.
Grinding her teeth, Lex tries to let that roll off her back as she realizes Felicity never expected to be put on the spot with her generalized statement and asked for specifics. "Yeah, and you defend me all the time to him, don't you? My brother? Really? That the best you got?"
"I was your friend, but you were never mine! Not once!"
"Never your friend, huh? How about the time I got kidnapped with your kids and saved their lives? No, that's right. That's something a shitty person would do. How about when I took a bullet for your daughter? Yeah, no that's just a really fucked up thing I did there. You know, the things anyone who hates your guts would fucking do."
Felicity shakes her head and sneers. "You don't get to use those situations forever. It's not a get out of jail free card, bitch."
"Okay, let's go further back then. How about the fact that you and Ky wouldn't be together if it wasn't for me? Which means you wouldn't have your kids; so if you hate your kids, sure, I get it. I'm a shitty fucking person who was never your friend. I cursed you with a life you hate. Made it just fucking miserable. Guess I'll just go straight to hell now."
"Everything you've mentioned has to do with Ky, too. What have you done for me ?"
Snapping, Lex shouts, "I'd be real fucking careful where you step, Felicity. You're walking in the area with land mines, and I think you've forgotten that Ky isn't the only one in your marriage I've kept secrets for. Keep it up. See how long it takes me to blow your entire world up right in front of your fucking face."
Ky walks over to stand between them but still off to the side. "What kind of secrets are you keeping for Felicity?"
"Go to hell," Felicity says. "Both of you."
She storms out, and Lex stares at the closed door as Ky stays beside her. "Uh, Ky?"
"Yeah?"
"Is there any possible chance that your wife knows you fucked her sister?"
Everyone unaware of the information lets out murmurs of shock, but Ky stays silent for a moment. She turns and looks at him, her hands balled into fists at her side. "Yes, there's a very good chance she found out about me and Vicky."
"I don't suppose it was you who told her, was it?"
"That would be a no. I thought Colt would have told you when she came storming in here and slapped him for it. Felicity was sent Vicky's journals where she apparently documented our tryst."
Colt knew she knew and didn't give me a heads-up? I know things have been crazy, but this is the type of thing he's supposed to tell his fucking wife.
Using all her strength, Lex pushes Ky so hard that he nearly falls back over a chair three feet away. She runs up to him and slaps his chest. "I've told you for years to fucking tell her!" she shouts, her hands never stopping. "Why are you men so fucking stupid?"
He grabs her hands, and she breaks down into tears. Her wrists are released as though they burn his palms, and she crouches down to hug her knees while burying her face into her knees. "Lex?"
Taking a few deep breaths, she calms herself down enough to stop the onslaught of tears. She's in a room full of people, after all. And they're all staring at her. "I don't know that coming home was the best decision I've ever made," she admits, her voice quiet and muffled by her legs.
Ky crouches down in front of her and places his hands on her shoulders even though she just slapped the hell out of his chest. HIs leather kutte protected chest, but still. "Lex, what's going on?"
Jumping up and out of his touch, she wipes the tears quickly. "I need some air."
Colt steps forward, his hand reaching out to her. "Baby—"
"I'll see you at home," she says, moving just out of his grasp. If he touches her, she'll break down, and she refuses to do that again. Not here. "Just... stay here for a while. Catch up with everyone and think about how you're going to make it up to me for not telling me Felicity knew the secret."
Turning on her heel, she hurries out to her car. It's not surprising to see Colt and a few others in tow, but she just waves to them as she drives off. When it rains it pours, and this on top of trying to continuously outrun the pain caused by the things her brother has told her throughout her entire life makes her wish she'd been strong enough to say no. Or just reject the call that night. To let it go to voicemail and never check it. She wouldn't be in this mess now.
"And now everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy," she says with a laugh as more tears fill her eyes.
Traffic is next to nothing, and Lex makes it home without incident, even though the tears blur her vision the entire ride home.
The sun has just started setting, and she sees the kids playing in the backyard through the sliding door. Calla squeals with delight as Noah and Lucas play with her, Hailey keeping an eye on everything from the steps of the deck, and Lex feels a fresh wave of tears washing over. Noah's the big brother Lex always wanted Zane to be. He always makes sure Calla's never left out, and he's always considering her when he does anything. Even as he nears ten, he wants to spend time with his little sister, and it breaks something inside of Lex.
Walking into the kitchen, she crouches onto the floor and lets the sobs take over.
At least my daughter can have the family I always wanted.
"Lex?" Hailey's voice interrupts her thoughts as she stands in the kitchen before Lex. "Are you... Are you okay?"
