Chapter 9
Dani
I forced one foot in front of the other as I approached Brock’s apartment. He probably thought I just wanted to fuck, but what I really needed to do was talk. We couldn’t just pretend that what happened last session didn’t happen. We also couldn’t keep doing it without talking about what it all meant, given that I was his trainer, and he was partners with my brother. I also really couldn’t imagine a world where that was the only time I ever got to touch him that way. This was all just too complicated, and I needed to talk it out before I went crazy. As hard as it was to put on my big girl panties and knock on Brock’s front door, that was exactly what I was doing.
I was officially eight weeks out from my fight. As hard as I had worked over the last month, things were ramping up now. Nate was on my ass about every drop of water I drank, every gram of protein I ate, and every minute I spent sparring and sweating. Shit was getting more and more real with each passing day. Preventing Brock from becoming a distraction wasn’t easy.
I bounced on my toes while I waited for him to answer the door. I’d either had too much coffee this morning, or I was more nervous about this than I’d let myself believe. On the one hand, I was a grown-up. I was twenty-eight years old. I had hopes and dreams that I worked towards. I could handle this. On the other hand, my palms were so slick I could barely hold my water bottle. I didn’t know if I was going to bolt or jump on him when he got to the door. The door swung open, and as it turned out, I didn’t do either one, I just stood there and gaped at him, feeling the color rise in my cheeks.
He’d had that butterfly-in-the-tummy effect on me since we were teenagers. If anything, it hit me harder today. How could he make a simple t-shirt and shorts look so fucking good? At least he was dressed for a workout. I’d half expected him to be so presumptuous about why I was coming that he would answer the door naked. I wouldn’t have minded the view, but it would have made it way harder to talk.
“Hey, Dani, come on in.” He moved back so I could step into his living room, and I immediately went to the couch to pet Sarg. He was adorable but also a great distraction while I got my shaking hands under control. He lowered himself onto the couch next to me. “I guess we need to talk.”
The fact that he thought so too, just made my heart a little more his. I turned towards him and nodded. Sarg jumped down between us on the couch, rubbing his cheek against my knee. I had thought a lot about what I wanted to say to him. Had spent the last few days figuring out exactly how I felt. Brock was hot. There was no denying that when he first caught my eye, that was the reason. He was fucking sexy, and the years of building muscle at the gym and the addition of his police uniform had just added to his appeal. If it was only my vagina that wanted him, I could move on and walk away. But it wasn’t.
He’d managed to keep a sense of humor despite doing a dangerous and stressful job. He wasn’t intimidated by the fact that I was tall and strong and practiced getting punched in the face. Most men’s egos would never let them admit that I was too much for them, but I’d had more than one guy get a good look at me in the ring and suddenly think we should see other people. Brock would be ringside at my fight if I asked him to, and he’d fuck me like I was his woman after. I knew he would. I wanted to confirm he would. Assuming he wanted me the way I wanted him. He was brave and strong but also okay with me being those things too. Me being big didn’t make him feel small. That was such a rare quality that I wanted to grab hold of it with both hands.
“I wanted to meet you here instead of the gym so we could sort this all out. I’ll be a hundred percent honest with you. I’ve had a thing for you for years… since we first met when you were on Josh’s soccer team.” I watched the cat as I stroked his back, wanting to get every word out before I looked up to see his reaction. I wasn’t interested in saving face at this point. I was a big girl, and I would own my feelings whether he returned them or not. “I always wanted to ask you out but never did because you’re friends with Josh. Since we’ve been spending more time together and after our last session, I just don’t think Josh is a good enough reason to stay away anymore.” I finally dragged my eyes up to his face. His eyes had that sparkle that I loved, and he was leaning into me, absorbing every word. “I want you if you’ll have me. If you agree that what we could be is worth pissing Josh off for a while.”
He slid his hand to grasp the back of my neck and pulled me forward so his forehead rested against mine. “I always wanted to say exactly that to you but never had the balls. I have no idea what to do about Josh, but me and you together will be worth figuring it out, I promise.”
My heart was a helium balloon bobbing around somewhere near the ceiling. I pulled back a little. “You really feel the same way? I assumed you always thought of me as your friend’s annoying little sister.”
“Dani, I’ve been obsessed with you since we first met. I’ve been with other women, but it always came back to you. You’re just not like–”
I held up my hand. “Not to ruin the moment, but I hope you are not about to tell me I’m not like other girls.”
He licked his lips, and the tops of his ears turned pink. “Are you going to let me pour my heart out or not?”
“Please proceed.” My heart was full to bursting, and I was dying to hear what he had to say, but still, I felt comfortable enough with him to say what I really thought.
“When I was doing my degree, I had to take this statistics class. I have no idea why, or what that had to do with criminal justice, but I couldn’t graduate without it. It was tough. A ton of us were bombing it. There was this girl who had a mind for this kind of thing. She organized a study group, so I went. She saved a lot of our asses that semester. She was obviously really smart, but she was cute too and was always laughing.”
A little possessive pang of jealousy had me wanting to track this girl down, but I let him finish.
“After the final exam, I invited her out for coffee. We talked and whatever. It was fine, but that was as far as it went.”
I played with the end of my braid. “If she was all of those great things, why didn’t you ask her out again?”
“She wasn’t you, Dani. You may not want to hear that you’re not like other girls, but you’re not. Not to me anyway. I didn’t grow up with the girl from Stats. I haven’t been obsessed with her since high school. Do you remember when Josh and I were on the soccer team together and I would come pick him up for practice?”
I nodded.
“Did you ever wonder why I was always early, knowing damn well Josh wouldn’t be ready? It was because I knew you would be outside practicing your martial arts, or whatever, and I could spend time with you.”
For as many times as I had dreamed of this moment, it paled in comparison to reality. He felt the same way about me as I felt about him. “Did you ever wonder why I was always out there when you showed up so early?”
He blinked at me. “I thought I was just lucky.”
I laughed. “I mean you could be. We’re together now, right?”