Laughing, Lex just looks up with wet cheeks. "No. No, I'm anything but okay right now."
"Do you... Would it be better if Lucas and I went to stay somewhere else?"
"No. Honestly, the two of you being here makes my stressful life a little easier," she says. "Plus, the kids have fun with you and Lucas. Hopefully you don't mind watching them because I'm going to need you guys to do it quite a bit for the next month or so."
"Can I sit with you?"
Nodding, Lex smiles. "It's surprisingly comfortable down here."
"I don't usually do the mushy crap, so don't get used to it, but you look like you could use it. Um... I'm not really good at this, but I guess I should just say that letting us stay here is more than we've gotten from anyone else since Dad died. Watching the kids feels like we're earning our keep or something."
This girl really does seem to struggle with expressing her feelings, and Lex can't help but put her own issues aside to wonder what the poor girl has gone through. "Colt told me what he brought you home to, and I don't want to see the pictures he took. I might murder someone if I do. I'm actually kind of impressed Colt didn't do that when he was there."
"Probably because Lucas was with us."
She laughs. "True. And I know it has to be bad if a biker says it's unlivable. You'd be surprised at the conditions those men can live in and feel comfortable."
Hailey folds her hands in her lap as Lex wipes her face with her fingers. "They're not even my parents."
"What?"
"Lucas and I have the same dad, but we have different moms. Dad left Mom for Lucas's mom. They were engaged, and he called it off to be with Iris. Cheated with her, actually, and then he married her. Which is how Lucas came to be. Things weren't going well between Iris and Dad, and Iris was paranoid he'd leave her for Mom. She'd call and taunt my mom because Dad once told Iris that leaving Mom for her was a mistake."
" Taunt your mom?"
Sniffling, she avoids looking at Lex, her eyes glued to her hands instead. "They'd somehow already gotten primary custody of me, even though I would have rather been with Mom. I loved Dad, but I hate Iris. I'll never tell Lucas that, though. But she'd call and tell Mom she was a terrible mother and that's the reason she lost custody of me. Then she’d tell her everyone would be better off without her. That I didn't love her. Mom killed herself over it."
Lex's jaw drops. No mother should ever say that to another mother. Even though Lex may think it about Lucas's mom, she'd never say it to her. Not unless absolutely necessary, which would be extreme circumstances.
"Then, when Dad died, I was stuck with the step-monster. She married Harold, and he's a fucking creep."
"What the hell did Iris think she was going to accomplish? That your mom would tell your dad to fuck off because I don't think he'd be too happy knowing what his wife was saying to the mother of his first-born child."
"He was pissed. He found the letter Mom left, and she'd told him that it was Iris who convinced her this would be for the best. Dad and Iris got into a fight, and they didn't stop fighting for weeks. One night, he stormed out, angry, and that's when he crashed his car."
This poor girl lost both of her parents within weeks of each other, and it sounds like Iris was a cause for both deaths. Lex takes back her thoughts about not saying anything that terrible to another mother. Iris clearly isn't a competent parent.
"One day," Hailey continues, "I’m going to have the courage to go back into that house and get my mom's ring from that bitch. And the necklace she left me. It's a simple gold cross necklace, but once Iris learned it was my mom's, she took it and said she threw it away. I know it's still there, though."
"What's the ring look like?"
Sniffling, she wipes her eyes, and Lex realizes she'd teared up, too. "It's a gold band with a solitaire oval diamond. They never got married, but it's proof he loved her enough to want to one day. Before Iris. It pisses Iris off more than anything to know he loved anyone besides her. Probably because she knows he still loved Mom while married to her."
Lex reaches over and smooths the back of Hailey's dark hair. "We'll get them back."
"Okay, so that's more than I planned to share with you about me. Wanna talk about you now?"
She laughs. "I wish I could. I can't even tell Colt, which is killing me."
"Aren't married people exempt from the secret rule? I mean, you're married. Obviously, you tell each other things."
Smirking, she shrugs. "The club makes things a little more complicated. There's a different code. Colt's loyal to me, but he also has loyalty to the club. I think he'd put me before them, but I don't want to put him in a position where he has to make that decision. If things don't improve soon, I'm going to have to break my promise. Either that or I'll explode. We'll see how strong my resolve is."
"I heard this thing about how you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. You know, that whole thing about not being able to pour from an empty cup or something. Or that thing with airplanes where they say to put your own mask on before helping others. I think that kind of applies here."
"How old are you again? Forty-two?"
Laughing, Hailey stands but still doesn't meet Lex's eyes. "I read it on a poster somewhere."
"Smart poster."